mooby reviews 6/20/2016

Not as many as usual but here's some film reviews...

The Abandoned                                                           EH

Twists don’t necessarily make a movie better.  The movie has to be engaging beforehand.  Movies like The Sixth Sense, High Tension, Jacob’s Ladder, Shutter Island and The Visit are good before their twists and not necessarily ruined by them.  Sometimes twists do make the movie better, like Orphan.  Sometimes twists make the movie worse, like The Boy.  Anyway, filmmakers shouldn’t think that by adding a twist to any movie would make it better.  They try to tease us into re-watching knowing the twist ahead of time.  This movie was boring.  The twist is nothing new either.  There’s a few creepy moments and I like Jason Patric, but this movie should be Abandoned in the annals of twist-ending cinema.  6/18/2016

The Conjuring 2                                                          VG

I liked the first one better the second time.  I really liked this one the first time.  Almost a 2 ½ hour sequel that didn’t seem so.  Here we have an atmospheric, periodically dark, tale with some creepy specters executed well by James Wan like usual.  I never understood how people, let alone kids, can investigate dark houses alone especially if they hear noises and/or experience poltergeist activity beforehand.  Don’t expect me to get out from under the covers if I hear just one creak!  While I personally don’t prefer horror movies ending on good trumping evil, I guess it was best to remain historically accurate due to the Lorraines devout Catholicism and Hollywood’s reliance on optimistic resolutions.  Plus, it’s “based on a true story” as so many modern films are.  I still enjoyed the ride though.  6/13/2016

Ethan Mao                                                                  OK

Here’s a different kind of gay film.  It has nothing to do with being written and directed by an Asian-American, nor that its eponymous protagonist is also Asian-American.  The love story is a backdrop amidst the hostage tale.  While said protagonist and his Latino “friend” return to the parents house to retrieve something after being kicked out for being gay, the family returns unexpectedly after heading out for the day.  Ethan and his friend hold the family hostage until the next morning when something can be obtained.  Nice twist on the gay subgenre but it’s not thoroughly entertaining.  Also, if you ever hold people hostage, don’t let anyone out of your sight or allow unattended because they’ll most likely tell someone.  Plus, if Ethan’s family would’ve just accepted him for who he is, then none of it would’ve happened.  Then, of course, we wouldn’t have a gay movie about something other than a relationship.  6/14/2016

Finding Dory                                                              G

Finding Nemo is one of Pixar’s best and very hard to live up to, let alone top.  That being said, Finding Dory, is not as good as its predecessor, but decent enough for a sequel.  It is, at times, creative, cute and fun.  I like the octopus, or septopus (see the movie to know what I mean).  I’m recommending this but I liked it better when they were finding the little guy.  6/19/2016

Into the Lion’s Den                                                     G

Pretty good independent thriller involving three gay men wandering into the wrong small-town bar.  Engaging characters and occasionally suspenseful without overstaying its welcome.  Standard cautionary tale suggesting to be cautious of who you meet online regardless of gender or sexuality.  6/14/2016

Scream at the Devil                                                     EH/OK

The cover looks like another possession flick.  Not quite.  More possession of the mind.  The female protagonist has hallucinations (or are they?) after suffering miscarriages and retreating to an isolated house after visiting Italy.  There’s style aplenty with some nightmarish scenes but story structure and condensing the runtime were overlooked.  6/11/2016

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 6/10/2016

Here's some new mooby reviews:

Anomalisa                                                                   G

Here we have a different kind of animation.  For adults.  The characters have heads with what appear to be puzzle pieces.  It was fascinating to see familiar settings rendered in this world, everything from the hotel room itself to the ice machine.  Would I have liked this if it were the same exact movie in live-action with real actors?  My mental magic-8 ball says “Not likely.”  Is this strictly style over substance and only works because of presentation?  The 8-ball says “Signs point to yes.”  6/9/2016

Available Men                                                             B

Seven short films involving gay men that are all lame.  The final film, “Sissy Frenchfry,” is okay but still not worth watching.  “Irene Williams” doesn’t belong here at all, as it chronicles an old woman’s life who happens to be friends with a gay man.  It might work on its own but I don’t understand why it was included here?  Queer cinema is already limited so if garbage like this stopped being made there might be more available (wink, wink).  6/4/2016

Deadpool                                                                    OK

The superhero movie that’s supposed to be the anti-superhero movie innumerous people are raving about.  The film is pretty violent and Ryan Reynolds looks the best he’s ever did (before being turned into “pepperoni pizza bread”---I honestly never thought he was hot before.)  Breaking the fourth wall wasn’t too funny and made the film too parodical in the Scary Movie vein.  There’s some funny moments, mostly slight chuckle over laugh-out-loud (performing cunnilingus with vampire teeth got the loudest laugh from me).  Ultimately, it’s a typical superhero film topped off with a sappy love story.  I still think the best R-rated comic book adaptation is The Crow.  6/7/2016

Devil’s Mile                                                                 OK

Some people involved with this film are associated with Rue Morgue Magazine.  I had high hopes and expectations since that’s my favorite magazine.  The film is certainly ominous, well-shot and suspenseful, but it’s also derivative and done better before.  I was reminded of a better film called Dead End while watching.  I’m not dismissing Devil’s Mile.  I’d even say watch it but just don’t expect anything wholly original.  6/10/2016

Hotel Hell                                                                    OK/G

I only got this because I had a Redbox code and because there’s an evil clown on the cover.  There is a clown in the film but it’s not the same one on the cover.  The titular hotel is just the wraparound segment in this anthology film.  I didn’t know this was an anthology film (consisting of a haunted house, the aforementioned clown, a backwoods cannibalistic creature and the wraparound hotel mentioned).  I like anthology films.  I can’t deny that all three segments kept my interest despite being poorly shot.  The clown in the film isn’t as cool as the one on the cover either.  Hell, I’m going to lean more towards G than OK for being better and different than I thought.  I just wish covers wouldn’t be so misleading, especially when it’s an evil clown!  6/5/2016

The Offering                                                                EH

Possession flicks are D.O.A.  One part actually did frighten me and it wasn’t a typical “jump scare” where the music gets louder and anyone with a pulse would react.  Emphasis on the one part.  There’s an interesting notion pertaining to a sea creature mentioned in the Old Testament, but this faith-based thriller offers (pun intended) nothing we haven’t seen before (and most of what came before wasn’t worth watching either).  Let’s see:  A sibling or close friend dies.  The survived sibling/friend investigates.  The investigator comes across cases involving similar deaths.  There’s a final confrontation with the evil entity.  Everything’s resolved and wrapped in a pretty little bow.  Final image suggests a possible sequel.  Yawn.  6/10/2016

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies                               OK

I really liked the book.  The movie wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but that doesn’t mean I think it should’ve leaped from page to screen.  There are some worthy moments.  The paper scenes in the beginning depicting historical events leading to the present time were truly magnificent.  While some violence is implied, there are some rather bloody scenes for a PG-13 film.  My biggest beef is that the zombies talk and live like humans.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t necessarily hate talking zombies (I’m a fan of the Return of the Living Dead series with Return of the Living Dead Part II being the first zombie movie I saw) but they’re the most effective when brainless shambling mutes.  Plus, they didn’t talk in the book (I hate to compare but that’s what I expected)!  To sum it up, the Pride and Prejudice parts were boring and the Zombies part was, more or less, fun.  I think you should just read the book.  6/4/2016

Zootopia                                                                      G

I’m going to reference an Android tagline not only because I like it but it also applies to this new Disney film:  Be together.  Not the same.  This world inhabited solely by animals, both “prey” and “predator,” contains metaphors for human struggles such as gender, race and sexual orientation.  Has a positive message for kids about acceptance in a diverse world.  This world would be rather boring if we were all the same, just don’t “hate” others for being different or make assumptions on how other groups are perceived/stereotyped.  We, humans and animals, all generally have the same traits underneath and just want to live our lives how we desire.  There’s enough here for all ages to enjoy.  6/9/2016

---Sean O.