Mooby Reviews 9/24/2016

Newest film reviews:

Blair Witch                                                                  OK

Did we really need another Blair Witch movie?  Most likely not.  I find the documentaries, comic books and the actual legend itself more interesting than any of the films.  When I saw The Blair Witch Project back when it came out on VHS (yes I’m that old), I hated it.  I thought it was annoying, boring and only good when it ended.  I have to admit that when I saw it years later, it kind of grew on me.  Slightly.  It’s still far from being a masterpiece or cult classic.  I like woods and legends so I can appreciate some of its overall themes.  This is a sequel to that film, apparently deleting the actual sequel Book of Shadows:  Blair Witch 2 which was basically a slasher mindfuck.  This sequel was better the second half.  The first half is almost like watching a remake with added characters.  And I don’t know why filmmakers always have to continuously add jump scares.  It’s more annoying than scary.  Yes, people will jump if the music gets loud when someone quickly appears on screen and the audience knows they’re watching a horror movie!  About the second half---dark woods, underground tunnels and an abandoned home are well-shot and made creepy.  Whether you hated or loved the original, and most people seemed to fit in one or the other, I don’t think you would feel any different about this version.  It’s decent to catch on Netflix/Redbox/OnDemand or discount times at the box office, but I think Hollywood should start churning out original stories.  9/18/2016

Buddymoon                                                                 G

Instead of honeymoon, get it?  After one guy’s fiancé leaves him before their wedding, him and his buddy (get it now?) do the planned honeymoon:  7 days hiking in the Pacific Northwest woods.  I was reminded of an indie film called Old Joy, which was basically about 2 guys going to hot springs in the same region.  Nothing much happened but it was fun tagging along with them.  Literally a slice-of-life.  I mostly felt the same about this movie.  9/20/2016

Careful What You Wish For                                        B

I didn’t know this was another Wild Things sequel.  I also don’t know why I thought an erotic thriller starring one of the Jonas Brothers would be remotely decent.  I like to be surprised.  (Wishful thinking sucks).  I know it’s hard to be original in any genre but I have to be thoroughly engaged and like most of the characters.  The setting was nice, that’s it.  9/18/2016

From Afar                                                                   OK

Latin American film about a complicated relationship between a young thug and an older gentleman (probably old enough to be street kid’s Grandpa).  Young boy is, seemingly at first, only in it for the money.  Grandpa may have been playing all along when you see how everything unfolds.  I just wish it wasn’t so boring.  9/18/2016

The Nice Guys                                                             OK

This starts off fun and looks like it could’ve been made in the late ‘70s (when it takes place).  It overstays its welcome though.  I thought it was over twice before it actually was.  9/23/2016

Popstar:  Never Stop Never Stopping                         OK

I didn’t hate this movie.  Some of it was funny.  Some of it was trying too hard to be funny.  I would rather watch this mockumentary than a documentary on some real artists, like the Biebs.  9/15/2016

Take Me to the River                                                   G/VG

What begins as a coming-of-age and hinted coming out tale involving a California clan attending a family reunion in Nebraska takes an unexpected turn with dark undertones.  The film is surprisingly suspenseful for being relatively action-less.  The open-endedness makes it more sinister.  You certainly won’t be singing any version of the titular song when you find out what the title possibly refers to.  Indie surprise!  9/14/2016

Urge                                                                            EH/OK

If you introduce a drug with promises of no hangover effect and feeling like you’ve never felt BUT you can only do it once, do you really think people are gonna stop at one time?  Watch this movie and find out what happens if you get seconds.  Or don’t, which is where my vote predominantly rests.  This begins as a lame-o “old friends getting together and spending vacation on an island with tensions and jealousies lingering in the air” film.  The second half is better and mildly disturbing when you see all the damage done as a result of taking the titular drug.  It ends abruptly though and left me feeling empty.  Watch Requiem for a Dream if you want to see a better (and more disturbing) movie dealing with drugs causing disastrous results.  9/23/2016

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 9/11/2016

Where are all the good movies at?!!!
Newest movie reviews:

Batman v Superman:  Dawn of Justice                       B

Perhaps I’m not too much a fan of superhero movies, especially modern ones.  I’m even less a fan of “vs.” movies.  By the end of this 2 ½ hour movie, it’s not even a “vs.” movie anymore.  Oh, Wonder Woman appears too.  (I’m surprised feminists haven’t complained about her being omitted from the title).  It ends up being those three “vs.” Lex Luthor’s creation. (I sense a misleading title).  Too much action bores me and isn’t that supposed to have the opposite effect?  I was completely bored by all the Transformers sequels I saw (I stopped watching after the third one and I’m surprised I made it that far).  I fell asleep more than once during Watchmen.  This movie was a waste of time too.  9/10/2016

Broken Vows                                                               B

Yet another movie (surprisingly not a TV movie) about someone that wants to forget about a bad experience so they hook up with someone that turns out to be a psycho that won’t leave them alone.  I sorta liked it when it was called Fatal Attraction, but not the endless titles it had after that.  This was probably made and marketed due to the fact it stars Wes Bentley and Cam Gigandet---actors more recognizable by face than name.  I couldn’t wait for it to be over after 15 minutes.  It is 91 minutes according to the Netflix envelope.  Terrible.  9/9/2016

The Disappointments Room                                        B

I could say I was disappointed (!) with The Disappointments Room but I had no knowledge of anything about it beforehand.  All I knew was that it was a new horror movie playing near me and was written by Wentworth Miller.  Perhaps there’s a reason it wasn’t widely advertised.  We’ve (at least I’ve) seen this all before.  Lady loses a child at a young age therefore goes crazy and possibly sees and does things unaware.  The only thing worthy is a rather gruesome head bludgeoning by hammer.  Otherwise, what the fuck were you thinking Mr. Miller?  9/11/2016

Girls Gone Dead                                                         OK

What else do you expect with a title like that?  The title spells it all out for you:  Girls Gone Wild with a body count.  Far from being the best of the genre but the weapon (a war hammer/axe) is pretty rad.  There’s gore aplenty, some possibly gag-inducing.  Decent time-killer worth a Netflix rental.  Or just watch it for free online (I’m sure it could be downloaded like everything else).  There’re worse things you could do on your downtime.  9/2/2016

11.22.63                                                                      OK

I own the book but haven’t read it yet.  I still have innumerous books I haven’t read yet.  The book this 8-episode miniseries is based on is really big, like It and The Stand big, so I don’t think it’s on the top of my “to read” list.  The classic sci-fi/time travel question applies here:  “If you could go back in time to change something, would you?  And what would it be?”  We would all probably like to “butterfly effect” something if we could.  This Hulu-presented adaptation answers the question the same way countless other time travel tales have:  “If you change one thing, you change everything usually not for the better and possibly worse in some scenarios.  Therefore it’s best just to leave the past in the past, learn from it and move forward.”   I liked it for the most part but it’s no different than the stories I just referenced, this time taking place during the three years leading up to the JFK assassination.  Plus, I’ll watch anything with Stephen King’s name on it (minus any of his Dark Tower fantasy stuff).  He’s had a significant impact on my life, so I’ll keep reading his stories and watching the movies/miniseries/TV shows they’re based on.  Even if they suck, like Kingdom Hospital.  9/5/2016 

The Jungle Book                                                         OK

I wasn’t thrilled about another live-action adaptation.  I don’t remember the early 90’s live-action version being too good, but that could’ve been my mentality at the time.  This 2016 version actually isn’t that bad but I still prefer the animated one released by Sir Walt’s studio.  I could tell the animals weren’t real (of course most of them realistically couldn’t be) but they don’t look that bad.  The idea of live-action characters singing frightened me beforehand but it wasn’t too terrible and seldom happened.  9/2/2016

Keanu                                                                          EH

Key & Peele are funny here and there.  I was never a devotee.  This movie is tonally all over the place.  I guess it’s supposed to be a parody of gangster flicks.  I didn’t find most of it too funny.  I admit the titular feline is cute as hell.  I can’t resist cracking a joke that pretty much sums up the entire movie:  Straight men will do some crazy shit for (a) pussy!  And not that I care too much about twists but this movie had one that slightly surprised me.  9/2/2016

Man of Steel                                                                EH

The new Batman vs. Superman movie actually looks pretty decent (boy was I wrong, see review above).  I found out it was a sequel to this Superman movie that bypassed my movie-watching radar when it came out three years ago.  It could be I had no interest.  I’ve admittedly never seen any of the original movies with Christopher Reeve.  The only knowledge I have of Superman is watching the early 90’s show, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.  I loved that show.  I was also in sixth grade.  This movie rapidly jumps from one scene to another and becomes a typical big-budget, loud, excessive special effects-laden blockbuster film.  Henry Cavill is at least better looking than Dean Cain was.  9/4/2016

Midnight Special                                                         EH

The big question is what makes this kid so special and what’s going to happen?  They didn’t need to make a boring ten-minutes-shy-of-two-hours movie to answer it.  I feel like only part A of the story was presented; it started getting better when part B was briefly revealed at the end.  This is better suited as a half-hour Twilight Zone or Outer Limits episode.  Or if they make a sequel called Early Morning Special (?), I might be interested if they pick up where this ended.  I was vaguely reminded of E.T. while watching.  E.T. wasn’t boring though and still makes me cry to this day.  This failed to move me.  9/2/2016

R.L. Stine’s Mostly Ghostly:  One Night in

Doom House                                                   EH

You don’t necessarily need to see the two preceding entries in this filmed series.  Some of the characters reappear but neophytes need not worry who they are.  Not that they or even people like me (who saw the first two) would care much.  Like Stephen King, R.L. Stine is one of my favorite authors and left a huge impact on my life.  Therefore, anything with his name attached is guaranteed to garner a gander from this reviewer.  Even if it’s as bad as this.  This is basically like the same TV movies I used to watch during the early 90’s involving horror elements but being more of a comedy geared towards no one older than preteen.  The special effects just got worse, twenty-plus years later!  R.L. Stine shouldn’t think he can get away with putting out garbage because he knows fans, whether life-long or newbies, will watch or read no matter what!  9/8/2016

---Sean O.