Thursday, February 25, 2021

Wrong Turn

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Wrong Turn                                                                 G
Is this Wrong Turn 7?  Technically, if you go by release dates.  It’s being marketed as a reboot with The Foundation as an alternate subtitle.  If you’ve seen the previous six Wrong Turn movies, which I would assume you have if you made it this far, you pretty much know what to expect, right?  A group of people go into the West Virginia woods (here, it apparently takes place in Virginia) and some of them die at the hands of disfigured inbred hillbillies.  Like any slasher/body count movie, I assume one watches these films for the kills and characters, emphasis on the kills.  This film starts out somewhat how you would expect before taking a (ahem) turn in a completely different direction.  Forget this being labeled a reboot, this is almost a complete re-imagining!  You don’t even need to see the other six films to watch this one.  In fact, the slightly more sophisticated viewer would probably prefer this film over the other entries which they likely refer to as “uninspired.”  They probably could’ve gotten away with simply titling this The Foundation instead of associating it with the franchise.  It kind of had a bit more in common, at least thematically, with a certain M. Night Shyamalan film.  There is violence though for those that may be expecting it.  I’m going to recommend it for being different than envisioned and actually working for the most part (it is a bit lengthy though at almost 2 hours!), even though I may have also been a fan of the other “uninspired” entries.  Well, I liked the first one despite its predictability, and the first two sequels weren’t bad; parts 4, 5, and 6 were…whatever; I didn’t detest any of them.  Just keep your expectations low with this one, as I’d imagine you would, and you as well might end up liking it better than you thought.  It’s still no masterpiece, no, and, yes, I know, opinions are always subjective.  2/23/2021

Bonus reviews:

They Live Inside Us                                                     EH
Feature-length expansion of a segment bearing the same title from the anthology series, The Witching Season, which you can read my review for from the archives here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/10/halloween-party.html.  As you’ll see in that review, if you read it, I thought the segment in question could’ve worked as a feature film.  Unfortunately, it didn’t.  In the vignette, as well as this film, a writer enters a supposed haunted house and tries writing scripts containing horror villains.  Now, there could be both pros and cons when expanding a story.  The biggest con here was the unnecessary filler---the protagonist endlessly searching the house, taking care of his daughter, etc.  Roughly the same amount of time is spent here on the “scripts coming to life” scenes as in the series; the segment was roughly a half hour and this film was a little over 100-minutes; that’s a lot of extra filler, which was, as I said, unnecessary, in my honest opinion.  Just watch The Witching Season, if you haven’t already, which contains four other segments in addition to the much-condensed version of this and will take up less of your time; it’s still available on Tubi (meaning free).  2/23/2021

Behind Her Eyes                                                         G
I gave in to viewing this 6-episode English mini-series available on Netflix after reading a recommendation from someone at Entertainment Weekly.  In it, a young single-parent begins having an affair with her new boss while also secretly hanging out with his wife.  You can probably deduce that will all lead to drama.  In that aforementioned article from EW, I was informed there was more to the story than that basic premise and I can assure you there is.  The series, each episode roughly around the 50-minute mark, is engaging for the most part, always making you sense there is indeed more to the story that will eventually be revealed.  I can say everything is tied up neatly by the conclusion and can’t say it was disappointing, although I was reminded of at least one film which I won’t disclose lest I reveal too much.  Decent time-killer, hopefully remaining just a one-part mini-series, for those looking to watch something of the psychological thriller sort.  2/24/2021

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Horizon Line  >>>OK/G

I Care a Lot  >>>OK
   (Netflix)

Kajillionaire  >>>B

Nomadland  >>>OK

Shadow in the Cloud  >>>OK

The Sister (season one)  >>>OK
   (Hulu; 4 episodes)

---Sean O.
2/25/2021

Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Aquaslash/Butt Boy

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Aquaslash                                                                    OK/G
A graduating class spends the weekend at a water park.  After a passable double-murder in the beginning, not much happens for a while other than people fighting and doing typical slasher/body count movie stuff, or just teen movie stuff.  It’s worth the wait for gorehounds once the water slide death occurs, because I’m not exaggerating when I say it is very gory!  The acting may not be the greatest at times, but what do you expect for this type of movie, entitled Aquaslash no less?  And it’s barely over an hour, so I’m going to recommend it for the indiscriminate horror fan, especially when it comes to slasher/body count movies.  2/13/2021

Butt Boy
The title isn’t exactly a play on words.  Whereas Swallow dealt with a female character ingesting items not meant for consumption, this film involves a man sticking items (ranging from a remote control to a dog to children…yeah) up his rear end after a doctor’s visit.  He is seemingly heterosexual too for all you homophobes making assumptions.  We eventually learn more about what his booty can do too!  This film definitely exists in another universe.  It’s not surreal in the David Lynch sense, no, it’s very straightforward and won’t make you feel like a grenade went off in your noggin, but it will make you say WTF at times.  I didn’t expect what ultimately befalls the eponymous character either (hint---it ain’t pretty).  I didn’t rate this because I’m not entirely sure who the target audience would be.  It is strangely compelling, I can’t deny that, and not quite like anything I’ve seen before, but I’d still feel too weird outright recommending it.  That doesn’t mean I’m dismissing it either for those that may be curious…2/13/2021

Bonus review:

Triggered                                                                    OK
(haiku review)
Woods.  Reunion.  Bombs.
Kind of like Battle Royale.
Bloody but vapid.  2/15/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Don’t Go (2018)  >>>EH

Fear of Rain  >>>OK

Into the Dark:  Tentacles  >>>EH/OK
            (Hulu)

Kindred  >>>EH

Paintball Massacre  >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.
2/17/2021

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Freaky

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Freaky                                                                         OK/G
Imagine Freaky Friday with a body count.  I’m surprised it hasn’t been done before this.  The director, Christopher Landon, also gave us Happy Death Day, which imagined Groundhog Day with a body count; he was also behind the sequel, Happy Death Day 2U, the fifth Paranormal Activity (The Marked Ones), and Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse.  Whereas all four Freaky Friday films dealt with a mother and daughter switching bodies, this film has a teenage girl in high school switch bodies with a middle-aged male serial killer (played by Vince Vaughn).  The Hot Chick this is not.  Well, kind of…with a body count.  Some of the kills here are top-notch, particularly one involving a table saw and the deaths in the beginning, one of them giving a particular kill in Sorority Row a run for its money; there’s also a kill that may give a specific death in Jason X a run for its money, or at least rival it, or, in the very least, remind you of it.  On the topic of the kills, my only complaint with this film would be there weren’t enough of them.  Call me picky, or chalk it up to my expectations being a bit too high, but I felt there were instances where more kills could’ve been utilized.  Although I may have been a bit disappointed in that regard, I’ll still recommend it, especially for those of you that find the Freaky Fridays and The Hot Chicks fun and/or funny, but feel that some violence might make them a bit more fun!  2/12/2021

Bonus reviews:

Books of Blood                                                            G
Anthology film available on Hulu containing three tales based on short stories by Clive Barker (Candyman, Hellraiser, The Midnight Meat Train, Lord of Illusions).  Well, at least two of the three are.  Ironically, the one not based on one of his works was the best one; it involves a bed and breakfast run by a couple with a rather twisted agenda which I didn’t figure out.  One story is based off “The Book of Blood (involving a man falsely claiming to communicate with the dead somehow),” which I re-read the short story for afterwards (yes, instead of before; it’s only a mere 11 pages) and another film was made in 2009 (Clive Barker’s Book of Blood) based off the same tale (that’s a film I know I saw but can’t remember a single thing about it; my archives tell me I gave it 3 out of 4 stars when I did star ratings, so maybe a re-watch is in store).  The adaptation here was decent, containing a comeuppance faithful to the written story that wouldn’t feel out of place in a Tales from the Crypt episode.  The remaining tale is based off “On Jerusalem Street,” which I have not read because it’s not in my owned collection.  We get a glimpse of the piece in the beginning (involving two men traveling to a seedy town in order to retrieve a book worth money) before it concludes by tying in with the other two tales, and let’s just say things don’t work out so well for the two characters (which you’ll notice ahead of time in one of the other tales).  Overall, I wouldn’t label this collection superb, but I didn’t dislike any of the segments and I enjoyed it enough to recommend.  2/10/2021

Bad Hair                                                                     EH/OK
The setting is Los Angeles, 1989.  A black woman gets a weave, a.k.a. hair extensions using someone else’s hair, after a recommendation (more of a hint) by her new boss.  If this film is any indication, a weave looks fucking painful to get.  I know representation is representation, and I certainly can’t speak for black women, but I’m not sure this is the best film to be proud of for representation.  In true cheesy horror fashion, like a decent amount of films from the era it takes place in, this Hulu film is completely asinine.  Hair, of the weave variety, has a life of its own and a taste for blood.  Yes, you read that right.  I can’t recommend this film, as my rating indicates, but, at the same time, I kind of am (hence the partial OK rating) because you should see it at least once just to say you did (I guess).  Plus, I don’t recall ever seeing the extremely inane concept done before, so I give it a little credit for that, much like you kind of have to laud Rubber for being the first film featuring a killer tire (regardless of how you felt about it)!  2/10/2021

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Carrion  >>>B/EH

The Cleanse  >>>OK

Greenland  >>>OK/G

Happiest Season  >>>OK
        (Hulu)

The Other Lamb  >>>EH/OK

Out of Blue  >>>EH/OK

The Unsettling (Season One)  >>>OK/G
    (8 episodes; available on Netflix)

Wander  >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.
2/13/2021

Sunday, February 7, 2021

Sputnik/Disappearance at Clifton Hill

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Sputnik                                                                                    G
The setting is Russia, 1983 (yes, that means subtitles if you don’t know Russian).  Two men just returned from space and something has returned with them, inside one of them (luckily the story is only in space for the first five minutes; I’m not the biggest fan of space-set narratives).  One man didn’t survive, the other is kept under scrutiny in a facility wherein an alien being emerges from his mouth the same time each night for roughly the same amount of time before re-entering.  The creature design is fine, nothing spectacular, a bit insectile, and wouldn’t feel out of place in Stranger Things.  The film may be horrific on occasion, in both violence and content, but it’s more of a sci-fi flick that incorporates somewhat of a romance over time.  It never felt sappy when veering towards that aspect though, and unlike The Shape of Water, this felt a bit more fresh, although, yeah, I may have been reminded of films like Alien and Species at times.  I didn’t think this film was excellent, but I enjoyed it enough to suggest a peek.  2/4/2021

Disappearance at Clifton Hill                                     OK/G
This was, for the most part, an intriguing mystery taking place in Niagara Falls.  I thought all the loose ends were tied up before the very end added another mystery to the whole proceedings.  I looked for spoilers online to see if some minor detail simply went over my head or to get a straight answer, but no site claiming to have spoilers was any help.  I hate when movies/shows are good until the end is either unsatisfying or I’m unable to devise my own acceptable conclusion.  It’s probably not as complex as I made it out to be, and I may have proposed a correct answer after some pondering, but, damn it, I don’t like being toyed with!  2/4/2021

Bonus review:

Centigrade                                                                  G
A couple, I’m guessing American, are traveling in Norway for a book tour before ending up trapped in their car after pulling over during a freezing rain storm the night before.  The woman is pregnant and I really don’t know why they decided to travel so far in her pregnancy, but no one can foresee being trapped in a car covered in ice and snow either.  The car is so covered you wouldn’t be able to know it was there while driving by or flying overhead.  As you can guess, this creates quite the predicament.  They only have a limited amount of food and water, one of their phones works for about a minute to no avail, they are able to use candles for light and they do have seemingly enough blankets, but eventually it will get colder, the food/drinks will run out, and remember that pregnancy I mentioned?  Not too much happens in the general sense, but given the use of one very confined location for roughly 99% of the time and the fact the idea is rather frightening in theory and could very well happen (allegedly it is based on fact, but isn’t everything anymore?), however unforeseen (as in most survival instances), I’m going to give it a mild recommendation for somewhat managing to work situationally.  2/4/2021

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Black Ops  >>>EH

Extracurricular  >>>OK

Minding the Gap  >>>G

Monsterland (Season One)  >>>OK
            (Hulu; 8 episodes)

Palm Springs  >>>OK/G
            (Hulu)

Run (2020)  >>>OK
            (Hulu)

Spree  >>>OK/G

Valley Girl (2020)  >>>OK

---Sean O.
2/7/2021

Monday, February 1, 2021

Slayer: The Repentless Killogy

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Slayer:  The Repentless Killogy
It is probably an unwritten rule that one can’t truly call themselves a metalhead if they don’t like Slayer; at least once in their lifetime.  They never did become sellouts (like Metallica, Megadeth, and countless others) from their arrival in the early Eighties until their last album in 2015 (Repentless).  You pretty much know what to expect when you listen to a Slayer album.  This film, or music video/concert film more appropriately, is strictly for Slayer fans only.  If you don’t like Slayer, you will not enjoy this “film” at all.  The first third does contain a revenge narrative, based on a three-issue comic book of the same name (which I do own and was somewhat reminded of while watching), accompanied by Slayer performing songs off the Repentless album.  Basically it’s more than one music video in which the music complements the narrative instead of vice versa.  It is violent, for those that may care either way (did you expect anything less with Slayer’s name attached?), and there are a few recognizable genre faces (Danny Trejo, Bill Moseley, Derek Mears, etc.) contained within.  For the remaining two-thirds of the 2-hour and 10-minute feature, you are treated to an entire Slayer concert that occurred at the Los Angeles Forum in 2017.  By entire concert, I mean that literally---from the moment the band enters the stage to when they exit after the last song.  For those that have never seen Slayer and would’ve liked to, this may be a good thing (they allegedly did their farewell tour before Covid times, but I never believe bands when they say that).  No, it’s not the same experience as actually being there physically, but it may be the next best thing.  I, personally, prefer seeing concerts on TV sometimes, because that way I can control the volume how I see fit, don’t have to worry about crowds, and I have a better view of the concert itself, a more omniscient view, if you will.  As for how their performance was in this film?  There were times when the sound quality was poor, but that could be the platform I was viewing it on, and there were times I got bored if I wasn’t a fan of a certain song (although that’s not much different than actually being in attendance), but, for the most part, I enjoyed seeing the band perform some of their thrash metal hits to an energetic crowd (as inevitable at metal shows) in the comfort of my own home.  I physically saw Slayer in concert at least 2 or 3 times, but I’ve been a fan of the band for over 20 years now.  I didn’t give this a rating, because, like I said, it is strictly for Slayer fans only and even they may not be satisfied with just seeing a 40-minute music video/revenge film and a 90-minute concert.  So, to Slayer fans, if you plan on watching this, just go in it for the music and expect not much more.  1/29/2021

Bonus review:

Salt-N-Pepa
Biopic recently released on Lifetime covering from when the female rapping duo met in 1985 to a live performance in 2005 in which they were honored by VH1.  I think it’s safe to say that Cheryl (Salt) and Sandy (Pepa) are pioneers, considering it was pretty much unheard of for women to be rappers in the Eighties; ironically, they never intended to be rappers initially (which you’ll see if and when you watch).  I can’t necessarily say I’m a fan of the group, but I don’t dislike them either (“Push It” is a catchy song).  I remember when their single, “Let’s Talk About Sex,” first came out, and when they made an appearance in the John Ritter film, Stay Tuned (“Start Me Up”).  Regardless of how you feel about them, you can’t deny their presence in pop culture, especially if you’re aware of the music industry at large.  Other popular hits have included “Shoop” and “Whatta Man.”  I’m always interested in watching biopics and I was curious about the story behind the “queens of hip-hop,” especially since I knew very little besides the music beforehand.  Like many biopics, parts did feel rushed (even at a little over 2 hours) and the typical assortment of elements are included (creative control issues, internal strife, bad relationships, life meditations, etc.), but I did learn more than I knew prior (regardless of how much truth there was to it all, like usual) and I don’t really remember being bored.  Plus, Mario Van Peebles, an actor/director with many credits to his name, helmed it and the real Salt-N-Pepa were executive producers, so there has to be enough credibility to it, no?  1/31/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Come Play  >>>EH

Cruel Summer  >>>OK/G

Warda  >>>EH/OK
    (In Arabic with subtitles)

---Sean O.
2/1/2021