Arizona OK/G
Dark comedy revolving around the housing crisis (at least in
Arizona) taking place in 2009. Emphasis
on the comedy at first, and predominantly, and it is funny at times, but it
does get dark, or more action-y and violent (yes, there is blood). Fun for a good deal but the humor doesn’t
exactly mesh well with the occasional dark subject matter. Danny McBride plays the goofy psycho. I did enjoy this more than his recent Halloween movie (he actually co-wrote
and executive produced that), but not more than his two-season HBO series, Vice Principals (check that out if you
haven’t already). 10/29/2018
Breath OK
Australian film taking place in the Seventies I assume (one
kid’s hairstyle, record player, hippies, no cell phones) that’s equal parts
coming-of-age and inspirational sports movie.
The sport is surfing and the surf scenes weren’t that impressive (some
were decent) considering the geographic location and nowhere near as thrilling
as the scenes in either version of Point
Break (especially the remake). The
movie was decent but surprisingly lacked substance even at almost two
hours. 10/31/2018
Curse of the Nun OK
I’m guessing this is the lower-budget/direct-to-video/poor
person’s companion to the big-budget Conjuring
spinoff, The Nun, as they were both
released this year? I have yet to see The Nun but I’m sure they’re not exactly alike; the settings are
different, that much I know. There is
actually a subgenre called Nunsploitation (Google it) which usually involves
nuns engaging in “forbidden” activities (sex, violence, etc.), not necessarily
just for containing them; hell, if that was the case, The Sound of Music would be Nunsploitation, would it not? This film may contain a smidgen of
Nunsploitation---it contains a ghostly nun that did something “forbidden” in
most religions---but it leans more towards simply being a haunted house
film. Typically in haunted house films,
the tenant(s) are urged to get out, while here, the woman is urged to stay
before she’s about to move out (there is a reason for the demand of
course). This film didn’t appear that low-budget and it is direct-to-video, but I can’t yet say
if it’s a poor person’s (I don’t say poor man’s
as to be equal, you’re welcome feminists!) version of The Nun since I have yet to see it like I said, and while it may
not exactly be worth watching, I didn’t hate it, I just didn’t think it
contained much substance. The characters
were actually very aware of their situation by mentioning movies though, and
there was a Walmart bag at one time (product placement usually costs money), so
clearly these people were trying...11/6/2018
Custody OK
French film (yes, that means subtitles) about two divorced
parents fighting over the terms of custody for their son who isn’t legal yet
like his sister. Of course the father
gets less time with him, accusations of being abusive could’ve been a reason,
and this naturally makes him upset. The
beginning was actually a bit tense in the manner of 12 Angry Men but also made me wonder when it was finally going to
wrap up. The bulk of the film portrays
how this separation affects everyone, all but the sister who seems neutral, and
you know the hypermasculine father is eventually going to do something, and he
does. I can’t speak from personal
experience, but I’ve seen what divorce can do to some people, especially the
kids, but I just didn’t see what made this story so special for the most
part. There’s a short film on the DVD
special features called Just Before
Losing Everything which birthed this feature film; I actually liked that
better. 10/30/2018
Devil’s Gate OK/G
Pretty good film that begins with a missing person(s) case,
tied to a man living in the middle of nowhere, and turns into an alien invasion
flick. The creatures weren’t bad, kinda
vampiric, and the film may get derivative (Invasion
of the Body Snatchers, Signs, The Forgotten, and even Dreamcatcher came to mind at times), but
it really seems to stand on its own. I
still felt like a part of the story was missing though, like it was simply a
longer episode of an anthology series. I
definitely lean more towards G though and think it deserves a look. 11/3/2018
Don’t Watch This: Season One EH/OK
In regards to the title of this 5-episode series available
on Netflix, I personally don’t think it’s entirely worth it, but it barely totals
30 minutes altogether with the longest and best episode being 10 minutes. Episode 1 (“Friendship Bracelet”) was pretty
good, reminding me of both Excision
and May. Episode 2 (“CTRL+ALT+DEL”) was too
techno-thriller-ish for me and seemed like a Z-grade video-game based movie
that overstayed its welcome at just 6 minutes!
Episode 3 (“Incommodum”) would surely make Luis Bunuel and Salvador Dali
proud with its 3-minutes of random surreal imagery, but is rather pointless for
the general population. Episode 4 (“Keep
Out”) is just an okay 8-minute segment about 2 guys investigating an abandoned
house that isn’t exactly abandoned, and its brevity actually works better in
its favor (I don’t think I could’ve put up with even a half-hour segment of
it). Finally, episode 5 (“Antoni
Psycho”) presents itself as a day-in-the-life of a certain reality TV star that
has a dark secret (gee, I wonder where the title was cribbed from). All in all, you won’t waste too much time at
all if you decide to watch, but I would personally say to just watch the first
episode (“Friendship Bracelet”) and use the other 20 minutes to watch an
episode of something better, or just use it more wisely in general. Brevity doesn’t always work as also proven
with The ABCs of Death. 10/31/2018
14 Cameras OK
[Like modern thrillers
of this sort, the ending suggests a possible sequel that most likely won’t
happen or go unnoticed if it does. I
certainly won’t care and I’ll probably forget about this movie before I watch
the next similar thriller. 10/1/2016]
That was the end of my review for the preceding entry, 13 Cameras, written 2 years ago (read
the entire review in my archives, www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com,
under ‘T’---I alphabetize numeric titles based on their spelling). Well, that’s why I never say never, or at
least try not to. I did forget about the
first one until seeing this movie advertised on Redbox though, and I only
watched this because it was free on Netflix. The same creepy, middle-aged, slack-jawed
voyeur returns this time installing hidden cameras in a vacation rental home
and posting the videos online (I actually forgot what he looked like and had to
research to see if it was the same guy; it is, the same actor at least). He also keeps women in an underground bunker;
according to my review of the first one, he kept a woman hidden in the basement
of the house he was spying in on. I gave
13 Cameras an EH/OK rating, so
apparently I liked this one better? Barely,
although I can’t remember much, and my rating is solely based on my curiosity
to see how it would end. Plus, I wasn’t entirely bored. If 15
Cameras is made, and it very well seems like it could be, it likely won’t
be necessary nor much different than its predecessors, but I’m not going to say
whether I’ll tune in again judging by my clipped assessment of the first one (above)
and the fact this very review was
written at all. 11/4/2018
The Haunting of Hill
House: Season One OK
Ten-episode Netflix series based on the novel of the same
name by Shirley Jackson. I never read
the book, which I actually own (I haven’t read at least half the books I own),
so I have no idea how faithful this adaptation was. I can probably guess this series added more
material though. The book, at least my
copy (as part of a collection), is 178 pages.
This series consisting of ten episodes as I’ve said, all average about
an hour run-time with the longest being 71 minutes and just one being 43, so
you know that means it is very, very, very drawn out (and it is). Only a few parts are frightening, but very
few and far between with the occasional jump scare too, as this is more of a
somber family drama (which ends sappily) which does do a good job of portraying
their past and present issues as a result of living in the titular house, but I
expected more of a straight horror series, or at least a creepier ghost
story. It is well-shot with a creeping
sense of dread, director Mike Flanagan is quite seasoned, but always seems to
end up lingering in lengthy familial interactions. I don’t see how this couldn’t have been
condensed into an average feature-length film.
The book is on my to-read list, but I’m not sure if I plan on checking
it off anytime soon if this adaptation didn’t deviate too much from it. 10/30/2018
Mandy OK/G
This is basically a highly stylized, arty sadistic Seventies
horror film (despite taking place in 1983) that is clearly not for all
tastes. The plot is as basic as they
come---a man and woman are attacked by a religious cult, the woman is brutally
murdered, the man (played by Nic Cage) then seeks vengeance one by one. The style itself makes it anything but ordinary
though. It often gets trippy as fuck and
contains a color palette that would make Dario Argento proud, possibly even putting
him to shame. You must have patience
though; it is 2 hours and takes its good old time but it’s generally
mesmerizing to behold. It does get
bloody too. I wasn’t a fan at all of the
director’s other film, Beyond the Black
Rainbow, which was 100% style over substance and bored me to death. At least this film had almost as much
substance as style, but his next film should be balanced equally between the
two. 10/31/2018
Mara B
I rolled my eyes from the very start when being presented
with a sleep paralysis statistic. I
thought to myself, another movie involving sleep paralysis?! Pretty soon it might have its own
subgenre. After that, we’re given a
typical supernatural horror movie beginning and it doesn’t get much better
after that. The demon associated with
the sleep phenomenon comes in the form of an apparition called Mara (surprise,
surprise) that allegedly predates Christ (according to this film) and has different
names in other cultures. This movie is
not scary (yeah, there’s the occasional jump scare) and only one part made me
cringe (involving an eyelid); it’s an overlong supernatural body count film
lacking any iota of suspense. Don’t waste
your time with this one, I did it for you.
You’re not welcome! 11/6/2018
Mid90s OK/G
Jonah Hill can direct?
He certainly proved he can with this coming-of-age film during the
titular time period, not quite sure exactly what year. It only focuses on one region though
(California) and one particular subculture (skateboarding). Skateboarding was indeed very big during that
time---I actually told people I was a skater when, in reality, all I ever did
was use my brother’s skateboard on the back deck---but other than the
nonexistence of cell phones, the mention of a Discman, and a few posters of
musicians from the time, there really was no indication that this could’ve been
time period specific. I was alive and
very aware during that time and so was Jonah Hill, but not much brought back
any memories while I was watching (having been unpopular is beside the point). I was kind of reminded of Kids in a way, and ironically that did
come out in the Mid-90’s but took place in New York, in that they’re both realistically
raw narratives. I thoroughly did enjoy
this, but it was too short, making it equivalent to eating a very good meal but
still being hungry afterwards. Again,
Mr. Hill definitely proved he can direct though. 10/30/2018
The Night Eats the
World EH
Another zombie movie?!
This is one of those in which we see the aftereffects of it and how
people, here being one guy, try and survive in this new reality. What exactly makes this entry so
special? Absolutely nothing! A guy shuts himself off from a party in a
room and wakes up to an undead apocalypse.
He barricades himself in the apartment building, scavenges for food,
collects water by leaving buckets and whatnot on the roof for when it rains,
and generally tries to keep himself entertained, like shooting zombies from a window
with a paintball gun and playing with a drum set. I will say that he devised a clever way to
make music with several household items that only someone with all the time on their hands could concoct. Like usual, another human eventually enters
his life but their stay doesn’t last long so I didn’t see why their
introduction even mattered. I never read
the book in which this is based, but this is one of those times where I believe
this story would probably be better if read; that way we would be able to get
inside this man’s head, making it more intimate instead of being bored watching
him be bored. 11/3/2018
Teen Titans Go! To the
Movies EH/OK
I’ve never seen a single episode of the show(s), never had a
desire to, and don’t plan on starting now.
There’re lots of other shows I haven’t even gotten around to watching
yet. I thought the preview for this movie
looked funny before you question why I even bothered with this then. Plus, movies are generally done in one
sitting (yes, I know you can binge-watch a show in one sitting too!). This animated movie is basically a parody of
superhero movies but kind of gets away with it for being a cute cartoon, and
actually does become sort of a superhero movie closer to the end. It was fun and funny…sometimes; sometimes it
wasn’t, sometimes it was rather annoying with failed attempts at humor much
like any live-action parody. I also got
bored pretty early. Again, I’ve never
seen a single episode of anything Teen
Titans related, so maybe I’m not the best person to ask? 11/1/2018
---Sean O.
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