The Devil’s Dolls OK/G
Points for having an awesome title. Begins with a scene reminiscent of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original)
containing bloodshed á la High Tension. In a good way, mind you. In fact, the gore is what saves this
movie. Without the red stuff, this movie
reeks of lame. Its simplistic plot
would’ve satisfied my body count appetite during my formative years in that I
was always fascinated by how many people died and who died. Then, years later
I would re-watch and enjoy for the nostalgia.
I wish with a title like that the dolls would’ve been more traditional
(Victorian, porcelain, plastic) instead of the Blair Witch-type “worry dolls,” but they were okay…I guess. They fit the story at least. Set up like a straight slasher flick and time
may tell if it ages well, but it’s conditionally worth recommending solely on
the glorious brutality. 1/3/2017
The Girl EH/OK
Yet another movie trying to distinguish itself by tacking a
twist onto a rather routine plot. While
the twist does make it mildly interesting, it arrives too late (as usual)
following a standard woman-in-peril flick.
It is fairly short so it won’t kill too much time even if you feel the
need to re-watch with obtained knowledge.
Did the villain really think his son (or wife for that matter) wouldn’t
eventually investigate the shed during his absence, especially after being
warned to steer clear? Curiosity may
have killed the cat, but it is a human quality.
And if the “final girl” was able to do what’s revealed, couldn’t she
prevent the whole incident from happening at all? No, because then we wouldn’t have a
movie. Hmm….1/8/2017
I Am Not a Serial
Killer G
The twist makes this a better movie. Better in the sense you might have to watch
twice to know your final opinion. I hate
when movies do that. The title itself
slightly hints at the twist and that not all is as it initially appears. I’m giving this a mild recommendation. The film is generally formulaic but the
charismatic protagonist elevates it and the climax alters the movie
entirely. The final revelation has been
used before but it works here. The lead
character proves that one isn’t evil just because they’re fascinated with dark
subject matter. 1/1/2017
Mississippi Murder EH
A generic title for a generic thriller. The killer is no surprise at all and you should
figure it out right away (even if you never saw a single one of these types of movies). Other revelations are stale (if you still
happen to care by then) and do nothing to quell negative southern
stereotypes. 1/8/2017
The Monster G/VG
The staging couldn’t have been better for a horror movie: a back road with woods on either side while
it’s raining. Add a swift creature with
sharp teeth to that creepy setting. I
was satisfied with the monster. It was
practical and that’s always preferred.
The flashbacks detailing the tumultuous mother-daughter relationship
prove the story needed to be fleshed out to reach an adequate run time. It may have been necessary to prove you
shouldn’t take certain people for granted no matter how difficult they may
be. I still don’t understand how someone
can go investigate alone while knowing there’s a possible attacker nearby. I also don’t think an otherworldly creature
would scope out an area and bide its time before attacking. Then again, this movie would’ve only been 15
minutes. In reality, everyone would’ve
been dead and the creature would’ve searched elsewhere for more victims. Those minor quibbles aside, this is a good
old fashioned creature feature. 1/3/2017
Run the Tide EH
Pretty lame movie starring “Jacob Black.” Several performances are very convincing but
the story culminates in the age-old “it wasn’t you, it was me” speech enabling
someone to bury the hatchet and get a load off their chest. Blah, blah, blah. 1/8/2017
The Secret Life of
Pets OK/G
This one is more for the kiddies. Funny at times, charming at times, ultimately
feels too familiar. Max is a cute little
doggy, his words and mine. 1/8/2017
Storks G
Wow, I actually liked an animated movie that wasn’t
affiliated with Disney, wasn’t South Park,
or wasn’t any adult animation. What am I talking about? I love cartoons, just not too many modern
ones. This movie about the titular birds
no longer delivering babies is quite funny, quite creative and quite a
surprise. I laughed a couple times. I’ll probably get backlash for this, but I
might have enjoyed this more than Moana. (I did like both though). All ages can enjoy this. See Storks. 1/1/2017
When the Bough Breaks OK
…The (hand that rocks the) cradle will fall and down will
come anymore domestic thrillers from being made at all. This one wasn’t too bad though. It manages to tinker with many of the typical
tropes. While it may be better than most
recent Fatal Attraction and The Hand that Rocks the Cradle clones,
it still reeks of domestic-thriller-TV-movie-of-the-week underneath it
all. I mean, come on, don’t these
characters watch movies? Don’t they know
not to take someone they barely know into their home no matter how innocent
they may appear without doing an extensive background check? Apparently it can be done as another
character proves when things predictably get sketchy. Most of all, don’t people in movies know to
make sure the villain is really dead before leaving? Apparently not if characters nowadays still
make the same mistakes and the same movies are being made. 1/1/2017
---Sean O.
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