The Canal OK
This film looks great but feels underdeveloped and topped
off with a predictable outcome. The very
end somewhat shocked me though and could be interpreted as either creepy or
bittersweet. 6/25/2016
Darling OK
Another horror movie demanding patience. I appreciated the barely 75-minute runtime
for this slow black-and-white film, but that doesn’t mean it withheld my
interest. A bloody part should please
horror fans. Overall, there really is no
point to this movie. I admire simplicity
but allow me to take something away. I
was reminded of the story “The Lady, or the Tiger?” As we anticipate the outcome only to be left
hanging in that story, this film teases with the locked door. All this buildup to know what’s behind that
door only to allow the character to see and
not the viewer. There might not even
have been a door at all. Don’t tease me
with an atmospheric mostly uneventful setup and leave me hanging! 6/30/2016
Decay EH/OK
Ah, necrophilia!
There doesn’t appear to be any laws against it. Gay necrophilia? Maybe.
As long as the living and the dead are opposite genders I guess society
wouldn’t have a problem with it. Anyway,
the title has multiple meanings. One,
being the mind of the socially awkward protagonist probably resulting from an
abusive mother seen in flashbacks. Two,
being the off-season amusement park said protagonist works at with one other
person, only conversing at lunch time.
Ultimately, it refers to the girl who died accidentally in said
protagonists house after breaking-in and now referred to as his girlfriend
“that likes to stay in.” While this
movie certainly proves you don’t need a big budget to be effective as long as
there’s good use of location, good characters and enough action to keep the
audience interested, it certainly didn’t need to be feature-length. A half-hour to 45-minute episode would
suffice. Most moviegoers don’t have the
attention span to remain engaged in slow-moving artsy cinema, whether or not
that tactic’s necessary to portray the characters “decomposition.” 6/21/2016
The Funhouse Massacre EH
Amusement parks are the perfect setting for horror. Massacre
in the title usually suggests bloody good fun or, at least, campy. Why wasn’t this movie that good? Psychos are “broken out” of an asylum and
take over a local haunted attraction on Halloween. The guests initially think everything is part
of the act. The police think the
distressed calls are pranks. I know it’s
hard to be original nowadays but this movie was too tongue-in-cheek for
me. I couldn’t wait for it to be
over…when it wasn’t even halfway
over! It just wasn’t as fun as yesteryear’s
similar films. 6/25/2016
The Girl in the
Photographs B
Why did this have to be the last movie Wes Craven (executive
producer) was attached to? This movie
was lame. There’s some bloody parts but
they don’t nearly make up for how pointless and boring the rest of the movie
is. At least other “pointless” slasher
films are fun or creative with the kills.
I hated Kal Penn (Kumar) and
everything else about this movie.
Luckily I used a free Redbox code but the 90-plus minutes I wasted will
never be returned. I’ll just pretend
this wasn’t the last thing Mr. Craven left this mortal coil with. R.I.P. Wes.
7/1/2016
Helicopter Mom G
Nia Vardalos plays the titular mom that would drive just
about any child of hers nuts. She
metaphorically hovers over her teenage son to the point of being overbearing. Instead of coming out to her, she actually
wants him to come out (“outing” him to his school in the process) so she never
has to worry about him “leaving her for another woman” and to get a college
scholarship. In this movie, sexuality
actually does qualify (where was this when I was in school?). The son has a realistic conversation with his
Dad in a bar about accepting who he is which I thought was really well
done. This film handles most situations
in a realistic manner. I like how the
son admits he doesn’t like labels as he’s unsure about his sexuality since high
school is a confusing period (he himself never officially came out but he didn’t
deny it either, plus he asks a girl to prom).
One of the better teen films I’ve seen recently. 6/25/2016
The Neon Demon G
What some people would do to make it in this world! I like movies that are different. Not different where style predominantly
trumps substance or different for the sake of being different ending up
pointless, but different by subverting traditional storylines and the uncertainty. I have to enjoy it or take something from
it. Some parts of this film made me appreciate
not being colorblind. Style (especially
here) certainly can be appealing.
There’s a mesmerizing ethereal aesthetic fitting the director’s (Fear X, Drive) style and you sense something ominous is lurking around the
corner. I totally didn’t see the finale
coming. It may disturb some. It may delight some. You must have patience to watch this
beautifully brutal picture. Not for all
tastes. 6/28/2016
The Shallows VG
A theatrical shark
film? It has to be better than all the
SyFy channel movies and direct-to-video cheese, right? The answer is an emphatic yes! This is the best natural horror shark movie
I’ve seen in a very long time. It might
even be one of the best movies of the year thus far. It is frightening, suspenseful and realistic
above all. This could happen. In addition to contending with a shark, Blake
Lively encounters coral reef, crabs and jellyfish. At one point, she has to choose between
swimming through a school of jellyfish over eventually becoming shark
bait. Desperate times they say (a dead
whale is used for safety at first).
Beautiful scenery (set in Mexico but shot in Australia!) juxtaposed with
the most realistic shark in recent memory.
Dive in! 6/25/2016
Steel EH
I can appreciate eye candy as much as the next functioning
homo(sexual)sapien. The main character
(who has an unexplained fear explained eventually) is very attractive but, as I
may have said before, eye candy does not a good movie make. I automatically predicted the ending due to
years of watching movies. Substitute the
gay characters with heterosexuals and this would be a typically straight(pun
intended)forward romantic drama…with a twist.
6/30/2016
The Wave OK/G
Not bad natural disaster flick from Norway. Rockslides apparently are a very real threat
to parts of Norway and here one causes a massive tidal wave after crumbling
into a fjord. There’s a considerable
sense of dread before the serene Nordic village is pummeled by the titular
wave. The wave effects are spectacular
and last for maybe five minutes of screen time; this is essentially a
before-and-after disaster movie.
Following the devastation, one family searches for one another amongst
the destructed seaside town. Far from
great but boatloads better than any SyFy “disaster movie of the week.” 6/22/2016
---Sean O.
No comments:
Post a Comment