Newest movie reviews:
Batman v
Superman: Dawn of Justice B
Perhaps I’m not too much a fan of superhero movies,
especially modern ones. I’m even less a
fan of “vs.” movies. By the end of this
2 ½ hour movie, it’s not even a “vs.” movie anymore. Oh, Wonder Woman appears too. (I’m surprised feminists haven’t complained
about her being omitted from the title).
It ends up being those three “vs.” Lex Luthor’s creation. (I sense a
misleading title). Too much action bores
me and isn’t that supposed to have the opposite effect? I was completely bored by all the Transformers sequels I saw (I stopped
watching after the third one and I’m surprised I made it that far). I fell asleep
more than once during Watchmen. This movie was a waste of time too. 9/10/2016
Broken Vows B
Yet another movie (surprisingly not a TV movie) about
someone that wants to forget about a bad experience so they hook up with
someone that turns out to be a psycho that won’t leave them alone. I sorta liked it when it was called Fatal Attraction, but not the endless
titles it had after that. This was
probably made and marketed due to the fact it stars Wes Bentley and Cam
Gigandet---actors more recognizable by face than name. I couldn’t wait for it to be over after 15
minutes. It is 91 minutes according to
the Netflix envelope. Terrible. 9/9/2016
The Disappointments
Room B
I could say I was disappointed (!) with The Disappointments Room but I had no knowledge of anything about
it beforehand. All I knew was that it
was a new horror movie playing near me and was written by Wentworth
Miller. Perhaps there’s a reason it wasn’t
widely advertised. We’ve (at least I’ve)
seen this all before. Lady loses a child
at a young age therefore goes crazy and possibly sees and does things unaware. The only thing worthy is a rather gruesome head
bludgeoning by hammer. Otherwise, what
the fuck were you thinking Mr. Miller? 9/11/2016
Girls Gone Dead OK
What else do you expect with a title like that? The title spells it all out for you: Girls
Gone Wild with a body count. Far
from being the best of the genre but the weapon (a war hammer/axe) is pretty
rad. There’s gore aplenty, some possibly
gag-inducing. Decent time-killer worth a
Netflix rental. Or just watch it for
free online (I’m sure it could be downloaded like everything else). There’re worse things you could do on your
downtime. 9/2/2016
11.22.63 OK
I own the book but haven’t read it yet. I still have innumerous books I haven’t read
yet. The book this 8-episode miniseries
is based on is really big, like It
and The Stand big, so I don’t think
it’s on the top of my “to read” list.
The classic sci-fi/time travel question applies here: “If you could go back in time to change
something, would you? And what would it
be?” We would all probably like to
“butterfly effect” something if we could.
This Hulu-presented adaptation answers the question the same way
countless other time travel tales have:
“If you change one thing, you change everything usually not for the
better and possibly worse in some scenarios.
Therefore it’s best just to leave the past in the past, learn from it
and move forward.” I liked it for the
most part but it’s no different than the stories I just referenced, this time
taking place during the three years leading up to the JFK assassination. Plus, I’ll watch anything with Stephen King’s
name on it (minus any of his Dark Tower fantasy stuff).
He’s had a significant impact on my life, so I’ll keep reading his
stories and watching the movies/miniseries/TV shows they’re based on. Even if they suck, like Kingdom Hospital. 9/5/2016
The Jungle Book OK
I wasn’t thrilled about another live-action adaptation. I don’t remember the early 90’s live-action
version being too good, but that could’ve been my mentality at the time. This 2016 version actually isn’t that bad but I still prefer the animated
one released by Sir Walt’s studio. I
could tell the animals weren’t real (of course most of them realistically couldn’t
be) but they don’t look that
bad. The idea of live-action characters
singing frightened me beforehand but it wasn’t too terrible and seldom happened.
9/2/2016
Keanu EH
Key & Peele are funny here and there. I was never a devotee. This movie is tonally all over the
place. I guess it’s supposed to be a parody
of gangster flicks. I didn’t find most
of it too funny. I admit the titular
feline is cute as hell. I can’t resist
cracking a joke that pretty much sums up the entire movie: Straight men will do some crazy shit for (a)
pussy! And not that I care too much about
twists but this movie had one that slightly surprised me. 9/2/2016
Man of Steel EH
The new Batman vs.
Superman movie actually looks pretty decent (boy was I wrong, see review
above). I found out it was a sequel to
this Superman movie that bypassed my movie-watching radar when it came out
three years ago. It could be I had no
interest. I’ve admittedly never seen any
of the original movies with Christopher Reeve.
The only knowledge I have of Superman is watching the early 90’s show, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of
Superman. I loved that show. I was also in sixth grade. This movie rapidly jumps from one scene to
another and becomes a typical big-budget, loud, excessive special effects-laden
blockbuster film. Henry Cavill is at
least better looking than Dean Cain was.
9/4/2016
Midnight Special EH
The big question is what makes this kid so special and
what’s going to happen? They didn’t need
to make a boring ten-minutes-shy-of-two-hours movie to answer it. I feel like only part A of the story was
presented; it started getting better when part B was briefly revealed at the
end. This is better suited as a
half-hour Twilight Zone or Outer Limits episode. Or if they make a sequel called Early Morning Special (?), I might be
interested if they pick up where this ended.
I was vaguely reminded of E.T. while
watching.
E.T. wasn’t boring though and still makes me cry to this day. This failed to move me. 9/2/2016
R.L. Stine’s Mostly
Ghostly: One Night in
Doom
House EH
You don’t necessarily need to see the two preceding entries
in this filmed series. Some of the
characters reappear but neophytes need not worry who they are. Not that they or even people like me (who saw
the first two) would care much. Like
Stephen King, R.L. Stine is one of my favorite authors and left a huge impact
on my life. Therefore, anything with his
name attached is guaranteed to garner a gander from this reviewer. Even if it’s as bad as this. This is basically like the same TV movies I
used to watch during the early 90’s involving horror elements but being more of
a comedy geared towards no one older than preteen. The special effects just got worse,
twenty-plus years later! R.L. Stine
shouldn’t think he can get away with putting out garbage because he knows fans,
whether life-long or newbies, will watch or read no matter what! 9/8/2016
---Sean O.
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