Sunday, August 12, 2018

Mooby Reviews 8/12/18

My current film bashings (mostly)...

Acrimony                                                                     EH
I’m unsure why Tyler Perry, he of Diary of a Mad Black Woman fame and other Madea (his cinematic alter ego) comedies, decided to put his name in front of the title since I don’t recall another movie titled Acrimony.  It isn’t exactly original either and it's 2 hours!  It’s basically a diary of a mad black woman (!) told via flashbacks to a therapist.  In standard domestic thriller/Lifetime TV movie fashion, a girl meets a boy, they fall in love, everything seems peachy at first, then the problems begin.  He isn’t abusive, at least not physically, he just drains her financially and emotionally.  The film basically makes both genders look bad.  The guy is portrayed as a cheating bum that can’t support himself while the girl is the sole breadwinner that continuously falls for his bullshit.  For a woman that appeared to initially have anger issues and not take any shit, I find it hard to believe she would’ve put up with his bullshit for one second.  She even calls herself out on going back to him and staying with him?!  On one hand, feminists should love the fact she’s the provider and he’s dependent but their selectivity would likely shine through since they wouldn’t feel she should have to support him and didn't kick him to the curb sooner.  The woman, played by Taraji P. Henson, doesn’t want him when he’s hard-up and causes financial troubles for her and her family, but when he suddenly gets money and provides her with some, she automatically wants him back and gets jealous when he’s with another woman.  Then it briefly becomes the Fatal Attraction/Obsessed clone you were expecting it to be all along.  This film was a joke but, unlike the Madea films, it wasn’t intended to be. 
7/28/2018


Disobedience                                                               OK
Jewish lesbians, played by Rachel Weisz and Rachel McAdams.  There is a slightly explicit sex scene for all you functioning straight/bi men and gay/bi women; one part involving saliva is rather gross too.  McAdams’ character is actually married to a man.  It’s amazing how homosexuality still isn’t completely acceptable in 2018.  The other thing that amazes me is how a historically oppressed group can hate another group (yes, it's hate if you don’t “agree” with homosexuality or are against it in any way, it’s just a nice way of saying it, don’t even argue with me).  Jews are probably the most persecuted religious group in history (the Holocaust was only part of it)---while Jewish ultimately refers to religion, it basically evolved into a nationality much like Italian or German whether coming from Israel or not---so how could they be homophobic?  The same goes for other historically oppressed groups like Black Americans and American Indians---both groups have been homophobic just like, or even more than, everyone else.  Yes, Christianity may have been forced on many but that’s beside the point.  The point is, and I’ve said it before, homophobia transcends race and culture and religion (that isn’t secular) has often been the catalyst for it, in addition to societal expectations.  Did I like this film about two women that couldn’t be together because of the community they were born into?  Story-wise, it was okay.  While still reflecting many current homophobic attitudes, whether blatant or more reserved but accepting, it isn’t anything I haven’t seen before.  It’s also leisurely paced with one conclusion being too fitting and basically expected however sweet.  The ultimate ending felt wrong, like the preceding events were all for nil...like life for many I suppose.  The fact we keep seeing similar LGBT stories where acceptance still isn’t 100% goes to show the world still needs to change. 
7/27/2018

Eighth Grade                                                              OK/G

I hated eighth grade.  Of course 1996 was much different than 2018.  Actually, according to a calendar, this takes place in 2017 but still.  We had fire drills, not school shooting drills (seriously, how can hiding under a desk protect you from a gunman?).  We didn’t have various forms of social media and smartphone apps and the internet itself was still pretty much in its infancy.  People wrote letters to each other by hand (at least those with friends did).  Books, music (via CD’s on CD players or Discmans), and movies were what kept us entertained (at least for my unpopular self).  There will always be cliques though and those deemed different will always be picked on or ignored whether online or in person.  Back in 1996, rumors and lies via word-of-mouth were what ruined lives.  This film follows a girl named Kayla during her last week of eighth grade.  She is unpopular, makes “self-help” videos on YouTube, and isn’t exactly a model which I hate to say since beauty is subjective, but she doesn’t exactly have guys (or girls) swooning over her, online or in person.  In certain situations, she made me mentally scream at her by acting in ways that would definitely make her unpopular.  There were several genuine depictions of how awkward it can be for an insecure person at that age, but the film wasn’t raw like Welcome to the Dollhouse or Thirteen or as quirky as Napoleon Dynamite to ever become a classic.  8/5/2018

Extinction                                                                    OK
New Netflix film that begins as a War of the Worlds-type ripoff looking like an overwrought video game you’re watching someone else play.  There’s a midway twist that actually took me by surprise and did make the film somewhat better (hence my rating going from EH to OK), but not enough to save the entire movie.  I think the overall story probably looked better on paper (or screen).  8/6/2018

House of the Witch                                                      B
An abandoned house that’s allegedly haunted.  Every town has one.  At least every small town in America.  At least in the movies.  A group of young peeps go to said house on Halloween night.  Someone else went to said house earlier in hopes of scaring them upon their arrival.  It isn’t long before the young peeps realize something more deadly awaits them.  Then you have at least another hour of a formulaic-as-hell body count movie with some ghastly (and I don’t mean in a good way) effects.  The film wasn’t even halfway over when I wanted it to be.  Never a good sign!  8/8/2018

The Lucky Man                                                           B
A man posing as a healing pastor travels to different churches along with his girlfriend to scam people for money in order to feed his blow addiction.  That’s basically it.  Oh, he actually does have a godlike power to heal people too.  It ultimately ends up being too faith-based for me with themes of either ‘never tempt with fate’ or ‘what goes around, comes around’ or both.  I hated it.  8/11/2018

The Meg                                                                      OK
I’ve been looking forward to this since it was mentioned that Jason Statham would star in a shark movie and not just any shark movie, but one with a friggin’ megalodon!  What a disappointment this was!  I had high hopes and really thought they were going to strike three with summer-released shark movies that began with a bang in 2016 (The Shallows) and followed with the completely acceptable 47 Meters Down last year.  It’s hard to tell how much better the original R-rated version would’ve been.  I understand these movies have to begin with all the necessary but boring exposition and introductions before the bulk of the anticipated mayhem, but it seemed to take a very long time before the ball got rolling.  The characters are clichéd to the core (sassy black guy, tough female, precocious child, proud parent not addressing so until it’s too late) and many of the shark attack scenes are predictable or not exactly notable.  I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy any of this because I did, particularly how the massive beast was ultimately destroyed, but it just wasn’t fun enough or frightening enough to be mega.  On a side note, there actually is a fairly worthy Thai cover of Toni Basil’s “Mickey.”  8/12/2018

Revenge                                                                       OK
A woman is violated by three men, left for dead, and exacts revenge on them one by one.  Sounds familiar, no?  I Spit on Your Grave maybe?  Both versions and the remake’s sequels?  I know there’re others but the Meir Zarchi 1978 cult classic always comes to mind first.  The woman here was only raped by one of the men offscreen, but the other guy that saw it about to happen and did nothing is just as guilty.  The man the woman went to the isolated house in the desert with can’t very much come to her defense since he’s married (yeah, he’s cheating) and all three men will go to jail for 15 years.  I can hear all the conservative (and some liberal) criticizers saying the woman deserved what happened to her for being scantily clad amongst three men (whom were there in the desert to hunt like they always do) and basically coming on to them.  Consent is still consent though and no one deserves to be sexually assaulted.  There is bloodshed to be had, especially the ending, but the film is too long with each revenge sequence drawn-out when already knowing the wronged woman is going to prevail each time.  I thought having a woman behind the camera would make this rape/revenge tale a little more distinctive, but it pretty much delivers exactly what you’d expect, nothing more.  8/7/2018


Spinning Man                                                              EH

Guy Pearce.  Pierce Brosnan.  Minnie Driver.  Thriller.  Well, more of a mystery.  It can’t be that bad, can it?  Well…the entire time (the film is 100 minutes) you’re wondering if Guy Pearce’s character, who is a philosophy professor (philosophy can make you go crazy), is guilty of a crime or simply being framed with mounting evidence.  The ending is completely flat.  Waste of time and talent.  8/4/2018


Tully                                                                            OK
I can’t speak from personal experience but I can understand how hard motherhood (or parenthood for that matter) can be.  On the other hand, people choose to have kids and if they have more than one, they should know what they might be getting into.  While I think babies are adorable and kids can be equally irritating and funny, I can’t imagine having to take care of them 24-7.  I’ve gotten antsy just watching my nieces (I don’t have any nephews) for a little bit, so props to the parents out there that chose to have kids; it can be a thankless, unpaid job.  Charlize Theron plays a mother of three that doesn’t hold back when needing to let her frustration out.  Her brother suggests a night nanny to take care of the new baby while she sleeps.  Initially, she thinks that’s a shady idea and who wouldn’t?  There’ve been plenty of movies showing what dangers could occur (which she even acknowledges).  What if she (I’m only being gender specific due to the circumstances) steals the baby?  What if she kills you and your family?  Eventually she gives in and the eponymous nanny becomes the “angel” sent by God or fate (whatever you believe in), making Charlize’s character a better, or less stressed, person.  Blah, blah, blah.  I did like how some characters truthfully dealt with certain situations and I liked how I was uncertain of the outcome (it thematically involves something other than motherhood), but I wasn’t entirely satisfied when the credits rolled.  8/4/2018



You Were Never Really Here                                      EH/OK
I recall Joaquin Phoenix saying he was no longer going to be acting at one time.  His performance wasn’t bad here at all, I’m just saying; proof you should never believe when artists (especially musicians) bid their farewells.  This is basically a sophisticated body count movie with Mr. Phoenix being the “good guy.”  It had a dark undertone but I ultimately felt like I was really here before but something was missing this time around.  8/11/2018

---Sean O.

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