Daphne & Velma OK
I grew up with the Scooby
Doo cartoon and still watch some of the animated movies released. I wasn’t particularly fond of the two
live-action movies put out, so why would I care about a live-action origin
story focusing on the two chicks of the Mystery Machine gang? OCD like always! Why couldn’t they have just made an animated
origin story, preferably like the original Scooby
Doo, instead of a live-action movie?
I tried viewing it as a corny after school special type movie instead of
a modern spinoff and it isn’t as bad as I thought in that regard. It’s harmless and a decent mystery for the
younger crowd familiar with Scooby Doo
or not. As for the older crowd, Scooby Doo fans or not, now or in the
past, they’ll likely think it’s a forgettable after school special type movie
and/or unnecessary spinoff. 6/8/2018
Delirium OK/G
I love Topher Grace.
Kind of. If you don’t like him at
all, don’t even bother with this because he’s the only character for about 75%
of the time. He plays someone being
released from a mental institution after 20 years for a reason you’ll find out,
and returns to the house he lived in beforehand (not the best idea if bad
memories occurred there). He’s still
stuck in the ‘90’s as his music selection and posters will indicate, plus he
has no idea what Wikipedia is when mentioned by someone. He’s on a 30-day probation to see if he can handle
being on his own, meaning he can’t leave the house, no one is allowed in except
for his caretaker (a rule that’s naturally broken), and he has to answer a
phone call and have his picture taken twice a day. Now, being a movie titled Delirium about someone released from an
institution, I took everything with a grain of salt from the get-go. That’s not necessarily a good thing because I
question everything, formulate possible outcomes, and when it’s finally
revealed whether it was all imagined or not, I’m not sure how to feel because
the ending sometimes makes or breaks a movie like that. I did enjoy it enough amidst all the
second-guessing and the ending wasn’t too disappointing; it wasn’t fresh by a
long shot but it was kind of disturbing and made everything come together
neatly. I’ll say check it out,
especially if you like Topher Grace as well, just don’t make any predictions
and let everything unfold as you watch; it might be a better movie that way. 6/5/2018
Hereditary OK/G
I really need to stop looking forward to seeing movies
regardless of the buzz. Not only did
this movie have a bunch of hype, but it was praised and written as a feature
article in my favorite entertainment source---Rue Morgue magazine. I do always let myself be the ultimate judge,
but when multiple sources including my favorites praise a film, I do get
particularly excited. This film currently
has a 91% rating out of 186 critics on Rotten Tomatoes and five out of five stars
on All Movie. Five stars?!!!! Now that’s
stretching it. Is this movie
overrated? Possibly, but it’s not dismissible. It begins with a family grieving for more
than one reason and I actually thought that was the most effective part of the
film, containing the same combination of disturbing and depressing like Pet Sematary and the same sense of
encroaching dread like The Shining. Then it begins to introduce conventional
horror tropes---séances, possessions, everyone thinks the grieving lady is
crazy and delusional, etc.---and that’s where it begins to falter. The ending does make it all come together in
a sense, but it’s almost presented in a silly manner considering how brooding
the preceding events were. It was also
slightly derivative reminding me of at least one movie I won’t mention lest I
give something away. It’s also the type
of ending that might make the movie better the second time knowing what’s going
to happen, and for that I can’t give it a higher rating since the crucial
moment arrived too late. I did think
about the film afterwards, so that might be a plus (however you look at it). 6/12/2018
The Hollow: Season One OK/G
Ten-episode animated series from Netflix, each one barely 24
minutes. I only got interested once I
saw it mentioned on a list of horror titles being released on the streaming
service during the month of June.
Horror? Not quite. It’s more an adventure story geared towards
the young’uns that all ages can enjoy. Sure,
it contains mythological beings and evil entities, but no more menacing than
ones in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
or Powerpuff Girls episode, or even
Disney movies. In fact, an ice creature
in one episode very much resembles the evil ice creature in Disney’s Frozen.
I highly doubt anyone would be frightened by any of this. It begins with a Saw/Cube type scenario
wherein three teenagers wake up in a sealed room with zero recollection of how
they ended up there. I thought I was
going to love this series based on that first episode coming off as a mystery
possibly going to dark places. It loses
steam during the next couple episodes, completely switching gears from the
pilot by attempting a more light-hearted and comical approach. It does pick back up by the end of the fifth
episode and the big reveal, which isn’t that much of a reveal after other
clichéd theories have been exhausted by the characters, is hinted at earlier
than expected but actually doesn’t ruin the remainder of the series. It’s generally fun and the animation is
obviously modern but not too modern, meaning crappy (of course that’s a
generational opinion). It won’t hurt to
check it out if you have about four hours to spare (the beauty of Netflix is
the option to binge-watch with no commercials), just get it out of your head
that it was labeled horror by Netflix. 6/11/2018
I Kill Giants G
Highly metaphorical, yet effective, film about a middle
school girl devising imaginative ways to cope with not only bullies, but a much
more serious matter. Based on a comic
book of the same title (which I have not read), it reminded me of Where the Wild Things Are, The Iron Giant, and Bridge to Terabithia at times.
The movie alternates between fantastical, depressing, and sappily
uplifting while still managing to blend seamlessly. The creature designs, although CGI, were passable. I’m not exactly sure who the target audience
might be; there’s a bit of bad language for the younger set and many adults
might not care for the fantasy elements nor the involvement of mostly young
teen girls. The film isn’t rated
either. Well, I’m an adult male (by age
only) and I enjoyed it enough for being an engrossing, if not altogether fresh,
coming-of-age tale fused with a fantastical touch (even though I, for one, was
hoping they would’ve taken a more darker route). 6/6/2018
The Lodgers OK/G
I liked this Irish film at first, it involving a brother and
sister (twins) cursed to stay at a house away from civilization. Basically, they own the house during the day
and must stay confined in their rooms after midnight when someone or something
comes from below the floor. You do find
out who or what they are and I shant ruin it in case you want to watch. The film is very gothic, in imagery and
themes. I was somewhat reminded of The Others although that is the far
superior film. It gets loopy as fuck
towards the conclusion and I’m not entirely certain I interpreted it the right
way. If my theory is correct, the rules
pertaining to the curse are both disturbing and quite depressing, but when have
curses been particularly beneficial to those affected? I almost wish they would’ve gone a more
straightforward route; the look and setting are perfect for an old-fashioned
gothic thriller. 6/1/2018
Safe: Season One OK/G
Decent 8-episode British mystery from Netflix starring “Dexter.” I’ve only ever seen one episode of Dexter but Michael C. Hall will always
be recognized for it. Here, he lives in
a gated community where his daughter goes missing after one of her male friends
is found dead in a neighbor’s pool. As
always, no one is who they appear to be and everyone has secrets that
eventually come bubbling to the surface.
It’s often presented nonlinearly with many flashback sequences, but far
too much would’ve been revealed too early had the series been linear. I’ll admit I didn’t binge-watch at first and
almost forced myself to continue, but once I passed the halfway point, I did
want to see how it ended. There’re many
characters to keep track of but we get to know many of them, some quite
endearing which was another factor for returning. Part of my initial reluctance to continue was
due to knowing what many of the characters didn’t know yet and waiting for them
to figure it out. There’s a lot more
going on though and everything wraps up quite nicely with no loose ends, therefore
I don’t think a second season would be necessary. Being eight episodes roughly 40-45 minutes
each means the series was at least 320 minutes or 5 hours and 20 minutes, so
naturally there seemed to be filler. I
believe this might’ve still worked as a 2-hour, 3-hour at most, feature. 6/6/2018
Sheep & Wolves B
Two traditionally warring groups stay in their own
territories (eye rolls). Here, as you
may conclude, it’s sheep and wolves. Someone
from one side is suddenly condemned to live as one from the other side (eye
rolls). A wolf literally becomes a “wolf
in sheep’s clothing.” Both groups eventually
learn they can get along (eye rolls and blah, blah, blah). This offered absolutely nothing new and the
animation is terrible. I sensed bits of The Lion King thrown in too. I hated this uninspired Russian animation (you
needn’t worry about subtitles if you actually plan on watching since it has
been made into an English version). 6/1/2018
The Strangers: Prey at Night OK/G
The Strangers,
released ten years ago, was a flawed yet thoroughly enjoyable home invasion
flick. What exactly would you expect
from a sequel released ten years later? This
sequel absolutely has its flaws but delivers something much better than expected. This time, the trio of masked invaders target
a family of four staying at a trailer park resort right before the off season
(meaning no one else around and those that were, well...). It was very wise not to limit the action to
one house this time. About those
flaws---people still saying hello in unfamiliar places after hearing a noise,
authorities arriving too late and offed before they can help, mentally having
to tell characters what to do and not to do, and the most important one the
first made as well---you never separate no matter what!!! It is predictable at times too, but the film
looks great and its cold-heart is in the right place. Plus, the ‘80’s soundtrack very much works
despite deviating from the brutal subject matter. I really, really, really lean more towards G
but I can’t overlook those aforementioned clichés and don’t know if I could
sleep well at night rating it so.
Perhaps I should be picky considering ten years have passed and the knowledge
of innumerous films should’ve made the creators aware of what to avoid. Depending on what disc you watch, there’s an
alternate ending that’s a bit better
than the actual ending (which was lame), and I hate when given the option of a theatrical
or unrated version if watching for the first time. I always watch the theatrical first because
that was the one initially released upon the public, but I know which version
I’m watching in the future because maybe it’s even more brutal. Definitely a worthy follow-up, but I expect
the third one to be a masterpiece (or close to it) in 2028! 6/13/2018
Terrifier OK/G
Art the Clown, originally seen in the horror anthology, All Hallows’ Eve, in his own spinoff
film. I don’t remember much about that
film, but my archives indicate I gave it an OK/G rating, the same I’m giving
this. I was informed I didn’t have to
refresh my memory, so I didn’t, otherwise my OCD would never have allowed me to
watch this right away. Despite being a
spinoff, I don’t think you’d need any origin stories to watch a film about a
clown that kills people. That’s all Terrifier entails, nothing more, nothing
less. Art puts Pennywise to shame
(either version) and doesn’t utter a single sound, even when being harmed (Art
is to Jason/Michael Myers as Pennywise is to Freddy). The film is violent as hell when it wants to
be; one scene adds new meaning to being “sliced in half,” giving the beginning
scene in Wrong Turn 2 a hefty run for
its money. A simplistic horror movie
involving a clown brutally murdering people?
You’d think I’d love this film to the moon and back. In retrospect, I very much did. The other part of me, the critical part (or
some would say matured), wished there was at least an ounce of a plot and that
it took place in more than one primary dingy location. Also, its low-budget is still apparent
despite its high ambitions. Plus, this
goes for both victims and assailants---whenever you stab or harm someone with
the intention of escaping or killing them, make sure you actually kill them
because they’ll eventually gain consciousness and come after you! And in true slasher fashion, the seemingly
invincible villain suggests the possibility of a sequel at the end. No, this film isn’t perfect but I’d still
tell clown lovers (there isn’t a scientific term for it yet; clownophile isn’t
a word according to the internet and coulrophile denotes a sexual attraction to
clowns) to check it out; everyone else need not apply. Would I have liked it less being the same
exact movie with a different killer not necessarily a clown? Hard to say but a villain’s appearance often
very much differentiates these movies (many evil clown movies are slasher/body count films but the
clown automatically puts it in its own subgenre). Welcome to the cinematic evil clown family,
Art! 6/5/2018
The Unwilling EH
Yet another disposable non-theatrical horror release
featuring a recognizable face from the genre (Lance Henriksen) and another that
only true horror fans born before the millennium will recognize. Here’s a hint---sometimes they come back (wink,
wink) to be in movies regardless of quality simply for a paycheck or hopeful
comeback. This formulaic feature
involves six people gathering at a house for a will reading before a
Lovecraftian box mysteriously arrives which contains deadly temptations that off
them one by one. It hints at something
possibly clever towards the end, but never quite expands upon it before ending
abruptly. I am not unwilling, in the
least, to tell you to pass on this! 6/3/2018
Vazante EH
Brazilian film set in 1821 revolving around European slave
owners and their African slaves. Yeah,
it happened in South and Central America as well as North America. Many people don’t seem to acknowledge that
those we call Latino/Hispanic are actually of European, African and American
Indian descent, one or a combination of two or all three. They are labeled Latino/Hispanic, regardless
of race, by the U.S. government when they come to the states. Anyway, back to this extreme slow burn of a
film based on post-Columbian Brazilian history.
The synopsis I gave in the first sentence is essentially all this film
entails in addition to members from both sides sleeping around with those they
shouldn’t (at least of the time). I have
absolutely nothing against historical films with messages, I actually like
learning more about history through films, but at least make it interesting. This was no more compelling than reading a chapter
in a history book without detailed information.
6/12/2018
---Sean O.
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