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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated
1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going
to review every single movie I see. I’m
going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the
rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings
for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses
under the ‘About Me’ section).
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This is Gwar
Gwar was often viewed as a joke band in the metal world,
kind of like Insane Clown Posse in the rap world. Many people go to their concerts just for the
show itself, probably not always for the music alone. [If you do happen to attend one of their
concerts and are close to the stage, make sure you wear attire you don’t care
about because you will get sprayed with something]. I like some of their songs, but never truly
followed them as much as I feel I should have.
The only time I saw them live was at Warped Tour and they didn’t play
that long (as the majority of bands on that tour don’t). I remember the stage show more than the
actual music, go figure, and I witnessed a fight break out nearby, so my
attention was also on that. My first
taste of them was likely in Empire
Records back when it came out, even though I heard of them before
that. This documentary covers the band’s
beginnings in Virginia during the Eighties up to the present with all the
lineup changes and inevitable internal strife in between. My high school classmate and documentary
filmmaker, Tommy Avallone (The Bill
Murray Stories; Waldo on Weed; I Love You, You Hate Me), was one of the
producers. Like many documentaries, it
is informative at times (I learned a few things I wouldn’t have known had I not
seen this), but, also like many documentaries, it does drag at times,
especially since it’s almost 2 hours. I
would imagine only those that are fans of the band, or somewhat aware, would be
interested, but I can’t tell you what to watch; you know what you’d be getting
into and no one is forcing you to watch (needless to say). You’ll definitely get to witness the human
qualities (shockingly emotional at times) of these people behind the
costumes. 11/7/2022
The Long Night G
A New York woman that grew up in a foster home travels to
the south with her man in hopes of finding out who her real family is. The home they stay at is large with an
expanse of land in the middle of the woods (perfect setting for a horror film,
no?). The man that owns the home isn’t
there on arrival (that’s not suspicious, no?) and by nightfall, a group of people
looking like a satanic cult appear on the front lawn and just stand there for a
while. Naturally you do eventually find
out what they want. Now, as far as style
goes, this film gets an A; the aerial location shots alone are stunning to
behold and a very menacing ambiance thoroughly permeates. As for substance? There’s enough of it, I guess. It doesn’t quite feel like anything I haven’t
seen before (like the majority of modern movies, I know), but the substantial
amount of style and enough of a story (plus, it doesn’t exactly end on a
cheerful note) allow me to give it a slight recommendation. 11/8/2022
Bonus review:
The Killing Tree EH
A killer Christmas tree.
Literally. Is it asinine? Of course it is. Would you expect anything less? My expectations may not have been high, but I
did expect it to be more fun than this. A
murderer is resurrected into the festive tree by mistake. This tree now walks, talks, kills, and even
drives a car (I actually thought it was going to have sex with another tree at
one time, but no luck). I was reminded
of Jack Frost a bit, but that’s a fun
holiday horror flick with an asinine concept.
The only way you can likely have fun with this is if high or
inebriated. A scene towards the end
wherein two trees briefly duke it out almost made me chuckle (it likely
would’ve cracked me up had something been in my system). It is barely 72-minutes if you are curious
though (and free on Tubi), but what open-minded cinephile wouldn’t be? However, you can spend even less time (just
16-minutes) with another film about killer Christmas trees (yes, plural) that’s
a lot more fun entitled Treevenge (which
is available on YouTube). 11/5/2022
Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):
Dark Glasses
>>>EH/OK
(In Italian with
subtitles)
Hellbender
>>>EH/OK
(Shudder)
Motherly >>>OK
My Policeman
>>>OK
(Amazon Prime)
The Scary of Sixty-First >>>B/EH
See For Me >>>OK
Sissy >>>EH/OK
Slapface
>>>EH/OK
(Shudder)
What Josiah Saw
>>>G
(Shudder)
Who Invited Them >>>EH/OK
---Sean O.11/9/2022
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