K.I.S.S. REVIEWS
-Reviews can’t be more than two paragraphs and no less than
one sentence.
Ratings: E-excellent VG-very good G-good OK-ok EH-less
than ok B-bad VB-very bad
Here's some more reviews:
Avalanche Sharks OK
More ways sharks can attack us? Keep on bringing the ludicrous set-ups and
people like me will surely keep watching!
In this film universe, the logic behind the sharks---called Skookum
according to an American Indian legend AND interplanetary explanation
simultaneously, you have to watch it to understand---actually works. The not-so-great design can sorta be
forgiven, again, due to the “plausible” storyline. Watching a movie called Avalanche Sharks, one’s not looking for intelligence or even a
plot, they just want to see shark mayhem!
There’s gore for sure, I just wish there was carnage more often instead
of spread out like so many of these sci-fi “hybrid” movies; culminating in
multiple deaths once the movie characters figure out what’s going on. Even though the sharks aren’t “real” sharks,
I would’ve liked to have seen slightly better designed ones up close instead of
quickly, or from afar. 4/10/2016
Ava’s Possessions G
Not your typical “possession” movie. At least not in the current trend of movies
usually beginning with The Possession of
Character’s Name. The demon(s) were cool
and will undoubtedly frighten some viewers.
I enjoyed this film for the most part yet I still felt something was
missing; I don’t know, maybe I wanted to see more demon action? Still, it’s far more enjoyable than
aforementioned “possession” films, is really well-shot, and there’s a sorta
“twist” that I actually shame myself for not foreseeing---perhaps a testament
to how engrossed I was beforehand? 4/13/2016
Creep G
Sure, found footage and Blair
Witch/Cloverfield see-it-as-it-happens-type films are overdone but still
effective if done properly. The whole
time watching this I knew something was eventually going to happen. Something does all right. Good build-up from beginning to end. The eponymous creep sure is one too. 4/10/2016
The Diary of a Teenage
Girl OK
Typical coming-of-age tale about a blossoming/sexually curious
(you guessed it) teenage girl set in the flower-power, feminist 1970s San
Francisco. Nothing new, kinda lame. I personally can’t stand when “straight”
women experiment with other women, not labeling themselves Lesbian or Bisexual. Then again, that’s just me. 4/10/2016
Flight 7500 G
Another movie to recall while on a plane? Coming from the director of Ju-On and its Hollywood remake The Grudge, Takashi Shimizu makes
effective use of its aerial setting.
Sure, horror/thriller fans will probably see the outcome (flyers) miles
away, but I enjoyed taking the journey.
It’s hard to be original nowadays and everything’s inevitably compared
to something that came before. It’s how
each film is shot, executed and well-acted that differentiates. This flight contained all of the above; at
least for this passenger. 4/14/2016
The Lady in the Car
with Glasses and a Gun G
I had no knowledge of this being a remake until searching on
AllMovie. Had I seen the original,
there’s a high possibility I wouldn’t have liked it as much. Therefore, I was able to view this as a
standalone piece. Decent French indie
mystery/thriller taking place in 1972 (certainly looks like it). I do enjoy watching movies that don’t adhere
to Hollywood’s tried-and-true predictability.
4/12/2016
Lake Fear EH
Where’s the lake of the title? The four female protagonists waddle through a
small lake before arriving to the cabin in
a field. The lake isn’t seen
again. This started off promising but
eventually goes down an incoherent rabbit hole.
Is this supposed to be a surreal film?
It’s not surreal in the Lynchian
sense, more like an 82-minute Un Chien
Andalou---and that film was barely 20 minutes! There’s a cool-looking doll and a
cool-looking creature (entering and exiting briefly at one part) but there’s
too many “non-sequiturs.” The film is
very ambitious with good special effects proving this wasn’t cheaply made, but
there’s no structure. I’ll keep an eye
out for this filmmaker’s future endeavors hoping they’re more organized; he
certainly knows how to make movies. Why
can’t anyone make a decent horror movie set at a cabin anymore? I guess I’m gonna have to keep watching The Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
until that happens. 4/10/2016
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! OK/G
Oh Hell Yes! One of
the most asinine concepts has managed to become a trilogy! The fact you would take the time to watch
part three of this franchise means you somewhat enjoyed the previous
installments. That, or you just want to
say you watched it; or you didn’t enjoy the first two and curiosity took the
better. If you enjoyed Sharknado and Sharknado 2: The Second One, and I slightly did, you should find
enough to enjoy here. It delivers
exactly what you would expect (for the third time) but the series should end
here, lest the “guilty pleasure” will no longer be a pleasure. 4/12/2016
---Sean O
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