Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Mooby Reviews 1/24/17

Here's my current batch of film reviews:

The Bye Bye Man                                                        OK/G
This was actually much better than I thought it would be.  There’s an interesting mythology surrounding the eponymous demon.  He technically doesn’t have to kill anyone.  Anyone that knows his name will go crazy and kill those around them.  I guess that would make him an infernal Charles Manson in a way, or a cousin of Bughuul (Sinister).  The Bye Bye Man himself is actually pretty gnarly.  Rather sinister (!)  While decent, it still reeks of formulaic supernatural thriller at times.  I would like to know how the Bye Bye Man originated or perhaps see where he comes from.  Plus, in 2017, don’t characters in horror movies know not to say “who’s there?” while alone?  Don’t they watch movies in the movie world?  Also, if you want to eradicate something, you don’t just throw it into the woods for someone to find.  You friggin’ burn the damn thing!  1/19/2017

4th Man Out                                                                 G

Coming out.  Something only non-hetero’s ever have to worry about.  Unless you’re a celebrity and announce it to the world, it’s something non-hetero’s basically have to do their entire life.  Every time you meet new people, you have to ask yourself if you’re comfortable telling them.  I know we live in moderately more accepting times but it’s still a self-conscious attribute non-hetero’s contend with.  I’m only speaking from experience.  Everyone has their own way of doing it.  I started off small by telling my parents first and repressed it for years in hopes of maybe being “cured” of it.  Of course that was the societal and religious mentality making me hate myself and become outwardly homophobic in the process.  I didn’t grow up in a very welcoming environment.  The towns I grew up in were predominantly Catholic and if they weren’t Catholic they were conservative.  I had no one to look up to.  The only gay people I knew of were stereotypical ones like Elton John and Boy George, people you didn’t want to be associated with.  This was in the ‘90’s when such things were still swept under the rug.  Eventually, not long ago, I started to come out to the rest of my immediate family and the few friends I had.  Lastly, I posted a very angry note on social media so everyone knew.  Even if they didn’t have facebook, the message was passed on of course.  I still don’t feel bad about it even though some may argue it wasn’t the best way to go about it, and I was lambasted by some for it.  Oh well, I felt it was the easiest way to deliver the message and yes there was lots of profanity, but that’s how I talk.  Anyway, I think this movie handled it in a fairly realistic way.  Most people today are fine with it, so I think it would’ve been a different story if this were made 20-30 years ago.  The three straight friends-since-childhood are initially weirded out in typical straight male fashion but simultaneously accepting.  I guess we still have a ways to go until people totally feel comfortable about being open right away.  We also still have a ways to go before gay stereotypes are debunked.  The three straight guys at one point accuse each other of doing “gay things” such as using women’s deodorant, going to see Les Miserables and knowing what Grindr is.  The guy in question works at an auto shop, doesn’t exhibit any stereotypes, and one of his friends claims that he eats steak a lot.  (LOL)  I eat steak too!  Of course he faces some initial opposition being from a small-town that appears to be religious.  In the end, he doesn’t seem to have any problems with anyone as they all celebrate their “independence” at a 4th of July BBQ.  Different times.  Coming out is still something one has to do more than once in life.  Essentially.  1/13/2017

The Handmaiden                                                        OK/G
Here’s a movie from the same guy that gave us the Vengeance Trilogy (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy, Lady Vengeance) in which nothing is as initially seemed.  Running 2½ hours, parts inevitably drag but interest is rarely ever waned.  Taking place in what appears to be Victorian times, this is basically a sophisticated Korean Wild Things.  There’re innumerous twists and some Sapphic action that gives the fantasy scene from Black Swan a huge run for its money.  I like the East Asian Victorian touch but I felt there was an unsatisfying conclusion to an intriguing build-up, like a joke with a stale punch line.  1/19/2017

Long Way North                                                          G
Presentation certainly makes a difference.  If this was the same exact movie (scene-for-scene) in live-action, I most likely wouldn’t care too much for it.  I’m always amazed at what animation can accomplish considering the arduous process.  I “felt” the cold of the upper Northern Hemisphere and “savored” the food prepared in the restaurant inn.  The animation almost resembles a cross between Anime and a typical Cartoon Network program.  It is adventurous at times and easy to follow, but gets a marginal recommendation based on my visual comparison above.  1/22/2017

Lost & Found                                                              EH
Here’s a movie purported to be adventurous involving treasure maps but has no adventure whatsoever.  There’s one suspenseful part in the whole movie but it’s quickly over and done, so it’s not enough to count.  Jason Patric and Cary Elwes are in it just to generate guaranteed viewings.  If no-name actors were in the same roles, this flat lame ass afterschool special would’ve forever remained in the lost & found archives.  It should be lost & never found!  1/13/2017

Middle School:  The Worst Years of My Life               G
I never read any of the books.  This is a relatively fun movie involving early teenage rebellion in a totalitarian school system.  The animated bits were creative.  I hated Rob Riggle but so did the main characters.  There’s a twist that actually took me by surprise since I didn’t expect it for this kind of movie.  Points for that.  I pretty much hated school my entire life but almost agree with the title since middle school is up there for being my least favorite years.  1/14/2017

Moonlight                                                                    G
I like how this wasn’t presented as an LGBT movie.  It just happens to involve a gay character and that’s how it should be in this day and age.  Moonlight involves a gay black man in Miami during three times of his life (kid, teen, young adult).  This is the type of gay coming-of-age story we don’t see too often.  It’s thoroughly involving but I felt the ultimate story was just beginning when it ended.  1/19/2017

Natural Selection                                                         G
You’d be subliminally blind to not see where this is eventually leading.  Not only based on the title but also the multiple shots of a certain item and the general misanthropy of one character.  The movie focuses entirely on the people’s lives before the tragic event is about to occur and I think the performances and direction were satisfactory.  Sure, we’ve seen this all before but the duplicitous “he said/she said” bullshit prevalent in high school (and everyday life for that matter) rings true.  Perhaps if more people like the protagonist noticed certain behaviors, tragedies copycatting Columbine could be averted.  1/22/2017

Pet                                                                               OK
Creepy guy stalks hot girl.  Hot girl doesn’t want creepy guy.  Creepy guy kidnaps hot girl and locks her in a cage below the kennel he works at.  Sound familiar?  Things are slightly turned on their heads halfway through.  Luckily the twist comes early unlike some movies thinking they’ll make it better regardless of how lackluster it’s been until the end.  Since I had to trudge through the fairly standard first half, it only gets half a good rating.  There’s a particularly bloody scene that would make the adult-writing Roald Dahl proud.  1/14/2017

Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre                      OK
Yes, with a title like that you know I couldn’t bypass it.  Helmed by Jim Wynorksi, the purveyor of other stupid (yet awkwardly entertaining) shit (Curse of the Komodo, Camel Spiders) plus cult classics like Chopping Mall and Sorority House Massacre 2 (he actually has a pretty lengthy filmography but not quite near Roger Corman yet), this film featuring hot babes battling a below-average creature concoction is actually not that bad.  The sharkosaurus (yes really, it has spikes on it and the ability to swim on land too) emerges from underneath the ground following a fracking accident.  We really don’t get to see any deaths since the camera cuts away right before the shark attacks in a cloud of water, or dirt if on land.  That might’ve been a smart move since the shark looked mediocre from the side.  The only glimpse we get, other than the fin, is the standard shark mouth opened wide before attacking one victim.  The female prisoners squabble as expected and end up in the woods with an officer hostage plus two other men escaping the sharks (there’s six according to one observation).  Being hazardous on land surely makes it more suspenseful but this is still a turn-your-brain-off-and-enjoy-the-idiocy film.  If you don’t know that before watching a movie with that title, you’ll probably be disappointed.  My favorite line is when a guy mentions vibrations in regards to the fracking and one of the women asks “Good vibrations?  Like the song?”  How original!  Traci Lords doesn’t seem to age either; she looks no different than The Tommyknockers days.  1/23/2017

Space Clown                                                               OK
This is a decent evil clown flick barely over an hour.  I usually can’t go wrong with an evil clown movie as long as it’s not poorly made and the clown appears a decent amount of time.  This was well-made but I felt a lot could’ve been added to the short run time.  Perhaps in a follow-up?  I wanted to see the Clown World this Space Clown needed to return to after using human bodies to fuel his spacecraft.  I know clowns are supposed to be funny but I could’ve done without the flatulence even though one part was actually “necessary.”  I generally don’t find sounds emitting from rear ends too comical.  You could do much worse without killing much time but this clown doesn’t hold the brightest candle to those other klowns from outer space.  1/22/2017

Split                                                                             G
I am a fan of M. Night Shyamalan for the most part.  He has a very simplistic Hitchcock-ian style that works for me.  I consider his career beginning with The Sixth Sense even though he directed two films before that.  Lady in the Water was his first dud in my opinion.  I did enjoy The Happening for its simplistic morbidity.  I hated The Last Airbender and wasn’t crazy about After EarthThe Visit was an improvement and gets better each viewing.  Split has an outstanding performance from James McAvoy who’s surprisingly good-looking here too.  Mr. Shyamalan is known as the “twist” director and that’s what people expect when going to see his movies.  I’m not going to reveal whether there’s a twist or not, but I liked M. Night’s decision.  I only dislike 3 out of 10 films thus far, so M. Night passes and I anticipate his rumored involvement in the Tales from the Crypt reboot (only the best TV show ever!).  Pay attention at the end for a certain cameo mentioning a character from one of M. Night’s earlier films.  1/22/2017

---Sean O.

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