The Room/The Pool/Cursed Films

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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The Room (2019)                                                        OK/G

A heterosexual couple move into a new house wherein they discover a boarded-up room that can grant as many wishes as they want.  There’s really no explanation why, but would one really care in such a circumstance?  I certainly wouldn’t.  Things go great for a bit until they learn, like any fictional scenario involving wishes, you should be careful what you wish for (as promo art for the film also states)!  And, as in similar narratives containing a premise that seems too good to be true, there is a catch, not a huge one, but one in which certain wishes are deemed completely futile.  I was wondering how they could take a simple premise like this and make it work for 99 minutes, and they do for the most part, but it still could’ve been a bit shorter and I think the compelling direction it took towards the end could’ve lead it to darker places if expanded upon, sooner instead of later.  I’m still not dismissing this though.  7/22/2020

The Pool (2018)                                                          OK/G

This Thai film (yes, that means subtitles if you don’t understand Thai) features a man ending up in quite the predicament after working on a film shot at a (you guessed it…) pool.  This pool is 6 meters deep as we’re informed (that equals roughly 20 feet) and our protagonist is tasked with draining it after the shoot.  After falling asleep on a float, he realizes the water level got too low and he can’t climb out.  What kind of pool, especially one that deep, doesn’t have a ladder built into it?  Murphy’s Law certainly besets our dude, whether he goes down the drain or tries climbing out with whatever resources are at hand, and any kind of help always seems to come at the wrong time.  Oh, I forgot to mention that we’re informed of a loose crocodile after a flood, so that’s yet another thing our hero has to worry about after it ends up in the pool.  The crocodile did only seem to attack when it chose to and that could be because it was in an empty pool instead of a filled one which would’ve made the man more vulnerable.  The crocodile looked like it could’ve been both CGI and real at times, but it was passable for the most part and I’ve definitely seen worse (don’t be put off by the beginning like I was; that’s when it looked the fakest).  This survival flick is very plausible, but I don’t think it was able to sustain itself for 90 minutes and the ending was a bit too positive for me, predictably so.  Not a bad film though.  7/22/2020

Cursed Films

Five-episode documentary series available on Shudder covering The Exorcist, The Omen (1976), Poltergeist (1982), The Crow, and Twilight Zone:  The Movie.  Now, if you’re a horror fan, or even just a movie fan, or even just frequently read up on the news, chances are you’ve heard of incidents surrounding films that enable them to be labeled as “cursed.”  Before this, I did know about the deaths befalling cast members on Poltergeist, the accidental death of Brandon Lee on the set of The Crow (I’ve heard people say it happened at the end in the church, but this series proves where and how it happened), and the accidental deaths on the set of the Twilight Zone movie (the description here makes it sound a whole lot more tragic).  I did learn some things, such as a killer working on The Exorcist, the brush with death Richard Donner nearly had while working on The Omen, and a specific horror veteran cast in The Crow as a villain whose scene was no longer used after Brandon’s death.  Some bits were simply just filler, such as the real exorcisms performed on The Exorcist episode which had no direct correlation to the film itself, and the various discussions on stunts that deviated from the film in question during the Twilight Zone one (only Kane Hodder’s interviews would’ve sufficed since they seemed the most relevant).  You might learn something new if you’re interested in any kind of film discussions, especially if you’re a fan of any of these films.  I’m a fan of them all, the original Poltergeist and The Crow being two of my favorites, I like The Exorcist and The Omen but don’t adore them like many others do, and I think I might need to re-watch the Twilight Zone movie since its been a while.  As for whether I think these films are actually cursed, I personally don’t believe in any of that, but I’d like to think I’m open-minded in hearing different theories, and you’ll hear opinions from both sides of the spectrum within.  The episodes only range from 26-29 minutes each, meaning you can binge this is one sitting coupled with any bathroom or snack-grab breaks.  7/22/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Confessional  >>>EH/OK

    (Shudder)

The Dirties  >>>EH

The Good Liar  >>>OK

I Am Santa Claus  >>>OK/G

Knuckleball (2018)  >>>OK

Lake of Death  >>>EH

    (Shudder)

---Sean O.
7/25/2020

The Beach House/Daniel Isn't Real

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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The Beach House                                                        G/VG

This bears the same title as several other films (as a Google or All Movie search will prove) and an R.L. Stine novel (sans the The), but this is none of those films nor an adaptation of that book; it is a recent Shudder exclusive.  In it, a young straight couple head to a family (wait for it…) beach house during the off season (it was filmed in Massachusetts but I don’t recall a disclosed location) and see that an older couple (friends of the family) are staying there as well.  The entire neighborhood seems to be deserted (as is often the case for most beach towns from Labor Day to Memorial Day).  Eventually, everything goes to shit and none of it is caused by anything human.  We’re hinted of something rising from the bottom of the ocean in the beginning, there are discussions of alien life on other planets as well as here on our planet, and we do get glimpses of unearthly lifeforms among other things, but there really are no direct answers and there didn’t need to be.  I could probably compare it to a couple other movies (particularly those of the cosmic Lovecraftian variety), but this eerie well-shot film worked perfectly fine on its own and was thoroughly engaging throughout.  Recommended.  7/19/2020

Daniel Isn’t Real                                                         OK/G

At least the title tells us right away that Daniel is just an imaginary friend to our protagonist, Luke.  Imagine a darker Drop Dead Fred.  After Daniel does something bad when they’re kids, Luke “locks” him up in a dollhouse until years later when a psychiatrist suggests he “unlock” that part of his life.  Of course Luke is going to be blamed and look like a psycho when Daniel does something wrong since only Luke can see him.  Yes, we’ve seen these scenarios countless times before.  Is Daniel an imaginary friend?  Is Luke simply crazy like his mother (who becomes institutionalized and obviously went through a bad marriage as earlier scenes suggest)?  Or, is Daniel simply the repressed evil side of Luke many claim we all have in us?  While it does go on a bit longer than it should, hence my impatience for it at times, I think it did a pretty swell job of portraying how real Daniel may or may not have been without being too perplexing.  7/20/2020

Bonus reviews:

Blood Quantum                                                           OK/G

This takes place on the Red Crow Indian Reservation in 1981.  The first Americans (yes, that includes First Nations) probably get the least amount of screen representation.  Dances with Wolves, while great, is chock full of stereotypes.  What I should’ve said is that there aren’t too many modern representations of indigenous Americans.  Sure, there’s Dance Me Outside, Smoke Signals, and pretty much any movie directed by Chris Eyre, but this is the first time I’ve seen them in their own feature-length zombie movie, let alone horror movie (if there’s more, do let me know; I’m always learning).  The Natives in this film seem to be the only ones immune to becoming zombies if bitten (even fish and dogs can turn!), but that still doesn’t mean they can’t be killed another way, i.e. ripped apart and eaten alive.  There is a theory (no direct answer) suggested as to why, but I’m guessing it all metaphorically ties in with the troubled history of post-colonial North America.  I’ve been wrong before though.  As for being a zombie film, it’s not bad and there’s some praiseworthy gore, but I don’t think it’s entirely distinguishable (save the Native immunity) other than containing fresh representation in a stale subgenre.  I know I’ve said it before and I’ll repeat it---representation is great, but it doesn’t mean innovative aside from that fact.  7/20/2020

Scream, Queen!  My Nightmare on Elm Street           OK/G

Documentary focusing on Mark Patton, the star of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2:  Freddy’s Revenge.  Now, I love the Wes Craven-helmed A Nightmare on Elm Street from 1984 and, while I don’t dislike any of the sequels, the only one that stands out for me is part three (Dream Warriors; ironically, Wes Craven co-wrote it).  Freddy Krueger just never was one of my favorite cinematic boogeymen.  The aforementioned sequel in question has become known as a gay horror film whether that was anyone’s initial intention or not.  Mark Patton is gay himself, but was still closeted upon its release in 1985, a time when being openly gay was still embarrassing and arguably dangerous (I was a teen during the Nineties and I can attest to society still being largely homophobic then).  I don’t remember thinking of it as a gay film when I first saw it, just simply another slasher film regardless of containing gay characters and/or subtexts (I was also still mostly in the closet and didn’t want to accept that part of myself).  You don’t necessarily need to have seen Freddy’s Revenge to watch this as it deals more with what Mark Patton has been up to since that film and his struggles of life as a gay man, particularly during his early years as an actor.  All that being said, I’m not sure who this film might particularly interest.  I could say it would interest horror fans, but not all horror fans like the A Nightmare on Elm Street series, let alone A Nightmare on Elm Street 2.  I could say it would interest gay men because it might resonate with them the most, but not all gay men like horror movies, let alone the A Nightmare on Elm Street movies, let alone A Nightmare on Elm Street 2.  Gay horror fans would likely be the most interested, but I never like to pigeonhole entertainment.  All that being said, you decide if you want to invest your time; I told you what it contains.  I, being a gay horror fan, liked it enough.  7/20/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Masque of the Red Death (1964)  >>>EH

The Premature Burial (1962)  >>>EH

Scare Package   >>>OK

   (Shudder)

Z   >>>OK

 (Shudder)       

---Sean O.
7/21/2020

Asylum

Asylum                                                                                    G

I usually try to reserve this blog for more recent fare, but I never saw this anthology film from 1972 until now after seeing it posted on social media (keep informing me!).  Yes, I always amaze myself at what I haven’t seen and still wonder what I have yet to see (or just never got around to seeing).  I’m especially surprised I haven’t seen this before considering I love anthology films, love Seventies movies, and the segments were based on stories by Robert Bloch (most famous for penning Psycho).  There are four tales contained amongst a wraparound story which is arguably a tale itself tied in with one of them.  A potential hire arrives at an asylum and is tasked with meeting the inmates (providing each segment) before answering a question that will be the determining factor for his employment.  You’ll recognize the one guy from A Clockwork Orange (Patrick Magee).  “Frozen Fear” involves an unfaithful husband that can’t seem to successfully get rid of his wife.  It works despite being slightly silly and audiences must have thought it was innovative at the time.  “The Weird Tailor” is about a down-on-his-luck (you guessed it…) tailor tasked with making a suit, initially unbeknownst to him, containing a rather specific quality; Peter Cushing appears.  “Lucy Comes to Stay” stars Charlotte Rampling and would be far from fresh nowadays, but it’s still an effective yarn and the only one I recalled reading the short story for while watching (it was largely faithful from recollection).  Finally, “Mannikins of Horror” ties in with the wraparound segment and involves a patient making lifelike dolls that wouldn’t seem out of place in a Puppet Master film.  Let’s just say the dolls look lifelike for a reason and things don’t turn out so well for the dollmaker and someone else in the asylum.  Afterwards, I read “Mannikins of Horror” and “Frozen Fear” from my Robert Bloch collection (The Complete Stories of Robert Bloch:  Final Reckonings), “The Weird Tailor” not being contained within, and, like “Lucy Comes to Stay,” the adaptations are largely faithful; I, myself, liked “Mannikins” better in print and “Frozen Fear” better visually.  This film is largely bloodless, but I can expect it given the time of release, and implied violence, as evidenced here, can sometimes suffice.  All in all, I didn’t dislike any of the segments even though they may not have felt fresh (this was released in 1972 after all), but given all that I’ve seen in my lifetime, anthology films or otherwise, this film was entirely passable viewed through a 2020 mindset.  I’m still amazed I haven’t seen it until now!  7/7/2020

Bonus review:

The Baby-Sitters Club:  Season One                           OK/G

I never read a single book in the series created by Ann M. Martin and I have an older sister that owned them all.  I was busier reading Goosebumps and Fear Street books (I still do!).  I read this was a modern update of the series available on Netflix and decided to give it a shot after seeing all the episodes were under 30-minutes, and I figured it couldn’t be as bad as that 1995 movie I just remember being corny (I might be more forgiving of its corniness now, but I don’t plan on re-watching it anytime soon).  Apparently there was another TV series in 1990 on HBO that I just found out about as of this writing.  As for this current adaptation, I did watch all 10 episodes in a short period of time, so that has to say something, no?  Like I said, I never read a single book and I’ve only seen the 1995 movie, so I wouldn’t know if any of this was faithful to the literary material; I just saw it as a harmless, coming-of-age series that clearly knows its target audience and everyone else might enjoy it if they momentarily set aside their age and gender; I think we’re all non-binary despite what any trans(women)phobic feminazi girly girls or homophobic toxic masculinists would say!  I, myself, would’ve preferred something more raw given it primarily involves seventh grade girls, but I still think it realistically incorporated much of what young girls (and boys) go through at that age, i.e. drama, fights, crushes, puberty, and it scores points for inclusivity (meaning sexuality and gender identity are recognized in addition to race and gender).  Now, I don’t plan on reading any of the books now, nor do I plan on checking out the 1990 series, or even look forward to any upcoming seasons, but for someone that never really was a fan of the series and kind of enjoyed it enough (at least momentarily), I’m curious as to what someone that actually is or was a fan will think.  7/8/2020

---Sean O.
7/9/2020

Becky

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Becky                                                                           OK

The eponymous 13-year-old recently lost her mother and goes with her father (played by Joel McHale) to their lake house where his new girlfriend and her son meet them.  Needless to say, she isn’t too happy about it.  Meanwhile, a group of prisoners nearby are being transported and somehow manage to escape (won’t they ever learn in movies?).  One of the prisoners (played by Kevin James) is looking for something at said lake house, the titular character has that something, and I don’t think I need to tell you that things don’t turn out so well for everyone involved.  I could say it’s an R-rated Home Alone, but not quite.  I could also say it reminded me a bit of the original I Spit on Your Grave without the brutal rape scenes, one of the kills here cribbed right from it.  Or I could just say it’s like any other home invasion film with a plot similar to the synopsis mentioned above.  Becky certainly doesn’t win any points for originality.  The violence would likely be its only redeemable factor, some being noteworthy (particularly one scene involving school supplies), while one part is too dark (as in lighting) to fully appreciate it.  I credit Lulu Wilson’s performance of Becky, as she portrayed how a 13-year-old likely would act in this situation, but I still don’t think we truly got to know most of the characters (both good and bad) even in 93-minutes (good characterizations could have been another redeemable factor).  If you’ve never happened to see a film with the description above, I would say you could do worse, but if you have (like me), this is ultimately forgettable.  7/3/2020

Bonus review:

Ju-On:  Origins (season one)                                      EH

New six-episode series available on Netflix revolving around the Ju-On/Grudge property created by Takashi Shimizu.  Mr. Shimizu has no involvement and I’m guessing this is a prequel to the movies (I read it’s sort of a prequel, whatever that means), as it takes place from 1988 to 1997 (which was before any of the movies came out), but I think it’s just a spinoff, unnecessary at that.  It has the same framework as the franchise---a particular house is haunted due to someone dying there (the house here isn’t even the same as the other entries), a resulting curse is born, and anyone that enters said house is cursed no matter where they go.  This series adds nothing new to the overall story which I don’t even think needs to be expanded any further given how repetitive it is (the curse can just keep endlessly affecting more and more people that come into contact with it).  The only positive thing I can say is that it is only six episodes ranging from 27 to 31 minutes, but that’s still roughly 3 hours of lost time, so, nevermind, there really is nothing positive I can say.  Not only was the second Grudge remake the worst movie of the year so far, but I think this lame cash-in might be the worst TV show of the year so far.  Therefore, I think I’m all Grudged out; this year and from here on out for that matter!  7/5/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Benjamin (2019)  >>>EH

Blood on Her Name  >>>OK/G

George Lopez:  We’ll Do It for Half  >>>OK

            (Netflix)

---Sean O.
7/6/2020