The Chilling
Adventures of Sabrina OK/G
Ten-episode series available on Netflix based off the comic
book of the same name. It is essentially
a darker reimagining of Sabrina the
Teenage Witch taking place in the same universe as Riverdale (the town is mentioned but no crossovers that I know
of). I never got into that Melissa Joan
Hart series since I thought I was too old for it, or “too cool” possibly. I’ve only seen bits and pieces of it, not an
entire episode from memory, but the only things that appear to be similar for
this series are that there’s a teenage girl named Sabrina who lives with two
aunts, they’re witches, and there’s a black cat (he doesn’t talk in this series
though). Now, initially I actually stopped
after the first episode since I thought it was going to be a corny (not in the
good way mind you) teenybopper Harry
Potter-ish series involving witches (that’s probably why I didn’t stick
with the aforementioned Riverdale
since it started to feel like a corny teenybopper version of Twin Peaks). After reading a review for it in Rue
Morgue though, and someone in a Facebook group informing me it gets better
and less corny, I decided to give it another shot. Well, they were right, kind of. It does get better that’s for sure, less
corny too, and a bit darker at times.
While it does contain dark subject matter (murder, cannibalism,
resurrection, devil worship, covens), there still seems to be an underlying teenybopper
aspect making me wonder who this series is exactly for. Horror fans may be turned off by the
teenybopper-ness while teenyboppers may be turned off by the violence and dark
subject matter. I, for one, do love my
horror (as you all should know) and like a good teenybopper story in the right
measure; they have to complement each other at least decently if conjoined
though. There was a decent amount to
enjoy here, I think the “dream demon” episode was the most fun, and there was a
certain kind of appeal to make me continue watching. The first episode is the worst one (as implied
above) and I enjoyed this way more than any parts I’ve seen of Melissa Joan
Hart’s Sabrina if that’s any
indication?; just make sure you’re ready to commit to ten roughly one-hour
episodes (that actually go by pretty fast) if you decide to watch. 11/26/2018
Distorted EH
I’m not sure if the title refers to the flashing images
occasionally appearing onscreen or the film’s general disorganization. Clearly something traumatic happened to this
girl (played by Christina Ricci) as we’re consistently presented with the same
images in flashbacks. Clearly there is
also a conspiracy going on involving the people in her life. While the traumatic event isn’t fresh at all when
revealed, I didn’t expect it, but I also didn’t care about the movie before
that too much either. I think I
understood what else was really going on too, but it seemed loopy and I felt
the execution was all half-assed, making the film feel empty and leaving me
cold. Clearly this was just a paycheck
for Christina Ricci and John Cusack. 11/30/2018
The Domestics OK
Yet another post-apocalyptic movie. This time it’s caused by a poisonous black
gas via planes that kill off a good chunk of the population (North American at
least) and those left alive either become (ahem) domestics or gang
members. Yeah, no zombies or infected
people in this one (like I Think We’re
Alone Now reviewed below), just gangs; there’re names for them too. A straight couple with complications before
the incident decide to travel to Milwaukee from somewhere to the northwest of
it (based on a map) to see the girl’s parents after losing communication with
them, and to hopefully heal their relationship in the process. Along the way, they come across other
domestics and the aforementioned gangs.
This pretty much has the look and feel of a Mad Max or Purge movie
with a dash of The Warriors. It is never exactly boring with plenty of
action and didn’t appear cheaply made at all, but I think it’ll be better for
those seeing this type of movie for the first time, whereas people like me
having already seen their fair share of similar movies will think it’s just okay
(hence my rating). 11/28/2018
Eli Roth’s History of
Horror G
Seven-episode documentary series on AMC (one hour each give
or take) hosted by filmmaker Eli Roth featuring other filmmakers and actors in
the horror genre talking about and giving their personal opinions on specific
films. The episodes cover zombies,
slashers (in two parts), demons, killer creatures, vampires and ghosts in that
order. While the films discussed and
analyses given are absolutely nothing I haven’t heard or read before (I would
actually be surprised if there is a new approach to the topic(s) considering
everything already out there), it’s still fun to see different people talk
about them, especially if you’re a fan of any of the talking heads or have a
general interest in the subject matter (like I obviously do). It also made me want to re-watch many of the
movies discussed, as is always the case when I read about or hear them
mentioned. I do think there could’ve
been more than seven episodes (they obviously didn’t cover the entire genre),
but perhaps I’m getting too far ahead of myself and more are planned? If you decide to watch, hopefully you’ll be
able to fast-forward the commercials since there seemed to be a break like every
ten minutes (if that)! 11/26/2018
Feral EH
A group of people go into the woods but instead of a masked
psycho taking them out one by one, it’s a creature looking like a clothed Descent-ish being. This creature contains a virus that enables its
victims to resurrect as one of them.
Does that make them zombies then?
They only attack at night too.
Does that make them vampires then?
The remaining members manage to hole up in a cabin nearby owned by a man
that rescued them. Of course this man
knows about these creatures and what happens when you’re attacked, but
naturally no one is going to believe this “untrustworthy” man living alone in
the woods until it’s too late. Whatever,
this movie was no Evil Dead, Dog Soldiers, or 28 Days Later among others, but it definitely reminded me of much
better movies. 11/30/2018
I Think We’re Alone
Now OK/G
…There doesn’t seem to
be anyone around…I couldn’t help singing the popular Tiffany song, as
should anyone aware of it. The same goes
for any time I see/hear the title of a song or specific lyrics in any
regard. No, that Tiffany song wasn’t
played once in the movie from my recollection, but I did hear Rush twice. Anyway, this is yet another post-apocalyptic
movie, this time starring the famous “little person” actor, Peter Dinklage, and
Elle Fanning. Of course with all the
other post-apocalyptic films out there already, this and any others made from
here on out are going to seem unoriginal, to a point. There are no zombies or infected peeps here,
but there are plenty of dead bodies and no real explanation for the cause, but
I don’t think we really need one anymore and if the characters themselves don’t
know, I think it’s fair we don’t as well.
It is a very bleak film, but most post-apocalyptic films tend to be,
whether visually or thematically, and you do slightly warm up to the characters
even if it begins to drag and wallow in conventionality. Mr. Dinklage’s character is seemingly the
only one still alive when we first see him salvage any useful items from homes and
burying any dead bodies in a field. Of
course he can’t be the last man on Earth (as other films have proven) and
that’s where Elle’s character comes in. And
of course in a 99-minute film (especially of this sort), something will likely eventually
happen to break up the monotony. Well,
something does happen and it makes for an interesting concept (not necessarily
fresh) and an entirely different story in and of itself that I don’t think
enough time was spent on. This isn’t bad
at all though considering the incessant amount of films in the subgenre already,
especially lately. 11/27/2018
Kristy EH/OK
I saw this on a list of Thanksgiving horror movies to watch
from a Facebook post and it somehow bypassed me when it came out in 2014. Well, it does take place around Thanksgiving
and that’s the only way it would be classified as a Thanksgiving movie; it could’ve
taken place any time of the year. A
college girl, whose name actually isn’t Kristy (you’ll find out why it was
titled so), decides to stay on campus for Thanksgiving break, making her alone save
a security guard and groundskeeper. I
guess if it wasn’t Thanksgiving break, there would’ve been more people on campus,
but there’re other breaks during the college year so whatever. This isn’t really a slasher film because
there’re are four attackers (three masked, one being a hooded chick seen prior)
solely focused on killing the girl and only killing others for getting in the
way or just being present, so it’s more of a home invasion flick, or campus
invasion flick more fittingly. There is
a reason (or motive I guess you can say) for their pursuance; it involves a
website. I actually thought this was
going to be a pretty decent movie at first, but it’s at least a half hour too
long and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.
11/24/2018
The Little Stranger EH/OK
If I had no clue what this movie was about beforehand, nor
seen any previews, I would’ve initially thought this was a period drama taking
place in the U.K. I would’ve guessed the
1940’s and research tells me it took place in 1948 to be exact. It very well might’ve been a period
drama. There is a sense of menace about
it that never quite reaches its implied potential. There is a rather disturbing dog mauling
though. There are a few scattered scenes
of supernatural occurrences, but they’re brief and I expected this to strictly be
a ghost movie, or at least a gothic thriller, or a thriller; it’s too desultory.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with the movie it ended up being, it’s
just not what I expected, and it’s a bit long too. Plus, the ending is a tad baffling and
research informed me I wasn’t exactly correct in my conclusions but the intentions
were slightly more baffling while still somewhat making sense, if that even
makes any sense. 11/28/2018
Minutes to Midnight B
A group of co-workers go to a lodge in the woods to ring in
the New Year. A group of masked psychos
looking like they belong in Gwar or a Mortal
Kombat game live nearby and murder them one by one (it is eventually revealed
why masks are worn). There is violence
but it doesn’t save this crapfest one iota (the best part involved a spiked
skull but I didn’t care by then). I
hated every single character and could’ve cared less who bit the big one. Someone we meet in the beginning ends up
being in cahoots with the psychos (shocker).
One of the bound victims subsequently asks why they’re doing it (*eye
roll*). This was no fun at all. It just happens to contain one of the Baldwin
brothers and Bill Moseley, he looking like he stumbled right off the set of The Devil’s Rejects and even making a
direct reference to The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre 2 (no points for subtlety; no points for anything for that matter). If I believed in making New Year’s resolutions,
it would be to stop wasting time with garbage like this, but that isn’t a
resolution at all, just wishful thinking.
11/26/2018
Our House OK
A young guy is in the process of developing a device that
can make electricity wireless. A tragedy
occurs one night and he’s now responsible for his two younger siblings. He then works a regular job while still
toying away at this creation. Do you
think the device has a way of inadvertently bringing about the spirits of those
that passed away? Movies and stories
have always taught us that trying to bring back the dead never leads to
anything good. In the words of Judd from
Pet Sematary, “sometimes dead is
better.” Movies have also taught me that
I should believe a little kid when they say they see ghosts and/or communicate
with them. Why is it always the youngest
that can see them? Why are they never
scared either? They’re always so
nonchalant about it. And why do adults
(or anyone older for that matter) never believe them until it’s too late? I feel like I’m being a bit too lenient
giving this an OK rating, but I did like the representation of these young
siblings trying to move on after a great loss, and sensing something horrific
was likely around the corner. It does
get a bit dark towards the end, but it was too little too late and not enough
to save this from being too common. It
ends effortlessly too before closing with an image suggesting the story may not
be over. Yawn. 11/24/2018
---Sean O.
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