Adventures in
Babysitting (2016) OK
I am a fan of the Elizabeth Shue-starring Adventures in Babysitting. I watched it quite a bit growing up and am
still a fan. As far as Disney Channel
movies go, and remakes in general go, this update wasn’t too bad. Some parts admittedly were a bit clever how
they referenced the original’s scenes without outright duplicating them. Since it’s a family movie on the Disney
channel, there is no “Don’t fuck with the babysitter” here. I will say I don’t feel like I wasted my
time, although I still prefer the ‘80’s version, but you’re always going to
prefer the one you saw first and/or grew up with. If younger audiences do see this one first
and like it, hopefully they’ll be interested in checking out the original. Of course you know my response would be to
just make them watch the original one to begin with. 1/8/2018
The Bar G
Strangers become trapped together in a bar. That’s the Netflix synopsis given for this
thriller from Spain, but don’t let that deter you from watching this film that’s
actually better than that simple description.
The entire film doesn’t take place entirely in one specific area and there’s
excellent characterizations making this an above average
strangers-trapped-inside-with-an-imminent-threat-outside film. There’s a reason
for the entrapment but I’ll let you watch so you can vicariously go along with
all the confusion and paranoia. Interesting
suggestion on how fleeting news stories are and how fabricated they may be presented
to the world at large not witnessing the events. 1/3/2018
Black Mirror: Season 4 G
Like most anthology shows, this British series revolving
around advanced technology contains hit and miss episodes. It’s not my favorite anthology show, but I
like it enough. Season 3 contained some
of my favorite episodes and this season didn’t contain a single one I truly
disliked. The six segments were all at
least decent with three being above average.
“USS Callister” was the longest and my least favorite but still worthy
with a Tales from the Crypt-ish
denouement rightfully deserved for the leading character. It obviously references Star Trek and I, not being a fan, can honestly say you don’t need
to be. “Arkangel” directed by Jodie
Foster is compelling and would certainly make teenagers paranoid if such a
technology were ever introduced. Parents
would like that they could always monitor what their child sees while young,
but curiosity would make them equally paranoid (especially as they age) causing
them to see things they’d wish could be unseen.
“Crocodile” was an effective thriller with a character as cold as the
frozen landscape. The device would be
very helpful in reality too. “Hang the
DJ” was basically the heterosexual equivalent to season three’s “San Junipero.” Dates are arranged in an enclosed society via
device and time limits are given to how long they last (could be 12 hours or 5
years). While it may be advanced and
easier for some to date, it also reverts back to when marriages and
relationships were fixed whether the feelings were mutual or not. It was very potent and a plausible commentary
on the modern dating world. “Metalhead”
was the shortest and my favorite and also the best postapocalyptic tale I’ve
seen in quite a while. The title doesn’t
refer to a fan of metal music but robotic dogs that are rather deadly. I’d be curious to see how it would be
stretched to feature length. Finally,
“Black Museum” contains stories within a story that I actually wished contained
more. The tales revolve around gadgets
stored in the titular museum that caused damage in the outside world. One involved a reverse Get Out scenario that would end up being Hell for both parties in
any relationship. I can’t imagine how
hellish it would be to remain inside a stuffed toy forever either. The ending has a stale revelation but also
contains a rightfully deserved comeuppance honoring Tales from the Crypt (wow, I said the same thing for 2 episodes). Season 4 of Black Mirror is worthy and I look forward to season 5 if made. While technology can be beneficial, these
episodes and the series in general prove it can be quite scary if in the wrong
hands. 1/4/2018
Dark: Season One G
Time travel has always been an interesting concept to
me. As a plot device, it can be intriguing
and/or mind-fucking since there’s so many ways (both good and bad) it can be
used while always defying logic. This
Netflix series from Germany alternates between 1953, 1986 and 2019 (33 years
between each as you can see and as you’ll be informed) with a cave in a small
town acting as the “DeLorean.” By the
way, it’s poorly dubbed so (if you’re like me) I suggest you adjust the audio
and subtitles before each episode (yes, you have to do it each time
unfortunately) to make it less distracting.
I watch lots of foreign films so subtitles never bothered me none. Poor dubbing, when noticeable, does make
something less worthy to me (I wasn’t crazy about High Tension the first time for this very reason). Anyway, an explanation is eventually given for
the time travel and why the cave is the gateway between times. At least as best an explanation as can be. It still might very much go over your head. There is a lot to take in but it doesn’t make
the entire series any less compelling. I
liked what I took from it. I’m actually
glad there’re plans for a season two because I feel there’s more room for this
to expand and more to the story we haven’t been told yet. Recommended.
1/13/2018
Dead of Night OK/G
Anthology film from 1945 that’s very dated (1945? What do you expect?) but would’ve been very
original at the time. I want to lean
more towards G since it appears to be a pioneer for anthology films but I’m still
stuck in the middle since I saw it for the first time with 2018 eyes. Not very fair, I know, because it’s not the
film’s fault I haven’t seen it until now and I wasn’t born until 37 years after
its release. Two stories involving a bus
accident and a game of hide-and-seek are outdated, one involving a mirror is kind
of lame, and a ghost story involving golfers is more comical than spooky even
for its time. The standout tale involves
a ventriloquist dummy (you know how I love my evil dolls) with a twist I
haven’t seen matched to this day. The
film’s ending was very surreal (albeit overdone by now) and likely freaked out
viewers at the time. If you like
anthology films, you should check it out.
Like all forms of entertainment (be it movies, music, writing, what have
you), you may not prefer its forebears after being familiarized with current
examples, but you should at least honor them.
1/3/2018
Despicable Me 3 OK
I think the Minions had their 15 minutes. Other than their standalone movie, the focus
hasn’t primarily been on them for all three Despicable
films anyway. They don’t get as much
screen time here either as the story revolves around Gru and his twin brother,
Dru, introduced here for the first time.
I did like Bratt, a mullet-coiffed villain mentally stuck in the ‘80’s
since that’s when he was a prominent child star. A spinoff with him might be cool (doubtful). Some parts are funny but I think this
franchise and the yellow beings themselves (that I was once fond of) are
becoming quite stale. 1/4/2018
Friend Request EH/OK
I mean, wouldn’t the popular girl think something was up
when the “odd” girl (let it be known that I hate referring to her that way, that’s
just the way she was portrayed) has zero friends (no family members or like-minded
individuals from groups?), posts creepy animated videos, and requests to be
friends with just her on facebook? Lo
and behold, the loner chick offs herself after being set up by popular chick
and nothing turns out well for her and her friends. There’s an interesting mythology added to
this type of revenge tale, but it’s generally just a formulaic body count movie
for the digital age. Oh, and wasps (and
any flying insect that stings for that matter) are very frightening in real
life but not so much as swarming CGI. 1/10/2018
Insidious: The Last Key OK/G
This is the fourth one in the franchise. Release-wise.
Chronologically, this is the second one.
The first one is the third one, the second one is the fourth one, and
the third one is the first one, chronologically. It’s not as confusing as it sounds if you’ve
kept up with the series. I’m a fan of Insidious. Insidious
2 was a very worthy sequel. Insidious 3 was decent. The
Last Key wasn’t bad for what it’s worth.
The values seem to diminish upon each release, but all are watchable
though. I’m still a sucker for dark
houses and dark scenes in general even though I despise jump scares that are
more irritating than frightening.
Luckily one didn’t happen every
time I thought one was coming, but there were still quite a few this time. Ultimately, this one felt unfinished. I know it’s part of a franchise and this was
only part of the overall story, but each film should stand on its own. I’m not deterring fans from seeing it, I’m
just saying I felt unsatisfied and therefore can’t give it a strictly G
rating. 1/10/2018
The LEGO NINJAGO Movie OK
The LEGO Movie was
great. The LEGO Batman Movie was good.
The LEGO NINJAGO Movie was
okay, barely. I think I’m being a bit
nice by giving it that rating. I will
though because many of the scenes were meticulous and looked like much effort
was involved (like all the LEGO movies thus far). Put it this way, if it was the same exact
movie in live-action, I would’ve liked it a lot less. The story and themes are way overdone (follow
your path, your true power lies within, father and son make up after years of
estrangement for reasons far from fresh, blah, blah, blah) and many of the
characters were too silly and unfunny for me.
That says a lot for a LEGO movie aimed specifically at a young
demographic. Since the LEGO movies seem
to get worse each time, I don’t have much hope for the next release. 1/3/2018
November Criminals EH
Very bland thriller involving a teen investigating the
shooting death of his friend after feeling the authorities aren’t doing their
job. Gee, I’ve never seen or heard of that
before. It basically illustrates that
you never truly know who people are, however well you think you may know them. Gee, I’ve never seen or heard of that before
either. This comes off as an episode for
a second-rate crime show where this would’ve been one of the worst
episodes. This is a very flat movie with
a very lackluster payoff. This is the
type of movie you’d likely see at the dollar store and buy out of curiosity not
expecting much and eventually either selling to Tunes (or any used media
outlet) or letting it collect dust at the back of your movie collection. You get the idea…1/9/2018
Psychopaths OK/G
This simple movie involving an executed murderer purportedly
manifesting within several psychopaths over the course of the same night is
quite nasty and I expected nothing less.
It’s also too short and underdeveloped, which is a shame because it’s so
well-made. 1/11/2018
Serpent OK/G
I was reminded of Backcountry
while watching this. Replace Canada with
South Africa and replace a black bear with a black mamba though. And unlike Backcountry, more than half this film takes place inside a tent
where the couple is trapped with a black mamba.
If they stay calm, the snake stays calm as we’re informed. It’s actually not as boring as it may sound
being confined to one location with minimal action. I won’t reveal whether the snake attacks
someone or not, but I highly doubt any snake attack (however deadly) could ever
rival or surpass the brutality of the bear attack in Backcountry. If there’s a
snake out there saying ‘hold my beer,’ I would love to stand corrected. It’s a different kind of natural horror film
and the outcome is slightly grim but, even as a simplistic story at roughly 82
minutes, it still felt mildly insufficient.
1/13/2018
Sharknado 5: Global Swarming EH
Well, well, well.
Five Sharknado movies have
been made. I will admit that the first
three were fun for what they were.
There’s not much you can expect from movies about sharks flying and
killing in tornadoes. The fourth one
added other kinds of ‘nados since sharknados weren’t too original anymore…I
guess. The cheeky fun began to wear thin
with the fourth one as well and this one was my least favorite so far. Funny, I actually have favorites for a
franchise like this. I just wasn’t
feeling it this time. The only novel thing
added was a massive shark comprised of sharks (Sharkzilla I think it was called),
but even that was short-lasting and kind of corny looking. I don’t mean to spoil anything, but a sixth
one is already planned since a new storyline has been hinted at before ‘To Be
Continued’ sprawled across the screen at the end. Yes, I will keep watching until they decide
to stop making them. Perhaps people like
me that keep watching are the reason they keep getting made? 1/8/2018
Sightings OK/G
This low-budget, under-the-radar film was actually better
than I thought it would be. The title has
a double meaning. The plot involves
Bigfoot but an interesting theory is presented connecting the cryptid being
with aliens that I’ve never heard or seen before. Points for that. I just wish it was fleshed out more. I have other reservations with the film
too. The creature appeared to be
practical but we only get to see its lower half. If the characters get to see its entirety, why
can’t we? I was reminded of the great Tales from the Cryptkeeper episode,
‘Grounds for Horror,’ in that regard. Unless
the budget was so low and they didn’t want the film ruined by something
resembling Harry (and the Hendersons),
I guess part of me wants to see how a practical Sasquatch looks each time. I guess I wanted more creature violence
too. Oh, and ‘Rufio’ has a part (all you
Hook fans) and doesn’t look any
different other than being slightly heavier.
Not bad like I said, just missing something. 1/8/2018
Slumber EH
Sleep paralysis and the demon associated with it seem to be
popping up a lot lately in entertainment.
An interesting scenario is presented at first but this film eventually
becomes completely uninspired. Henry
Fuseli’s painting The Nightmare, which depicts the sleep phenomenon and
is featured here, is infinitely more frightening than the entire movie. 1/13/2018
The Villainess OK
The beginning and end of this Korean action flick are
superb. The in-between, not so
much. The first-person POV in the
beginning is a bloody fun extravaganza that might be the best and most engaging
sequence I’ve seen in quite some time.
It’s a shame the film drags after that until the
not-as-good-but-equally-entertaining finale.
I would tell you to watch specifically for the beginning but I can’t
quite recommend the entire film because you’ll be wasting almost 2 hours until
the end. 1/8/2018
---Sean O.
No comments:
Post a Comment