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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated
1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going
to review every single movie I see. I’m
going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the
rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings
for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses
under the ‘About Me’ section).
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The Dark and the
Wicked G
Bryan Bertino also directed The Strangers and The Monster,
so he clearly knows how to create mood and atmosphere, and this haunted house
film set at a farm in Texas is absolutely no exception. A keen sense of dread permeates this entire
production from beginning to end. In it,
a brother and sister travel to said farm to see their ailing father and let’s
just say…stuff happens during their visit.
I could picture a devout religious person, if they even watch it, having
something to say on the film’s general themes, but I really don’t care what
they’d think; I only cared that I was thoroughly transfixed with this feature
that was indeed dark and wicked, there being no happy endings for anyone, which
was refreshing to see in a supernatural horror movie. 3/26/2021
The Mortuary
Collection G
Anthology film available on Shudder featuring Clancy Brown,
known as the evil stepfather in Pet
Sematary Two and the evil prison
guard in The Shawshank Redemption
among many other roles, as a funeral director in a small town called Raven’s
End telling stories to a potential new hire (the wraparound segment). Brown’s character states in the beginning
that “it isn’t the length of the story that matters, but the quality of the
content.” That is certainly true for any
story, especially short stories, and the first tale is a very short one that wasn’t
bad in retrospect, but wasn’t long enough to invest in, it involving a creature
behind a mirror. The second tale
involves a world in which men can get pregnant while having unprotected
sex. It may sound asinine in theory, but
it actually worked and you can probably only imagine how graphic a birth will
be. The one after that contains a man
advised by a doctor of a way to get rid of his ill wife sooner, and I probably
don’t need to say that nothing good happens as a result (hint---nothing does). The final tale involves a babysitter, there’s
even a film-within-the-film titled The
Babysitter Murders which was actually a working title for the original Halloween, with a twist I actually
didn’t figure out until close to the end, and the end reminded me of a short
story by Roald Dahl that worked here and made the segment a bit darker. That last tale ties in with the wraparound
segment and leads to a comeuppance that’s delightfully well-deserved. Overall, it’s not the greatest anthology film
I’ve seen, but it’s definitely a worthy collection. Put it this way, I didn’t dislike any of the
segments, even the first one that was too short, and that’s always a plus for
anthology films! 3/25/2021
Bonus reviews:
A Creepshow Animated
Special/Holiday Special G
Two specials part of the iconic Creepshow universe released last year on Shudder in October and
December. The October release, the Animated Special, consists of two tales
based on short stories by Stephen King and Joe Hill (his son, for those
unaware), both of which I read. King’s
story, “Survival Type,” available in Skeleton Crew was a very disturbing
tale from what I remember. This adapted
segment did it a bit of justice and might disturb those that never read the
short story, and it was fairly disturbing here, but I didn’t think it ended
quite as disturbing as the written tale did (at least it didn’t hit me the same
way). The other segment, “Twittering
from the Circus of the Dead,” based on a short story by Hill and available in The
New Dead: A Zombie Anthology (which
is the collection I believe I read it from) follows a family on vacation that
end up at a “Circus of the Dead” after taking a detour in the desert. This circus isn’t a play on words as it contains
zombies doing “acts” on initially unsuspecting victims and let’s just say
things don’t turn out so well for anyone in attendance. I wasn’t too much a fan of the animation for
both, but it was tolerable, both featuring voiceovers amongst the drawings
(that tactic would’ve worked best for “Survivor Type” anyway) and both were
worth watching. The other live-action special, Holiday Special, concerns Shapeshifters
Anonymous wherein a group of therianthropes gather weekly. Only one is a werewolf while others transform
into a cheetah, tortoise, and boar, and one is just a therianthrope at heart. Their number one enemy is a certain figure
associated with a holiday in December that we learn has a connection to the
Lord of the Underworld other than containing the same five letters in their
names. It’s a fun entry although it may
be a bit silly at times, especially in regards to when they actually shapeshift
(I was seriously reminded of Zoobilee Zoo
at first), but at least they were all practical and there is violence. I think both specials are worth watching (my
rating is for both), both being roughly 45 minutes, and, if you haven’t checked
them out yet, they’re decent appetizers before the main course release of Creepshow:
Season Two arriving shortly as of this writing and also available on
Shudder (I, for one, am looking forward to it and hope it’s as good as the
first season). 3/24/2021
Slaxx G
(haiku review)
Killer jeans.
Umm…yeah.
Campy? Obvi. Novel though.
Bloody, short, and fun.
3/25/2021
*Available on Shudder.
Currently has a 98% rating out of 57 critics on Rotten Tomatoes!*
Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):
The Block Island
Sound >>>OK
(Netflix)
Breaking News in Yuba County >>>EH
Hack O’Lantern >>>EH/OK
Into the Dark: Blood Moon >>>EH/OK
(Hulu)
It Cuts Deep >>>OK
Scare Me >>>EH/OK
(Shudder)
---Sean O.
3/26/2021
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