The Bride EH
This is basically a tamer I Spit On Your Grave ripoff involving an Apache princess reviving
and possessing a slaughtered bride to take revenge on some backwoods rednecks. The kills are kinda lame and the movie itself
is a whole lotta lame. Yawn. 12/26/2016
A Christmas Carol OK
‘Tis the season.
Here’s a black-and-white version from 1938 I never saw before. I added it to my queue upon browsing under
the holiday section. Yes, I do like
Christmas movies and not just the horror ones.
As much as I enjoy Black Christmas,
Silent Night Deadly Night and Jack Frost, I also enjoy Home Alone, Elf and A Christmas Story
(ironically Bob Clark directed this and the original Black Christmas). I’m not
prejudiced against old movies. Good
movies are good movies no matter how old.
How many damn versions of Charles Dickens’ holiday tale does there need
to be? If you never saw this one before,
there’s nothing you haven’t seen in the innumerous subsequent versions. My personal favorite adaptations include A Muppet Christmas Carol, Scrooged and the Mickey Mouse version I
grew up with. It’s only 69 minutes as
well, so if you decide to give this one a try, it won’t take up too much
time. Included on the DVD were two short
films. One called Christmas Party is simply a bittersweet short involving kids having
food together at MGM studios. The other
is a surprisingly grim cartoon called Peace
on Earth about a cheery post-apocalyptic world inhabited solely by animals
implying life is much better without humans.
12/21/2016
Imperium G
I guess “Harry Potter” can act. I know his name is Daniel Radcliffe but he
will always be known as the adapted literary wizard. Here, he infiltrates a white supremacist
community to prevent another Oklahoma bombing.
Some of the Nazis are more intelligent than usual in being suspicious of
his possible infiltration. This isn’t as
hard or gritty as American History X
but it’s definitely more thrilling and suspenseful. In contrast to movies being lame until the
ending (twist or not), this movie was good until the
everything-wrapped-in-a-neat-little-bow ending.
Everything concluded as expected by both the characters and audience. (I know it’s based on a true story but movies
are allowed to be somewhat fabricated and what isn’t based on fact anymore?). That’s what prevented it from being very good instead of good. 12/18/2016
Kubo and the Two
Strings VG
Released from the same studio that put out two of my
favorite modern movies, Coraline and Paranorman, this film is definitely a
winner. I loved this movie! It continuously amazes as it progresses. While it’s still too soon to call it one of
my favorite movies like the aforementioned two, it’s definitely one of the
year’s best. It better win best animated
feature! This was much better than the
average Moana. I’m gonna start looking forward to what Laika
Studios churns out. Not only is Coraline
one of my favorite books but I love the movie as well. I loved Paranorman
more each viewing; the first time I didn’t love it so Kubo might just end up being one of my faves. The
Boxtrolls was kinda blah but I didn’t hate it. One (below average) out of four movies is far
from failing for Laika. I’m Team Japan
over Team Polynesia come awards season. 12/23/2016
Nocturnal Animals G
The beginning is certainly attention-grabbing albeit
unwarranted, unless you enjoy seeing nude overweight women dancing. Anyway, this thriller containing a
story-within-a-story is an example where the performances outweigh the
script. Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael
Shannon (as ugly as he always was) are phenomenal and elevate the stale
material immensely. Usually I don’t pay
particular attention to acting as much as content but I guess I do when it’s
this good. (I guess I should say I
notice acting when it’s either really good or really bad). I’m not saying I didn’t actually enjoy the
story itself, I just didn’t feel it offered anything fresh. The ending slightly seemed inconclusive but
gave me something to think about. 12/15/2016
Phantasm: Ravager G
The fifth and final film for the Phantasm franchise. Newbies
will undoubtedly have no idea what they’re getting into but if you haven’t seen
any of the preceding movies, I don’t see why you would care to see this. As a standalone movie, it’s pretty good. I was never really a huge fan of this phranchise to begin with. I liked the first one but didn’t love
it. It felt more sci-fi than horror to
me. I did see all the sequels but can’t
remember too much about them. I don’t
recall hating them but if none of them stand out, they couldn’t have been too
great either. A few flashbacks are
sprinkled throughout but I still think novices will feel as confused as anyone
entering the Tall Man’s dimension. It’s
suggested that the entire storyline may have all been in Reggie’s (ice cream
man, main character in franchise) head.
Whether or not that’s true, I was still fascinated by the bouncing back
and forth between the Tall Man’s world and perceived reality. The iconic spherical balls cause plenty of
carnage here; go out with a bang I say.
I’d be curious to hear the opinion of someone watching this before the
other four. As of current memory, I only
seem to like the first and last one.
Perhaps I need to have a Phantasm
marathon to refresh my memory now that all is concluded? I met Reggie Bannister; very nice guy. R.I.P. Angus Scrimm. 12/23/2016
Spa Night EH/OK
There’s a part in this movie where the protagonist shadows a
family friend at his college for a day.
That’s exactly what I felt I was doing with this closeted Korean-American
character as he lived his mundane life working at a health spa contemplating
going to a college his hard-up parents can’t afford all at once. He was obviously closeted but never embraced
it nor came to terms with it. I’m a huge
fan of slice-of-life flicks. They have
to be compelling though and I didn’t find this guy’s life interesting at
all. Maybe that was the point? To depict most people live lives they don’t
necessarily want in order to get by? Fine
and dandy, but if I’m going to shadow someone I don’t want to be bored. 12/15/2016
Suicide Squad OK
Well, this certainly wasn’t as bad as other critics
proclaimed. It has good characterization,
enough action that’s not endlessly annoying, and a diverse cast. How are you gonna have the First Nations
actor from Smoke Signals and Wind Talkers named after a metal band
and eliminate him right away? Where are
all the indigenous American protesters?
Anyway, while not as bad as other recent superhero garbage (Batman vs. Superman, Iron Man movies, many others I’m sure)
it still overstays it’s welcome and is not my preferred cup of tea. I still say give it a shot and decide for
yourself. At least I didn’t contemplate
doing the first half of the title while watching. 12/20/2016
The Unspoken OK
Wow, my rating surely changed by the end. Initially it went from EH to B to OK. Begins as a standard haunted house film with
a tragic history incorporating elements of Poltergeist
and Monster House in a “poor man’s
fashion.” There’s a rather clever twist
that not only makes the movie better but might make me have to revisit. This is one of those rare examples where a
twist works in a movie’s favor. However,
in contrast to movies being good until a twist ruins it, this wasn’t good
enough beforehand to warrant a better rating.
Like I said though, if I ever watch it again knowing the twist, I might
have a different opinion. I particularly
liked the nails-through-the-floor attack.
12/15/2016
Witchery EH
A title like that starring Linda Blair and David Hasselhoff
from the late ‘80’s involving some form of Hell? Why the
hell wasn’t this a better movie?
This is basically a poorly-shot, poorly-edited, slightly incoherent mess
that probably looked really good on paper.
12/24/2016
---Sean O.
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