I Like Moobies

Monday, April 22, 2024

Late Night with the Devil/You'll Never Find Me

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Late Night with the Devil OK

The new horror movie lauded by many so far, Stephen King and Kevin Smith included, Smith labeling it ‘Rosemary’s Baby meets Network.’ Well, Stephen King (as much as I love the man) recommends a lot of things I don’t agree with (not that I disliked the TV movie remake of The Shining, but he preferred that to the original Kubrick version), and, no Mr. Smith, this is nothing like Rosemary’s Baby just because the Dark Lord is involved (said Roman Polanski film probably being one of the best Satanic flicks out there; yes, I like it better than The Exorcist and The Omen). This is yet another one of those overhyped films, because my expectations weren’t quite matched when all was said and done. Did I dislike it? No. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t engaged for a good deal of the time, but part of me thinks that might’ve been due to anticipating what would eventually transpire. It takes place on a talk show in the Seventies on Halloween night (that right there is a plus given I adore entertainment from that decade as well as the holiday), presented as if it’s an actual episode airing live (in addition to what goes on during commercial breaks). The guests include someone that speaks with the dead, a skeptic, and a young girl that was the sole survivor of a tragedy involving a Satanic cult. You don’t need Horror Movies 101 to tell you something will eventually go down (and do you really think the skeptic won’t be proven wrong by the end?). Typical possession flick tropes ensue (an exorcism, a sudden inexplicable death, etc.) before the finale, which wasn’t terrible, but wasn’t exactly grand either. I read of a possible, but unconfirmed, sequel which I might be okay with considering there’s likely more to the story here; it could make this seem better as a companion piece. 4/20/2024

You’ll Never Find Me G

Australian horror film taking place in one primary location with just two primary characters. The setting is a trailer in a trailer park on a stormy night, which is a great setup that gives the film an eerie aura. A middle-aged man lives in this trailer alone. One night, late too, a younger girl knocks on his door asking to be let in from the storm after running from a nearby beach. He reluctantly lets her in. He can’t drive her anywhere and has no phone, but there is a pay phone on the other side of the trailer park behind a locked fence. But, you know, the storm outside is dangerous. The girl can leave whenever she wants, the man even telling her she doesn’t have to stay, but something always prevents her from doing so (the menacing storm just one excuse). Who is the one that needs to be cautious you’ll wonder. Movies 101 (as well as history) tell us the girl most likely, but there have been Hard Candy instances too, so either one of them could be in danger. The revelations aren’t completely shocking, but it does get a bit bizarre once they hit; there shouldn’t be too many different interpretations though (before you choose to look up spoilers afterwards). I think they managed well in making this work with just one location and two characters (that’s not to say you might not get impatient at all during its roughly 100-minutes though). I liked this one. I see potential cult status. 4/20/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Creeps (2023) >>>EH

History of Evil >>>G

Lord of Misrule >>>EH/OK

Megalomaniac >>>EH

(In French with subtitles)

Migration (2023) >>>OK/G

Mute Witness >>>OK/G

The Stranger (2024) >>>OK

Summoning Sylvia >>>OK

---Sean O.

4/22/2024

Friday, April 12, 2024

Prey

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Prey EH/OK

Many movies have this title, as a search on All Movie will confirm. One, from 2007 (directed by Darrell Roodt), also involves lions; a very underrated natural horror movie, I might add. This one stars Ryan Phillippe and Emile Hirsch; Mena Suvari appears too. Ryan and Mena play an American couple working somewhere in Africa before they must flee from terrorists coming after them. They board a rickety-ass plane flown by Emile’s character along with other passengers and end up crashing due to a weight problem. Unfortunately they crash in an area populated by wild game, namely lions. There are other animals as well as local humans these survivors must contend with while staying in place or trying to reach a nearby village. This was well-shot and started off really well, there being great location shots and an encroaching sense of dread, but I ended up being bored more than having fun. The attacks, when they do actually happen (which isn’t often), all occur offscreen. Real lions were used, but, come on, this was made in 2024, and if you can afford at least three famous faces (maybe not so much anymore, but still), you could’ve provided us with some attacks we actually see! And the ending seemed a bit too spiritual, thus didn’t work for me. It’s not the worst movie I’ve seen, but there are worthier lion attack movies out there; the aforementioned Prey from 2007 being one, as well as The Ghost and the Darkness, and even Beast (my review for that is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/10/beastdahmerhellraiser.html). 4/11/2024

Bonus review:

Dolly Deadly

I would’ve never heard of this film from 2016 had it not been mentioned in a recent Fangoria article. It involves a young boy living with his grandmother and her lazy man in a trailer because of what happened to his mother as a baby (which you will see), and let’s just say this boy doesn’t have the best life; eventually those around him won’t be so lucky. It is obviously low-budget, but it is ambitious (I guess); it is bizarre AF (or “absolutely bonkers,” as the writer of the aforementioned article put it), filled with idiosyncratic characters, depraved even (it does take place in a trailer park, after all), but it is one of those bad movies begging to be seen at least once (I was curious as to where it was all going). That’s not necessarily a recommendation either…4/10/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Drive-Away Dolls >>>EH

Everwinter Night >>>OK

Festival of the Living Dead >>>OK

(Tubi)

Personal Shopper >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

4/12/2024

Saturday, April 6, 2024

Lisa Frankenstein

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Lisa Frankenstein OK/G

Yet another film taking place in the ‘80’s (1989 here). Sure, lots of good things (music, movies) came from that decade, but it seems like modern movies occurring during the era try to be more Eighties than the actual Eighties were. This horror-comedy captured the time period well enough (the soundtrack, for the most part, is great); it is a little bit Tim Burton, a little bit John Hughes, a little bit My Boyfriend’s Back, and a little bit May (which was itself a variation of Frankenstein), but basically a “rom-com with zombie (singular),” as opposed to Shaun of the Dead being a “rom-com with zombies (plural).” Lisa is a teenage girl without much of a social life that ends up hanging out with a zombie boy (you do learn how he’s resurrected) whose tombstone she visited often in a local cemetery. He seems pretty composed for being dead since 1837. I can usually overlook logic though when watching movies, especially since this is indeed a zombie film. [How did he know how to drive a car right away? I don’t think there were cars before 1837. I guess the same way we don’t know how Michael Myers knew how to drive a car in the original Halloween either]. The comedy doesn’t always work, especially in the beginning, but most of the violence is passable (considering it’s only rated PG-13). I definitely didn’t dislike this film, nor did I love it, but there is something slightly appealing about it despite feeling derivative (what do you expect from an Eighties-set movie released in 2024?); it did seem a bit short too, even at roughly 100-minutes. 4/3/2024

Bonus reviews:

Slay OK/G

Four drag queens end up at a small town bar in the middle of nowhere after an accidental booking (I don’t remember getting an exact location, although I think I heard Denver mentioned once, but it was filmed in South Africa). This small town bar contains patrons resembling stereotypical close-minded small town types that (unsurprisingly) don’t take too kindly to these drag queens performing there. They are the least of each other’s problems though before a newly-turned vampire arrives and “recruits” other creatures of the night, making this To Wong Foo meets From Dusk Till Dawn (I sensed a bit of a Feast vibe too). This actually wasn’t too bad, considering it was a Tubi exclusive (meaning free, with ads) and didn’t receive too much media coverage. You do get to know a good deal of the characters real well and there’s enough vamp action; the use of one primary location works well too. I didn’t love it, but it’s a fairly decent addition to the bloodsucker subgenre, as well as queer representation. 3/27/2024

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (Taylor’s Version)

“Taylor’s Version” is the one available on Disney+, labeled such because it includes a few more songs than the theatrical release. It is roughly three hours (comprising material from every one of her albums, hence the Eras, and is solely a Taylor Swift concert its entire length, no interviews or montages throughout) with about 30-minutes of acoustic performances after the credits. Am I a Swiftie? No, not at all, but she does have some good tunes. Why would I bother with this three hour concert film of hers? She is currently a big deal (let’s face it, as good as Travis Kelce may or may not be at football, he wouldn’t be in the spotlight nearly as much if he wasn’t dating her), and I’ll likely never attend one of her concerts in person. Plus, I wouldn’t have bothered if I disliked her, which I don’t (I do have a very eclectic musical taste, listening to mostly everything besides country and R&B, but even liking some songs here and there from those genres). Concerts may be cool and all, but many times I would rather watch them at home; that way, I can avoid crowds and adjust the volume to my liking (plus take breaks, like I did here); you also have the best view this way. The sold-out concert for the titular tour featured here took place in L.A. on the last night of the U.S. run. There didn’t appear to be any intermissions as Taylor played straight through amongst different sets alongside dancers and musicians. I did like some of the songs performed, ones I knew and ones I didn’t; some I just felt indifferent, also for ones I knew and ones I didn’t. I did have to watch it in three separate segments, as a little past the hour mark was a bit too much for me at a time (I’m sure an actual Swiftie, like my nieces, would tell you otherwise though). I didn’t give this a rating, because it is strictly for Swifties, or even just the casual fans, which consists of a diverse group of people based on the audience members (I heard more than one F-bomb uttered by the singer---I thought she was for all ages!). I wasn’t converted to a Swiftie after watching, but at least I can now say I “saw” her in concert. 3/25/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Dead Hot (Season One) >>>OK

(Tubi; 6 episodes)

Don’t Look Away >>>B

Easter Bloody Easter >>>EH/OK

Mall >>>EH

Night Swim >>>OK

Wish (2023) >>>OK

---Sean O.

4/6/2024

Saturday, March 23, 2024

There's Something in the Barn

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There’s Something in the Barn OK/G

I know its three months past Christmas, but this just became available on Netflix and I wanted to see it and wasn’t waiting until next holiday season! In it, an American family of four move to Norway to live in a house the man inherited from his uncle that passed away (you see what happens to him in the beginning; and yes, there are subtitles sometimes, not most of the time though). Behind this house is a (wait for it…) barn, and in this barn dwells a barn elf (the Something of the title), a pint-sized creature resembling a mini-Santa Claus, or just one of the Seven Dwarfs. You see, if you treat this barn elf right, it will treat you right (i.e. shovel a walkway for you), but if you treat it wrong, you better watch out! There are certain rules the son is given to avoid treating it wrong, plus he’s told something he can do to placate it on Christmas Eve, but I think it needs no saying that rules are broken, being this is a horror-comedy. This really wasn’t as bad as it could have been, reminding me of films like Gremlins and Rare Exports, and also of Krampus and A Christmas Horror Story at times. I felt there were times violence was held back by implying it, but there’s still some of the red stuff (surely earning its R-rating, in addition to some bad language), and it may totally feel tonally inconsistent in the grand scheme of things, between being a cozy holiday flick and a horror-comedy, but I enjoyed it enough. I’m not saying it’s going to become an annual watch, but I might revisit it once every two or three years during the actual Yuletide season; it just isn’t the same watching holiday movies, horror or not, any other time of the year...3/21/2024

Bonus reviews:

Mean Girls EH/OK

It sure doesn’t seem like it’s been 20 years since the release of the original film, a film that’s one of the few worthy teen movies released after the Nineties. This remake/update/variation/whatever was written by Tina Fey, who also wrote and made an appearance in the original (she makes an appearance here too, as do at least two others from the original). Apparently there’s a Broadway musical of Mean Girls which this film is based, but, since the musical is based on the 2004 film (needless to say), everything happens exactly the same right down to exact quotes used. Yeah, there are a few differences, the biggest obviously being the musical parts, which aren’t as cringe-inducing as one would think, some even a bit catchy, but I think they would appeal most to those that are fans of Disney Channel musicals and such. Updating scenes with musical numbers may seem innovative, as opposed to a strictly regular teen movie remake, but perhaps it should be kept on the stage. As far as films go, I say stick to the original; it is much more fetch! 3/5/2024

Mary Had a Little Lamb EH/OK

Another childhood property bitten by the horror bug! There is a lady named Mary who lives deep in the woods with an adult son she calls her “little lamb.” This “little lamb” dons a lamb head and kills people. Yup, this is a backwoods horror flick and would be a very typical one had it not incorporated the famous nursery rhyme. What am I saying? It’s still typical. In it, a group of people travel to these woods due to a recent disappearance they want to look into for their radio program that covers cold cases. After getting lost, they stumble across this house that plainly screams Horror Movies 101 and enter it because the door is slightly ajar! There are some more dimwitted clichés too. While we’re on the topic of clichés, here’s another---the car conveniently doesn’t start when it needs to! Last Chance Lance in the latest issue of Rue Morgue stated this film was “better than it had any right to be!” No, I’ll say it wasn’t as atrocious as it could’ve been. Most of the violence is passable, and the isolated location (particularly woods) is always a welcome setting for the genre (read: fitting); plus there’s a somewhat worthy homage to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre at the end (a movie these films will always try to emulate!), but, like I said, without the integrated titular nursery rhyme elements, this is an indistinguishable backwoods horror flick. 3/16/2024

Die’ced EH/OK

Saw on a social media post (Dread Central) that this slasher film was being compared to Terrifier (you can read my review for both films in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/06/mooby-reviews-61318.html, and here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/terrifier-2.html), so it piqued my curiosity. Plus, I’m always up for checking out a new slasher film. [It is available on Tubi, meaning free for anyone with a Wi-Fi connection]. I can definitely see the comparison, from the killer’s mannerisms (plus, he doesn’t speak) to very similar scenes, right down to the use of a warehouse. The director himself, Jeremy Rudd (director of only one other film, according to IMDb), commented on that aforementioned post, “Terrifier definitely influenced some ideas for my film…All ideas stem from somewhere.” That last statement is undoubtedly correct; almost everything entertainment-related released anymore is going to feel derivative; it’s whether or not you enjoy the ride momentarily. Sure, this is no masterpiece (hell, its primary influence wasn’t exactly either), far, far from it, but I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s all the way at the bottom of the barrel either. In it, a mental patient is mistakenly released from an institution, thus beginning a killing spree on Halloween in the year 1987 (the soundtrack occasionally very fitting for the time), all while donning a scarecrow costume he snatched from his first victim. Most of the violence is actually not bad (read: could’ve been worse) considering the obvious low-budget. I sort of enjoyed it in the beginning despite its blatant cribbing and occasional technical flaw (i.e. background noise overpowering dialogue), but it gradually feels underwhelming by the conclusion, and I’m not sure if the very scant length was a factor (it’s barely an hour, 50-minutes, to be exact, with 10-minutes of snail-paced end credits). Apparently there is going to be a sequel, because the director stated “Die’ced 2 will be much better with a much bigger budget” in that aforementioned comment. Okay, we’ll see…3/16/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Anatomy of a Fall >>>EH/OK

(Mostly in French with subtitles)

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret >>>OK/G

The Blackening >>>EH/OK

Bottoms >>>EH

Horror in the High Desert >>>OK/G

Horror in the High Desert 2: Minerva >>>OK

Joy Ride (2023) >>>EH/OK

Malum >>>OK

Mercy Road >>>OK

Poor Things >>>OK

Raging Grace >>>OK/G

The Royal Hotel >>>EH/OK

Seconds (1966) >>>OK

The Tourist (Season Two) >>>OK

(6 episodes)

War Pony >>>OK/G

Your Lucky Day >>>OK/G

---Sean O.

3/23/2024

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Bad CGI Gator

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Bad CGI Gator OK

At least they were upfront with the title of this roughly 58-minute film. [A feature film, according to at least three different institutions, runs longer than 40-minutes; SAG, however, states a movie must be at least 60-minutes. Therefore, SAG would consider this a short film]. There was another movie called Bad CGI Sharks (my review for it is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/04/sharksploitation-time.html), but this wasn’t created by the same people, much like Cocaine Bear and Cocaine Shark weren’t from the same people. The plot? A group of college kids (three boys, three girls) go to a cabin by a lake somewhere in Southern Georgia (filmed in Atlanta and somewhere in Ohio) and are gradually eaten by the titular creature. Is the CGI gator actually bad? Why, of course! Would the filmmakers lie to us? It isn’t the worst I’ve seen though, and I’ve seen my fair share of these types of movies wherein the creators were likely attempting to make a serious feature (the rest of the film is actually well-shot, there being worthy POV and location shots). The gator starts off small, and what causes it to grow is laughably ridiculous, resultantly obtaining other abilities as well somehow. I found myself LOL-ing a couple times due to the utter (and obviously expected) asinine-ery presented. Am I recommending this? I don’t think recommend is exactly the right word, because the curious (like moi) are strictly going to watch it out of curiosity, so, I guess if you don’t mind watching cheesy natural horror flicks with bad CGI that you know are going to be bad beforehand, it wouldn’t hurt to check it out at least once (it will only take up barely an hour of your time to quell that curiosity!). One thing is certain…I definitely enjoyed this more than the three-hour film also reviewed in this blog entry, and that was/is nominated for so many praiseworthy awards! 2/26/2024

Bonus review:

Oppenheimer B

Movies like this are why I would get fired if writing for a major publication. I remember hearing about a critic being fired for penning a positive review for Gigli when it came out, a film that was panned by the majority. This movie is nominated for 13 Oscars, including Best Picture, having already won other awards (i.e. Critics’ Choice, Golden Globes, etc.). Well, guess what? I hated it. I don’t much care for what the Oscars say anyway, judging from past nominees and winners, but it does make one curious when a movie is praised by so many (hence the only reason I even bothered with this movie I had no interest in). [In regards to the other contenders for Best Picture I’ve seen thus far…Barbie was overrated (review in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/10/dark-harvest.html); Killers of the Flower Moon was much too slow (3 ½ hours too!) and basically just reiterated everything we already sat through at the end; I did like The Holdovers, didn’t love it, but liked it and might revisit it sometime in the future during the holiday season; Past Lives was decent too; this was, by far, the worst of the bunch though]. Don’t get me wrong, I do like learning about history (for the most part), and I do like biopics, they probably being my favorite form of nonfiction (usually I prefer ones of those I’m even just a bit interested in, but I like to think I’m a little open-minded, and I don’t mind learning something new). All I knew about this Mr. Oppenheimer (played by Cillian Murphy here) beforehand was that he helped develop a bomb, one that did cause mass destruction, as well as fatalities. I wanted to turn this off after just five minutes (!), but I stuck through its roughly three-hour runtime (three hours of which I’ll never get back!) in hopes it may have gotten better, thinking of all the great things said about it. [I really wish I could just stop a movie I have no interest in finishing. Maybe one of these days my OCD won’t get the better of me. I did manage to stop watching at least three TV shows last year…]. Everything felt rushed, too many people coming and going too (many of them played by recognizable faces), and a three-hour movie should definitely not feel overstuffed, especially if long before the halfway mark! I actually didn’t fall asleep (surprisingly), but all of this just went right over my head. Currently, only 34 out of 497 critics on Rotten Tomatoes agree with me (I don’t feel so bad since it’s at least in the double-digits), and one Peter Martin nailed it with a ten ton hammer---“I felt like I was stuck in a classroom for three hours while a series of learned professors lectured me, hectoring me for being stupid, unable to understand or grasp the meaning of a Very Important Subject.” I have a feeling this is going to win a couple awards on March 10, likely even Best Picture, but I really don’t care. I hated, hated, hated this movie. 2/25/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

AlRawabi School for Girls (Season Two) >>>G

(Netflix; 6 episodes; In Arabic with subtitles)

Blue Steel (1990) >>>OK

Cat Person >>>OK

The Dirty South >>>OK

Lover, Stalker, Killer >>>OK/G

(Netflix)

Magnolia (1999) >>>EH

Squealer >>>OK

Tall, Dark and Dangerous >>>EH

(Lifetime)

Unlawful Entry >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

2/27/2024

Friday, February 9, 2024

Last Night at Terrace Lanes

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Last Night at Terrace Lanes OK/G

I was in when I heard this was a horror movie set at a bowling alley, written by Adam Cesare, the author of the Clown in a Cornfield books (there’s a third one coming out later this year!); I found out while watching that one of the co-directors of The Blair Witch Project was one of the producers too. The only other horror movie set at a bowling alley I can think of is Gutterballs (which I gave 3 out of 4 stars, according to my archives), and, ahem, I guess those Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama movies (my review of the second one is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/02/m3gan.html); hell, there aren’t too many movies involving bowling period (Kingpin, The Big Lebowski…I should pitch a movie or TV series set only at a bowling alley!). Anyway, was this movie actually as cool as it sounds? Kind of. As the title clearly states, the titular bowling alley is closing up for good after the night; a bunch of cult members wearing masks happen to arrive this night and slaughter everyone, obviously for cult reasons (obviously); that is, of course, except for a few survivors whom must do whatever it takes to survive while locked inside this alley. It definitely doesn’t have the highest budget and certainly isn’t without its flaws (the violence in the beginning involving internal organs being the main one---I thought it was kind of lame), but there are enough pros (at least for indiscriminate horror fans) to make it worth watching at least once. It’s barely even 75-minutes too. 2/6/2024

Bonus review:

Orion and the Dark G

DreamWorks animation available on Netflix involving a young boy (of the title) that fears many things, the dark being one of them. Dark is personified here, its very own character, and he confronts our protagonist one night, asking him to tag along to see what he does, hoping this will conquer his fear. Off they go, meeting up with other entities associated with the dark (Sleep, Quiet, Insomnia, Sweet Dreams, Unexplained Noises). Based on a book of the same name (by Emma Yarlett) and written for the screen by Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I’m Thinking of Ending Things), taking place during more than one timeline (one primarily), this movie is funny at times, imaginative too, reminding me a bit of Inside Out (not as good, no), much more than Elemental did (my review for that is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/09/the-bear-season-2.html); it is undeniably charming (gah!). Too early to say, but it might end up being a contender for the best animated feature of 2024…2/2/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

The Bell Keeper >>>OK

Chariot (2013) >>>EH

Dark Windows >>>OK

Daughter (2023) >>>EH

Fingernails >>>EH

(Apple+)

God is a Bullet >>>EH/OK

Past Lives >>>OK/G

(In Korean, and English, with subtitles)

Santa Isn’t Real >>>EH/OK

The Tourist (Season One) >>>OK/G

(Netflix; 6 episodes)

Us or Them >>>OK/G

---Sean O.

2/9/2024

Sunday, January 21, 2024

Saw X

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Saw X OK/G

Did we really need a tenth Saw film? Especially after the seventh one was titled The Final Chapter? And there’s an eleventh entry coming out later this year! I’m fine with the first seven entries, the first, second, and sixth probably being my faves, the other four being ‘take them for what they are’---I don’t dislike them, they’re simply passable. The eighth one, Jigsaw, wasn’t necessary (my review for it is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2017/11/mooby-reviews-11917.html), and the ninth one, Spiral, was even worse (review in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/07/spiral-from-book-of-saw.html); both released after “the final chapter.” This one, helmed by Kevin Greutert (also behind Saw 6 and 7), allegedly occurs between the first and second film as we follow John Kramer (Jigsaw) to Mexico in hopes of curing his cancer after receiving promises. Initially, I thought we were going to watch a character study (which one doesn’t expect when watching a Saw film), but, trust me, after John realizes he was duped by con artists, all those involved are captured and it becomes exactly what you expect from one of these movies. This sequel may not be perfect (how can it be after ten films though?), but it was better than the previous two installments, making it another passable Saw entry; most of the violence is notable (one just being a fantasy). I didn’t think it was over when it ended, even at almost 2-hours, thereby making the upcoming eleventh entry seem a bit (ahem) welcome; let’s just hope the franchise doesn’t overdo it…again! 1/20/2024

Bonus review:

Ted (Season One) OK

New series on Peacock that’s a prequel to the two films created by Seth MacFarlane (also the creator of Family Guy); more of an in-between-quel since you do see when Ted comes to life in the first film (set in the Eighties). This seven-episode installment (as it’s labeled), ranging from 33-to-50-minutes each (only the pilot is 50-minutes), takes place in the early Nineties (the main human character is played by Max Burkholder). Now, I did somewhat enjoy the two films, they being fun and funny at times (a foul-mouthed live-action teddy bear is kind of hard not to be funny though), but I still wouldn’t call myself a devotee. I was curious enough to check out this series. I basically feel the same about it---it was fun and funny at times, but it’s merely just satisfactory as a whole. Some of it just wasn’t funny, like the two parents (I just couldn’t see Alanna Ubach as a submissive housewife after playing other roles like a thug in Freeway and a crabby server in Waiting…, but that’s why it’s called acting). That’s not to say I’m indifferent towards it; I never felt like I forced myself to continue (you’d think I’d give it a higher rating because of that), and any fans of the two films are sure to enjoy it somewhat. I read nothing of any plans to take this series further, just that it was a prequel to Ted and Ted 2, but I think we may have seen enough of the titular potty-mouthed stuffie (I wouldn’t be surprised if we eventually see a spinoff of another inanimate object made sentient here though). 1/17/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Abandoned (2023) >>>OK

(In Mandarin/Thai with subtitles)

After Midnight (1989) >>>OK

Bliss of Evil >>>EH

Candy Land >>>OK

The Deeper You Dig >>>OK/G

Killers of the Flower Moon >>>EH

Satan Wants You >>>EH

Where the Devil Roams >>>OK

---Sean O.

1/21/2024

Saturday, January 6, 2024

Satanic Hispanics/Meg 2: The Trench

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Satanic Hispanics OK

Anthology film helmed by five Latin directors (only half the film, if that, is actually in Spanish with subtitles), those filmmakers being Alejandro Brugués (Juan of the Dead; Nightmare Cinema segment), Mike Mendez (The Convent; Tales of Halloween segment), Gigi Saul Guerrero (Bingo Hell; V/H/S/85 segment), Eduardo Sánchez (The Blair Witch Project), and Demián Rugna (Terrified; When Evil Lurks). In the wraparound segment, a lone survivor (played by Efren Ramirez) of a massacre in Texas is taken to a police station for questioning, which is where he tells the stories in hopes of being released before something bad is coming for him. The first one is a ghost story of sorts that left me feeling baffled, but no doubt stayed on my mind afterwards because of that. Then there’s a horror-comedy, emphasis on the comedy (thereby feeling tonally uneven), the gore being its redeeming quality, it involving a vampire that must make it home before sunrise after being reminded of daylight savings. The next one was a bit too bizarre for me, involving a native curse in Mexico. The one after that was also tonally inconsistent involving demons; it wasn’t bad, much like the vampire one, but sometimes horror and comedy just don’t mesh well (especially when a really goofy song plays during a battle). Now, about that entity coming for our protagonist in the beginning…let’s just say the interrogators should’ve heeded his warning; bloodshed surely ensues in what was probably my favorite part of the movie. Not the best anthology film, but not the worst either; probably somewhere in between, or maybe even a little above that. 12/31/2023

Meg 2: The Trench EH

The Meg was the biggest disappointment of 2018 (you can read my review for it in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/08/mooby-reviews-81218.html). My expectations weren’t exactly high for this sequel, but I was curious, especially after seeing a preview containing a T-Rex. Said scene only takes place in the beginning during a prologue. It was probably the best part of the movie. Don’t get me wrong, this does have its moments (a POV from the shark’s mouth devouring victims being one, a shark vs. giant octopus scene actually wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, and the sharks themselves, yes, plural, don’t look too bad), but nowhere near enough to recommend it. Rotten Tomatoes said it best---It isn't without its fun moments, but Meg 2: The Trench suffers from a disjointed story that drifts for too long before finally delivering a few campy thrills. One critic, as well, said, “While the action-filled climax is a delight, too much of the first two acts doesn't work.” It is largely lacking during the first half, humans being the primary evil ones, and the last third gets a little more exciting, but, again, not enough to wade through the roughly 2-hour film. This really is just a big dumb action movie, with sharks, and other creatures. 12/30/2023

Bonus reviews:

Brightwood OK

A bickering couple enter a wooded trail surrounding a lake near their house. Eventually, they inexplicably end up in a loop with no way out of this area. One of them even postulates they might be in Hell. This is basically a feature-length Twilight Zone episode. A violent one, at times. The beauty of Twilight Zone episodes though is that they are under 30-minutes; even the 1983 movie was in an anthology format. It wasn’t a bad film, I was even intrigued a decent amount, I just got a bit impatient with it (and it’s only 84-minutes). I do give it points for having a totally shocking conclusion (a grim one, at that). Don’t expect any concrete answers. 1/5/2024

Killer Kites B

Yes, the title is very literal. There are kites that kill in this film. Seriously, what will they think of next? I’m willing to give the most asinine concept a shot (as any of you that read my reviews should know) if it somehow works. Hell, I didn’t think I’d enjoy a film about killer pants, but I’ve watched Slaxx more than once (my haiku review of it is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/03/the-dark-and-wickedthe-mortuary.html). I just wasn’t diggin’ this flick co-directed by the guy that gave us another “masterpiece” entitled Sewer Gators (I have a haiku review of that in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/10/spirit-halloween-movie.html; more than one reference is made to that film here---how’s that for product placement? They managed to feature McDonald’s as well!). There were a few neat kite POV shots (maybe three, if I remember correctly), but the kills weren’t fun, nor were the effects impressive (some obviously digital). It felt a lot longer than its barely 67-minute runtime too! Again, I can suspend my disbelief (especially if it involves something like killer kites!); I just ask that it be better than this (or more fun, if you will). 1/3/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

All Fun and Games >>>EH

Beau is Afraid >>>OK

Bodies >>>EH/OK

(Netflix; 8 episodes)

Final Summer >>>EH

Grieve >>>EH

The Holdovers >>>OK/G

House of Dolls >>>EH

It Lives Inside (2023) >>>EH/OK

A Murder at the End of the World >>>EH

(Hulu; 7 episodes)

Mutt (2023) >>>OK

Possum >>>EH

Saltburn >>>B

South Park (Not Suitable for Children) >>>G

(Paramount+)

---Sean O.

1/6/2024

Saturday, December 16, 2023

Eileen

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Eileen OK/G

Noir thriller taking place in Massachusetts (filmed in New Jersey) during a bygone era (I found out it was the Sixties, but I would’ve surmised that or the Fifties). It also takes place during Christmastime, therefore it is a Christmas movie (don’t even start the whole ‘Die Hard’ debate with me either; if it takes place during or around the holiday, it is a Christmas movie!). Eileen is a single woman in her early twenties (played by Thomasin McKenzie) that works at a prison and lives at home with her alcoholic, retired-policeman father (played by Shea Whigham). One day, a female psychologist begins working at the prison, played by Anne Hathaway (embodying the femme fatale trope rather well), and the two gradually build a relationship. The film is a bit of a slow burn, but there is also something to be desired about it. It doesn’t overstay its welcome, which is usually a good thing, but it was kind of a bad thing here because I didn’t want it to be over when it was (I felt a little cheated). I had my own theory about the conclusion, but reading Anne Hathaway’s interpretation opened up my mind to one I didn’t even contemplate, making me want to watch the film again thinking back to parts where her postulations make a little sense (I might even like her conclusion a bit better than mine, however clichéd it may be). I’m curious about the book now too by Ottessa Moshfegh in which it is based (she co-wrote the screenplay as well). Expect to have discussions with those you may watch this with, or others that have also seen it. 12/12/2023

Bonus reviews:

Shaky Shivers EH/OK

Here’s an example of a film marred by the effects/creature designs. The kicker? They were all practical! I always emphasize how much I abhor digital effects, but here’s proof that practical doesn’t always work. I know, I know, there have always been crappy practical effects throughout the history of cinema long before the use of digital, even though I will always prefer them. The story here takes place in Washington State during the early Nineties and is intended to be a throwback to the practical effects-laden horror-comedies of that time. The directorial debut of Sung Kang (an actor from films like Better Luck Tomorrow, The Motel, and several of the Fast and the Furious movies), it follows two girls in their twenties that work at an ice cream shop and travel to an abandoned camp since one of them fears they’re about to turn into a werewolf after an encounter with a strange woman. There are zombies and a certain cryptid as well. The cryptid in question is one of the worst designs I’ve ever seen for it, and I personally just wasn’t a fan of the other effects (the zombie designs were too offbeat for me). I know this was intended to be a fun throwback, but it often came across as too parodical, a type of comedy I was never truly a fan of, and I didn’t think I was going to watch a parody. I actually thought it was more fun following the two girls work at the ice cream shop and converse about life, thinking I was going to love this movie at first. Plus, the story ultimately falls short since not much is done with all the elements. Sung, if you plan on directing more features, better luck tomorrow! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. With a rewrite and better effects, this could’ve been the fun throwback it was intended to be. 12/10/2023

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget EH/OK

Chicken Run was a decent stop-motion film from 2000 about chickens plotting an escape from a farm whose owners planned on turning them into pies. This recent Netflix sequel doesn’t take place much later than it (obviously not 23 years). Whereas the chickens wanted to escape a farm in the first one, this one they try breaking into one (for a reason, of course). This farm may be much more of a colorful paradise than the previously drab one in the countryside, but the chickens this time are intended to end up as fast food nuggets. Rotten Tomatoes states “there’s a general feeling of diminishing returns,” which is exactly the right description I was looking for (that site currently has a 79% rating out of 86 critics though); it is largely a remake of its predecessor that really offers nothing new aside from a few characters. It may have been harmless, but it wasn’t exactly necessary…12/15/2023

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Birth/Rebirth >>>OK

(Shudder)

Christmas Cruelty! >>>EH

(In Norwegian with subtitles)

Family Switch >>>B/EH

(Netflix)

From Black >>>OK

(Shudder)

Leave the World Behind >>>OK/G

(Netflix)

Lockdown Tower >>>EH

(In French with subtitles)

Naga >>>EH

(In Arabic with subtitles)

The Puppetman >>>EH

(Shudder)

The Sacrifice Game >>>OK

(Shudder)

Time’s Up >>>EH

---Sean O.

12/16/2023