American Mummy EH
The mummy mask is the best thing in this movie. It’s less a mummy movie and more of a
possession/zombie movie anyway. It might
not have been a completely terrible film with a better budget and script
revisions. Its heart is in the right
place. It’s quite gory too for an
independent film but that’s where the budget comes into question. It’s the kind of gore that’s less impressive
and more nauseating with its low-budget ambitions. Also, this could’ve been any old possession
flick with the mummy substituted by a different entity. Mummies are an underrepresented figure in horror,
so I’d like to see a new film featuring them done effectively and
efficiently. 11/14/2017
Amityville: The
Awakening EH
I actually never saw any of the Amityville sequels past the third one. None of them have ever been available other
than expensive used VHS copies because I remember looking years ago after
purchasing the collection containing the first three films. I always like to watch the entire series when
having a marathon. I wonder if the other
sequels (I’m not even sure how many) were as bad as this which is why no
distributor ever bothered. I don’t think
this was intended to be a remake although it almost sort of is. I do remember watching the 2005 remake and
only recall thinking it was decent but contained innumerous jump scares. This reimagining, or reboot as I believe the
actual intention was, tries to be effective by utilizing the same old jump
scare tactics. The demonic brother
could’ve been beneficial but was presented sparingly. Right, the family moves into the infamous
haunted house with eye-like windows on 112 Ocean Avenue while the brother is in
a coma. You think a possession isn’t
going to develop from that? You think
the dog isn’t going to growl menacingly at the evil presence only it can
see? This entry was entirely
unnecessary. It’s even self-referential
when a fellow student shows the original film to the twin sister and another
girl, plus providing a copy of the novel at one point. The other girl mentions before watching the
movie that remakes suck. Since we’re on
the topic of self-reference, I wonder if she feels the same way about
reboots? The one she’s in sure sucked! 11/15/2017
The Bad Batch EH
This is the sophomore directorial feature from Ana Lily
Amirpour. I didn’t much care for her
debut, A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night,
despite being welcomed with open arms in the horror community. I love movies that dare to be different and
offer diverse perspectives, but I felt that film focused solely on being
culture-specific which distracted from the actual horror elements. It felt kind of empty too. I liked this film even less. I think from now on I should rate movies
based on their premise alone since many have great plots and themes but don’t
seem to work as full-length features.
The title refers to those thrown outside a fenced area into the desert
for being societal outcasts. There
appears to be two types: cannibals and
those that live in Comfort, which is a gated community itself hoping to maintain
some civility. It’s obviously a
commentary on class but set-up like an apocalyptic movie in the desert (aren’t
most of them in the desert?). Like I
said, some interesting concepts abound that probably sounded good on paper, but
this was almost like watching two hours of nothing. Ana Lily Amirpour, I believe you’ll eventually
make a movie I can say I’m a fan of.
Your heart is in the right place so keep trying. 11/8/2017
The Beguiled (2017) EH
You can add this to the pile of unnecessary remakes. Maybe I’d feel differently had I not seen the
original shortly ago or knew nothing of it.
Unfortunately, the original was at the forefront of my mind as is when
watching any remake. This offers nothing
new and I knew everything that was going to happen. Aside from the obvious production values and
different faces, the only thing altered was the absence of a black woman. You mean to tell me they were more inclusive
46 years ago? It was shorter too so that
means less character development and the story felt rushed (apparently American
remakes of other American films are no different---see Death Note review below). Since
there aren’t any drastic differences between the two, I’m going to tell you to
watch the original (reviewed two blogs ago, dated 10/27/17) and ignore this
one. It amazes me Sofia Coppola wrote,
produced and directed this considering she gave us original films like The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation, and the unorthodox
yet captivating Marie Antoinette. I certainly wasn’t beguiled by this. 11/7/2017
Beyond the Gates OK
I hate when movies give me hope in the beginning but
disappoint as they go along. I really
wish I liked this movie more. There’s a
video store which was once a thriving business but now 99% obsolete. A board game accompanied by a VHS is
discovered by two brothers at the once family-owned video store and might be a
clue to their father’s disappearance. Of
course we viewers already know this before the characters figure it out. I don’t recall there ever being board games
paired with a VHS to play either.
Anyway, the brothers and one of their girlfriends play the game and
their world becomes part of it. They
must collect four keys which will result in the deaths of people in their lives
in order to save their father. A
shop-owner informs the girl that no one ever beat the game, but do you think
this time will be an exception? This
could’ve been a fun movie but it’s actually rather plain and childish (which I
could forgive if the tone wasn’t so serious) despite being gory at times. It also tries to honor ‘80’s films but I
could tell it was very much made now. 11/8/2017
A Dark Song B/EH
This Irish film involves a woman undergoing a rigorous
ritual in order to see her murdered son again.
The first two-thirds are a recipe for boredom. Literally nothing happens despite thinking
something will at any moment. It gets a
bit dark towards the end but it’s kind of lame and the conclusion seemed a bit
too pat for me. Waste of time and a huge
disappointment. 11/7/2017
Death Note EH/OK
I have seen the live-action Japanese films but not the
animated series which is on my long list of things to watch. Like most trilogies, the movies lost steam by
the third outing. Actually, my interest
waned midway through the second film.
The series is diverting in the least.
This American update offered nothing new for me, basically being a
sped-up, condensed version like many other foreign films Americanized (Let Me In comes to mind). Someone with zero knowledge of the franchise
might like it better than I did. Positive
attributes include some shockingly gory deaths in the beginning and Ryuk the demon
looks less cartoony. This is another
film accused of “whitewashing” but every other Hollywood remake of East Asian
movies has been no different. Was anyone
upset L was played by a black guy? There’re
lots of very good Asian films that are usually much better than the remakes
(this being one of them) if remade at all, so those will always be around. Whatever.
Being marginalized myself (in one aspect), I’m not going to stop
different groups from complaining about underrepresentation. 11/7/2017
Girls Trip OK
Four lifelong girlfriends reunite after years apart for a
trip (business for one) to New Orleans.
Sounds like an overly familiar setup.
It is, but there’s a bit of fun, it’s raunchy as hell (always a plus in
my book, I prefer the company of uninhibited peeps so I don’t have to worry
about choosing my words carefully), and the crazy, immature friend played by
Tiffany Haddish undeniably generates laughs with her manic persona. Two hours is a bit long to party with these
gals though and there’s an overall sense of conventionality. The friends fight, then they make up, yada,
yada, we all know how that works. Those
scenarios transcend race and gender. I
did appreciate how there was no fake lesbianism and some characters acknowledged
that not everyone is straight. 11/15/2017
I Love You Both OK/G
Not too many LGBT films focus on the B part of the
group. Bisexuals often get flak from
both the straight and gay communities. I
used to think being bisexual was a choice especially amongst young women. Similar to me being angry at straight people
for thinking homosexuality is a choice simply because they aren’t, I shouldn’t
be biphobic just because I don’t happen to be bisexual. I know they probably have their preferences
but it must be tough deciding which gender to end up with, not only for themselves
but for the ones they’re dating. I
always theorized if I ever dated a bisexual, who’s to say they wouldn’t end up
in a heterosexual relationship to please their families and society in general? This movie features a bisexual man but
focuses more on the man and woman he might be in love with. They happen to be brother and sister, twins
no less, that both like men. The gay man
is also the writer, director and producer.
His straight sister co-wrote and is his real-life sister, not twins as
far as I know. Their mother in the film
is also their real-life mother, so this is literally a “family” film. I liked how the words bisexual and gay were
never mentioned; these people were simply living life being who they were. Progress!
Like I suggested above about how complex bisexual relationships must be,
I can’t imagine how hard it would be to love both a brother and sister (twins
at that) and the complications that could ensue from whoever the bi person ends
up with. I commend the sister for her
ultimate decision. This is one of the
more realistic LGBT movies I’ve seen but it ended too soon. I usually complain about movies being longer
than necessary, but this could’ve benefitted from a few extra minutes added. 11/14/2017
The Mist: Season One EH
Was this spinoff series of the Stephen King novella and
feature film unnecessary? Yes. The
Mist was a grade-A creature feature and one of King’s best
adaptations. I’m a fan of the novella
too. Other than a few bugs and leeches,
this series was in no way a creature feature.
It was more a ghost story and not a very compelling one. A black figure appears in the mist at one
point and the mist itself appears to consume people. While a flesh-eating mist might’ve been
interesting elsewhere in a different time and place, no one ever gets tired of
creatures both big and small causing mayhem.
At least this viewer doesn’t and that’s what made the movie so fun and
was what I expected from this. The same
thing happens as in the movie where people from a small-town are trapped in
different places (a mall and church mostly) and tensions inevitably occur as
the mist lingers outdoors. Nothing much
happens until it gets darker towards the end when secrets are revealed and
tensions reach an all-time high, but not worth slugging through the prior inactivity. The homophobic football player ends up being,
you guessed it, gay himself. Right, only
in the movies (or visual media in this case).
Most real-life homophobes are just that, straight homophobes, like the
gay kid’s dad telling him that men are supposed to love women. I’m pretty sure this took place in current
times. The girl is still slut-shamed for
accusing a guy of rape due to her mother’s “sordid” history while the guy is
simultaneously guilty solely based on the accusation. Shit like that will always endure but I think
we’re all tired of the same old clichés in entertainment. A black man appears to be the only racist
though when implying a Middle Eastern might be responsible for the mist as a
terrorist act. I’m not sure if a second
season is planned, but I don’t intend to continue if so. Read the novella and watch the movie
instead. 11/14/2017
1922 OK
I did read the novella in Stephen King’s collection Full
Dark, No Stars, recollecting specific parts while watching. In the same way I won’t compare art forms
like the recently reviewed, Gerald’s Game,
this critique will be on the film only. It’s
decent but still felt somewhat familiar and unfinished. It’s a dark tale about a man slowly falling
apart after one action leads to one consequence after another, all started out
of greed. It brings up the age-old
reflection---If this one event didn’t
occur, how much different would my life have been? Thomas Jane doesn’t play a very
convincing country boy to the point I knew he was acting. That’s not good since performers should be
fully immersed in character while I’m the voyeur spying on their lives. Oh, and if you have any form of musophobia,
you might want to steer clear because there’s rats, RATS, RATS! 11/7/2017
Patti Cake$ OK
I really thought this independent flick about a heavy-set
white girl from Jersey being an aspiring rapper was going to be original. Aside from the eponymous character, we’re
introduced to other unconventional characters like an East Indian sidekick
(another demographic unheard of in the hip-hop world) and a mostly-mute, dreadlock-coiffed
black dude into playing industrial-type rock music. It surely features original characters but
ultimately drowns in conventional sentiments.
Killa P, as “Patti Cake$” is monikered, has to work shitty jobs to get
by in hopes of escaping her humdrum existence.
Been there, seen that. Her life
at home with mom and Nan isn’t so peachy either. Kinda sounds like 8 Mile with a gender/location swap, only this film is entirely
fictitious. There are rap battles and
the verbal assaults would fit right into that Eminem biopic. Do you think someone close and of old age
passes away? Do you think our heroine
happens to meet her idol and he spoils her dreams by hinting she’s a white girl
trying to make it in a black male-dominated industry, making her nothing but a
“culture vulture?” Do you think mom
initially criticizes her daughter’s dream until eventually showing up at one of
her shows? Among other things, yes to
all three. I thought independent films
were supposed to defy mainstream standards.
Seemingly the only nonconventional thing here is some of the characters
themselves. 11/8/2017
Tom and Jerry: Willy
Wonka & the Chocolate
Factory OK/G
Yes, I used to watch Tom
and Jerry as a kid. I wouldn’t be
surprised if every ‘70’s, ‘80’s and ‘90’s kid did. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by
Roald Dahl is one of my all-time favorite books. I’m a fan of both filmed adaptations starring
Gene Wilder and Johnny Depp, respectively.
When I saw this combination, I had to.
I even dug up my old VHS copy of the Tom
and Jerry movie to watch eventually.
While watching this, I wanted to watch both live-action films
again. For some odd reason, whenever I
read the book or watch the movies and even while watching this, I always want chocolate
and I’m not usually a chocolate person (with some exceptions of course). Anyway, this is basically an animated remake
of either film (the Gene Wilder one particularly) with Tom and Jerry
added. Kind of like Pride and Prejudice
and Zombies (the source material more than the filmed adaptation) where
zombies were added to the original text.
Nothing necessarily wrong with that but why not just watch the
live-action movies? Why Tom and Jerry
and not Beavis and Butthead or Tweety and Sylvester? It’s still a bit of fun for fans of both or
at least one of the combined materials.
The animation doesn’t look too updated either which was good despite
obviously looking sharper and cleaner than the cartoons I grew up with. I would hope so with all the advanced
technology introduced since then. I just
despise when cartoons I grew up with look “too updated” (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles being an example). 11/14/2017
---Sean O.
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