Eli/Trick/Candy Corn

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Eli                                                                                G/VG

Netflix film about a boy named Eli taken to a facility that promises to cure him of a condition preventing him from being outside.  This treatment facility located away from civilization (aren’t they all?) obviously houses something sinister.  Before we are given the reason behind this shady organization, this is a fairly standard supernatural movie yet still somewhat atmospheric enough to make me want to keep watching.  The big reveal, once revealed, made this a much better movie.  At least I thought so.  [POTENTIAL SPOILER]  This could very well be this generation’s Omen.  10/29/2019

Trick                                                                            OK/G

The set-up is simple:  Someone wearing a Halloween mask slaughters some people at a party in 2015 and similar things happen every year up to 2019 in the same general New York area.  Is it the same guy who appeared to be killed the first night?  (Horror 101---there’s always a chance the villain survives no matter what’s done to them).  Is it a ghost?  A copycat?  This film that’s longer than necessary is 100% style with very little substance and a slight twist towards the end.  There’s gore aplenty, not nauseating but more in the fun slasher sense, so this will likely only appeal to gorehounds and/or those that enjoy plotless horror films.  It takes place on Halloween too, so ‘tis the season!  10/29/2019

Candy Corn                                                                OK

Candy corn.  That flavorless candy synonymous with the Halloween season no one really likes but will eat addictively if right in front of them (at least I’m guilty).  The candy is featured in this film, but the generic plot involves a typical revenge scenario in which a somehow resurrected man takes vengeance on a group of local small-town folks responsible for his “accidental” demise.  Now, I might’ve been okay with that unoriginal plotline as it’s very hard to be original these days, but this is one of those movies with so much potential that made me think how I would’ve made it better (I hate when that happens).  Director Josh Hasty definitely has his heart in the right place (in regards to genre) and even managed to grab a few genre faces like “Malachai” from the original Children of the Corn (Courtney Gains), P.J. Soles (the original Halloween and Carrie, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School), and “Candyman” himself (Tony Todd).  The film has that cozy, pre-millennial feel (particularly the Eighties and early Nineties) set around Halloween as well, and the killer’s mask was definitely worthy.  Where I would’ve done things differently were the kills themselves.  Save for a double limb removal, I wasn’t really impressed with any of the murders; the gore or in their execution.  The killer used his bare hands for one thing; I would’ve given him some sharp weapons (or any weapons really) to use as that is what many of us horror fans, if not all, like to see.  When I watch a slasher film, I want to be impressed with the kills in addition to everything else (the performances, the cinematography, the locations, etc.), and if at least a good portion of them don’t work, the film as a whole doesn’t, unfortunately.  10/29/2019

Bonus reviews:

Rattlesnake                                                                  OK

It might not be a good idea taking a detour due to traffic lest you end up in a Texas desert with a flat tire.  Especially if you have a young child that wanders off into said desert while you’re fixing said flat tire.  Especially in a movie called Rattlesnake, because they’ll likely come across the titular reptile and get bitten.  That all happens in just the beginning of this “sell your soul to the devil” Netflix film.  Many people, if not all, say they’ll do anything for their children, even kill.  Many just say the kill part hypothetically, never expecting (or hoping) to actually be in the situation like the mother in this film that’s informed she must take a life (within a certain time) in order to save her daughter.  She comes across ghosts that were in the same situation in the same region, so she knows this is what she must very much do.  Who should she kill though?  A dying patient?  An abusive husband?  This thriller was just okay (as my rating implicates) since I felt I’ve seen these stories several times before and it didn’t get as dark as it could have.  10/29/2019

Tone-Deaf                                                                   OK/G

This begins somewhat like a “chick flick” before becoming a Psycho-esque slasher film.  It does play around with horror conventions quite a bit and one may think it’s a spoof for doing so, but it generally feels like a serious horror film aside from when Robert Patrick (you know his face more than his name---Terminator 2, The Faculty, etc.) occasionally breaks the fourth wall.  Those few instances made me take the film less seriously, but I mostly had fun with this.  10/29/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Booksmart  >>>EH

Burn  >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
10/30/2019

Zombieland: Double Tap

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Zombieland:  Double Tap                                           G

I am a fan of Zombieland, back when it was released in 2009 and now.  It was released before zombies basically became trendy with The Walking Dead and Z Nation among others, but zombies were old hat even by 2009; Zombieland is one of the ones that stood out though, even becoming somewhat legendary within just ten years.  There have been talks of a sequel for a while now, plus a TV show that didn’t work out, and while this obviously isn’t as good as the first one (the majority of sequels aren’t, even if they’re still worthy), nor did I expect it to be, I still enjoyed it enough to recommend it.  [I do want to watch it again, mainly because I had to pee a little more than halfway through and I never want to miss a single second of a movie (especially in the theater; that’s the main plus about watching at home---the pause button), so I subconsciously wished it would quickly be over while simultaneously enjoying it as much as I could despite how uncomfortable I was gradually becoming.  It sucks getting older.]  The main cast of characters really haven’t changed since the first go-round, so whether you liked or hated them before, you should still feel the same way about them.  Other characters are added too, of course (I actually thought the stereotypical blonde was more funny than annoying).  There’s a mid- and post-credits sequence involving a famous face from the first film (you probably know who I’m talking about, and the name does appear in the credits if you research) that I actually thought was rather idiotic, embarrassingly so, instead of even remotely funny, so you decide if you want to watch the credits (I always do ever since Napoleon Dynamite).  Anyway, if the director, Ruben Fleischer, decides to make a third film in another ten years, I’ll definitely tune in but still won’t likely think it’s better than, or at least equal to, the first.  Prove me wrong though, Ruben; or I’ll at least settle for it being better than this one, which was still a decent follow-up.  10/19/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Beach House (2018)  >>>OK

Blood Cult  >>>EH/OK

Demon (2016)  >>>OK

Ghost Shark  >>>OK

I Am Not a Witch  >>>G

Revenge (1986)  >>>EH/OK

            (sequel to Blood Cult)

Shazam!  >>>OK

---Sean O.
10/23/2019

3 From Hell

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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3 From Hell                                                                OK/G

For those that don’t know, this is the third film in Rob Zombie’s “Firefly Family” franchise that began with House of 1000 Corpses and followed with The Devil’s Rejects.  I am a fan of both those films, more so of the latter, but the ending of The Devil’s Rejects is no longer as disturbingly poignant as it once was now that we know they survived (I don’t think I’m spoiling anything since the only ones likely interested in seeing this have probably seen the preceding entries, and you’ve had 14 years to see The Devil’s Rejects).  This may have been an unnecessary sequel (I hate to say) and the “witty” remarks by our villainous protagonists are largely puerile and ineffective by now, but there’s still a certain kind of appeal that made me want to keep watching.  That appeal will likely only apply to fans of the first two films though, namely The Devil’s Rejects as the style here very much reflects that gritty world over the more colorful (yet no less grim) one in House of 1000 Corpses.  It is more of an action (than horror) movie too that could’ve been directed by Quentin Tarantino or Sam Peckinpah or the like, but does still contain enough of Mr. Zombie’s signature violence.  All I’ll say is, if you liked House and Rejects even a bit more than remotely, watch this (as you likely will anyway) but don’t keep your expectations too high.  I really hope Rob doesn’t plan on making a fourth one either (this one wasn’t even originally supposed to happen) since I believe the Firefly clan had enough time in the spotlight.  R.I.P. Sid Haig.  10/16/2019

Bonus review:

Body at Brighton Rock                                                OK/G

You might be reminded of Backcountry (ironically that word is mentioned in the beginning) although the two films really aren’t that much alike.  The promo art shows a menacing bear towering above a girl, the park rangers in this film are warned about bears and mountain lions, and there are claw marks on some trees, so I think it was pretty much apparent there would be a bear encounter at some point.  I hate to disappoint anyone (or to make you avoid disappointment), but the bear attack doesn’t happen until the very end and is nowhere near as brutal as the one in Backcountry.  Instead, this is more of a survival story/psychological thriller that should be more appreciated as such.  There is a twist at the end, not novel at all, but I wasn’t expecting it here and that’s probably because I was more focused on that anticipated animal attack.  This isn’t a bad movie at all, it’s actually a pretty decent one; just go in expecting a psychological thriller (as I’ve said) with some beautiful scenery and you might think the bear attack at the end is the final reward.  P.S.  Check out Backcountry too if you haven’t already.  10/16/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Fractured  >>>OK

   (Netflix)

Mayday  >>>EH

The Ninth Passenger  >>>OK

Purgatory Road  >>>OK

---Sean O.
10/16/2019

Midsommar/In the Tall Grass

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Midsommar                                                                 OK/G

The director, Ari Aster, was also behind last year’s Hereditary which I thought was overrated but still didn’t dislike it (you can read my review for it in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com; click on January under 2019).  I didn’t dislike this either.  For the most part.  It is almost 2 ½ hours and certainly feels so, so you definitely need patience.  Knowing it was marketed as a horror movie, I knew something sinister was behind this outwardly peaceful Swedish cult community, as should anyone that’s seen similar movies.  Some of it is predictable as well (again, if you’ve seen movies before it will be).  Aside from needing the aforementioned patience though, the film generally had my attention until it got too bizarre towards the end (never thought I’d say that).  The conclusion appeared to be weird just for the sake of being weird and instead of making me think back to prior events, it just made me want to read Wikipedia’s synopsis to see if I missed something (which I did do and it did provide some info that I failed to pick up while watching).  Perhaps it was too much to take in the first time?  It’s happened before so perhaps.  Ari Aster definitely knows how to make movies with an apparent love for the horror genre, but perhaps his next film will be his crowning achievement in my opinion?  Perhaps.  10/9/2019

In the Tall Grass                                                         OK/G

An adapted film based on a short story by Stephen King available on Netflix?  I had to see it.  I never read the short story which he co-authored with his son, Joe Hill, but that’s about to change since a collection containing it (Full Throttle) recently became available at my local library.  Initially it was only available in e-book format and I haven’t given in to the modern way of reading as long as the print versions are still available (I’m old-fashioned that way), or I wait until they are in cases like this.  Anyway, this adaptation was directed by the guy behind Cube and the same concept is very much apparent here---a group of people are stuck somewhere (here, tall grass) with no easy way out (initially).  You’ll likely be reminded of Children of the Corn as well (at least I was), although there’s tall grass instead of corn and no murderous kids.  I originally thought it was going to be lame with just a few characters stuck in this very limited and confined setting (the action exits the tall grass for a bit, but takes place in it roughly 80% of the time), but it does get a bit bizarre (we are in King territory after all and the apple doesn’t stray too far from the tree either).  There are no direct answers when all is said and done, but there is closure (sort of) and I took a little something from it.  I still think there’s more to this world than what we were presented with though.  Perhaps the short story will provide more information?  It may not be the greatest King-based film I’ve seen, and there’s many fitting that list, but it’s still decent enough to check out as I would imagine fans are apt to do anyway.  10/6/2019

Bonus review:

Creeped Out:  Season Two                                         OK

Being a fan of the first season of this modern Are You Afraid of the Dark? (not the new series either), meaning a horror anthology series geared more towards the younger crowd, I hate to say this second season wasn’t as impressive (read my review of the first season in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com; click on January under 2019).  That still doesn’t mean I don’t look forward to watching anthology films/shows and won’t ever stop watching them.  Roxanne Benjamin put it best in regards to horror anthologies in a recent Fangoria article in that “there’s a first act and a third act, and there’s not really a second act.”  In other words, all the filler is eradicated from these stories that wouldn’t last a feature film; it seems some feature films should take that approach though as well.  Anyway, this season had 10 episodes instead of 13 like the previous season (technically 12 since one was a two-parter), all under a half-hour.  The best of the bunch this time include a revenge tale utilizing an Irreversible approach (“Tilly Bone”), a Chopping Mall-ish one involving a mechanical Santa (“Splinta Claws”), a Black Mirror-ish episode involving modern technology that dangerously controls everything in our lives (“Help”), and one that might appall those with any kind of entomophobia (“Itchy”) which actually had a clever resolution before the inevitable cliffhanger.  Some of the segments were just okay, including a Twilight Zone-ish tale involving parallel dimensions at a hotel (“The Many Place”), a progressive yet standard “be careful what you wish for” story with an ironic twist ending (“The Takedown”), and one that’s a blatant Breakfast Club rip-off with a demon added (“The Unfortunate Five”).  And, of course, there were some less than okay entries---an evil baby tale where the adults obviously don’t believe the older sibling (“Only Child”), one involving a dangerous app (“No Filter”), and one where playing video games somehow enables one kid to travel ahead in time (“One More Minute”).  Again, I wasn’t so crazy about this season as much as last; none were exactly spectacular (“Itchy” being my personal favorite though) and none were entirely detestable, but I still expected them to be better as a whole.  As I also stated, I still anticipate watching horror anthologies (film and TV) and generally enjoy when I do watch them.  That being said, I will watch any more seasons they decide to make with this series; I just hope there’re better pickings next time.  10/9/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Fanatic  >>>B/EH

Slaughterhouse Rulez  >>>EH/OK

The Standoff at Sparrow Creek  >>>OK

---Sean O.
10/10/2019

Anna and the Apocalypse

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Anna and the Apocalypse                                            OK/G

Another zombie movie?  Yes, indeedy.  It’s also a Christmas movie (at least it takes place during the season, but that absolutely makes it count).  It’s also a musical (some songs wouldn’t be out of place in a Disney tween musical; some catchy).  It’s also a teen movie.  It takes place in Scotland.  So who exactly is this movie for?  It was marketed towards horror fans as a zombie Christmas musical and I imagine horror fans are rather open-minded in terms of the genre (I know I am, to a degree).  It’s ultimately a zombie movie, but there’re enough songs to make it just as much of a musical.  It’s fun and gory (there’s a bowling alley too), but it is a fairly standard zombie movie in that regard (aren’t the majority of them, if not all, anymore?).  I will let time dictate whether this becomes a cult classic though, especially during the holiday season, and I might like it better a second time (or third) if so.  For now though, I will say it’s the best Scottish zombie Christmas musical teen movie I’ve seen.  10/2/2019

Bonus reviews:

Scooby-Doo! Return to Zombie Island                        EH/OK

I did watch Scooby-Doo growing up and I do remember enjoying it.  I do think the cartoons are a rather tame way of introducing youngies to the horror genre (sort of).  As for the animated movies, I haven’t even seen half of them, if that.  The ones I have seen I don’t expect much and take them for what they are; most being nothing special but decent if you don’t mind and are familiar with the Scooby-Doo paradigm.  However, my favorite animated movie, and the one that stands out, is this film’s predecessor, Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island, which I doubt I would’ve even seen had I not come across its title in a book I own called Zombie Movies: The Ultimate Guide by Glenn Kay.  I hate to say it, but, like most sequels, this wasn’t as good as the first one.  Not nearly as good at that.  It was actually unnecessary in the sense it appeared to be a typical cash grab since fans of the first one and/or Scooby-Doo fans in general are expected to, and likely will (yours truly included), tune in.  There’s a twist halfway through that actually ruins the movie and made me lose interest in the remainder (barely 80 minutes altogether though).  There is a quick refresher as to what happened in the last film for those that may have forgotten or haven’t seen it, but I suggest you just watch Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island if you haven’t already and then watch this only if you absolutely feel the need to and/or have a free Redbox code like I did (I’ve noticed animated Scooby-Doo movies are rarely ever free On Demand).  10/2/2019

Two Sentence Horror Stories:  Season One                OK

This is an anthology series that somehow bypassed me when it premiered on The CW at the beginning of August.  I guess it won’t be advertised for the channel as much if it’s not Riverdale or a superhero show.  Or perhaps no one but people like me really cares about anthology shows, especially horror, anymore.  Each one of these 9 episodes (the last one consisting of three separate segments) begins with a sentence and another sentence is added to that one at the end, hence two sentence horror stories.  Since it was an anthology series, and to be in line with the concept, I’ll give each episode a two sentence review:

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Gentleman

Neat twist at the end.  Rather lame relationship story before that though.

Squirm

A bit of suspense in the first three-quarters.  Kind of a lame comeuppance conclusion in the vein of Tales from the Crypt.

Legacy

This one actually had a few creepy moments, making it one of the better episodes.  There’s a twist and sort of a sappy-ish conclusion, although still not entirely a happy one when completely over.

Hide

This had a Strangers vibe.  I still kind of enjoyed it though.

Scion

Rather unoriginal tale involving a cancer treatment center containing a staff with a sinister agenda.  Still decent though, I guess, and points for representation.

Tutorial

Lame entry in which characters aren’t who they initially appear to be.  Too satirical (ineffectively at that) and stale for me.

Only Child

Nothing special about this one involving demons and Haitian voodoo, nor is there really any satisfying payoff.  I didn’t realize we live in a time where people side with their kids over their parents either.

Little Monsters

No, this isn’t a remake of that Fred Savage movie.  Instead, it’s a simple (and just okay) story involving resourceful kids protecting themselves from adult cannibal demons in their urban environment.

Trilogy

a) Ma

Bland tale reminiscent of Carrie and Psycho.  Just watch those two movies instead; the originals of course!

b) Guilt Trip

So-so entry initially involving modern issues before throwing a curveball.  I was slightly reminded of “The Hitchhiker” segment in Creepshow 2, as well as a Masters of Horror episode (Incident On and Off a Mountain Road) towards the end, even though this wasn’t really like those at all.

c) Singularity

I was glad the transgender community was represented, but this one perplexed the shit out of me and left me feeling 100% unsatisfied.  Probably my least favorite segment of this season.

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In conclusion, it wasn’t the greatest anthology series I’ve seen; none were exactly phenomenal, many were just okay, but at least they were only a half-hour (even less without commercials; they’re all currently available on Netflix already) with the exception of the last one obviously since it was three tales in one; there’s a very diverse cast in regards to race, gender, sexuality, and gender identity too.  If more seasons are made, I will keep tuning in despite having low expectations.  What can I say?  I like watching anthology shows (and movies), especially horror ones.  9/28/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Aladdin (2019)  >>>OK

A.M.I.  >>>OK

The Dark Side of Midnight  >>>OK

Hide and Go Shriek  >>>OK

In the Shadow of the Moon  >>>OK/G

            (Netflix)

St. Agatha  >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
10/3/2019