Critters Attack!

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Critters Attack!                                                            OK

This is technically Critters 5; not too long ago there was also a Shudder TV series called A New Binge (my review for it was posted on 4/24/2019).  This currently isn’t available on Netflix (streaming or mail), but it is available at Redbox (which is where I got it) and On Demand.  Well, at least those red-eyed, toothy furballs are still practical after all these years.  Did we really need another movie though?  I hate to say not really, but I’m not going to tell fans (or anyone that’s made it this far) to dismiss this because y’all, like always, are going to watch it regardless of what I or anyone else has to say.  What exactly does one expect from a Critters movie though, especially a fifth one?  I hate to say, something a little better than this.  The title isn’t lying in that the critters do attack and that’s all they do, repetitively (the gore factor is definitely high enough this time to secure an R-rating, something the previous four films did not).  Again, what would someone (especially a fan) expect from a Critters movie?  Yes, but there was no style to most of it, feeling repetitive as I’ve said and like an (I hate to say) unnecessary sequel (at least it wasn’t a remake though).  Nods to Gremlins and Mars Attacks! felt like poor attempts to add “originality” to this entry too.  I’m not trying to say I didn’t enjoy this at all either.  Like I said, I love how they’re still practical (especially in this very much digital age), it’s well-shot like the others for being non-theatrical, and I liked when the critters were the ones being attacked at the end (that was fun).  I just hope if they make another one (you know I’m going to watch it if so), it’s a bit more distinctive (original is nearly impossible these days) and doesn’t feel (ahem) unnecessary.  7/23/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Hail Satan?  >>>G

Missing Link  >>>OK/G

A Violent Separation  >>>OK

We Have Always Lived in the Castle  >>>OK

---Sean O.
7/25/2019

Crawl

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Crawl                                                                          G

Hurricanes are frightening on their own.  Imagine alligators in those rising waters.  Such is the premise in this new feature directed by Alexandre Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes and Piranha remakes) wherein a girl drives into the hurricane zone to check on her father who’s not answering his phone.  An article on social media listed five films to watch---Bait, Cujo, Deep Blue Sea, Rogue, Burning Bright---in preparation for this film.  I could tell where all those influences came in, all good ones too, but I think it has the most in common with Bait and Burning Bright in terms of overall scope.  What makes a concept like this so frightening, as well as those aforementioned films, is its verisimilitude; this could really happen, and I’m sure it has.  The alligators obviously couldn’t be real, at least in regards to human interaction, but they looked real enough.  Since this was still a movie though, some of it was too far-fetched---I don’t care how fast a swimmer you may be, you’re not going to outswim a gator, let alone several (the main character is rarely ever killed in these films though and somehow the creatures always know that); and how does a gator break through a wall and house window so easily, but can’t crack a glass shower door right away?  Some of it was a bit predictable too, or formulaic possibly, like when any extra characters appeared and were inevitably attacked; just a matter of when and how they played out; there is blood too (probably what ultimately garnered the R-rating).  And while part of me feels it was kind of short and ended too abruptly, the other part of me feels it may have been a wise choice to avoid becoming repetitive and overstaying its welcome.  Criticisms aside, it was still an enjoyable natural disaster/natural horror hybrid that I have a feeling might get better with more viewings.  7/15/2019

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Fast Color  >>>G

Little  >>>OK

Scream:  Season One  >>>OK

            (VH1/Netflix)

Sexual Chronicles of a French Family  >>>B/EH

What Men Want  >>>EH

---Sean O.
7/18/2019

Stranger Things: Season Three

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Stranger Things:  Season Three                                  VG

I liked the first season of this Eighties-set Netflix series, but didn’t love it.  I didn’t like the second season as much, but it was still decent (my reviews for both are in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com).  This season, set in 1985, is the best one yet.  It incorporates the communist fear of the time in addition to consumerist culture being at an all-time high while still focusing on the young characters dealing with otherworldly (as well as human) beings in their small town of Hawkins, Indiana.  I knew it was going to be a good season from the get-go when some of the kids snuck in to see Day of the Dead at the mall theater (granted, that isn’t the best of the Romero movies, but the kids could’ve snuck in to see countless other movies released in 1985).  I believe this season was the most horror-oriented although still having a very sci-fi plot.  In addition to the pop culture references, I noticed nods to The Terminator (the main Russian baddie was an obvious stand-in for Mr. Schwarzenegger), Tremors, Evil Dead 2, and for a brief moment was reminded of The Faculty (even though that was released in the Nineties), just to name a few, but never thought any were cheap knockoffs.  The creature is obviously CGI but completely passable (a big improvement over the “demadogs” from last season and even better than the Demogorgon from the first).  I binged the entire season in one day with obvious breaks in between, never forcing myself to continue, and was only bored for maybe three minutes during one of all 8 episodes wherein 7 were between 50-minutes to an hour and the last one being 78.  Otherwise, this season contained nary a single moment I didn’t want to watch, so it looks like season four has some competition…7/8/2019

Bonus reviews:

Pet Sematary                                                               EH

As much as I frown upon the notion of remakes and always bitch about them yet still watch them anyway, I’ve learned to try and give them a chance by telling myself not to hate them beforehand and not compare them to the original.  It is often very hard to do that though.  Michael Gingold said in his Rue Morgue review that this version was an improvement on the original (Seriously?  Did you even see the original?  I know you obviously did, but WTF?!).  I completely disagree with Mr. Gingold.  The original Pet Sematary will always hold a special place in my heart (the nostalgia factor).  The first half of this version was almost exactly the same as the original with different performers (aside from the obvious change in child death).  The second half attempted to change things up but was absolutely not an improvement on the original and might have worked in another movie (or if the original didn’t exist).  This version just wasn’t as dark and depressing (in the effective way) as the original.  I wasn’t convinced by the grieved performances in this version as much as the original.  Victor Pascow wasn’t as memorable this time, nor did he make as much of an appearance.  The Starcrawler version of “Pet Sematary” during the end credits wasn’t nearly as good as The Ramones version in the original (The Creepshow did a better cover of the song).  It may have been well-shot, but the best thing in this unnecessary remake was the animal masks that weren’t even featured as prominently as the trailer suggested.  Plus, I’m not going to deny that the ending was a bit dark (in a different way than the original was).  You can pick your version to like, but I’m sticking with the original 1989 version I grew up with!  7/9/2019

Pyewacket                                                                   OK/G

Usually, at least in the movies, it never leads to anything good when you perform a dark ritual.  Such is the case here when a gothic teenager summons the titular demon to kill her mother after a serious argument.  Not much happens but you know something eventually will and I thought that’s what made it effective and kept my attention throughout.  I didn’t feel like it was over when it ended though, not exactly in the Gone Girl way either, so I can’t rightfully give it a strictly G rating, even though I lean much closer to G.  I am a fan of the director’s other much different film, Backcountry, and was mostly a fan of this, so I am interested in what he (Adam MacDonald) puts out next.  7/9/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Animals  >>>OK

Sicilian Ghost Story  >>>OK/G

Trail of Blood  >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
7/10/2019

Annabelle Comes Home

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Annabelle Comes Home                                             G

Annabelle 3?  Yes, chronologically too as it takes place after the second film (Creation) and the first film which was technically the second one.  It takes place after The Conjuring too (which exists in the same universe) and I’m not exactly sure before, during, or after The Conjuring 2, but whatever, this is a review, not a synopsis, and I don’t think it’s mandatory to view any of those films beforehand, but it might be wise.  I was initially disappointed with Annabelle since I expected an evil doll movie and was actually a demonic movie reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby.  The titular doll is simply just present in each film and attracts evil spirits.  I’ve learned to appreciate the first film more as a demonic one instead of an evil doll one though.  Annabelle:  Creation was better than Annabelle and not only because I knew not to expect an evil doll movie, but because it was an effectively made haunted house movie (check out my review in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com).  This was also a well-shot haunted house film seemingly tailored for horror fans, fans of the Annabelle films or not.  Sure, there are jump scares that are more annoying than frightening (anyone living and breathing is naturally going to react when the music is suddenly amplified), but I don’t recall ever disliking it at any time.  I liked it better than Annabelle (only because I wasn’t disappointed with this the first time) but not better than Annabelle:  Creation.  I’m giving it a mild recommendation for indiscriminate horror fans and those that are going to see it anyway, but I suggest you see it in the theater or at night with no lights on being there’s a significant amount of dark scenes (I, for one, can’t stand that glare or reflection in my TV during the daytime).  7/1/2019

Bonus review:

Wu-Tang Clan:  Of Mics and Men                              OK/G

Four-episode miniseries available on Showtime featuring the 9 members (RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, ODB, Ghostface Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, and Masta Killa with Cappadonna being an extra member) from Staten Island collectively known as the Wu-Tang Clan.  Now, when Wu-Tang became big back in the Nineties, I hated them.  I hated most rap.  At the time, I wasn’t interested (for the most part) in anything but metal and punk.  Everyone else loved Wu-Tang though---the black kids, the white kids, the brown kids, even some metalheads and punks that swore they hated rap.  I seemed to see Wu-Wear everywhere I looked.  Fast forward a couple years though when I expanded my musical horizons, or admitted I liked other genres more like it, and Wu-Tang became one of my favorite rap groups (I like their first two albums, 36 Chambers and Wu-Tang Forever, but none of the releases after that stood out).  I would imagine you’d need some interest in the group (past or present) to invest your time in this documentary that’s roughly four hours total (each segment an hour give or take).  Like most biopics, it gives the artist(s) we generally only know as artists a human quality while chronicling their history from the beginning to the present.  The 9 are definitely a rags-to-riches story.  Like many others from low-income neighborhoods, they dealt with poverty, racism, and drug use/dealing growing up.  I was shocked to hear one member was penniless after getting out of jail despite all his prior success with the group and as a solo artist.  I was also surprised to hear one member say a specific job he had before forming Wu-Tang was one of the highlights of his life whether he was being facetious or not.  Another member you’ll find out is related to two other famous people.  So yeah, there are some informative tidbits contained within, but since it’s a total of four hours (it was actually a wise move to make them segments to take breaks in between), there are parts that drag and much of the information likely could’ve been researched on your own, even though visual media is an avenue for information as well.  I definitely wasn’t unsatisfied by the end, as any fan (past or present) shouldn’t be, and regardless of how you feel about the group overall, there’s no denying their legendary status in hip-hop history.  6/30/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Cured  >>>EH

Elizabeth Harvest  >>>OK

First Man  >>>EH

The Isle  >>>EH/OK

Nightfall  >>>VB

What Keeps You Alive   >>>G

---Sean O.
7/1/2019