Below the Fold/I Know What You Did Last Summer (Season One)

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Below the Fold                                                            G

Murder mystery set in Missouri.  A male and female journalist, with a history, team up to investigate a cold case involving a girl that went missing ten years ago.  This isn’t groundbreaking at all (but what really is these days?), but it was generally intriguing from start to finish; its tone is very bleak.  It is a bit inconclusive, and I was bummed when it ended, but after I thought about it, it kind of did end because we, as well as the journalists, are quite certain who was responsible, but, as with many cold cases in reality, there’s not enough evidence.  I’m still going to recommend it since I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I do think a limited TV series involving the same characters and locations would work, because there’s undoubtedly more to this microcosmic world, and it could definitely rival the first season of True Detective.  12/31/2021

I Know What You Did Last Summer (Season One)    B/EH

I finally got around to this eight-episode remake series available on Amazon Prime, and let me just say that’s roughly 6 ½ hours of my life I’ll never get back!  For those of you that thought the first movie was lame (and many did upon its release back in 1997), it’s a masterpiece compared to this poop.  The first movie was watchable in that “corny, I’m a teenager in the 90’s way” and I’ve seen it enough times to call myself somewhat of a fan; it definitely is corny though (I first read the book by Lois Duncan just a couple years ago and thought that was even lamer).  I Still Know What You Did Last Summer was worse, but it was slightly watchable in that so-bad-its-watchable way.  As for the third movie, I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer?  Let’s not even go there.  I honestly don’t know which was worse though, that or this series.  A bunch of teenagers do take a ride at night and hit someone on the road (trying their best to cover it up), and then some of them as well as others gradually get offed the next summer, just like the first movie.  There be no killer in a fisherman suit with a hook here though.  This also takes place in Hawaii instead of a coastal North Carolina town like the first film (I personally don’t think tropical locations are the best for horror entertainment; the only example that comes to mind where it worked was Club Dread, that being a meta horror film; I wouldn’t exactly include I Still Know as an example of when it worked either, but it worked better than here).  Being eight episodes that range from 45-to-58-minutes each, you can imagine there’s a lot of filler.  Oh, there’s a whole lot of filler, unnecessary at that, with the occasional kill, some worthy, yes (examples being ones involving a tractor and slushee machine), but not nearly enough to make the rest of this series worth sitting through.  I cared not about any of the characters as much as we got to know a good portion of them.  This doesn’t even work as a teen series; the last time teen entertainment was truly done well was Mean Girls (17 years ago!).  This was definitely a chore to get through.  I was a bit under the weather when I binged it, so I had nothing better to do.  Then again, all I do is watch movies and shows anyway, so being a little sick would never be an excuse to sit through something.  I could’ve spent my time, sick or not, watching something a whole lot better.  If I haven’t made it clear, I highly suggest you don’t waste your time with this series.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you don’t take my advice.  12/30/2021

Bonus review:

Encanto                                                                       OK/G

(haiku review)

Pretty to behold.

Most of the songs are catchy.

Story’s a bit thin.  12/26/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Don’t Look Up  >>>EH

            (Netflix)

The Land of Blue Lakes  >>>EH/OK

            (In Russian with subtitles)

Love Hard  >>>EH/OK

            (Netflix)

My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell It To  >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

12/31/2021

Ron's Gone Wrong

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Ron’s Gone Wrong                                                     G

Modern animation dealing with modern technology.  This animation isn’t a Disney film though, nor a Netflix one (although it is currently available on Disney+).  The technology involved is a bubble-bot, a cylindrical-shaped device that travels alongside its owner (containing any and all information concerning them).  One middle school kid receives a defective bot (Ron) that basically needs to be taught like a human.  And, like all technology, the other bots that aren’t “defective” can be just as detrimental as advantageous.  This movie wasn’t great, and it did take a bit for me to warm up to it, but it was cute (Ron is cute too) and funny (I did laugh out loud sometimes) enough to recommend for the entire family.  12/17/2021

Bonus review:

Day of the Dead (Season One)                                   OK

George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead isn’t my favorite of the series, but I do like it, somewhat.  His preceding Night and Dawn films are infinitely better.  This 10-episode series available on the SYFY channel is merely only based on Romero’s film and bears no relation to it whatsoever (I mean, yeah, there is a reference to it during the last episode, titled said reference, and one zombie gradually becomes “docile”).  It involves a town in Pennsylvania overrun with the undead and the townsfolk must do whatever possible in order to survive.  Typical zombie fare, no?  Did we really need another zombie series or movie, especially in these post-Walking Dead times?  Absolutely not (I never even finished that show, as far as I made it).  Since it’s hard to be original anymore, in any genre or subgenre, I’m willing to give anything modern a chance if it manages to be entertaining.  This series was just okay, barely; I mean, it has its moments and started off fine, but it really doesn’t stand apart from most of the other undead entertainment out there.  If you do decide to watch, all ten episodes are now available to binge (all roughly around the 40-minute mark without the ads).  I mean, ‘just okay’ is a better analysis than many other zombie flicks/shows that don’t even come close to okay, no?  I still think you can spend your time with better options though, like George A. Romero’s series; yes, even the three succeeding Day of the Dead (hell, just watch the original Night and Dawn!).  As of now, I came across no plans for a season two, but there very well could be (hell, it’s been proven more seasons can occur even when a series does seem to end).  If so, I may continue (my OCD would be the only thing forcing me to), but I really don’t care if they do or not.  12/18/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Blue Bayou  >>>OK

Portal Runner  >>>OK

---Sean O.

12/22/2021

Hail to the Deadites

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Hail to the Deadites                                                    OK/G

The Evil Dead.  I am a fan of the franchise; specifically the first two films.  I don’t dislike Army of Darkness, but it’s not particularly a favorite (too spoofy at times).  As for the TV series, Ash vs. Evil Dead?  I liked the first season, half of the second season, and the third season was fine, but it overstayed its welcome by then (glad it ended when it did).  As for the remake?  I wasn’t crazy about it at first, but admittedly grew to appreciate it more on repeat viewings (I will always prefer the OG though).  I didn’t see The Evil Dead until my late teens, but I instantly fell in love with it (despite some of its flaws, yes), enough to buy the DVD right away (that was around the time I first started buying DVD’s instead of VHS; yes, there were still some of those in stores).  I also wasn’t too big a fan of Evil Dead 2:  Dead by Dawn when I first saw it since some of the slapstick was a bit much for my tastes, but I kept returning to it and grew quite fond of its manic good time.  I love both films, differently, they being different beasts.  Aside from owning all three movies (yes, I do own a VHS copy of Army of Darkness that I likely got cheap or used, but never felt the need to upgrade), I have two Evil Dead shirts (one was a gift), two posters (one for both movies, the Evil Dead 2 one signed by Bruce Campbell), an Ash figurine (that was a gift), a throw blanket, books, and comics, so I guess you can say I’m a fan of The Evil Dead.  Now, why would you care about my particular fandom?  The same reason why anyone would particularly care for this documentary focusing on fans of the franchise (it features fans at conventions as well as some of the performers/crew members on these films).  Why indeed would someone care about other people professing their love for something whether you agreed with them or not?  Well, the same way I enjoy discussing films and other interests with people in person, I do enjoy hearing others discuss those same topics.  I am one of these people (although many fans definitely put me to shame; I may be a movie nerd, horror specifically, but not nearly as much as some people out there!).  [I got to meet the entire cast of the original Evil Dead at my first horror convention almost 20 years ago (nice people, even Bruce Campbell whom I’ve heard negative things about from some)].  I was generally intrigued with this documentary, despite not really entailing much, but did feel that it ended too soon (it was barely even 80-minutes), which is why I didn’t give it a strictly G rating (or perhaps I should have since it went by quickly and didn’t overstay its welcome…I don’t know).  Don’t like The Evil Dead?  Never seen The Evil Dead or any films in the franchise?  Never heard of The Evil Dead?  If you answered yes to any of the three, this doc may not be for you.  12/14/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Amityville Scarecrow  >>>B/EH

Christmas…Again?!  >>>EH/OK

            (Disney+)

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2021)  >>>OK

            (Disney+)

Free Guy  >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

12/15/2021

Silent Night

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Silent Night                                                                  G

No, this isn’t the 2012 remake/reimagining of Silent Night, Deadly Night; there are a couple movies with this title actually.  This is a new Christmas horror drama that contains no murderer in a Santa suit, but does contain a killer of a different sort.  A family in the U.K. gets together for Christmas and the inevitable bickering ensues amongst them, as can be expected in these films (and in real life).  What’s different about this holiday though is that an airborne poison is slowly making its way towards them and they will all be dead by morning (one theorizes it came from the Russians and another speculates it’s the Earth taking its revenge on humans).  There is no escape from it and everyone (except for certain people) was provided with a pill to ingest to go peacefully instead of slowly and painfully.  This isn’t quite like any other Christmas movie I recall seeing, it being pre-apocalyptic, feeling like a typical holiday drama, just with a grim air to the entire proceedings.  In other words, this isn’t a jolly holiday feature that’ll put you in good spirits.  My kind of movie!  I do like family holiday films, yes, but this film is a breath of fresh air (lol) amongst the majority of sappy, recycled holiday fare released.  I don’t remember a single moment when I didn’t want to watch it despite being fairly straightforward; the very end was possibly the only curveball thrown, which was kind of expected, but might cause discussions and get you pondering even after the credits roll.  Happy holidays!  12/10/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Baphomet  >>>EH/OK

Embrace of the Vampire (1995)  >>>EH

Embrace of the Vampire (2013)  >>>EH

Screams of a Winter Night  >>>OK

Silent Night, Zombie Night  >>>EH/OK

Teddy (2020)  >>>EH

To All a Good Night  >>>EH

---Sean O.

12/12/2021

Chucky (Season One)

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Chucky (Season One)

Anyone that knows me well knows I love Chucky.  I’ve been a fan since watching two of the movies in elementary school back in the Nineties.  Child’s Play 2 is probably my favorite film in the series (it was also the first one I saw).  Seed of Chucky is my least favorite, but it’s still not the worst movie I’ve seen (I still watch it when I have Chucky marathons).  Anyone that knows me well also knows I’m not a fan of remakes, even though I always end up watching them anyway (damn OCD).  I actually ended up liking the Child’s Play remake, enough to buy the DVD and see it at least three times already (you can read my review for it here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/06/childs-playtoy-story-4.html)!  Upon hearing of a TV show, this one, you can say I was undeniably excited.  I’ve been reading that it is strictly for the fans and that fans will definitely enjoy it.  Well, I’m a fan (if you haven’t figured that out) and I liked it, but didn’t love it.  Perhaps my expectations were too high (yes, even for a series featuring a killer doll with eight movies, if you include the remake, under his belt) and maybe if I binged the series (which you can now do on SYFY, USA, or, now, Peacock) instead of tuning in weekly (I seriously don’t know how we always did that back in the day), I may have loved it instead of liked it.  Who knows, maybe I’ll like it better if I watch again, and I likely will when I have a Chucky marathon.  You do need to have seen the other films before watching this series, because it is a sequel to those films and only those aware of the franchise will understand a lot of what’s included here.  Needless to say though, I don’t think anyone that isn’t a fan of the Chucky movies will have any interest in this series consisting of 8 episodes roughly around the 40-minute mark each (the last one being a bit longer).  Now, why didn’t I love it like I’m allegedly supposed to?  Hmm…I don’t know.  I guess it had too much of a TV production feel, if that makes sense (I knew I was tuning into a TV show after all).  The kills were equally unworthy as they were worthy (yes, there are kills, obviously).  I guess, like always in sequels/remakes/what have you, too much backstory on the characters might not really be necessary (one example being a scene wherein Tiffany reveals something to Charles Lee Ray in regards to the first film that kind of doesn’t really tie in with a scene from Bride of Chucky).  It does work okay as a coming-of-age story, a gay coming-of-age story at that (Don Mancini, the creator of Chucky, is gay, for those unaware), while also containing Chucky.  Maybe I do need to watch it again (now that I can do it straight through)…I should’ve loved it since there was violence and Chucky was in it enough.  There is already a season two in the works and I will definitely check it out since I love Chucky and he will always be my friend to the end.  Also, since I liked Child’s Play 2 better than its predecessor, perhaps I’ll like season two better than this one?  12/2/2021

Bonus reviews:

Behind the Monsters (Season One)                             OK

Did we really need another documentary series on horror movies?  Probably not in the exoteric sense, but, esoterically, horror fans like myself will never tire of talking about the genre, as well as hearing others talk about it.  Whereas Eli Roth’s History of Horror series takes a subgenre per episode and discusses specific films within that subgenre, this Shudder series consisting of six episodes takes a specific horror villain and discusses them and the franchises they’re in (you can read my review of season one of that Eli Roth series here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/12/mooby-reviews-12218.html, season two here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/11/growing-up-with-i-spit-on-your.html, and season three here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/11/chapelwaitenight-at-eagle-inn.html).  The cinematic boogeymen with their own episodes here are Michael Myers, Candyman, Chucky, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, and Pinhead, in that order (but you can watch them in any order you want now that they’re all available).  Chucky, Jason Voorhees, and Michael Myers are some of my favorite villains, so I personally liked those episodes the best, even though the Michael Myers one did drag a bit (most of them are 40-plus minutes, the Chucky one roughly 30).  I do like Candyman, but really only the first film, so that segment was just okay (the only other one under 40-minutes).  Freddy and Pinhead were never my favorites, the characters or the franchises, although I am a fan of the original Nightmare on Elm Street and some of the sequels are okay (notably part 3, Dream Warriors); the first Hellraiser was fine, but not really one of my favorites, and I haven’t even seen all the movies in the franchise since I have no interest; so, as can be deduced, the Pinhead episode was my least favorite one.  This may not be the best documentary series (esoterically, most likely) and I didn’t really learn much of anything new, but, like I said, if you enjoy hearing others talk about a genre you have an interest in (as much as you enjoy talking about it yourself) and you have nothing else to watch, you could do worse.  Needless to say, you can just pick which episodes you want to watch as well.  12/2/2021

Jurassic World:  Camp Cretaceous (Season 4)           EH

I feared this would happen.  I liked season one of this animated Netflix spinoff series, didn’t like season two, liked season three, and didn’t like this one.  Sense a pattern?  So far I seem to like every other season (you can read my review for season one here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/09/jurassic-world-camp-cretaceous.html, season two here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/01/synchronic.html, and season three here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/05/jurassic-world-camp-cretaceous-season.html).  This time there are 11 episodes that are 24-minutes each, so that’s about 4 ½ hours total (bingeable, if you choose).  The series obviously isn’t over yet, so this season felt like complete filler between last season and the probable next one.  It was unexciting for the most part (completely unlike last season) and I felt like I kind of forced myself to continue halfway through (never a good sign).  The first episode was decent and gave me a bit of hope, but the only other moment that stood out was towards the end of the series when our human protagonists come into contact with a specific dino from the very first live-action film (that being Jurassic Park not World).  There was more robot action than dino action it seemed, and, even so, I still wasn’t that impressed.  If and when season five happens, I hope my above assessment is true in that I’ll like it; otherwise, that’ll be 3 out of 5 misfires for this series…12/4/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Advent Calendar  >>>EH

   (Shudder; In French with subtitles)

Single All the Way  >>>EH/OK

            (Netflix)

---Sean O.

12/5/2021

Elves (Season One)

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Elves (Season One)                                                     G

Just in time for the holiday season!  The titular beings aren’t jolly toymakers in this Danish Netflix series though; they are mythological creatures with sharp teeth that will kill you!  It does take place around Christmas, therefore it is a Christmas series (yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie for those of you still debating it since it takes place around the holiday, so shut up about it; so is Batman Returns and many others I could probably list), consisting of 6 episodes ranging from 20-26 minutes each, totaling a little over 2 hours (therefore, you can binge it in one sitting).  Since it takes place in Denmark, yes, there are subtitles for those not fluent in Danish.  A family of four travel to an island to spend the holiday, said island containing those titular creatures fenced off from this small island community (of course you’ll gradually learn the reasoning behind everything).  I was reminded of Gremlins (takes place around Christmas, there’s a cute little elf not quite like the bigger elves), The Village (thematically; these creatures are very real), and Wayward Pines.  The creature designs are definitely worthy and the episodes go by really fast (points for brevity without feeling too inadequate).  I enjoyed this series enough to recommend it.  I’m sure you’ve watched movies just as long (or longer) that were worse.  11/29/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Karen  >>>EH

Malignant  >>>EH

13 Minutes  >>>OK

‘Twas the Fight Before Christmas  >>>B

            (Apple+)

---Sean O.

11/30/2021

Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Paranormal Activity:  Next of Kin                               OK/G

Part 7 of this franchise, but really only an in-name sequel, available on Paramount+.  I can say I’m a fan of this franchise as simple as it may be.  Part 4 was the only one I wasn’t too crazy about; I gave it an EH/OK rating according to my archives.  Apparently this is the first film in the series I’m writing a review for; the others I just rated since I didn’t start this blog yet (the first three I was still doing star ratings and I gave the first one 3 ½ out of 4 stars, 3 out of 4 to the second one, and 3 ½ out of 4 to the third; part 5-The Marked Ones-I gave a G/VG rating, and part 6-The Ghost Dimension-I gave a G rating).  As is apparent, I liked the first and third one the best.  As of this writing, this entry only received 28% out of 40 critics on Rotten Tomatoes.  It is not that bad, not at all, considering there isn’t much to expect from a Paranormal Activity movie, and the fact there’s countless paranormal entertainment out there.  It has the same eerie setup as the other ones with that pervading sense of dread knowing anything can happen at any time, usually closer to the end, with the build-up generally always being better (nighttime scenes in homes, especially empty hallways or staircases, are always going to be effective).  This time the events occur at an Amish community in which a girl returns to in order to learn about her real family, and, as anyone that’s seen movies can deduce, and given the franchise it’s in, something is clearly not right about this community.  Granted, there are clichés (i.e. cheap jump scares and, seriously, a car still doesn’t start until it’s convenient?!), but how can there not be in a film made in 2021, and, again, with all the other paranormal shit out there?  The film does end on a dark note, like all the others in a way, and I think, for the most part, it’s a fairly worthy addition to the franchise (as far as seventh entries go and being unrelated to the others).  It was better than part 4, that’s for sure, and better than the director’s (William Eubank) previous film, Underwater.  11/26/2021 

Bonus review:

Autumn Road                                                              OK

Horror drama I had a love-hate relationship with.  Its very indie quality is what gives it its charm.  This looks like a real small town with very real people.  Let’s see, it includes a haunted attraction, twin brothers that run the attraction after their father passed, a girl returning to this small town, and it takes place around the Halloween season (during more than one time period).  Plus there’s a pretty nifty owl mask (not quite like the one in Stage Fright though) worn by one of the twin brothers, who is obviously psycho.  Sounds like the ingredients for a decent film, no?  The ingredients are really all it entails, because this film doesn’t really involve much when you truly think about it.  Oh, that girl returning home had a sister that went missing years ago on Halloween, but we as an audience see what happened to her in the beginning.  The haunted attraction scenes we did get glimpses of seemed pretty spiffy, but I wish more time was spent on it.  Like I said, there is somewhat of an appeal to this indie horror drama, while, at the same time, it’s really not that great of a film.  Time may tell if it ages better, but for an indie horror drama done well, check out Lightning Bug, an example that comes to mind first.  11/24/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Amusement Park  >>>EH

Bloodthirsty  >>>EH

The Boy Behind the Door  >>>OK

            (Shudder)

The Columnist  >>>EH

   (In Dutch with subtitles)

Horror Noire (2021)  >>>EH

   (Shudder)

A House on the Bayou  >>>OK

            (Epix)

Prisoners of the Ghostland  >>>B

The Strings (2020)  >>>EH

Tailgate  >>>EH/OK

   (In Dutch with subtitles)

---Sean O.

11/28/2021

Candyman/Creepshow (Season 3)

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Candyman                                                                   OK/G

All this time I thought this was a remake when it’s actually a direct sequel to the original 1992 film, much like 2018’s Halloween was to the 1978 original.  Well, when I read about it a while ago I thought it was more of a re-imagining.  I am a fan of the original Candyman, I am; parts 2 and 3 (Farewell to the Flesh and Day of the Dead) released in 1995 and 1999 are forgettable.  Since this new film is a sequel and not a remake, I was a little more forgiving of it (yes, I hate remakes more than sequels), but it actually wasn’t that bad for a sequel released almost 30 years later.  It’s definitely more topical than the original was, for those that may care, and there are effective uses of shadow puppetry during flashbacks.  It did feel a tad limited and ended too soon, and, being that it is a sequel, it did suffer somewhat from “sequelitis” in regards to the legendary predecessor (needless to say, parts 2 and 3 don’t exist in this universe), but, as far as sequels go (especially released this far apart), you could do worse (those aforementioned ones being examples).  11/19/2021

Creepshow (Season Three)

Well, I liked the third season of this Shudder series based on the popular anthology franchise better than last season, but it still wasn’t as good as the first.  You can read my review for season one here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/01/creepshow-season-onejay-and-silent-bob.html and season two here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/05/creepshow-season-2in-search-of-darkness.html.  Again, there are 6 episodes this time (ranging from 44 to 55-minutes) containing two segments each.  The ones I liked best were “The Things in Oakwood’s Past,” “Meter Reader,” “A Dead Girl Named Sue,” and “Mums.”  “Skeletons in the Closet,” “Okay, I’ll Bite,” “Stranger Sings,” and “Time Out” were just okay.  I wasn’t so crazy about “Queen Bee,” “Familiar,” “The Last Tsuburaya,” and “Drug Traffic.”  Looks like there were an equal amount of good, bad, and in-between this time.  “The Things in Oakwood’s Past” was probably my favorite, ironically being the only animated segment, reminding me of a Tales from the Cryptkeeper episode; an R-rated episode at that (yes, there is gore and at least one F-bomb from recollection).  “Meter Reader” is an apocalyptic tale containing demons that probably could’ve been longer, and “Mums” was a decent albeit typical revenge tale based on a story by Joe Hill (Stephen King’s son).  “A Dead Girl Named Sue” takes place in 1968 and occurs at the same time as a certain movie released during that year, and it manages to work.  The battling skeletons in “Skeletons in the Closet” belong more in a Ray Harryhausen feature (that being an esoteric preference), but the segment is kind of fun for horror fans in that it references many films.  “Time Out” is a pretty simple story wherein time can be stopped while in an armoire, but of course there’s a catch, like usual; the ending is unfortunate, much like the one in Thinner.  “Stranger Sings” was a standard just okay segment involving a siren, while “Okay, I’ll Bite” was also a just okay one involving spiders in a prison.  “Queen Bee” I just wasn’t a fan of the creature design, and “Drug Traffic” was too bizarre for me (not in a good way), involving a floating head.  “Familiar” and “The Last Tsuburaya” were simply just lame, the former reminding me of the Tales from the Darkside movie (only worse), the latter involving a greedy art collector eventually getting his inevitable comeuppance.  Like always, you’re bound to agree or disagree with my assessment.  At least there were some decent segments this time.  I still wonder if they should’ve just ended at season one, but, like always, I’ll still be tuning in for any more seasons they give us…11/17/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Blush (short)  >>>OK

   (Apple+)

First Date  >>>EH

Sam Was Here  >>>EH/OK

Séance (2021)  >>>EH/OK

Separation (2020; short)  >>>B

Skull:  The Mask  >>>EH

   (In Portuguese with subtitles)

V/H/S/94  >>>OK

White Girl (2019; short)  >>>EH

---Sean O.

11/20/2021

The Beta Test

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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The Beta Test                                                              OK

Confession---I kind of developed a crush on Jim Cummings.  Granted, he isn’t the sexiest man alive; it’s more of a celebrity crush type thing.  I admire his presence, leave it at that!  This is the third film he directed and starred in (he also made appearances in films like Halloween Kills and The Block Island Sound).  Thunder Road was just okay, nothing special (I gave it an OK rating).  The Wolf of Snow Hollow was decent; for those that couldn’t stand that film (as I’ve come across several), I don’t think you’re going to care too much for this one.  I’ll admit that I was only interested in checking this out right away because I saw Jim Cummings was in it and it was a new horror film.  Well, it’s labeled as a horror film, but it most definitely is not; maybe a thriller, if that, with somewhat of a mystery.  This movie is really about nothing.  I mean, Jim Cummings works at a film-type company in Hollywood and receives an invitation to a sex party of sorts and tries to get to the bottom of it after actually attending (it’s not really a party, just a one-on-one experience involving blindfolds).  So, it does involve that.  It may sound like there’s a mystery to it, but there really isn’t.  Like I said, this movie really isn’t much of anything.  If you don’t like Jim Cummings, you’re likely going to hate it given he’s pretty much in the entire movie (hell, he’s pretty much the movie); he sure is an asshole here, and that might just mean convincing acting.  My rating is strictly personal due to that aforementioned Jim Cummings infatuation, but also because I was slightly intrigued the entire time despite really being about nothing; I didn’t check the time once or see how much time was remaining and that should mean something I suppose.  It currently has a 94% rating out of 72 critics on Rotten Tomatoes though, so what do I know?  Perhaps there are others fascinated with Jim Cummings?  Or there actually is more to the movie than I initially grasped and I’ll have to watch it again?  I don’t know.  Mr. Cummings directed three very different films so far, none quite spectacular (The Wolf of Snow Hollow being my favorite so far), but as long as I’m still fascinated with him, I’ll keep watching and maybe one day he’ll present us with his crowning achievement.  11/13/2021

Bonus reviews:

Home Sweet Home Alone

Recently-released remake of the 1990 holiday classic available on Disney+.  Technically parts 3, 4 and 5 were remakes too since they all featured different performers, and this could arguably be a sequel to Home Alone 2 since a character from the first two films makes an appearance and references those two films.  Whatever, this is a modern version with different performers and contains the same parameters as the other films---a young kid is left home alone (during the holiday season), people try breaking into his house, and he sets up booby traps for them.  The two people breaking in aren’t burglars, just down-on-their-luck folks that need to retrieve an item they believe was stolen by the young boy during an open house, said item worth enough to pay for their house they can’t currently afford.  Was this remake unnecessary?  Absolutely!  It isn’t the worst film I’ve seen though and wasn’t a complete waste of time.  I mean, there are some funny parts (not the fart scene; I don’t know why people still think farts are funny; plus it was predictable) and I was curious to see the traps concocted (which were silly but somewhat fun, like usual).  I have a feeling the majority of people that’ll check it out will be out of curiosity, especially those of us that remember when the original film was released (I can’t believe it’s been over 30 years!).  Please, if you have kids though and they haven’t been introduced to the franchise yet, do not let this be the first one they watch, especially since the original, plus parts 2 and 3, are available on the same channel!  One character even made a comment about remakes never being as good as the originals.  Hmm…11/14/2021

Olaf Presents (Season One)

(haiku review)

Five Disney movies.

Re-enactments by Olaf.

Cute two-minute eps.  11/14/2021

*Available on Disney+*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Evil Next Door  >>>OK/G

   (In Swedish with subtitles)

Jungle Cruise  >>>EH/OK

Reminiscence  >>>EH

Witch Hunt (2021)  >>>EH

---Sean O.

11/16/2021

Chapelwaite/Night at the Eagle Inn

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Chapelwaite                                                                OK

Ten-episode series available on Epix based on a short story contained in Night Shift by Stephen King entitled “Jerusalem’s Lot.”  [I did read that short story years ago and remember liking it, but couldn’t recall a single thing even when watching.  Therefore, I went into this series blind which could be better in order to avoid comparisons; I do prefer reading the book before watching the movie as opposed to vice versa.  I’ll re-read the short story which is a little over 30 pages soon].  Surely you must have heard of Mr. King’s novel, Salem’s Lot, and the movie adaptations (another one supposedly coming next year)?  It’s a sequel to the short story and it involves vampires, therefore this series must deal with vampires, no?  Absolutely, and the v-word wasn’t widely used during the mid-19^th century when this predominantly takes place (the few other times are flashbacks).  It involves a man (played by Adrien Brody) returning from the sea with his three children after his wife/their mother passes to a home left to him by his cousin.  Chapelwaite is the name of the home, located in Maine (Stephen King?  Where else?  Although it was filmed in Canada), not far from the town of Jerusalem’s Lot wherein a vampire resides with other vamps and wants something contained in the titular house.  Being this is a Stephen King adaptation and that there are vampires, it should go without saying that not too much good results from all this.  It does drag at times, no surprise given all ten episodes are roughly around the 50-minute mark, but they generally go by quicker than you think.  Stephen King completists will likely watch it no matter what anyone says, and I’m not deterring anyone from doing so either (I’m one of those completists); it is a decent gothic yarn undoubtedly with atmosphere, but as a horror story, and as a series in general, it’s really nothing too special.  11/4/2021

Night at the Eagle Inn                                                 OK/G

A brother and sister (twins) from Philadelphia travel to the titular hotel in Vermont since that is where their mother died giving birth to them and their father disappeared right after.  This is one of those you’ll have to wait until it’s over to truly know your opinion, because it starts off as a typical haunted hotel film, bringing to mind The Innkeepers the most (and there are references to Psycho and The Shining).  In other words, the ending makes it a better movie.  While there was enough contained in the story to feel somewhat complete, it still felt a bit underdeveloped and that could be due to its barely even 70-minute length (there’s a lot they could’ve done with this story).  It did probably look better on paper and would work better as a short story/novella, but it’s a decent indie flick when all is said and done that won’t take up too much of your time.  11/7/2021

Bonus reviews:

The Deep House                                                         OK/G

I can’t say I ever saw a haunted house movie that took place underwater before this.  In it, an American straight couple are traveling in France (only some parts are subtitled) and visit abandoned sites.  They come across a man that offers to take them to a secluded lake containing a house at the very bottom.  Movies 101, especially if it’s a horror movie, would usually tell you that’s not such a good idea.  Of course there wouldn’t be movies though if characters didn’t make unsensible choices.  They go to this lake with this man, gear up, and travel to the bottom where this totally preserved house stands.  I mean, household items including photographs appear to be intact!  Something is clearly not right, as Movies 101 would indicate.  Now, if this was a haunted house film that occurred above water like any other, it’s hard to tell how distinctive it would’ve been.  There are clichés, but it does actually manage to be chilling at times, and I’m not sure if it taking place underwater had something to do with it (I suggest the filmmakers, which are the duo behind the great French film, Inside, make the same movie aboveground to test my theory).  I’m going to mildly recommend this underwater haunted house feature for being better than I thought it would be.  Plus, there is no happy ending which is something I actually yearn for in horror flicks these days, so points for that.  11/6/2021

Eli Roth’s History of Horror (Season 3)

If you want a synopsis for the documentary series, just check out my reviews for season one (https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/12/mooby-reviews-12218.html) and season two (https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/11/growing-up-with-i-spit-on-your.html).  In a nutshell, Eli Roth is the host, specific horror subgenres are discussed each episode, certain films are discussed within those subgenres, and various celebrities give their two cents.  There are six episodes this season and they cover Sequels That Don’t Suck, Infections, Psychics, Apocalyptic Horror, Holiday Horror, and Mad Scientists.  If you’ve watched the other two seasons and like all, or most, that horror has to offer, you should know whether you’ll want to tune in or not (the layout hasn’t changed).  These episodes were worth watching, although I didn’t really care for the last one, “Mad Scientists,” because I’m not really a fan of any of the films covered, save for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I don’t know why that was included since it’s a sci-fi musical, but whatever.  My personal favorite was “Holiday Horror” since some of my favorite films are in that subgenre (I never considered Terror Train a holiday film either, even though it does take place on New Year’s).  And why wasn’t Child’s Play 2 included on the “Sequels That Don’t Suck” segment?!!!  As much as I love Bride of Chucky (which was discussed), Child’s Play 2 is definitely the better sequel and my favorite film in the franchise (oh well, I didn’t create the show).  Well, 19 episodes have been made so far, meaning there are at least 19 subgenres in horror, and season 4 hasn’t been announced yet.  I can think of at least three subgenres that haven’t been exclusively covered yet---dolls, clowns (Eli even produced Clown), and sharks, or natural horror in general, but sharks could have their own episode, and that’s surprising given Eli has been on Shark Week and made that documentary, Fin.  Obviously I’ll keep watching until it’s cancelled.  11/7/2021

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

American Rust (Season One)  >>>OK

            (Showtime; 9 episodes)

Black Bear  >>>EH

Escape Room:  Tournament of Champions  >>>OK

Nine Days  >>>OK

Ted Bundy:  American Boogeyman  >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

11/8/2021

Welcome to the Blumhouse (Part 2)

Blumhouse Productions, the company named after Jason Blum and known mostly for producing horror movies such as Insidious, The Purge, and Paranormal Activity (you can see their entire list if you Google them), recently released 4 movies (another 4 are coming) exclusively to Amazon in a series entitled ‘Welcome to the Blumhouse.’  I got around to watching all 4 and here are their reviews in the order I watched them…

I copied and pasted that intro from my review of the first four films released last year since the same pretty much applies here (you can check out my review of the first four films here--- https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/11/welcome-to-blumhouse-part-one.html).  Obviously I knew there were going to be four movies released this year, as you can see in parenthesis above, so I’m guessing this year would be Welcome to the Blumhouse, Part 2?  Somewhere on the internet stated it was season 2 of the series, but these are all individual movies not TV episodes.  Whatever, these four films are 2021 releases of Welcome to the Blumhouse…

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Bingo Hell                                                                   EH

A poor community consisting primarily of old folks receives a lavish new bingo hall.  You’ll recognize the man in charge of this new establishment, Richard Brake, from a few Rob Zombie-helmed pictures among others, he having a face more recognizable than his name.  Some of these “down on their luck” peeps do win large amounts of money, but in standard “it’s too good to be true” fashion, their winnings come with a “price.”  This film is largely uninspired.  11/1/2021

Black as Night                                                             EH/OK

The title is obviously a play on words.  It involves vampires in New Orleans mainly in a poor community still affected by Hurricane Katrina.  It really adds nothing new to bloodsucker cinema---they still die by sunlight, they still die from garlic, they still die with stakes driven through them (obviously a mortal would die that way too though); well, some don’t necessarily die by sunlight and it is explained why, but that’s not even barely enough to make this feel original.  Yes, I know, it’s very hard to be innovative these days and likely from here on out, but I can forgive derivative entertainment if it’s actually entertaining.  I didn’t have too much fun with this and I’m fascinated with New Orleans and love vampires.  The two protagonists were fine though and I’d probably appreciate them more in a better movie.  11/1/2021

Madres                                                                        EH

A Mexican couple in America move from L.A. to a house in the countryside.  The pregnant wife doesn’t know Spanish, so only parts are subtitled.  Beginning as what could’ve been an atmospheric thriller gradually becomes a film with cheap jump scares, leading to a weak conclusion for which there was no intriguing mystery to begin with.  A rather serious issue is brought to light that should be discussed, but this wasn’t the best movie it was brought to light in.  11/2/2021

The Manor                                                                  OK

Old folks in a home with “one foot in the grave” seeing a shape at night?  Those claiming to see the shape eventually passing?  No, that’s not sinister at all.  Clearly something is amiss at the titular location and one woman, played by Barbara Hershey, recently admitted to this facility aims to get to the bottom of it.  The big reveal is a bit clichéd, but it somewhat works in this film and there’s a slight mystery leading up to it.  You do eventually get to see what the shape looks like and it’s not too disappointing albeit not exactly awe-inspiring.  Surely, for some, to be a thought-provoking take on themes of age and aging.  11/2/2021

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In conclusion:  This is what I said at the end of my review for the last four movies in the series---[…4 more movies in this series are planned to be released within a year, and, all I can say is, I hope they’re more on the horror side, or, at the very least, better than this bunch overall].  Well, I can say that these four films were more horror.  As for being better?  Not necessarily.  Again, I only found one of the four to be decent, that being The Manor, and even that I wouldn’t exactly rave about.  I can see it being a film that might get better with age though (pun intended).  Ironically, that was the only movie this round directed by a name I actually recognize---Axelle Carolyn, who has directed episodes of American Horror Story, Creepshow, The Haunting of Bly Manor, and a segment of Tales of Halloween.  Actually, I knew of Bingo Hell’s Gigi Saul Guerrero and that’s only because she’s been a guest on Eli Roth’s History of Horror before.  As of now, I see no plans for a third bunch of films, but judging by these last two sets, I can’t say I really care because I haven’t exactly been the biggest fan so far…11/2/2021

---Sean O.

11/5/2021

Squid Game

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Squid Game (Season One)                                          OK/G

I finally got a chance to watch this much-discussed Netflix series and can now understand all the memes it produced.  When I first read about it before it premiered, it sounded very much like another Battle Royale or Hunger Games.  Whereas those two films involved people thrust into a scenario in which they needed to kill the other players in order to win (and ultimately survive), the contestants here aren’t forced to be there and have the option to exit several times.  The series consists of 9 episodes, each roughly around the hour-mark, save for one being a half-hour (?), involving people with massive amounts of debt competing against each other in children’s games to win money at the end.  They don’t have to kill each other, although some do, but many do die while competing in these games.  Basically, the less survivors at the end, the more money those left receive.  Oh, you probably heard amongst all the talk that this is a Korean series, so, yes, that means subtitles (a few parts are in English, but only like 10% of the entire time).  So, did I like this series that was allegedly the #1 show in 90 countries, including the U.S. and U.K. (I guess there’s enough people that don’t mind reading subtitles)?  Sure, I enjoyed a decent amount of it.  There’s suspense at times, violence at times, and a good deal of the characters make it worth watching.  It did drag at times, but not often from what I recall, and my biggest complaint would probably be the last episode, the beginning of which was rather weak, making me think the build-up in the preceding episodes lead to nothing.  Plus, something revealed at the end rendered a scene in a previous episode much less poignant; some may like how it’s all tied up though.  If you’re looking for something new to binge, even just to see what the hell all the buzz is about, give it a whirl.  As of now, a second season isn’t confirmed, but it’s up in the air, and I don’t think they should continue as popular as this season was; the novelty has already worn itself thin.  10/30/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Grave Intentions  >>>EH/OK

The Legend of Fall Creek  >>>B

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight II  >>>EH

   (Netflix; In Polish with subtitles)

---Sean O.

11/3/2021