Addicted to Fresno EH
Lesbian filmmaker Jamie Babbit has made a dud here. I was a fan of But I’m a Cheerleader, thought Itty
Bitty Titty Committee was decent and The
Quiet was somewhat disturbing (even for my tastes). This film shows sibling rivalry at its
harshest. The black comedy scenario
starts off well but quickly dissolves into unfunny (but I doubt unintentional)
comedy, sappy epiphanies and everything being resolved and tied up with a fancy
red bow. I’m still going to watch
Jamie’s movies though. She has an eclectic
style and queer filmmakers need to be supported! 8/13/2016
The Angry Birds Movie OK
I never played the app game.
I essentially knew nothing beforehand other than the way some of the
birds looked. Basically it’s about birds
and green pigs living in the same world inharmoniously. I’m sure the intended target audience will get
a kick out of it. For everyone else, it’s
basically harmless albeit forgettable. 8/17/2016
Apparition B
Yawn. Guy kills fiancé
in a car accident. Guy is haunted by
said fiancé. Hence the title. If you happen to be paying attention and not
yawning, a minor character practically gives away the ending early on. If you happen to still be caring and haven’t
fallen asleep, the ending shouldn’t surprise anyone that’s seen ghost or
haunted house movies for the last couple decades. Unless you were paying attention to the
aforementioned minor character and you figured it out already but kept watching
anyway like me. Maybe one day I’ll get
rid of my OCD and turn off movies I don’t want to waste time on. 8/27/2016
Don’t Breathe OK
This new thriller is decent enough to watch during bargain
times or when available on Redbox or Netflix.
Just don’t expect a masterpiece.
Somehow I was reminded of the recent yet dissimilar Lights Out, possibly due to dark hallways in a dark house. I thought this was better than that movie. 8/27/2016
End of the Line G
I saw this movie years ago but wanted to revisit after
reading a thorough review in a Rue Morgue writer’s book. I remember liking it but forgetting what
happened. I did enjoy this thriller
depicting how dangerous religion can be.
While I’m not religious, I’ll never forget a saying Marilyn Manson once
said about religion. I’m paraphrasing but
he said that whether he hates religion or not, it will always be a part of his
life. I feel the same way being raised
in a Catholic household. I like the
notion of Hell, Satan and demons even though I don’t believe in them. An eerie subway station is an ideal setting
for innocent passengers being targeted by religious zealots that believe
they’re “saving” the people they kill with sharp daggers. The French-Canadian director stated in the
above book how his father passed during the making of this film and he couldn’t
plan his funeral nor mourn due to the fixed time and budget he had. Poor guy!
Luckily the film he made during that dark time was worthy and I’m not liking
it solely out of pity. 8/27/2016
Hardcore Henry G/VG
This bloody first-person Russian film is like watching
someone else play a feature-length video game.
It’s a lot of fun too. I was only
bored once, briefly. I was tired when I
watched this yet I stayed awake and was hooked from beginning to end! 8/27/2016
Kwaidan EH
Outdated Japanese anthology film from 1964. It’s a little over three hours with four
stories so that means lengthy vignettes, especially the third one. None of them are scary even for the
time. Good movies are good movies no
matter when they came out or what country they come from. Black
Sabbath came out around the same time and is still effective today---it
only inspired the name of one of the pioneering metal bands. The first tale, “The Black Hair,” drags and the
climax is elusive. “The Woman of the
Snow” is certainly outdated and possibly inspired a segment of the Tales from the Darkside movie. “Hoichi the Earless” might be long enough to
be its own movie and is more dramatic than frightening, but does have the
bloodiest scene of all (for its time) and the most atmospheric shots. The final segment, “In a Cup of Tea,” is the
shortest but silliest. I think I might have
enjoyed these more if read as short stories.
They’re all ghost stories but one must have lots of patience to sit
through this collection. Sorry, patience
isn’t something I had with this anthology.
8/16/2016
The Orphanage EH
Not to be confused with the much-better Spanish thriller of
the same name. This movie starts off as
a pretty good drama with good characterization, but enters lame city once the
mystery is revealed. Adopt the
aforementioned movie instead of investing any consideration at this
institution! 8/21/2016
Pontypool OK/G
This has long been on my Netflix queue but just kept getting
pushed back to make room for new movies.
Was it worth the wait? Yes and
no. Takes place 99% of the time in a
radio station with about 95% of the action happening off-screen via on-air
radio. Set up as a zombie movie but not
necessarily so since the people don’t rise from the dead. Apparently speech is the theorized reason for
the affected humans erratic behavior which includes slurred speech and
attacking un-infected people. If it’s
intended to be a zombie movie, the approach is somewhat effective but if it’s
played over the air why not just listen to the radio ourselves instead? It starts off slow but gets intriguing and
perplexing simultaneously. Much like the
incoherent “zombies,” the ending is loopy.
It kept my interest though. 8/27/2016
Sausage Party G
I’m not the biggest Seth Rogen fan. I don’t hate him and I don’t particularly
care for him. Luckily only his voice is
present here. This adult animation about
talking foods in a supermarket is pretty stupid overall. It’s fun though and I can’t resist edibles cursing
like hell. This is absolutely,
positively, without a doubt, definitely inappropriate for children despite
being presented as a kiddy ‘toon. Race
relations and religion are creatively used metaphorically. I personally dug how it was subliminally
anti-religion. I’ll probably watch this
again when it comes out on DVD, but as far as foul-mouthed cartoon characters
go, I still prefer those 4th graders from Colorado. 8/13/2016
Submerged EH
You can probably guess this doesn’t take place entirely in
the submerged limo. That would be too
tedious (it’s 99 minutes according to the Netflix envelope), more than the
movie itself already is. Therefore we’re
treated to flashbacks leading up to the submersion and what follows when some
escape. I didn’t enjoy the before,
during and after underwater predicament timelines. I actually couldn’t wait for it to be
over. Claustrophobic thrillers are
D.O.A. and were always hard to be thoroughly engaging. During the time the people are trapped in the
limo, we’re presented with the typical accusations and paranoia associated with
the people-in-a-closed-space subgenre.
Yawn, yawn, yawn. 8/27/2016
Sun Kissed G
This movie somewhat reminded me of the French thriller Swimming Pool. Only it takes place in America and involves
men instead of women. It was easy to
figure out after years of filmgoing, but I personally dug it because of the eye
candy. Generally mysterious and
frustrating but might beg another viewing.
For me at least. 8/21/2016
---Sean O.
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