The Amityville Terror OK/G
I had very low hopes for a movie with Amityville in the title not associated with the franchise. It was a horror movie through Redbox I hadn’t
seen and I had a code to use so I took a chance. It actually wasn’t too bad. The special effects people clearly don’t know
how to make a burning person look authentic.
Those fire effects were awful.
Some things actually turned out slightly different than I imagined. Still just okay. If you have a Redbox code and are unsure what
to get, why not? The only thing you’ll
end up wasting is time if you feel like you made the wrong choice. 12/7/2016
The BFG OK/G
Roald Dahl was one of my favorite authors at one point. What am I talking about? He’s always been a good writer and always
will be whether written for children or adults.
I remember liking the book this movie was based on and recalled some of
it while watching. It’s been over a
decade since I last read it (yes, I’ve read his books more than once; Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favorite books). This movie had a decent amount of fun and
lots of imagination. I’m still not quite
a fan of merging live-action with computer-generated imagery; it makes you
remember you’re watching a movie. I
don’t remember watching the animated movie (from 1989) so I can’t compare the
two. I guess I expected more being based
on a renowned late author’s novel directed by the renowned Mr. Spielberg. I will say that one part made the child in me
laugh for about three minutes. It
involved dogs and frobscottle. 12/8/2016
Jack Goes Home OK/G
Decent psychological thriller starring one of the younger
Culkin brothers. Attention-holding
despite being generic and containing an overdone twist. Perhaps if it remained tonally consistent and
shaved off a few minutes…it almost works.
12/12/2016
Kicks VG
All the unnecessary violence in this movie over a pair of
sneakers?! Goes to show that the
environment we live in can dictate how we handle such situations. This is probably the best movie in recent
memory about life in the ‘hood since Menace
II Society and Boyz n the Hood
before that. Good stuff. Compelling.
12/10/2016
The Land G
Two ‘hood movies in one blog! This time it takes place in Cleveland where
the biggest threat seems to be a biker gang controlled by a middle-aged woman
that runs a food stand. While this wasn’t
as raw as Kicks, it doesn’t mean it’s
any less real. Four skaters hope to
escape their neighborhood by being discovered by sponsors at competitions. In order for them to do that they need
money. First, they rob cars and sell
them. When one of the cars contains
drugs (owned by food stand lady) they see that as an easier way to make money. Of course things never end peachy for everyone
when the drug owner comes after those that take them. Produced (amongst many) by Nas and containing
a slightly unrecognizable Erykah Badu, the director has a promising career
ahead if this is his first feature. All
those kids wanted to do was skate. Does
it have to be so hard for people to accomplish their dreams no matter where
they come from? 12/13/2016
Pete’s Dragon OK/G
Well, this certainly isn’t as corny as the original from
memory. There’s no singing. The dragon isn’t animated amongst
live-action. It is CGI and has the ability
to become invisible. I expect dragons to
blow fire and cause death and destruction.
That’s why there’s movies like Reign
of Fire. This is a family
movie. The dragon does cause some damage
by breathing fire at one point. That
part was cool. The cinematography is
breath-taking but ultimately this is harmless fluff for all ages. 12/12/2016
The Remains OK/G
This was a decent haunted house film. The house is cool and the characters are
mostly likable. The significance of the
giant dollhouse in the hallway is never quite explained which makes me wonder
why it was even present at all. There is
no happy ending which is always welcome.
Not all movies have to end peachy-keen.
Life itself sure isn’t always. 12/7/2016
Siren G
A spinoff that’s actually good. Originally a segment in V/H/S/ featuring the titular creature. We’re presented with the origins of the
winged demon that paralyzes and kills men after singing. Usually when someone promises a better
“hotspot” that’s exclusive and located away from civilization, it doesn’t end
well. I generally enjoyed this movie
though. There’s a considerable sense of
dread. The first V/H/S/ wasn’t the best anthology to begin with. Perhaps other segments will get expansions? 12/7/2016
Yoga Hosers EH
Kevin Smith was one of my favorite directors at one
time. That was pre-Jersey Girl with the exception of Clerks II. I think Hollywood
warped his indie mentality. Jersey Girl wasn’t too bad but it still
wasn’t a signature Smith movie. Zack and Miri was decent but *see
previous comment*. Cop Out was awful. Red State was decent but Kevin clearly
wasn’t ready to make a horror movie yet.
Tusk was pretty good. I think this might be his worst yet. The two Colleens (one played by Smith’s
daughter, the other is Johnny Depp’s) who made an appearance in Tusk get their own movie here. They battle Bratzis (miniature bratwurst
Nazis filled with sauerkraut when stomped, sliced and eradicated in any
possible way) in a Canadian convenience store.
The Bratzis are quite detestable and irritating. I didn’t find them interesting one bit. Everyone in this movie seems to be juvenile
dunderheads. The blatant
“Canadian-speak” wears off quickly and got on my last nerve. I doubt any Canadian ever speaks that
way. Funny how Kevin Smith’s first movie
over 20 years ago was more mature and brilliant. If this had been his first movie, he would’ve
never had a filmmaking career. I miss those
days when he was a (fellow) Jersey independent filmmaker. I never listened to any of his
Smodcasts. My poor time management
doesn’t allow me to listen to any podcast as much as I would like to. Perhaps fans of his Smodcasts are more tailored
to this kind of movie? I sure am
not. According to the end credits, the
two Colleens will return in another movie helmed by Mr. Smith called Moose Jaws. I sure hope it’s a lot better than this,
eh? 12/7/2016
---Sean O.
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