Thursday, September 26, 2019

Never Hike Alone


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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Never Hike Alone                                                        G
Here is another fan-made Jason Voorhees film released in 2017 and currently available on YouTube (I reviewed another fan-made Jason Voorhees film, Vengeance, in my last blog entry).  Initially, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this barely 54-minute film since it was partially found footage-ish following one guy filming his hiking adventures before stumbling across the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake.  I think I can speak for the majority of Friday the 13th fans, or slasher fans in general, when I say we watch those plotless movies strictly for the characters and the kills.  Knowing full well the guy couldn’t be killed right away lest Jason have no more potential victims made me wonder how this was going to work.  Well…somehow it did work.  The short run-time probably aided in that regard.  There were beautiful shots of the woods and camp before Jason inevitably made his presence known (at least to the character), and knowing he was eventually going to appear undeniably gave the film a bit of suspense.  They didn’t do the greatest job of recreating the campsite since I couldn’t recall a single film in the franchise, but an abandoned camp is still an abandoned camp and I was fascinated regardless (I have a thing for abandoned sites).  This was a well-made fan film that was infinitely better than Vengeance; well, infinitely better may be an over-exaggeration, but I would still tell fans to choose this over Vengeance any day.  There’s even a cameo from Thom Mathews (no spoiler since you can see it in the film’s credits or his filmography), known for playing Tommy Jarvis in Friday the 13th Part VI and VII (playing the same character here, aged obviously but recognizable nonetheless) and also for The Return of the Living Dead and its sequel.  9/24/2019


Bonus reviews:


Jacob’s Ladder (2019)                                                EH/OK
Another remake?  If you’ve seen the original 1990 version, you already know the twist.  There’s a different kind of twist here though.  If you haven’t seen the original 1990 version, you might actually like this version.  What am I saying?  If you haven’t seen the original 1990 version, go watch it now!  Before this one!  The original 1990 version is a good movie.  Was this remake unnecessary?  In essence, but aren’t they all in a sense?  I’m actually kind of not saying this is entirely dismissible either.  I, myself, might’ve liked it better had I not seen the original and this was its own movie (even though I know I should always judge a movie on its own).  I mean, the cast is likable and I commend it for not using the same exact twist, and my main beef was the modern special effects (but that goes for any modern movie really).  Like I said, if you haven’t yet seen the original 1990 version, please do before watching this version.  As with any instance, I’d hate for this to be the version you see first.  I said please too!  9/24/2019



Splatter                                                                        B
This was allegedly a series (presented as a short film) released on Netflix in 2009 that only totals 29 minutes.  Corey Feldman plays a musician that kills himself and somehow returns from the dead to enact revenge on the few people attending his funeral.  It may be gory, but it’s unimpressive and basically a lame slasher movie.  I’m still surprised I never heard of it before (with all the names attached) despite not having Netflix streaming at the time.  Joe Dante directed it, Roger Corman produced it, the son of Richard Matheson wrote it (he bears the same name), and there were at least three other recognizable faces other than Corey’s.  What the hell were they all thinking with this wasted piece of celluloid?  Thankfully it was only 29 minutes, but I still wouldn’t tell you to waste your time!  9/24/2019



Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Black ’47  >>>B/EH

The Black String  >>>OK

Head Count  >>>EH

Little Woods  >>>OK

Marianne:  Season One  >>>OK/G
            (Netflix)


---Sean O.
9/26/2019

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