The Bye Bye Man OK/G
This was actually much better than I thought it would
be. There’s an interesting mythology
surrounding the eponymous demon. He
technically doesn’t have to kill anyone.
Anyone that knows his name will go crazy and kill those around
them. I guess that would make him an
infernal Charles Manson in a way, or a cousin of Bughuul (Sinister). The Bye Bye Man
himself is actually pretty gnarly.
Rather sinister (!) While decent,
it still reeks of formulaic supernatural thriller at times. I would like to know how the Bye Bye Man
originated or perhaps see where he comes from.
Plus, in 2017, don’t characters in horror movies know not to say “who’s
there?” while alone? Don’t they watch
movies in the movie world? Also, if you
want to eradicate something, you don’t just throw it into the woods for someone
to find. You friggin’ burn the damn thing! 1/19/2017
4th Man Out G
Coming out. Something
only non-hetero’s ever have to worry about.
Unless you’re a celebrity and announce it to the world, it’s something
non-hetero’s basically have to do their entire life. Every time you meet new people, you have to
ask yourself if you’re comfortable telling them. I know we live in moderately more accepting
times but it’s still a self-conscious attribute non-hetero’s contend with. I’m only speaking from experience. Everyone has their own way of doing it. I started off small by telling my parents
first and repressed it for years in hopes of maybe being “cured” of it. Of course that was the societal and religious
mentality making me hate myself and become outwardly homophobic in the
process. I didn’t grow up in a very
welcoming environment. The towns I grew
up in were predominantly Catholic and if they weren’t Catholic they were conservative. I had no one to look up to. The only gay people I knew of were
stereotypical ones like Elton John and Boy George, people you didn’t want to be associated with. This was in the ‘90’s when such things were
still swept under the rug. Eventually,
not long ago, I started to come out to the rest of my immediate family and the
few friends I had. Lastly, I posted a
very angry note on social media so everyone knew. Even if they didn’t have facebook, the
message was passed on of course. I still
don’t feel bad about it even though some may argue it wasn’t the best way to go
about it, and I was lambasted by some
for it. Oh well, I felt it was the
easiest way to deliver the message and yes there was lots of profanity, but
that’s how I talk. Anyway, I think this
movie handled it in a fairly realistic way.
Most people today are fine with it, so I think it would’ve been a
different story if this were made 20-30 years ago. The three straight friends-since-childhood
are initially weirded out in typical straight male fashion but simultaneously
accepting. I guess we still have a ways
to go until people totally feel comfortable about being open right away. We also still have a ways to go before gay
stereotypes are debunked. The three
straight guys at one point accuse each other of doing “gay things” such as
using women’s deodorant, going to see Les Miserables and knowing what Grindr
is. The guy in question works at an auto
shop, doesn’t exhibit any stereotypes, and one of his friends claims that he
eats steak a lot. (LOL) I eat steak too! Of course he faces some initial opposition
being from a small-town that appears to be religious. In the end, he doesn’t seem to have any
problems with anyone as they all celebrate their “independence” at a 4th
of July BBQ. Different times. Coming out is still something one has to do
more than once in life. Essentially. 1/13/2017
The Handmaiden OK/G
Here’s a movie from the same guy that gave us the Vengeance
Trilogy (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance,
Oldboy, Lady Vengeance) in which nothing is as initially seemed. Running 2½ hours, parts inevitably drag but
interest is rarely ever waned. Taking
place in what appears to be Victorian times, this is basically a sophisticated
Korean Wild Things. There’re innumerous twists and some Sapphic
action that gives the fantasy scene from Black
Swan a huge run for its money. I
like the East Asian Victorian touch but I felt there was an unsatisfying
conclusion to an intriguing build-up, like a joke with a stale punch line. 1/19/2017
Long Way North G
Presentation certainly makes a difference. If this was the same exact movie (scene-for-scene)
in live-action, I most likely wouldn’t care too much for it. I’m always amazed at what animation can
accomplish considering the arduous process.
I “felt” the cold of the upper Northern Hemisphere and “savored” the
food prepared in the restaurant inn. The
animation almost resembles a cross between Anime and a typical Cartoon Network
program. It is adventurous at times and
easy to follow, but gets a marginal recommendation based on my visual
comparison above. 1/22/2017
Lost & Found EH
Here’s a movie purported to be adventurous involving
treasure maps but has no adventure whatsoever.
There’s one suspenseful part
in the whole movie but it’s quickly over and done, so it’s not enough to
count. Jason Patric and Cary Elwes are
in it just to generate guaranteed viewings.
If no-name actors were in the same roles, this flat lame ass afterschool
special would’ve forever remained in the lost & found archives. It should be lost & never found! 1/13/2017
Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life G
I never read any of the books. This is a relatively fun movie involving
early teenage rebellion in a totalitarian school system. The animated bits were creative. I hated Rob Riggle but so did the main
characters. There’s a twist that
actually took me by surprise since I didn’t expect it for this kind of
movie. Points for that. I pretty much hated school my entire life but
almost agree with the title since middle school is up there for being my least
favorite years. 1/14/2017
Moonlight G
I like how this wasn’t presented as an LGBT movie. It just happens to involve a gay character
and that’s how it should be in this day and age. Moonlight
involves a gay black man in Miami during three times of his life (kid,
teen, young adult). This is the type of
gay coming-of-age story we don’t see too often.
It’s thoroughly involving but I felt the ultimate story was just
beginning when it ended. 1/19/2017
Natural Selection G
You’d be subliminally blind to not see where this is eventually
leading. Not only based on the title but
also the multiple shots of a certain item and the general misanthropy of one
character. The movie focuses entirely on
the people’s lives before the tragic event is about to occur and I think the
performances and direction were satisfactory.
Sure, we’ve seen this all before but the duplicitous “he said/she said”
bullshit prevalent in high school (and everyday life for that matter) rings
true. Perhaps if more people like the
protagonist noticed certain behaviors, tragedies copycatting Columbine could be
averted. 1/22/2017
Pet OK
Creepy guy stalks hot girl.
Hot girl doesn’t want creepy guy.
Creepy guy kidnaps hot girl and locks her in a cage below the kennel he
works at. Sound familiar? Things are slightly turned on their heads
halfway through. Luckily the twist comes
early unlike some movies thinking they’ll make it better regardless of how
lackluster it’s been until the end.
Since I had to trudge through the fairly standard first half, it only
gets half a good rating. There’s a
particularly bloody scene that would make the adult-writing Roald Dahl
proud. 1/14/2017
Sharkansas Women’s
Prison Massacre OK
Yes, with a title like that you know I couldn’t bypass
it. Helmed by Jim Wynorksi, the purveyor
of other stupid (yet awkwardly entertaining) shit (Curse of the Komodo, Camel
Spiders) plus cult classics like Chopping
Mall and Sorority House Massacre 2 (he
actually has a pretty lengthy filmography but not quite near Roger Corman yet),
this film featuring hot babes battling a below-average creature concoction is
actually not that bad. The sharkosaurus
(yes really, it has spikes on it and the ability to swim on land too) emerges
from underneath the ground following a fracking accident. We really don’t get to see any deaths since the
camera cuts away right before the shark attacks in a cloud of water, or dirt if
on land. That might’ve been a smart move
since the shark looked mediocre from the side.
The only glimpse we get, other than the fin, is the standard shark mouth
opened wide before attacking one victim. The female prisoners squabble as expected and
end up in the woods with an officer hostage plus two other men escaping the
sharks (there’s six according to one observation). Being hazardous on land surely makes it more
suspenseful but this is still a turn-your-brain-off-and-enjoy-the-idiocy film. If you don’t know that before watching a
movie with that title, you’ll probably be disappointed. My favorite line is when a guy mentions
vibrations in regards to the fracking and one of the women asks “Good
vibrations? Like the song?” How original!
Traci Lords doesn’t seem to age either; she looks no different than The Tommyknockers days. 1/23/2017
Space Clown OK
This is a decent evil clown flick barely over an hour. I usually can’t go wrong with an evil clown
movie as long as it’s not poorly made and the clown appears a decent amount of time. This was well-made but I felt a lot could’ve
been added to the short run time. Perhaps
in a follow-up? I wanted to see the
Clown World this Space Clown needed to return to after using human bodies to
fuel his spacecraft. I know clowns are
supposed to be funny but I could’ve done without the flatulence even though one
part was actually “necessary.” I
generally don’t find sounds emitting from rear ends too comical. You could do much worse without killing much
time but this clown doesn’t hold the brightest candle to those other klowns
from outer space. 1/22/2017
Split G
I am a fan of M. Night Shyamalan for the most part. He has a very simplistic Hitchcock-ian style
that works for me. I consider his career
beginning with The Sixth Sense even
though he directed two films before that.
Lady in the Water was his
first dud in my opinion. I did enjoy The Happening for its simplistic
morbidity. I hated The Last Airbender and wasn’t crazy about After Earth. The Visit was an improvement and gets
better each viewing. Split has an outstanding performance
from James McAvoy who’s surprisingly good-looking here too. Mr. Shyamalan is known as the “twist”
director and that’s what people expect when going to see his movies. I’m not going to reveal whether there’s a
twist or not, but I liked M. Night’s decision.
I only dislike 3 out of 10 films thus far, so M. Night passes and I anticipate
his rumored involvement in the Tales from
the Crypt reboot (only the best TV show ever!). Pay attention at the end for a certain cameo
mentioning a character from one of M. Night’s earlier films. 1/22/2017
---Sean O.
