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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated
1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going
to review every single movie I see. I’m
going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the
rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings
for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses
under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Clerks III G
Kevin Smith (Silent Bob) was one of my favorite filmmakers
at one time. I still say that he is one
of them based on his pre-Jersey Girl
oeuvre, plus Clerks II. Sure, I didn’t mind Jersey Girl, Zack and Miri
Make a Porno, Red State, and Tusk, but they felt like they could’ve
been made by other filmmakers. I hated Cop Out, Yoga Hosers, and Jay and
Silent Bob Reboot (you can check out my vitriolic reviews of Yoga in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2016/12/mooby-reviews-121316.html,
and Reboot in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/01/creepshow-season-onejay-and-silent-bob.html). In other words, Mr. Smith was in dire need of
a comeback. Clerks is definitely my favorite of his films, one of my favorite
films in general probably, and Clerks II
was a worthy follow-up; I also love the six-episode Clerks animated series that I wish had more episodes. In other words, I love this specific part of
Kevin Smith’s cinematic universe. This
threequel felt like a biopic of sorts for Mr. Smith in that it rivaled parts of
his own life, i.e. having a heart attack and making a film about working in a
convenience store (which was how Clerks
was birthed in the first place).
Sometimes it felt like a behind-the-scenes making of the first movie,
mockumentary-style (on a side note, you can check out my review of the
documentary on Kevin Smith, Clerk.,
in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/01/clerkthe-feast.html). Because of that, there are many references to
the Clerks universe, as well as other
Smith films, that only fans will pick up.
Luckily a large portion of it remained in the signature Clerks style. Now, I didn’t think it was as good as Clerks, hell, I didn’t think Clerks II was as good as its predecessor
either, but they both had a lot to live up to.
I enjoyed enough of this long-awaited film that makes a fitting end to
the franchise (I don’t think it would feel right to make another one and you’ll
understand why). I found myself laughing
out loud a couple times and the conclusion was rather poignant without feeling
sappy. In other words, I can accept this
as a comeback for Kevin after all those bombs he gave us. 12/6/2022
Bonus reviews:
Nutcracker Massacre EH/OK
What will they think of next? Sometimes, as in this instance, I wonder why
they never thought of it before. The
nutcracker in this massacre isn’t a miniature model that instantly comes to
mind, but a human-size one with two fixed faces (the typical nutcracker look
and an evil, open-mouthed one which appears when he’s doing something wicked;
you will see how he becomes sentient and what makes him evil). In a (ahem) nutshell…
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Pros---No CGI used and the design was passable; a
different weapon used each kill (i.e. candy canes, ice skate, hammer, and
another kind of nutcracker that becomes a literal definition); festive
Cons---Slow for an 86-minute movie; predictable (yes,
even for a slasher movie); obviously low-budget; some kills poorly executed;
horrible acting (I know, what should I have expected?)
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Do I recommend this?
Ehh. Not really. I don’t know.
Only if you’re curious. It is the
time of year to watch it (and something new).
It’s free too (available on Tubi).
The cons definitely outweigh the pros, but I enjoyed it more than The Killing Tree (which I reviewed not
that long ago in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/this-is-gwarthe-long-night.html). If you’re looking for a fun, cheesy holiday
horror movie to watch, I would just tell you to check out (or re-watch) Jack Frost and its sequel, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (which
are both also available on Tubi, meaning free, always). 12/3/2022
Silent Night, Bloody
Night 2: Revival EH/OK
The 1972 film, Silent
Night, Bloody Night, was never one of my favorites, as a horror film and/or
holiday one (not to be confused with Silent
Night, Deadly Night, a holiday
horror film I am a fan of). I don’t
dislike it, I saw it a couple times (even re-watching before this), and it does
contain a double axe murder that was likely edgy for its time; it’s one of
those wherein the script is better than the visual aspect. I pretty much felt the same way about this
sequel released in 2015 (I know not how it bypassed me all these years). Now, if you’ve never seen the first film
(both are available on Tubi), you might not need to before this since, much
like the first sequel to Silent Night,
Deadly Night, a large portion of it is presented in flashbacks here (you
might be able to kill two birds by just watching this one, even though the
first one is better). As for the parts
of this roughly 90-minute film that aren’t flashbacks, it’s barely average at
best, much like Silent Night, Deadly
Night Part 2. I mean, I can never go
wrong with a holiday horror movie; I just wish more effort was put forth
considering there were more resources and leniency in 2015 than 1972. If they were trying to replicate the
look/quality of the first film (which has a gritty appeal), they succeeded
there since it felt like it could’ve been made not long afterwards (not
counting the modern references, of course).
That aforementioned double axe murder (which was mostly off-screen; it
was 1972!) was better executed than the majority of violence here; one involving
a drunk Santa comes to mind the most.
The acting was horrendous here too; yes, worse than the first round. Unnecessary sequel? Well, it was made over 40 years later and
presents a large portion of its predecessor in flashback (at least all the
important parts), its predecessor not being great to begin with. It’s a shame when scripts are better than the
visual representation; these two films combined definitely make a compelling,
at times disturbing, story. Happy
horrordays! 12/5/2022
Mickey Saves Christmas B
(haiku review)
Love Disney; not this!
The look of this new short sucked!
Content was bland too.
12/4/2022
*Available on Disney+*
Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):
Amityville Christmas Vacation >>>OK
Christmas Twister >>>EH
Falling for
Christmas >>>OK
(Netflix)
Red Snow (2021) >>>OK
Troll (2022) >>>OK
(Netflix; In
Norwegian with subtitles)
---Sean O.
12/7/2022
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