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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated
1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going
to review every single movie I see. I’m
going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the
rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings
for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses
under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Halloween Kills OK
For those unaware, the preceding 2018 film was intended to
be a direct sequel to John Carpenter’s 1978 original, meaning none of the
sequels to that film exist in this universe.
As for the two Rob Zombie-helmed films?
They exist entirely in their
own cinematic universe. Therefore, this
film would technically be the third entry if you ignore all the original
sequels (ironically, the masks from the original third film in the franchise
sans Michael Myers, Season of the Witch,
make an appearance here). I wasn’t
really a fan of the last Halloween
film (you can read my review for it here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/10/mooby-reviews-102818.html),
but I was willing to give this sequel a chance, as I do all films, especially
since Michael Myers is one of my favorite fictional villains, and curiosity
always gets the better of me. Part of me
did admire this film, but the other part of me, my ultimate assessment, is that
it is an average slasher at best. I
didn’t hate it, and I liked it a bit better than its predecessor, but, as
another critic generally put it, “it doesn’t make it a worthy heir to the
Michael Myers legacy despite how many kills are in it.” And seriously, in 2021 people are still
asking if someone is there in horror movies?
And the driver (the means of escape) in a car full of people is going to
exit said car, leaving everyone else unattended while investigating
something? These kinds of instances make
you, the viewer, yell mentally or verbally at how idiotic their decisions
are. And I don’t think I’d be spoiling
anything by saying Michael Myers isn’t defeated this go-around, not only
because anyone even remotely familiar with the cinematic boogeyman knows he’s
basically invincible, but because another sequel (Halloween Ends) is already confirmed to be released next year. I’m obviously going to watch Halloween Ends and maybe that will be
the best one of these entries helmed by David Gordon Green. Whatever.
I’ll believe it when I see it…10/19/2021
Slumber Party Massacre OK/G
Yet another film bitten by the remake bug! I can call myself a fan of the 1982 original;
Slumber Party Massacre II is fun as
well (there’s a decent nod to it here); Slumber
Party Massacre III I don’t like as much as the other two, but I have seen
it more than once, usually when I have a Slumber
Party Massacre marathon. This SYFY
Original could’ve been called something else, because, I mean, there isn’t much
to making an effective slasher, or a slasher film at all---characters, setting,
and kills are what ultimately sets them apart.
I’m actually surprised the original Slumber
Party Massacre isn’t discussed more amongst feminists and progressives
considering it was written and directed by women (as was this one) and features
women doing traditionally male duties (as this one did too, but it’s not so
much effective nowadays since most reasonable people understand that women can
do anything men can do, while bleeding; just don’t be one of those women that
talk the talk but don’t walk the walk though).
This one, like the original, does feature a killer named Russ Thorn wielding
a drill to off his victims. Whereas the
original took place in a suburban house though, this one takes place at a lake
house in both the past and present (mostly the present), both sexes being victims
again. The Russ Thorn character was more
creepy in the original; here, he was just weird, and he talked sometimes too (I
don’t remember him ever speaking in the original, but a re-watch could prove me
wrong). Now, was this yet another
unnecessary remake? Actually, no, I
didn’t think it was too bad. A good
portion of the kills were notable, they play around with the genre at times
without making it feel too much like a parody (more in the clever twist kind of
way), and there’s a bit more to it than Russ Thorn simply slaughtering people. In other words, it was more of a reimagining than
a direct remake. As with any remake/reimagining,
it doesn’t replace the original, which was no masterpiece to begin with (but is
fun and one of the better Eighties slashers), as this certainly isn’t one
either, but it is a worthy addition to the franchise that will likely be
watched when I have my Slumber Party
Massacre marathons. This will
probably win the ‘Worthiest Remake’ on my ‘Best and Worst Films of 2021’ list, but
there are still two months left if any other remakes want to alter that…10/20/2021
Bonus review:
Just Beyond (Season
One) EH
I had to watch this series based on graphic novels by R.L.
Stine since he is one of my all-time favorite authors. I only read the first two books in the series
(I think; I know I read at least the first one), but I don’t think any of these
eight episodes (roughly around the half-hour mark, give or take) are based on
them; I think this series only took the title.
I should’ve known it wasn’t going to be straight-up horror (even for the
kiddies) given it was shown on Disney+ and that it was labeled a drama on the
channel. This is more of a light
thriller/fantasy series for the tween age group only (maybe The Twilight Zone for the young’uns as
opposed to another Goosebumps series),
said tweens having never seen much before.
“Leave Them Kids Alone” has the typical scenario wherein a “rebellious”
girl is sent to a school in order to get set straight and said school has a
rather sinister agenda (blah, blah, blah); I did like the ending even if it was
a bit too “feel-good.” “Parents Are From
Mars, Kids Are From Venus” is a harmless alien vignette containing corny special
effects and the same corny appeal of an early Nineties TV special, and the
following episode, “Which Witch,” is like a really corny TV movie involving
teen (you guessed it) witches in high school.
“My Monster” would be the only one of these episodes you could truly
label horror and is ironically the best one; it contains a monster (nothing you
haven’t seen before) that would likely frighten the younger viewers (hell,
maybe even the older viewers).
“Unfiltered” revolves around the typical “be careful what you wish for”
theme in which an unpopular girl’s wish to be “pretty” and popular is granted
before realizing it comes with a price (blah, blah, blah); cheesy
conclusion. “We’ve Got Spirits, Yes We
Do” does contain ghosts, in a theater, but wouldn’t frighten the most timid
viewers as it is more of what the show is labeled as on Disney+…a drama. “Standing Up for Yourself” is a typical tale
involving a bully eventually getting his comeuppance, and “The Treehouse” is a
fairly standard story (meaning no surprises or anything remotely fresh) wherein
a boy is somehow able to land in a parallel dimension after being in the
titular structure during a storm. Like I
said, this will likely only appeal to tweens that haven’t seen much. I like to think I’m young at heart, but I
can’t say I was too much a fan of this unoriginal series (the intro before each
episode was better than the series as a whole), which is extremely
disappointing given that R.L. Stine and Seth Grahame-Smith (writer of Pride
and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter) were
attached somehow. I will always read and
watch pretty much anything with Stine’s name on it (as long as it’s
horror-oriented), so better luck next time if more seasons are coming…10/18/2021
Other
movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):
Bacurau >>>G
(Mostly in
Portuguese with subtitles)
Fever Dream >>>B/EH
(Netflix; In
Spanish with subtitles)
Pig (2021) >>>EH
---Sean O.
10/24/2021
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