Beauty and the Beast EH/OK
Well, I didn’t want to when I first heard about it but, as
always, curiosity got the better of me after hearing rave reviews. Well, I almost liked it at first. The catchy songs paralleled the original
until I told myself, ‘Why must it be updated to begin with?’ Today’s generation should just view the
classics. When I was a kid in the late
80s/early 90s, I remember seeing older Disney films theatrically, enabling me
to grow up with them and not remakes.
There’s zero wrong with rereleasing animated classics on the big screen
every few years or so. Since people keep
supporting these remakes, studios are going to keep doling them out. I borrowed it from my sister so I didn’t
contribute to its proceeds. I wouldn’t
be surprised if it’s recognized for the very lavish production design come Oscar
season. My biggest gripe is the
length. The animated classic was only 84
minutes. This was 129 minutes. That’s 45 minutes of added material, all of
which I deemed unnecessary. In regards
to the homophobic complaints about the “gay scene”: It was literally blink-and-you’ll-miss and
appeared accidental. Did they not know
Gaston was played by a gay actor?
Whatever, I’m sticking with the 1991 animation, as should everyone
regardless of when they were born. 6/19/2017
Blood Sand OK/G
Alternately titled The
Sand, which is admirably simplistic, I think Blood Sand makes it sound totally B-movie, which it so definitely
is. I actually enjoyed it too. The characters actually handle their
extremely outlandish situation as any sensible humans would; even the blonde
that claims the “killer sand” is the government’s fault at first. That got a laugh-out-loud chuckle from me. Every time I thought of a way to escape
unscathed, the characters eventually brought it up however unsuccessful. There’s some rather gory bits even if
over-the-top. I’m not sure if it needed
to be feature-length and it gets a bit too special-effects happy towards the
end making the killer less “sandy.” I almost
can recommend this inane monster movie.
Fuck it, give it a whirl if you have time and want to set your brain
aside. I liked it much more than hated
it. 6/12/2017
47 Meters Down G/VG
This begins typically with young vacationers being told of
an excursion (here, cage diving near great whites) that we as an audience know
means danger. Once the two sisters (one
played by Mandy Moore) submerge, the film gets several shades better. I was worried it would be too monotonous if
they were stuck in the cage for the remaining duration. The deep dark ocean is just as frightening as
a dark house, probably even scarier since you can escape a home easier. Some of the underwater scenes are terrifying
on their own with the menacing sharks being an added threat. There’s enough shark action to satisfy
too. What prevented this from getting a
complete VG rating was the ending. I’m
still kinda mixed on how I feel about it.
I will say that it was the first time I’ve seen it employed on a shark
attack film. I should’ve figured it out
too because it was basically thrown in our face at one time. The filmmakers did a good job of distracting
us from thinking about it. I still
enjoyed it before the twist and, who knows, maybe I’ll forgive it after a
re-watch. 6/19/2017
Ghost of New Orleans B
Lame-o formulaic murder mystery with several popular
faces. Why do ghosts always recall who
killed them in a given situation and “pass on” afterwards? Who says a ghost has to stay in one spot? Wouldn’t their phantasmal matter be able to
haunt other locations, possibly finding out who their killer was? No, because we always need the usual red
herrings before revealing the not-so-surprising but who-cares-by-then killer. The constructed masks were the only thing I
liked about this movie. I would’ve
rather seen a straightforward slasher film with the killer wearing different
masks before offing each person, because that would’ve actually been much more
fun. 6/15/2017
Growing Up Smith G
It’s always interesting to see different experiences in
America. It is the largest melting pot
in the world after all. It’s just a
shame how this country started. This
movie concerns an East Indian family living in Oklahoma at the end of the ‘70’s,
seen mostly through the eyes of the 10-year-old son. Yeah, we do get the traditional parents
wanting their kids to maintain the old ways from the motherland. Yeah, the young protagonist experiences some
prejudice from the small town residents (even acknowledging he’s not that kind of Indian when a bully calls
him Pocahontas). Yeah, he desires to be
a regular American (his favorite movie is Saturday
Night Fever, he wants his own Halloween costume, he tries KFC despite being
a vegetarian) like most other immigrants gradually assimilating. I would’ve liked to see how the family dealt
with other American holidays (besides Halloween) and customs (besides having
barbeques), but I thoroughly enjoyed this coming-of-age tale. 6/15/2017
It Comes at Night OK/G
Don’t listen to the critics.
This apocalyptic movie is generally no different than the others. Don’t get me wrong, this movie has good
things going for it, namely the dark nighttime scenes. Darkness is the scariest thing in the
movie. I’ve always instinctively feared
the dark; so many things can hide in it.
That’s also partly where this falters.
Don’t expect the It in the
title to be anything other than paranoia and nightmares. So much could’ve been done with the evocative
setting. Nothing much is scarier than a
house in the middle of the woods, especially at night with only moonlight or
lamplight as your only illumination source.
Also, haven’t people in movies learned not to trust others no matter
what in an end-of-the-world scenario?
Things don’t usually end well. The
ending is rather bleak and
potent. No explanation is given for the
origin of the sickness, but none is ever needed if effective. I’m not going to say this is a waste of time. Disappointing, yes. Don’t see it in the theater; it’s absolutely
not worth the price even during bargain times.
6/12/2017
Return from Witch
Mountain OK/G
You should know by now (if you know me or read any of my
reviews) that if I watch the first one (here, Escape to Witch Mountain---reviewed in my last blog entry), I have to watch the second one. And the third one, and the fourth one, and
the fifth one, etc. I actually liked
this one better. Still far from a
masterpiece but there’s enough silly fun and more interesting characters this
time making it worthwhile. I
particularly found it very hilarious how a van flipped over, rolled down a hill
upside down before coming to a stop, and everyone immediately exited nonchalantly
(as nothing happened) and apparently unscathed.
6/19/2017
Show Me Love G
I strongly dislike when gay people end up with their crushes
in movies. It gives it too much of a fairy
(pun intended) tale aspect. It
especially seemed unreal in this Swedish film where the pretty (presumably
straight) popular girl ends up with the awkward (initially closeted) unpopular
girl that had a crush on her. It almost
seemed fate was in the unpopular girl’s favor however complicated the relationship
may have been. It was in the late ‘90’s
too when homosexuality still wasn’t fully acceptable nor common. The pretty girl even claims at one time that
she might become a lesbian since “men are gross,” illustrating the experimental
bi-curious phase women began doing around that time. I think coming out stories on screen should
be more realistic, or I wish life would be more like the movies. Don’t we all though, gay or straight? Straight people don’t even end up with their
crushes in real life. It’s harder for
gay people since we never know who else is gay unless they’re open or
stereotypical. Aside from everything
mentioned, this coming-of-age independent film has a very engaging quality akin
to Welcome to the Dollhouse that I
enjoyed in its entirety. 6/19/2017
3 Generations OK
What an innovative way to portray three generations of an
unconventional family. Let’s see, the
grandmother’s a lesbian and the granddaughter’s a pre-op trans male, while the straight
cisgendered mother/daughter in between is stressed with everything. The family dynamics are compelling at
best. The lesbian grandmother wonders
why her “grandson” can’t just be a lesbian since she liked girls anyway. Transgender rights seem to be a hot issue
lately. Being a gay man, I’ll admit I
think trans is a choice (whether feeling you were born in the wrong body or
not) even though I have utmost respect for them and love watching movies with/about
them. Growing up I had no knowledge of
transgender despite being in society’s lexicon.
In visual media, we simply saw them as actors choosing to be that way. You were either born a boy or girl and that
was that. I also didn’t know much of gay
people either which is why I never wanted to accept being one. Perhaps transgenders feel the same way? I do think gay and trans rights should be
separate fights though. Anyway, this
movie’s second half began to feel like a Hallmark or Lifetime movie in that
everything is resolved as expected in a fairy tale way. It’s a shame too because it had my interest
at first. 6/15/2017
Three O’Clock High G
Yet another ‘80’s film I’m surprised I never saw. It stars one of the “tough guys” from Stand by Me and the bad guy from Kindergarten Cop. Unlike most teen movies, it takes place
entirely in the high school during one day, minus the beginning when two of the
characters get ready for school. I’m
surprised this wasn’t recognized alongside other Reagan Era classics (namely
John Hughes movies) since it’s just as fun and mostly realistic. The simple story is never boring and contains
a modicum of suspense. I always like
unearthing overlooked gems. I just wish
I discovered them more often. 6/12/2017
---Sean O.
