I Like Moobies: January 2023

Sunday, January 22, 2023

Kids vs. Aliens

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Kids vs. Aliens G

Spin-off film of a segment in V/H/S/2, both directed by Jacob Eisener (I recommend the short film he also directed, Treevenge, which you can check out on YouTube). This roughly 75-minute feature is fast-paced with barely enough room to breathe. I enjoyed it though (as I did the vignette in the aforementioned anthology film). As you can deduce from the title, it involves kids (and teenagers) that must fight for their lives after aliens crash a Halloween party at one of their houses (the teen girl and young boy’s parents definitely aren’t going to win any ‘Parents of the Year’ awards). These aliens don’t want to be anyone’s friend; they simply want to annihilate in more ways than one. There is violence, yes, towards both humans and aliens. It did end too soon, but I have a feeling this may not be all we’re going to see since the story obviously isn’t over…1/22/2023

Bonus reviews:

All Eyes OK/G

[POTENTIAL SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW]

After being fired for a certain incident on his podcast, a dude takes an offer for a decent sum of cash. The offer? Tell this one man’s story about claims of a monster living in the woods near his home in Oklahoma. First he has to meet this guy at the post office in town. Then he has to follow him a ways before being told to hop in his truck blindfolded to avoid knowing where he lives. That’s not suspicious at all! He lives in the middle of nowhere, the house being booby-trapped inside and out, he claiming to forget where some of the traps may be. Yeah, this dude’s not off his rocker! He actually ends up not being the one you need to worry about. Our protagonist eventually labels the house “the escape room from Hell,” and it wouldn’t be out of place in Maximum Overdrive. I wasn’t sure if I should reveal whether there is actually a monster and if we do get to see it, but there is one and you do see it briefly at the end and I wasn’t a fan. Otherwise, this movie generally isn’t that bad for not getting any known exposure (I stumbled across it by accident when searching for other movies). I really didn’t know what to expect. There is a bit of suspense with a few surprises in store. 1/20/2023

Among the Living EH

(haiku review)

Fresh subgenre take?

Nope, not really; not to me.

Standard zombie flick. 1/20/2023

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Angel (1984) >>>EH/OK

The Batman >>>EH

Croc! >>>B/EH

The Night Shift (Ghost Mansion) >>>OK

(In Korean with subtitles)

---Sean O.

1/22/2023

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Crabs!

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Crabs! EH

Giant horseshoe crabs created by a briefly seen nuclear explosion attack a nearby town. Some of the crabs transform into giant creatures. There’s a giant robot too. It is gory. Is it fun? Unfortunately…no. Not as much fun as a B-movie, or even Z-movie, should be. Is it funny? Sometimes, but not nearly enough to make up for its lack of fun. I couldn’t stand the foreign kid (played by an American), and that goes for the extremely dopey song he sings during the end credits too. Complete disappointment. It’s a shame too since the effects were practical, or at least they all appeared to be, and it’s barely 80-minutes. 1/11/2023

Bonus reviews:

Interview with the Vampire (Season One) EH/OK

I’ll be honest; I don’t think I would’ve watched this adaptation (available on AMC) had it not been voted best TV series of 2022 in Rue Morgue Magazine. I may not always agree with them, as much as I love the publication, but they do always make me curious. I never read the source material, or anything by Anne Rice, for that matter, and the 1994 film starring Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise was never one of my favorites, but I don’t remember disliking it. The story likely remains intact---a vampire during the present recounts a time in the past (Louisiana, 1920s) when he was turned and lived with his “creator.” The characterizations are fine and there is violence, but this series is a slow burn; very, very slow, testing my patience a couple times (there are seven episodes all passing the 40-minute mark, the pilot being over an hour). Looks like I disagreed with one of my favorite magazines again, but you never know until you check something out yourself, right? There is a season two planned, but I don’t think I’ll continue; I gave this a shot. Plus, I’d likely need to re-watch this season again beforehand which I don’t intend to do (I know, I say that now, but…whatever). 1/11/2023

Toga OK

Upstate Story is an independent feature I was a fan of; I’ve since become friends with its multi-hyphenate star/director, Shaun Rose (you can check out my review for the film in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/03/the-outsider-season-one.html, and my review for the documentary on the making-of it, Making and Unmaking, in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/12/soul.html). This film is a sequel to Upstate, so I suggest you watch that first (if you haven’t already). It picks up seven years later as we witness Ellis (played again by Mr. Rose) living in a different location, but returning to his hometown (that being Saratoga Springs, New York) to take photos for an independent movie he’s working on. This is once again a character study that’s mostly voiceover, Ellis being rather drab with the occasional sardonic wit, but someone we likely can all relate to. Seeing media with characters that rival our own miserable lives, or having even worse ones, is often welcome due to its relatability (Roseanne is one of my favorite sitcoms for that reason, and I’ve been keeping up with The Conners too; these people are real!). I totally related to some aspects of Ellis’s life---I, too, fear having to go to the bathroom while out in public (yes, getting old sucks); I, too, hated high school with a passion; I, too, still enjoy going on the swings in a park. However, much like many sequels, I didn’t enjoy this as much as its predecessor, but it’s still a decent follow-up (at least the tone is consistent). I also felt like it was too short---it is barely over an hour just like Upstate, but this time it seemed like it was cut off too soon---ultimately feeling like it was just part of another subsequent film to be. If that is the case, I will definitely keep watching what you put out Shaun. 1/13/2023

***You can get the links to view Upstate Story and Making and Unmaking in the link above for the latter’s review, and you can view Toga here---https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h64_fy-bB-M.***

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Chilling Visions: 5 Senses of Fear >>>EH/OK

The House (2022) >>>G

(Netflix)

Hypochondriac >>>EH

The Lair >>>EH/OK

The Murder Podcast >>>OK

The Pale Blue Eye >>>EH/OK

(Netflix)

Sick (2023) >>>OK

(Peacock)

Werewolf by Night >>>OK

(Disney+)

---Sean O.

1/14/2023

Monday, January 2, 2023

The Harbinger

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The Harbinger G

I am a fan of director Andy Mitton’s The Witch in the Window (you can read my review for it here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-witch-in-window.html). I gave his other film, We Go On, an OK/G rating, and YellowBrickRoad (which he co-directed) 2 ½ stars out of 4 when I used to give star ratings (Looks like I gave them decent ratings, but I think I might need to revisit those films). Therefore, I was looking forward to this new movie directed by him, especially after seeing it featured in the last issue of Rue Morgue. It involves a woman reluctantly going to visit an old college roommate during the pandemic due to distressing nightmares she’s been having. Eventually she begins to have nightmares too, ones containing the titular demon resembling a Plague Doctor, whom has a rather eerie agenda. I think the paranoia and precaution dealt with during the beginnings of the pandemic were depicted really well, likely rivaling many of our own experiences. Imagine enduring unsettling nightmares on top of that. The themes may feel familiar, but there’s a generally disquieting air to the majority of screen-time. I do get annoyed when you can’t tell if what you’re watching is real or imagined, and sometimes it did vex me here, but never in any major way (I think Andy made it work). I also thought it was too short; some films overstay their welcome, while this one’s welcome didn’t stay enough. The pros definitely outweigh the cons though, and Mr. Mitton is clearly a filmmaker I’ll keep an eye on. 1/1/2023

Bonus review:

Terror Train 2 EH

The Terror Train remake was just released two months ago (you can read my review for it in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/10/spirit-halloween-movie.html)! This sequel, also released on Tubi (meaning free), picks up a year later wherein survivors of the first film aboard the same train in order to move on from the past. That’s usually not the best idea in movies, but then, of course, we wouldn’t have this unnecessary sequel to an unnecessary remake to a film that wasn’t great to begin with. Did this film suck? What do you think? More importantly, what did you expect? The kills were mostly lame and the script was poorly written. Again, what did I expect? I only watched it to be festive since it takes place on New Year’s and I watched it on New Year’s Eve. Yeah, that’s probably what I tell myself, but my OCD would say different. I really hope they don’t make a Terror Train 3, because that damn OCD will force me to watch it. Happy New Year! 12/31/2022

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Christmas Freak >>>EH

The Day After Halloween >>>EH/OK

Do Revenge >>>OK

(Netflix)

Incantation (2022) >>>B

(In Mandarin with subtitles)

Peppermint Soda >>>B

(In French with subtitles)

Strange World >>>OK

White Noise (2022) >>>OK

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

1/2/2023