Cell OK
Another Stephen King adaptation. Therefore, I had to see it no matter
what. I read the book when it first came
out ten years ago. I remember thinking
it had good characterization (which Mr. King is known and revered for) and a
simultaneously disturbing/depressing ending.
That’s all I remembered before watching.
There’s really nothing to differentiate this from countless other
apocalyptic tales. It’s not the worst
but far from the best. Sometimes it
works. My biggest beef is with the
ending. It tries to be open-ended but is
ultimately confusing and frustrating. I
suggest just reading the book, which also wasn’t one of the writer’s best. My rating is marginally OK only because if
you’re a Stephen King fan, you’re going to watch it anyway. 9/30/2016
Edge of Winter EH
The set-up seemed promising but lethargically leads to an
unsatisfying conclusion. 9/30/2016
High-Rise VB
Metaphorically incorporating social class amongst tenants in
different levels of a (you guessed it) high-rise apartment building. Eventually the building becomes apocalyptic
with tenants destroying each other.
Apparently the end-of-the-world is only happening in this high-rise and
not the outside world. If it did happen
globally I missed it due to not caring.
I hated this movie. Hated every
minute of it. It is boring, messy and
pointless. Thanks for taking away 2
hours of my life I’ll never get back.
Thank you, as well, for being another contender for worst picture of
2016! 9/30/2016
Into the Forest OK
Oh, the many things we take for granted in modern
society. Electricity being the ultimate
source. The majority of people living
now most likely wouldn’t be able to function without daily resources we rely
on: computers, cell phones, electricity
of any kind, gas, etc. It’s mentioned
amongst the two protagonists (played by Evan Rachel Wood and Ellen Page) that
humans have been around for roughly 100,000 years and electricity hasn’t even
been around for 200. That short period
of time in humanity has spoiled modern civilization especially now and it makes
me wonder what resources we’re going to have in 20-30 years. If humans survived all those years without
power, how come a power outage along the West Coast causes an apocalyptic
scenario for the people in this movie?
The film answers that pretty well and it’s almost frightening how so
much can change without electricity. The
film overstays its welcome for sure but it’s one of the many forewarnings of
what we should be grateful for lest we lose it all one day. 10/8/2016
Miss Peregrine’s Home
for Peculiar Children G
I read the book not that long ago. Only because I saw the movie was directed by
Tim Burton and I wanted to get an idea of what to expect. Tim Burton is one of my favorite
directors. There’s many but he’s
definitely at the top. I did like the
book and envisioned many of it being directed by Tim Burton. I tried hard not to expect the film to be
100% faithful which is hard after
reading the book. It’s probably just as
hard vice versa considering you have visuals in mind. The movie is thoroughly faithful with minute
alterations. Alterations I didn’t mind
at all. I did enjoy this film for the
most part. Some movies need to be seen
more than once before being reviewed. I
will definitely watch this again in the future.
There was a lot to take in at first due to instinctive book-to-film
comparisons. Ultimately it was
inventive, fun and contains several scenes with the apparent Tim Burton
touch. Even at 2 hours I still felt
something may have been missing. I read
the book too! If this wasn’t directed by
Tim Burton I probably wouldn’t have felt the need to see it right away, or read
the book for that matter. Don’t be
surprised if I revise this review after a second viewing in the future. 10/7/2016
Mother, May I Sleep
with Danger? G
Tori Spelling? James
Franco? Lifetime movie? Also produced by
both of them? I had to! I probably saw the original TV movie of the
same name (also starring that ugly bitch Tori Spelling---how dare she sue
Benihana for getting burned, most likely her own damn fault) 20 years ago but
can’t recall due to the countless other TV movies I watched during those years. This movie was awesome! (laugh-out-loud) Awesome in the sense I had no idea it
involved vampires. Awesome in the sense
it had all the makings of a ‘90s TV movie usually aired on basic cable on
weeknights, only several sanguineous shades better. I can’t believe how bloody this movie
was. Twilight
is mentioned in the beginning but Twilight
this ain’t. Twihard pussies would probably
be repulsed. However, this is still
campy as hell. It is not awesome in the
sense it will become a cult classic. It
is not awesome in the sense it will make my Top Ten Best of 2016 list. I probably won’t ever watch it again. This is no masterpiece but I liked it because
it defied my expectations immensely and was well worth the 25 cent Redbox
rental. 10/1/2016
Swiss Army Man OK/G
Upon first hearing of this movie where “Harry Potter” farts
continuously in the beginning, I had absolutely no desire to see this. Curiosity got the better of me after reading
reviews. It’s strangely bizarre to have
a corpse fly in the air and swim afloat propelled by flatulence. Apparently no one thought of it before this
though. Other than the gassy bits and
the more disturbing (in my opinion) parts where the protagonist drinks water
spewing from the living corpse’s mouth (ick), there was quite a bit of
inventiveness and I was never bored.
There’s sure to be differing interpretations about the ending. I can probably say my rating is closer to G
than OK for not being nearly as bad as I imagined, but it’s still too bizarre
(flatulence typically never worked for me) to fully praise. I’m not saying not to watch it though. You’re apt not to forget it. 10/7/2016
They’re Watching OK/G
Americans visiting a foreign country that isn’t too
welcoming. Sound familiar? That’s exactly how this thriller pans out
during the first three-quarters. Seen
from the POV of a documentary crew’s footage for a TV show, my review began as
EH. That’s because more than half the
movie involves the crew receiving threats and typical “get out” warnings from
the East European locals. I thought it
would eventually lead to the tourists being slaughtered. Things turn ominous in the beginning of the
last quarter so my review inched up to OK.
The last quarter actually reveals a different outcome than expected and
boy is blood shed! That’s why my final
review ended up being between OK and G.
25% of the running time isn’t quite enough to recommend a film but it’s
somewhat worth the wait if you make it that far. There’s also a weird shot at the end
involving frogs that’s quite bizarre yet interesting to witness. 10/8/2016
13 Cameras EH/OK
I feel like a broken record writing the same old reviews for
the same old movies. This is yet another
modern thriller about a psycho (here a) landlord that installs hidden cameras
(I didn’t count to see if it was actually 13) in a home about to be inhabited
by a married couple. He spies on them, enters
the home when they’re not, feeds the dog table food, swims in the pool and keeps
a woman locked up in the basement. I
don’t understand how people can be unaware of someone locked in a part of their
house (muffled sound or not) especially if the person in question is
missing. Also, it takes the couple
several days to realize one of their doors leads to a basement?! I don’t know about any of you but if I just
got a house, condo, whatever, I’d want to know where each door leads to and
check every inch of the dwelling. That’s
just me. I do get to know the main
characters pretty well and there is a modicum (barely) of suspense. That’s why my rating rests between EH and
OK. Like modern thrillers of this sort, the
ending suggests a possible sequel that most likely won’t happen or go unnoticed
if it does. I certainly won’t care and
I’ll probably forget about this movie before I watch the next similar
thriller. 10/1/2016
---Sean O.
No comments:
Post a Comment