Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Mooby Reviews 10/17/18

I present to you my latest visual media criticisms...

Apostle                                                                                    OK/G

New film available on Netflix taking place in the past (of which time period I’m not quite sure), involving a man (Dan Stevens) traveling to a secluded village in order to rescue his sister.  Clearly something is not right with this isolated village (isolated is usually the first indication).  Not only must you travel a ways by boat to get to the island, but you then must walk a ways on land to reach the village nestled at the bottom of a mountain.  That’s just the first thing.  Dan’s character sees people cutting themselves through windows and sees the town leader lift up a door in his floor before descending.  You do eventually have all your questions answered.  I can see comparisons being made to The Wicker Man (either version) but it really isn’t exactly like that despite containing an isolated community full of crazy religious people.  There is an initial air of menace and I did enjoy much of this, but even at a little over 2 hours, I still felt it was a bit, I hate to say, lacking.  10/15/2018

Bad Samaritan                                                            OK/G

This film will surely make you think twice about valet drivers.  I mean, movies like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off should’ve already, but these valets actually drive to their homes as they eat at the restaurant and rob them.  That is until one of them finds a woman chained up in a guy’s house, thus beginning a cat-and-mouse chase.  It is derivative (not too many films aren’t these days) and may be predictable at times (predictability usually stems from derivability after all), but it was never exactly boring.  That is until the last half hour when it does begin to lose steam, but it was bound to happen being 110 minutes.  You could do a lot worse though, plus the protagonist was a compelling character and the “Bad Samaritan” was kind of creepy (played by David Tennant).  10/13/2018

Blood Mountain                                                          OK/G
Yet another found footage-ish film, this time involving three men on a bike ride excursion (bicycles not motorcycles) in the mountains.  The one guy wants to record everything to eventually show his newborn son.  It is filmed mostly via “head-cam,” meaning the cameras are attached to two of their helmets so we see everything they see, and of course there are omniscient views at times when the helmets are taken off and set aside.  The first-person POV shots of riding on the trails were actually really effective and fun too.  If you happened to get dizzy during the shaky footage of The Blair Witch Project, some parts of this film will give you motion sickness.  Eventually they come across people at a cabin after one of the riders goes missing and, as you can imagine, things quickly turn to shit and it becomes a typical survival/chase film for a bit.  One character reveals information towards the end that I did not see coming and closer to the end I was a bit confused, but I believe I pieced it all together after thinking about the entire film.  Decent indie horror feature that’s nothing new, in its found footage aspect and content, but its approach makes it work sometimes and indiscriminate horror fans might be momentarily pleased.  10/13/2018


Creeped Out:  Season One                                         G/VG
U.K./Canada kiddie horror anthology series recently made available on Netflix and I’m sure glad it was.  This series made me feel like an impressionable youngster again.  There’s definitely an Are You Afraid of the Dark? vibe as well as several Tales from the Crypt comeuppance conclusions, and even a Black Mirror-ish tale geared towards middle schoolers.  It is comprised of 13 episodes (technically 12 since one contains two parts) that are all under a half hour, therefore none overstay their welcome.  There is a voiceover narrator before and after each episode as well as a voiceless character dubbed The Curious donning a hoodie and mask resembling something from The Strangers.  The Curious is just there, much like Sam from Trick ‘r Treat, and was a cool character that could possibly become iconic.  I don’t believe I disliked a single episode, some naturally not as good as others, with “The Call” being my least favorite but still not necessarily a waste of time.  Personal favorites included “Bravery Badge,” “Kindlesticks,” and “Side Show.”  “Side Show” was the two-parter and contained a twist that was very clever indeed.  The majority of them weren’t too original at all, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t fun, and they all contained a modicum of suspense.  There’re a few scenes here and there that might scare the most timid viewers (I know some kids scare easier than others), but the series is generally innocuous and a good introduction to the genre for today’s impressionable youth.  I think it’ll find its audience primarily amongst preteens while teenagers might think they’re “too cool” for it unless they’re still young at heart.  I, for one, am going to be 36 and I got a kick out of it (I love them anthology shows, kiddie or not).  Bring on season two (which is planned as of this writing), and three, and four, and five, and so on…10/8/2018

The First Purge                                                           G

It’s amazing how four Purge movies have been made so far, as well as a current ten-episode TV series.  They’ve all seemed to work though since there are so many different ways to tell it.  I don’t believe I’ve disliked any so far and I’ve been enjoying the show for the most part even though it’s starting to weaken (I figured ten episodes isn’t too much to commit to).  They’re kind of like the Final Destination films whereas they might not be anything special but they’re all fun and you simply have to take them for what they are.  I mean, we all have animalistic instincts and would love to be able to let our anger out on certain people with no consequences, but the very thought of actually having a Purge night once a year is a very frightening concept.  It’s frightening how it could actually happen in the future.  This fourth film in the series is a “prequel” since it goes back to the beginnings of the American experiment in which all crime (including murder) is legal for 12 hours one night of the year.  This film wasn’t great but I’m giving it a mild recommendation because I enjoyed it enough, especially for being a sequel/prequel to a franchise whose concept should’ve been worn out after the first time.  It becomes a microcosmic apocalypse with plenty of action and violence and is the best gangster film (sort of) I’ve seen in a while.  It is definitely political too but timely and could be seen as a commentary on how shady the U.S. government can be regarding certain social issues.  Since I’ve liked them all so far (definitely not loved) and continue to watch the show every week, I’m not going to say I won’t watch anymore made in the future…unless they actually do start sucking.  10/9/2018

Ghost Stories                                                               G
Anthology films, gotta love ‘em.  At least I do.  This U.K. collection involves three “cases” given to a skeptic man (in the wraparound segment) making a living by debunking anything supernatural.  The tales take place at an abandoned asylum at night, the dark woods at night, and a huge house at night during the winter---common settings for ghost stories!  That doesn’t make them any less chilling, or effective rather.  Ghost stories always seem to be more frightening taking place at night.  I’ll never forget a meme I once saw that is truer than true:  “During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts.  At night, I’m a little more open-minded.”  I’m a skeptic but my imagination always likes to fuck with me.  Anyway, there is a far outdated twist at the end and the film as a whole is far from innovative, but I thoroughly enjoyed all three segments (although too short in my opinion) enough to warrant a recommendation.  10/13/2018

Goosebumps 2:  Haunted Halloween                         OK/G
You don’t need to see the first movie or be familiar with the book series or TV show to watch this, despite containing a reference to the first movie and several book titles being mentioned.  Again, like any sequel regardless of connection to any predecessors, why would you care to see a sequel first or without being slightly familiar with the franchise?  The point is, you can watch this without necessarily needing to know any info or returning characters.  Jack Black does return as R.L. Stine briefly, Slappy the ventriloquist dummy returns as the prominent villain (containing the wit of the Cryptkeeper), and you might recognize a returning creature like the Abominable Snowman, but most of the creatures here are brand new, some of them pretty gnarly (the gummy bears, the balloon spider, the pumpkin scarecrow, some of the pumpkins).  This theatrical sequel was generally fun in the way family Halloween films of yore have been, but it still felt too short and got a bit showy towards the end.  I can say that I had more fun with this than I did the first time I saw the first Goosebumps movie (it did get a bit better the second time), and I think younger viewers (the general target audience) should enjoy it with the possibility of becoming a film they look back at nostalgically.  10/15/2018

Hotel Artemis                                                              EH
The titular hotel provides help to criminals only (at least those are the rules) and they must be members or are turned away.  The year is 2028 and riots on the streets are out of hand (doesn’t sound much different than the present).  The cast is star-studded but this film is lifeless.  It gets a bit exciting (violent too) towards the end, a bit, but it doesn’t last long.  I shouldn’t be apologizing since my time was wasted but, sorry, I just didn’t enjoy my stay for the most part.  10/10/2018

Malevolent                                                                   OK
“None of the dead ever come back.  But some of them stay.”  Something along those lines were quoted in the beginning of this new Netflix movie taking place in Scotland I assume (Glasgow was sprawled across the screen in the beginning but London was mentioned another time) in 1986.  A brother and sister are part of a business where they pretend to rid ghosts from people’s homes until one visit somehow causes the sister to actually see and hear them.  It begins like a clichéd ghost story and stays that way for quite a bit until becoming another movie (or subgenre more appropriately) during the last quarter which is cliché in itself, making the film more that type of movie and therefore makes the entire film unoriginal.  It’s a shame too because it was so well-made and could’ve actually been somewhat creepy if it focused solely on being a supernatural horror movie.  10/9/2018

Sollers Point                                                                OK
So-so independent film about a lower-class guy in Maryland recently taken off house arrest and trying to get his act back together.  Of course there’s the expected inspirational advice given by some of those close to him, but ultimately he just gets in trouble with those he comes across (mostly from his past) and doesn’t seem to get anywhere.  Not a bad film, just nothing special.  10/17/2018

Terror in the Woods                                                    OK/G
This Lifetime TV movie was obviously inspired by the Slenderman case.  It even states it was based on a true story in the beginning (hmm…).  The supernatural creature here is called Suzerain instead of Slenderman and it’s found on Creepy Storypedia instead of Creepypasta (hmm…).  Two sixth grade girls lure another girl into the woods in an attempt to sacrifice her in order to save them and their families from the Suzerain.  Should sound familiar to anyone familiar with the Slenderman case.  On one hand, it does realistically portray what it’s like being an insecure sixth grader, almost as much as, if not better than, Eighth Grade.  The acting may not have been superb but, one, it’s a Lifetime TV movie and, two, the performers were actually that age which may have added some authenticity to it.  Clearly these girls, much like the real ones, were too immature to fully comprehend what they were actually doing.  The one girl even clearly had a mental illness which the parents swept under the rug by claiming she was too young to have one.  While this may not be flawless (as can be expected given the format and channel it aired on), it really wasn’t that bad considering the format and channel it aired on.  10/15/2018


Thrill Ride                                                                   OK
A group of kids attempt to save their Dad’s business by going to an indoor amusement park in Chicago called Happyland where Al Capone allegedly hid a treasure when he built the place in the early Thirties.  This family film is average (nothing more, nothing less) and slightly resembles a Disney Channel feature but not exactly; there’s actually a few mild curse words (I guess that explains the PG rating).  It’s fun occasionally and there’re several semi-successful attempts at past-meets-present humor (statues from the past are brought to life).  The special effects are kinda terrible but few and far between and don’t completely ruin the movie.  This is strictly for the ‘under high school’ crowd; the parents and older siblings likely won’t care one way or the other.  10/11/2018

Truth or Dare                                                              OK/G

How many of these movies are there going to be?  One was just released theatrically by Blumhouse this year!  This one was also released this year (under the radar), directed by Nick Simon and containing a cameo by Heather Langenkamp (“Nancy” from the original A Nightmare on Elm Street for those that don’t know).  Do you think a group of people play the titular game?  (I’ve never seen it played where questions and dares are written on pieces of paper instead of being stated per turn though).  Are they all forced to play and don’t take it seriously until they’re shown what happens when one refuses?  Are losers like me going to keep watching these movies?  (To be less self-deprecating, I’ll say horror nerds like me, but the labels could be synonymous).  Yes, yes, and yes.  Based on my rating though, you can probably guess a BUT is coming.  Well…BUT I actually didn’t mind this entry.  It gets dark at times and has some wince-inducing moments, giving it more of a Saw vibe, plus there’s an interesting approach to presenting a literal haunted house.  Put it this way, I enjoyed it more than the recent Blumhouse release.  10/14/2018


22 July                                                                         OK/G

Yes, I remember hearing about that fateful day in 2011 in Norway that left 77 people dead.  This film available on Netflix chronicles the events and their aftereffects.  It begins right away with the bombing at a government building in Oslo, followed by the mass shooting at a camp on an island.  We then follow the gunman, who holds conservative anti-immigrant ideologies, from his arrest all the way to trial.  It’s amazing how someone like him can even have a trial when he clearly committed the crimes and even more amazing how people like him can simply plead insanity.  We not only see how the aftermath deeply impacted survivors and their loved ones, particularly one family, but also the lawyer defending the Knights Templar terrorist despite stating upfront how much he disagrees with what he did.  I personally think it would’ve been a better movie, more harrowing too, if we spent the majority of the film getting to know the victims at the camp (and government building) before the known tragedy; but this approach, although a bit lengthy at almost 2 ½ hours, was okay and I’m sure won’t be the last we see on the subject.  10/11/2018

Western                                                                       B
This isn’t exactly a western, not in the American sense at least.  It takes place in Bulgaria where a group of German men are working near a town that looks stuck in the past according to some.  Allegedly there was a history of Germans in this town which occasionally causes some animosity amongst the townspeople and workers.  It could’ve also stemmed from a minor altercation between a German worker and a female Bulgarian.  This was one of those in which you kept thinking it was going to get good but never quite does.  It was two hours too!  It doesn’t even work as a character study, not effectively at least.  Waste of friggin’ time!  10/16/2018


The Witch Files                                                           OK/G
Much like the werewolf film, the witch film is a subgenre that’s underrepresented and doesn’t contain many worthy titles (at least in horror).  Sure, there are many films, horror or not, that contain witches but aren’t strictly focused on them.  The Wizard of Oz is ultimately a family fantasy simply containing them.  I have yet to see a witch film I can truly call a masterpiece.  The Witches may be good for nostalgia and for being based on a Roald Dahl novel, but I enjoyed it more in my younger years.  The Craft is fun and may have achieved a bit of cult status, but it’s definitely no masterpiece by a long shot.  Wicked Lake is a decent indie film that’s far from great and hasn’t achieved any kind of status (shocking considering Al Jourgensen from Ministry was involved).  The Witch was good but definitely overrated in my opinion.  If the comic book, Wytches, ever becomes a movie or series, I can see that having potential cult status since I was a big fan of the reading material.  Anyway, this movie involves a group of teen girls in Maine that dabble in witchcraft after meeting up with a goth girl recently returned to town.  This movie wasn’t bad.  Corny?  Sort of, in the Afterschool Special/TV movie variety which is never necessarily a bad thing.  It’s more enjoyable and more fitting as a teen movie featuring witches than as a witch movie involving teens.  It is a found footage movie of sorts since everything is filmed, but the format doesn’t distract the overall narrative.  I know there’s a great witch movie out there waiting to get made or seen by my eyes, but I can settle for passable ones like this in the meantime.  10/10/2018

---Sean O.

No comments:

Post a Comment