I Like Moobies: 2020

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Soul

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Soul G/VG

Welcome back, Pixar! The last movie I really liked from the studio was Inside Out from 2015 and before that it was Toy Story 3 from 2010. Yes, I have liked some entries in between, but none I can call great. Besides the two I mentioned, Pixar’s best include Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Ratatouille. It might be premature to say so, but I think this latest offering could be added to that list. It is currently available on Disney+ for no additional cost. In it, a middle-aged music teacher ends up heading towards “The Great Beyond” after an accident, but somehow evades it and ends up in “The Great Before”---a place where “souls” are given personalities before entering Earth. All the teacher, who desires being a musician above all, wants is another chance at a life he feels was unfulfilled and somewhat gets that chance while learning more along the way (as characters in these films often do). This film is amazing to behold at times, imaginative at that, and manages to be thoroughly entertaining (with representation to boot); it’s funny sometimes too. The ultimate message may go over the younger set’s heads, but they can absolutely still watch it while their parents/elders can enjoy it as well (as this is arguably more for the adults). Come awards season, I won’t be surprised if this snags a few wins (maybe even disappointed if otherwise). 12/26/2020

Bonus review:

Making and Unmaking

Shaun Rose reached out to me a while ago on social media about checking out his film, Upstate Story, and writing a review for it (you can check it out in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). We have since become friends on social media, which is where I was informed of this new documentary available on YouTube (as is Upstate Story; links provided below). I’m always asked via social media to review films and am usually up to the task, but I often don’t like the films I’m asked to watch and I always tell the filmmaker(s) I’ll be completely honest before going through with it. Upstate Story was one I actually liked, it being an entertaining slice-of-life/realist picture that I feel deserved more exposure. I do suggest you watch Upstate Story (and hopefully you’ll like it) before checking this out, not only because it references that film a bit, but also because why would you care about seeing a documentary on an independent filmmaker you know nothing about? This makes a good companion piece to that film, both being roughly an hour, making it a 2-hour double feature, and I’m sure you’ve wasted the same amount of time (or more) watching worse. It chronicles mostly the endurance of making Upstate Story as well as other projects the multi-hyphenate Shaun, who exhibits the demeanor of a serious filmmaker while also having a sense of humor, worked on to no avail. Mr. Rose, I have a feeling you could be on to bigger and greater things with the right budget and/or distributor. In the meantime, you all can possibly help make that happen by checking out his two films and spreading the word! 12/20/2020

Upstate Story: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_klJBcnORZo]

Making and Unmaking: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRKftjb-jKM]

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Call (2020) >>>OK

(Netflix; In Korean with subtitles)

The Haunting of Margam Castle >>>B

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey >>>EH/OK

(Netflix)

The Midnight Sky >>>EH

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

12/27/2020

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Possessor

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Possessor OK/G

Brandon Cronenberg’s daddy, David Cronenberg, is a renowned Canadian filmmaker that gave us films like Shivers, Rabid, The Brood, Scanners, The Dead Zone, The Fly, and even ones like Spider, A History of Violence, and Eastern Promises. I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of David, but I’ve seen enough of his work and liked some of them. Brandon gave us Antiviral before this one. I wasn’t a fan of that film, enough for it to land on my worst films list the year it came out. This sophomore feature from Brandon, in a nutshell, involves a company that allows you, via technology of some sort, to literally become someone else in order to assassinate a specific target. After the task is completed, the “possessor” is able to return back to their body attached to machinery. Naturally, things don’t go smoothly for one task and that complicates everything. This is an intriguing film, for sure, violent too, but it might be perplexing as well for likely a large percentage of the viewing population (I read up on it afterwards and actually grasped most of what I saw), and I feel there may be more to this world than we were presented with because it didn’t seem entirely over when it ended. That’s why I can’t fully recommend it, or at least give it a strictly G rating, because I kind of do recommend it in a sense (it’s a whole lot better than Brandon’s debut feature, that’s for sure). I would actually welcome a sequel in order to make it possibly feel more part of a whole. Or perhaps I just need another viewing? I’m willing to hear any opinions (I already read enough mostly objective articles in publications). 12/17/2020

Bonus review:

Blood from Stone EH/OK

(haiku review)

Vamps in Las Vegas.

They meet people, then kill them.

Bloody, sure, but lame. 12/17/2020

*Currently available on Amazon Prime and Tubi*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Christmas Crossfire >>>EH

(Netflix; In German with subtitles)

The Christmas Project >>>OK

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish >>>EH/OK

Holiday Hell >>>OK

Radioflash >>>OK

Widow’s Point >>>OK

---Sean O.

12/19/2020

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Fatman

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Fatman OK

Mel Gibson as Santa Claus? It’s not quite like a Santa Claus you would expect though. For starters, he lives in a town called North Peak (not Pole), works with the military, and can’t afford to pay his power bill. A hitman, played by Walton Goggins (Vice Principals), is hired by a spoiled rich kid to take the “fat man” out. The film did start off a bit promising, but it doesn’t really entail much and doesn’t altogether feel like a “holiday” film even though it is. 12/13/2020

Bonus reviews:

Max Winslow and the House of Secrets OK/G

Five teenagers from a high school in Arkansas are chosen to play a game in a “futuristic” mansion and the winner gets the mansion. It may sound a bit like Willy Wonka/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but not quite. The house does have a mind of its own, not in the haunted sense, but in the technological/I-control-everything sense. The five players must overcome certain “obstacles” in regards to why they were all chosen in the first place. It may have been a bit of fun, but it could’ve gone to darker places than it did (although it is only rated-PG), and, ultimately, it ended a bit too sappily (meaning positively and/or clichéd) for my tastes; of course taste is subjective and mine differ from many others though. 12/13/2020

Bobbleheads: The Movie OK

(haiku review)

Not quite Toy Story.

Obviously wants to be.

It’s fine though…I guess. 12/10/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Clownface >>>B

Don’t Let Them In >>>EH

Just Another Christmas >>>OK/G

(Netflix; In Brazilian Portuguese with subtitles)

Noelle (2019) >>>OK

Rabbit (2018) >>>EH/OK

Smiley Face Killers >>>EH

---Sean O.

12/15/2020

Sunday, December 6, 2020

Deathcember

Deathcember OK

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again---I love horror films and anthology films and Christmas films, so I had to see this new one that is all three. This isn’t A Christmas Horror Story anthology though, this is an ABCs of Death anthology. You are aware of Advent calendars, no? If not, they consist of little doors to be opened every day from December 1^st through Christmas and traditionally contain chocolates in them. This anthology film takes the approach of such a calendar and contains 24 stories totaling almost 2 ½ hours, meaning each one is roughly 5 or 6 minutes (give or take; I didn’t keep track of how long each one was), plus there are 2 extra tales during the end credits (hint---don’t turn it off when the credits start). Oh, and there’s just as many segments with subtitles as ones without since filmmakers from all over the world contributed, just to let you know. Now, as much as I love short stories, both written and visual, I still like them to be long enough in order for me to be engaged, and these brief vignettes, much like the latter aforementioned anthology film, don’t allow me to do that. I was still interested in what kind of stories were going to be told in such scant time though. I think I only counted three segments I hated, many of them were just okay (“Life is too short to see movies that are just okay,” as Roger Ebert once said, and, yes, that applies to short films too), even one helmed by Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust) wasn’t that great, and another one helmed by Lucky McKee (May) ended too soon (yes, even for a brief anthology segment); one was a rather unsuccessful homage to Reservoir Dogs. A few that stood out are ones that involved dolls (“Santa Is Coming”), a killer reindeer (“They Used to Laugh and Call Him Names”), girls killing Santa (“Kill Santa”), a giallo-influenced slasher (“Five Deaths in Blood Red”), “Santa” granting a kid’s wishes (“Milk and Cookies”), and a guy that is “Getting Away from It All.” I wasn’t the biggest fan of this film in the general sense, but if you’re a fan of horror films and anthology films and Christmas films, there might be something you like in this collection. 12/4/2020

---Sean O.

12/6/2020

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Downrange/The Christmas Chronicles 2

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Downrange OK/G

This was recently released on DVD but originally released at least 2 years ago and is (was) a Shudder exclusive. It was directed by Japanese filmmaker, Ryûhei Kitamura, who also gave us Versus, The Midnight Meat Train, and a segment in Nightmare Cinema. It involves a group of people (3 men, 3 women) driving on a desolate road in (I’m assuming) California before one of their tires is shot by a gunman hiding in a tree nearby. They then become sitting ducks as they’re periodically shot at while trying to hide the best they can (mainly behind the car). The use of a single location does actually end up working, it does get violent more than enough times, and I do want to recommend it solely on the fact it’s generally a brutal film with no happy ending, but it does overstay its welcome a bit at almost 90-minutes (which is why I’m not giving it a strictly G rating). 12/1/2020

The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two OK

The first one was a decent holiday film released 2 years ago on Netflix (you can read my review for it in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com---and this sequel is also available on the streaming platform). Chris Columbus directed as well as produced (the first time he only produced), he also being behind the holiday classics, Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, as well as the original Adventures in Babysitting and Mrs. Doubtfire, among others. The same family returns, as well as Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn as Mr. and Mrs. Claus, in addition to more characters (as is common in many sequels). This time, much like the first time (although this one has a different feel to it), something happens that might stop Christmas from coming and some of the characters must work to overcome this hindrance. It may not necessarily be an unnecessary sequel, and it did manage to avoid being super corny (although it may have come across that way at times), but it still suffers from sequel-itis, namely, not as good as its predecessor and likely forgettable. Still not that bad for a sequel though, especially a Netflix movie. 11/29/2020

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Amulet >>>EH

The Holiday Movies that Made Us

Ep. 1 (Elf) >>>OK

Ep. 2 (The Nightmare Before Christmas) >>>G

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

12/3/2020

Friday, November 27, 2020

The Witches

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The Witches EH/OK

I recently re-read the book of the same name by Roald Dahl (one of my favorite authors) and re-watched the original 1990 movie upon seeing this remake’s release (currently available on HBO Max) which actually has the author’s name atop the title. This time, Robert Zemeckis, helmer of films such as Who Framed Roger Rabbit, all 3 Back to the Futures, Death Becomes Her, Forrest Gump, and What Lies Beneath, directed, produced, and co-wrote it with Guillermo del Toro (he also co-produced this), famous for giving us Hellboy, The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth, and Crimson Peak. The original film, directed by Nicolas Roeg and starring Anjelica Huston as the Grand High Witch (here, Anne Hathaway has the role), was largely faithful to the Roald Dahl story with just a few things altered. This film is largely like the original film with some things altered here and there, the location moving from Europe (Norway and England) to the States (Alabama) and the main characters race changed (which is good for representation) being prominent ones. The modern special effects here (meaning obvious CGI) don’t hold a candle to the practical ones used in the 1990 film, as is often the case. I didn’t exactly hate this film, but it is an unnecessary remake, yes, and I expected better from the talent involved. 11/22/2020

Bonus reviews:

Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula OK

The zombie subgenre was dead (pun intended) long before The Walking Dead premiered ten years ago. Naturally, there are passable entries every so often and Train to Busan, released 4 years ago, was actually one of them (you can read my brief review for it in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). You don’t even need to see the first film to watch this in-name only sequel (with the same director); just know a virus spread in Korea that turned people into zombies, which is explained in the beginning of this film anyway. Yes, it’s in Korean like the first film, so that does mean subtitles (even during the few parts spoken in English). It takes place four years after the events of the first film (just like the releases) and involves refugees living in Hong Kong tasked with going back to Korea in order to obtain a truck containing cash with promises of them all getting a cut when returned. This seemed to take a George A. Romero approach, Dawn and Land of the Dead came to mind the most, as well as that of a Mad Max-type film, meaning it wasn’t too original (I know, what really is these days?). It may be an unnecessary sequel, but it wasn’t a terrible movie on its own, just okay; but like the late Roger Ebert once said, “Life is too short to see movies that are just okay.” Also, being that it’s almost 2 hours, I became a bit impatient towards the end. Fans of Train to Busan are obviously going to be curious, but those that haven’t seen either film, I unquestionably recommend the first one over this one. 11/24/2020

Home Alone: The Holiday Heist OK/G

Home Alone 5. I knew not of a fifth entry until someone received the box set at a Christmas party a couple years ago. It came out at the end of 2012 and how did I not hear about it? There was no sixth film released yet (I did make sure), but there is one that will eventually be released on Disney+. They have starred different characters/performers each time since part 3, which was still a decent entry, and I don’t remember much about part 4, so it couldn’t have been that worthy (although a re-watch may be in the near future as my box set contains 1-4). This entry wasn’t as good as Home Alone 1 and 2, nor did I expect it to be (as I did parts 3 and 4), but it was actually better than I thought it would be. There were a few times I laughed out loud, there were some mildly passable homages to the first film, and there were some slightly clever ways of associating the robbers (one played by Malcolm McDowell) with ghosts. Decent enough to get in the holiday spirit. 11/25/2020

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Coyote Lake >>>G

Deerskin >>>OK

Lovecraft Country (Season 1) >>>OK

The Secrets We Keep >>>OK

---Sean O.

11/27/2020

Monday, November 23, 2020

The Wolf of Snow Hollow

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The Wolf of Snow Hollow OK/G

[POTENTIAL SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW]

Werewolves are a significant part of the horror genre, but there don’t seem to be enough movies featuring them; enough good ones is what I should probably say, because there’re probably a whole bunch of them I haven’t seen nor know about. Some of the good ones that come to mind are An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, Ginger Snaps (plus its sequel and prequel), Dog Soldiers, Silver Bullet, and I’ll even mention Wes Craven’s Cursed for being so-bad-it’s-fun. [The Sticks by Andy Deane, singer of Bella Morte, is a good werewolf book for those that may care; I think it would make a good adaptation]. This film involves a small town in Utah (Snow Hollow maybe?) dealing with several deaths purportedly caused by a werewolf. The werewolf is practical, really a man in a suit, but that beats CGI any day for this critic/horror fan. The humor throughout may not always work, but it never feels out of place either, this very much being a horror-comedy wherein neither genre cancels the other out. There is a twist at the end, I kind of gave it away already, making it a different movie than initially thought, but not in a way to completely ruin what came before. I doubt this will become a classic (I could be wrong though), but it’s decent for the time being; not too long either. 11/20/2020

Bonus reviews:

Alien Xmas G

The Chiodo Brothers are most famous for giving us Killer Klowns from Outer Space, but they were also involved in Critters 1-4, Ernest Scared Stupid (you’ll notice some of the clowns from Killer Klowns transformed into trolls if you pay attention), and parts of Elf and Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. This new stop-motion animated film available on Netflix is based on a book of the same name co-authored by Stephen Chiodo (also the director here; his brothers were involved in other ways). It involves aliens, looking exactly how one would generally envision them (pointy chin, round dome, black eyes), planning on stealing everything from Earth after building a machine enabling them to do so. An alien named X is sent to complete this mission (at the North Pole) and I probably don’t have to tell you it becomes a bit cutesy by the end. Isn’t that what the holidays are all about though? Blah, blah, blah. I still enjoyed it, because it’s aliens man!!! And it’s a Christmas movie! And it’s nice to look at! Plus it’s barely even 40-minutes. 11/22/2020

If Anything Happens I Love You G

(haiku review)

Animated short.

Images, no dialogue.

Potent 12-minutes. 11/21/2020

*[Currently available on Netflix]*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The App That Stole Christmas >>>OK

(Netflix)

My Summer as a Goth >>>OK/G

Relic >>>OK

---Sean O.

11/23/2020

Friday, November 20, 2020

Growing Up with I Spit on Your Grave/Mulan

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Growing Up with I Spit on Your Grave G

I Spit on Your Grave. That controversial and divisive film from 1978 directed by Meir Zarchi. I, personally, think it’s a feminist film, but that’s where the divisive description comes in since others feel it is misogynistic and exploitative. It is a very disturbing film dealing with reprehensible subject matter, but it’s one of those disturbing films I’ve visited several times. You can read my review for the original film, the remake (which was actually decent), and both sequels to the remake here (https://vampireclown82-2.blogspot.com/2017/09/i-spit-on-my-blog.html), as well as the sequel to the original, Déjà Vu, in the archives (www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). This documentary on the original film is helmed by the director’s son, Terry Zarchi, who made an appearance as the young kid at the gas station in the film. Everything from the film’s inspiration and how scenes were filmed are discussed via talking heads, including Meir, the star Camille Keaton, and two of the film’s villains (the other two are M.I.A. and it’s briefly explained why). Also included are viewpoints from its detractors and admirers, such as the late film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert who became famous for panning the film deeply (which also brought it more attention) and a girl that was raped herself shortly before watching it and ended up connecting with it. I don’t think anyone that isn’t mildly a fan of the film in question will have any interest in this documentary. I suggest you at least watch the original film (if you haven’t already) before checking this out though, but I think many can agree with me in saying it’s not exactly a film you watch for fun and isn’t for everybody…11/18/2020

Mulan OK

Well, I didn’t dislike it like I did the majority of live-action Disney remakes released in the last couple years, even the one helmed by Tim Burton, one of my favorite directors. Gone is the super catchy, ultra-conservative, anti-non-binary tune, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You,” as are all musical numbers, but its potent message of female empowerment remains (Mulan is one that actually walks the walk). Being this is 115-minutes and the 1998 animated film was only 88, a few things were added here and it did feel a bit longer than it should’ve been; it’s rated PG-13 too, so there is violence, but I don’t recall any of it being bloody. The film does look great, most big-budget action films tend to, but I still prefer the animated version. 11/17/2020

Bonus reviews:

Eli Roth’s History of Horror (Season 2)

Horror filmmaker Eli Roth returns as the narrator for this second season documentary series covering the horror film genre. There are six episodes this time as opposed to seven last time and they’re all a little over 40-minutes without the commercials. Oh, and just a heads up, it is assumed you’ve seen all the movies discussed (like last season), so I suggest you fast-forward or stop and watch said movie if you don’t want any spoilers! Here are some (ahem, many) of the things I said in my season one review that also apply to this season, which you can read the rest of in the archives (www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com)---[documentary series on AMC…hosted by filmmaker Eli Roth featuring other filmmakers and actors in the horror genre talking about and giving their personal opinions on specific films…While the films discussed and analyses given are absolutely nothing I haven’t heard or read before, it’s still fun to see different people talk about them, especially if you’re a fan of any of the talking heads or have a general interest in the subject matter (like I obviously do)…I do think there could’ve been more than seven episodes (they obviously didn’t cover the entire genre), but perhaps I’m getting too far ahead of myself and more are planned?]. While it may always be enjoyable discussing entertainment you share in common with others, or even watching it be discussed (which is the visual equivalent), I didn’t seem to enjoy this season in its entirety as much as last season, even though it generally had my full attention, as it should any horror fan, or even film fan. It might be that two of the episodes (“Monsters” and “Body Horror”) covered films I’m not particularly a fan of; “Monsters” is a very vague term to begin with, especially in the horror genre. The other episodes included “Houses of Hell,” “Witches,” “Chilling Children,” and “Nine Nightmares.” It was refreshing to see witches included since they don’t have many films (at least in the horror genre). The “Houses of Hell” segment didn’t only include haunted houses, but houses that contained evil within (House of 1000 Corpses being an example). “Nine Nightmares” covered films that allegedly pushed boundaries and leave it to good ol’ Eli Roth to include films like Pieces and Cannibal Holocaust. And perhaps they may have pushed boundaries, but I think countless other titles could’ve been included besides Midsommar and Jordan Peele’s Us since they’re still fairly recent. This season’s existence certainly answered my question from last season’s review in that I was getting too far ahead of myself. I wonder if more seasons are planned (as of yet, there’s no news), because even though subgenres may have been covered, there are definitely more films that can be discussed. I love horror, like Eli Roth, so I’ll definitely keep tuning in until every single thing in the genre is covered! 11/16/2020

Killer Clowns EH/OK

Anyone that knows me knows I love them. The title is as straightforward as it gets; this barely hour-long documentary details the history of clowns as well as some of the ones in cinema and reality. Films like Stephen King’s It, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Terrifier, and Wrinkles the Clown are covered, but instead of showing clips or photos of the actual films, we’re given substitute images, making this come off as unprofessional and cheaply-made (I did actually learn something new about Killer Klowns in regards to the title though). I mean, they did show one real picture of serial killer John Wayne Gacy, so why couldn’t images/clips from those aforementioned films be utilized? And why weren’t there any talking heads? I think I would’ve preferred just reading the same information. This definitely isn’t the definitive documentary on the subject, but it won’t take up too much of your time and is currently available on Tubi (meaning free). 11/18/2020

Dash & Lily (Season 1) G

I’m a sucker for Christmas movies. Not just horror ones either, and not necessarily those Lifetime/Hallmark Channel ones that are all the same with different performers and locations (although I do watch them too if I’m in the mood for something season-y). I gave this new Netflix series a chance after seeing it was only 8 episodes totaling a little over 3 hours (the longest episode is 27-minutes). Mind you, the Christmas aspect is the only thing that drew me in as I’m not the biggest fan of romantic comedies, although I do like some. In it, the titular characters (Dash generally being a loner that hates Christmas, Lily being the opposite) write dares to each other in a red notebook, leaving it in various locations in New York City for the other to retrieve. This is all before they actually meet in person, similar to being pen pals or Instant Messenger buddies. Sure, it ends pretty much how you know it will, but it manages to be engaging enough during its run. Sigh, I’m going to recommend it. I hate myself…11/18/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Camp Cold Brook >>>EH

Uncle Peckerhead >>>OK

Unhinged >>>OK

---Sean O.

11/20/2020

Monday, November 16, 2020

Bill & Ted Face the Music

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Bill & Ted Face the Music G

I can say I’m a fan of Bill & Ted. I like the first two films, Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey, the latter being my favorite of the two despite many disagreeing with me; hey, I thought Bogus Journey had one of the best cinematic representations of Hell I’ve seen, but Excellent Adventure did contain a song I’m a big fan of (“In Time” by Robbie Robb). I’ve seen some of the animated series that was made, and apparently there was a short-lived live-action series in 1992 I knew not about, and it could be because Ted “Theodore” Logan and Bill S. Preston Esquire weren’t played by Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter. I remember wanting a toy phone booth with both characters I saw attached to a cereal box during the early Nineties; I didn’t get it, but I think I’ve proven I’ve been a fan of the fictional duo. This third film was released almost 30 years after the previous one (Bogus Journey), 29 to be exact, and luckily it wasn’t a remake or a reboot (Kevin Smith’s last film was such a disappointment). Now, my expectations were a combination of high and low for this threequel; low, being it’s a Bill & Ted movie and that it’s released all these years later; high, because it had a lot to live up to. Is it an unnecessary sequel? Probably, but all movies are arguably unnecessary (all you do is sit on your ass), but since it was made, fans like me can’t not watch it. I can safely say this sequel is definitely more non-heinous than heinous and ties in smoothly with the rest of its cinematic universe while containing elements from both its predecessors without feeling like a remake/reboot. I had a good enough time with it, dude. And the film’s conclusion is like totally relevant to Bill & Ted’s timeless mantra---“Be excellent to each other!” 11/13/2020

Bonus reviews:

Spontaneous G

This is a different kind of teen movie. It’s also a different kind of “Dead Teenager” movie. There be no masked murderer offing these teens here. They die by blowing up unexpectedly. It only seems to be happening (randomly) to a senior class in one high school (we hear of no similar instances happening elsewhere). Of course this gets everyone concerned (hell, there are countless other ways to have anxiety, let alone wondering if you’re going to explode any second) and the government tries to get to the bottom of it. Drugs are postulated as a possible cause and one kid even mentions aliens (doesn’t someone always in inexplicable situations?). I won’t disclose whether an explanation is given or not; I was a bit disappointed in the decision, but, at the same time, I wasn’t bummed out completely. Like I suggested above, this is like no other movie I’ve seen before and, for the most part, it works. It may be predictable at times, but it never felt repetitive which it very well could’ve been, and it never comes off as a joke which it also could’ve been; it is quite serious in retrospect. It has been labeled as horror and comedy in some places, but I think it’s a coming-of-age teen movie with a body count, and blood, which there is plenty of (obviously, if people blow up). Lastly, while it should instinctively be everyone’s philosophy to live each day like it were their last, its message is quite evident in emphasizing that (ask that person out, buy that beach house, buy that car, etc.). I recommend this bloody teen movie! 11/13/2020

Last Days in October OK

Four-episode feature available on YouTube barely totaling 40 minutes (basically a short film released in parts). It takes place in North Carolina during the (wait for it) last days in October and ties in with a certain franchise (hint---it involves a holiday occurring during the title). It’s okay (hence my rating) for a “fan film (my words, no one else’s)” posted on YouTube and won’t take up too much of your time, but I think it could’ve benefitted from containing one or two more “episodes.” 11/12/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Force of Nature >>>OK

Rows >>>EH/OK

Souvenirs >>>EH

Wish Upon a Unicorn >>>OK

---Sean O.

11/16/2020

Thursday, November 12, 2020

Welcome to the Blumhouse (Part One)

Blumhouse Productions, the company named after Jason Blum and known mostly for producing horror movies such as Insidious, The Purge, and Paranormal Activity (you can see their entire list if you Google them), recently released 4 movies (another 4 are coming) exclusively to Amazon in a series entitled ‘Welcome to the Blumhouse.’ I got around to watching all 4 and here are their reviews in the order I watched them…

The Lie EH/OK

A teenage girl admits to pushing her friend off a bridge and both her parents cover it up for her the best they can. Now, titling this The Lie made me a bit suspicious from the get-go, but I was willing to go along and was curious to where it would all lead. There isn’t much to this at all and it kind of has a Lifetime Channel feel to it, but it was kind of able to sustain itself for a good portion and there is a dark undertone in the grand scheme of things, but my initial presumptions ended up being true (as they should be for any ardent movie watcher), thereby making it a worse film than it already was. I expected better from you Blumhouse, especially in 2020. 11/9/2020

Evil Eye EH

An East Indian woman living in New Orleans is constantly hassled by her mother from India about meeting someone and getting married. She eventually does meet someone that appears too good to be true and her mother learns he’s connected to her past, and not in a good way. There’s nothing particularly special about this film other than depicting realistic love-hate mother-daughter dynamics that are likely universal. Representation is great, but it doesn’t always mean innovative (as evidenced here). 11/9/2020

Black Box OK/G

A man suffering from amnesia after an accident that claimed his wife undergoes a specific type of treatment in which he’s able to return to specific memories. It’s not like The Butterfly Effect where he can change the memories and alter the present, just simply to try and recall certain things vividly (he is given the ability to jump back and forth between these memories). The reveal, after about the hour mark, is nothing fresh and the film ultimately appeared to be overly familiar, but this entry in the Blumhouse package wasn’t bad and didn’t end as sappy as it could have. 11/10/2020

Nocturne EH

A girl at a music school commits suicide in the very beginning. Another girl, seemingly always in competition with her twin sister who both attend the same school, obtains said girl’s notebook and Movies 101 would usually inform you that’s probably not the best idea. This movie is lame, containing nothing we haven’t seen before (jealousies, possible curses, duplicitous characters) and threw no curveballs before the straightforward (and expected) conclusion. It felt like this may have been influenced a bit by Black Swan (several critics on Rotten Tomatoes also made the comparison), but it failed immensely at being anywhere near as good. 11/10/2020

In conclusion: I read online that these four movies were more drama than horror despite coming from a studio that predominantly produces horror. I also read they were more along the lines of suspense films. Okay, there may have been some suspense throughout, but none (definitely) were horror, psychological thrillers if anything, Black Box adding sci-fi elements. I would’ve been okay with them not being straight-up horror if they were actually good movies (yes, as much as I love horror, I do like non-horror films!). Black Box was really the only one of these four movies I thought was decent, but even that I wouldn’t completely rave about. Simply put, I would not have chosen any of these films to write a review for if they weren’t part of a series attached to a popular horror production company. As I mentioned in the intro above, 4 more movies in this series are planned to be released within a year, and, all I can say is, I hope they’re more on the horror side, or, at the very least, better than this bunch overall. 11/10/2020

---Sean O.

11/12/2020

Friday, November 6, 2020

Antebellum/The Rental

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Antebellum G

Ads I saw for this film upon its initial release indicated there was a twist. Now, sometimes I like knowing that beforehand since it gives me something to look forward to, but other times I wish it wouldn’t be disclosed (as much as humanly possible) so I wouldn’t try figuring it out (and many times I end up being right, like I sort of was here). There’s a twist in the beginning, but the bigger twist comes at the end and I think I might’ve been more surprised had I not known there was going to be one. The final twist arguably made it a darker film than it initially appeared. Why am I mentioning the twist if I myself wish it wouldn’t have been disclosed? Well, if you’ve seen ads like me, you’ve likely heard there was a twist, and the film actually managed to still be adequately entertaining. It only received 2 out of 5 stars on All Movie and only 28% out of 162 critics on Rotten Tomatoes, so apparently it didn’t do too well. All I can say is to go in without any knowledge that a twist is coming (if you possibly can), but, then again, I knew there was a twist coming, kind of figured it out, and still kind of enjoyed it, so check it out and decide for yourself. 11/6/2020

The Rental EH/OK

It always sounds sketchy when letting strangers rent one’s house and the same goes for those staying in a stranger’s house. Two straight couples rent a nice place overlooking the beach here and first impressions aren’t the best when meeting the owner’s brother who comes off as a bit standoffish and possibly racist (a Middle Eastern girl couldn’t book the house while a Caucasian guy could an hour later). A locked door with a keypad is discovered underneath the house and while that may appear sketchy (at least in entertainment), isn’t actually too much considering there’s always locked doors on properties. Eventually someone discovers what appears to be a camera in the showerhead and things just escalate from there. Now, the characterizations may be intricate and we do get some idea of who these people are (infidelity seems to be a commonality), but the concept is nothing I haven’t seen before (a movie set in Italy is just one that comes to mind), making it feel not at all distinctive. I was going to give this a strictly OK rating, because I didn’t hate it despite being nothing special, but I felt that would’ve been too nice. 11/5/2020

Bonus review:

Swallow OK

Talk about an unhealthy obsession! The female protagonist here, a housewife that recently became pregnant, develops a habit of swallowing items not meant for consumption; first, it’s a marble, then, it’s a thumbtack, then it becomes a battery and other potentially harmful items. If these items manage to come out the other end, she retrieves them, washes them, and groups them together as if they were souvenirs. The people in her life do find out about this obsession and naturally no one is okay with it, and we eventually learn of a possible reason why she developed this habit, but it’s still baffling how one could still develop such a particular proclivity. It does make for a compelling character study, a rather idiosyncratic one we’re not used to seeing, being more of a psychological drama despite being categorized as a psychological thriller, but it really doesn’t amount to much when all is said and done. 11/6/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

At the End of Eight >>>OK

Holidate >>>OK

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

11/6/2020

Monday, November 2, 2020

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight

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Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight OK

Here we have a Polish slasher movie recently added to Netflix in which a group of people attend a camp geared towards getting them away from technology. They split up into groups and head into the woods in true slasher style. I did mention this was a Polish film, so, yes, that means there are subtitles 99% of the time if you don’t understand Polish (the 1% is when two characters quote a certain American movie that actually isn’t a slasher film). This film is full of clichés even though one character appears very knowledgeable of the genre, i.e. entering a strange house in the middle of the woods, investigating noises, a car only starting when it’s convenient, etc. The killers, yes plural, are downright repulsive to behold (you do eventually see why), giving the inbred killers in all the Wrong Turn films a hefty run for their money (ironically, one of the kills here was exactly like one in Wrong Turn 2). I was hoping those Poles would strike two this year with Netflix releases after giving us the worthy The Woods series; I mean, some of the kills here were fine and it isn’t the worst movie I’ve seen in the subgenre, but, unfortunately, it doesn’t deviate much from many of its average American (or elsewhere) counterparts. 11/2/2020

Bonus review:

Mr. Mercedes: Season Three OK

I said this at the beginning of my review of the previous season---[I never read the trilogy of novels by someone named Stephen King---Mr. Mercedes, Finders Keepers, and End of Watch, released in that order---but I do own the first two and hope to one day read them, preferably when this series isn’t so fresh in my mind. That being said, I went into this season, as well as the last, blind with nothing to compare it to]---and it still applied here (you can read my entire review for both season one and two in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). [POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD] Something happened to the titular character at the end of the last season which caused him to be M.I.A. this time, aside from a few brief moments here and there that might not have even been played by Harry Treadaway. This season focuses on previous characters in addition to some new ones that were affected by Mr. Mercedes, specifically an incident he caused in season one. Like the last two seasons, this one also contained ten roughly 50-minute (give or take) episodes and I never felt like I forced myself to continue, which makes me wonder if my rating should be higher. On the other hand, it also felt like a cash grab that was a bit unnecessary in the sense it overstayed its welcome by adding more characters, but, like I said, I haven’t read any of the source material, so I don’t know what faithfully made it to the screen, what was omitted, or what may have been added. In other words, I thought it was an unnecessary season while simultaneously thinking it wasn’t that bad, enough to want to continue, if I can say anything for those planning on watching it anyway. So far, a fourth season isn’t planned and I hope it stays that way! Let the series end here, if anything, before it really overstays its welcome. 10/30/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman >>>OK

American Pie Presents: Girls’ Rules >>>EH/OK

The Assistant (2020) >>>OK/G

His House >>>OK

(Netflix)

Over the Moon >>>OK

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

11/2/2020

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Halloween Party

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Halloween Party EH/OK

I wanted something new and Halloween-related to watch around this time of year, so I chose this. Stop me if you’ve heard something similar before---A message randomly appears on screen with your name and asks what your fear is; it has to be a real fear, not made up, and your real fear will kill you if you don’t answer within the time limit. Sounds like a very run-of-the-mill film you’ve seen at least once (likely more) before, no? It does start that way at first before becoming somewhat of a police procedural wherein two college students are the “police” after learning the film’s title has more than one meaning. I was kind of hoping for a film involving more of a literal Halloween party. The film does look great, I grew quite fond of the main characters, and it does attempt to go for scares towards the end, but it ultimately ends up being just another run-of-the-mill horror film. I suggest you look elsewhere to get in the Halloween spirit. 10/25/2020

Bonus reviews:

The Witching Season OK/G

Anthology series consisting of five episodes totaling roughly 82-minutes (the longest being 31 minutes, the shortest being 9) currently available on Tubi. They all take place around Halloween and while it may be low-budget, it is shot professionally; I’m a fan of the intro too. The first segment, “Killer on the Loose,” is a slasher short containing a twist that didn’t feel too original, but I didn’t expect it here. Also, the original Night of the Living Dead is playing like it always seems to in movies, particularly horror (I should seriously start making a list of films that play the George A. Romero classic). “Princess” involves a stuffed bunny that isn’t as innocuous as it appears. While they did a decent job with camera angles and whatnot, and kudos to keeping it practical, the puppetry could’ve been done better. And it isn’t quite over by the end, making me wish this episode could’ve been expanded upon. The shortest segment, “Not Alone,” is also the weakest, being rather predictable, involving aliens (I assume). I didn’t hate it though and it is only 9-minutes. The longest one, “They Live Inside Us,” was the best and could definitely work as a feature film (ironically it was just made into one which is how I found out about this series after seeing it advertised), it being an anthology series of sorts alone, involving a writer devising scripts with different horror movie monsters in a house wherein a murder/suicide allegedly occurred. I am curious as to how they fleshed it out into a 103-minute film. Lastly, there’s “Is That You?” which contains a dark nursery rhyme in the beginning that eventually comes true for an unfortunate mother and daughter on Halloween night. It definitely could’ve benefitted from being longer, as they all could’ve (one, it already happened for, as I mentioned), at least as longer episodes, not necessarily feature-length films. These creators clearly have ambition and could definitely make something worthy with just a little bit more funding. I’m giving this a slight recommendation being it won’t take up too much of your time as a whole, and that it’s perfect viewing during this (witching) season. 10/24/2020

Cadaver OK

(haiku review)

Norwegian. Netflix.

It overstays its welcome.

Felt derivative. 10/25/2020

The Vanished (2020) OK

(haiku review)

Young girl disappears.

Full of clichés. Not bad though.

Predictable twist. 10/27/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein >>>OK

The Amityville Harvest >>>B/EH

Extremity >>>OK

---Sean O.

10/28/2020