Mooby Reviews 3/29/18

Here are my newest film (and 2 TV) criticisms...

The Boys in the Band                                                  OK/G

I admit to never knowing about this film before seeing it mentioned in a recent Entertainment Weekly article.  I’m surprised it’s not mentioned much considering how groundbreaking it must’ve been in 1970.  Interestingly, the same director (William Friedkin) helmed The Exorcist just three years later.  The movie involves a bunch of gay men in the city throwing a birthday party for one of their friends at one of their apartments.  The host has a college buddy arrive unexpectedly who happens to be straight and seemingly very uncomfortable with homosexuals (it was 1970 after all, although people still harbor a more reserved homophobia today).  Tensions arise as you can imagine, not just between the hetero and homos, but amongst the gay men themselves which is still a relevant issue pertaining to prejudice within the community.  This is a simplistic movie very much like 12 Angry Men in its use of  one primary location with a bunch of men going at it while learning more about each other and themselves in the process.  It’s a bit long but I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed most of their company until after it was over.  3/28/2018

The Executioners                                                         B

Four pretty white girls go to a house by a lake for some r&r.  Three dudes with different colored face paint invade the home and subject the girls to physical and emotional torment.  The girls eventually overpower them and dole out similar torture.  The tired scenario may sound effective theoretically, but the filmed result consists of atrocious acting and lackadaisical execution.  I hated it.  3/27/2018

Ferdinand                                                                   OK

The titular character, voiced by John Cena, is a bull from Spain without a desire to fight.  How many times have we seen a movie about being yourself and not what others expect?  Probably countless but you have to take into consideration that babies are born everyday and this may be the first “inspirational” film an impressionable youngster happens to see.  Studios should also consider the parents aware of these stories forced to tag-along with their impressionable youngsters.  They also have to consider those without spawn that watch lots of movies (like yours truly).  This animated movie is funny at times, especially the goat, but it’s nothing more than ordinary, making it forgettable for everyone but the impressionable youngsters seeing it before all the better entries of yesteryear.  3/29/2018

Happy Hunting                                                           OK/G

A man escapes drug dealers before ending up in an isolated desert town near the Mexican border during a time the townsfolk conduct a rather sinister annual tradition.  The premise does wear thin and is absolutely unoriginal, plus it’s predictable at times, but I liked it more than hated it.  I doubt I’ll ever watch it again though.  3/26/2018

I, Tonya                                                                       G

“Truth is bullshit and everyone has their own version of it.”  That’s the gist of what was uttered by Margot Robbie here portraying Tonya Harding, the notorious Olympic skater made infamous for the 1994 incident involving Nancy Kerrigan.  There’s always more than one side to every story and several sides are given here.  That being said, I’d be interested in seeing a companion piece entitled I, Nancy.  I remember hearing about what happened but I was turning 12 at the time and could’ve cared less about anything involving the Olympics.  I still don’t care 24 years later.  I can honestly say I never knew the specifics so I went in blind to this the same way as someone hearing about it for the first time.  Mentioning truth and its subjective nature above, this film was allegedly based on interviews with Tonya and her husband at the time, Jeff, so I just had to take their words for it.  It actually works as a biopic laced with instances of characters “future selves” breaking the fourth wall and debunking what the media said.  The scene involving the incident was presented in such a far-fetched manner, I was expecting someone to tell us that’s not what really happened before showing us what really did.  Like always, I only care if the movie I’m watching is good or not, fact or fiction be damned.  I knew basically nothing about Aileen Wuornos before watching Monster and it was very good in addition to being illuminating.  According to this film, Tonya didn’t exactly live the most glamorous life without the scandal, having a real “c-word” for a mother and she being a self-proclaimed redneck making a living as a waitress when not skating.  The film isn’t perfect by any stretch, but for not giving two shits about the material, it succeeds at being a compellingly depressing story about a girl beginning and ending with nothing despite making a name for herself in between.  3/24/2018

Jumanji:  Welcome to the Jungle                                OK/G

Like the newest Power Rangers movie, this sequel begins like a Breakfast Club teen movie with different cliques (a jock, a nerd, a princess, an insecure unpopular girl) serving detention together before the intended action.  Ironically, the original Power Rangers movie was released the same year as Jumanji.  I remember thinking Jumanji was fun but also thinking the special effects (even then) were rather goofy.  They haven’t improved much after 22 years but perhaps I shouldn’t completely fault them since they’re part of a game and game graphics aren’t exactly realistic (most of the time).  Instead of the game coming to the players, this time the players are transported into the game as avatars they picked.  Since they were actually in the jungle this time, I expected more wild animal encounters, but like I mentioned above about unconvincing graphics, more likely might’ve been too much.  I have my reservations but this sequel was actually fun, funny, and undeniably ingenious.  I’ll likely recommend this if asked, but I think Zathura is a better movie involving board games come to life, which is funny considering I’m not a fan of space movies but am of wild animals.  3/21/2018

Killing Ground                                                            OK

One thing many movies from Australia have taught me is that it’s a very beautiful continent but not a very safe place to be.  This film initially alternates between three interconnected storylines.  There aren’t too many original ways to tell these survival horror stories anymore, so altering techniques and overall presentation are the only ways to attempt differentiation.  It does work at first, instilling a palpable sense of unease before all hell inevitably breaks loose, and the film might be disturbing in hindsight, but Killing Ground is familiar ground treaded on many times before in not just Australia.  3/24/2018

On My Block:  Season One                                         OK

Lauren Iungerich, a lady white as can be, said she wanted to present a coming-of-age series where non-white characters were the “heroes.”  Or something like that.  It’s definitely apparent in this Netflix series centering on black and Latino teenagers in a town resembling South Central.  I’m always up for a good coming-of-age story regardless of demographics and location.  This is a diverse world, especially in America, and I believe all people should be represented.  Sometimes a different perspective can make an overdone storyline somewhat more appealing (Fresh off the Boat would likely be an ordinary sitcom if it didn’t involve an Asian-American family).  Speaking of diversity, homosexuals still seem to be a marginalized group in entertainment.  Not a single gay character was portrayed in this “inclusive” series despite being a universal trait, even in black and Latino communities.  I don’t expect gay characters to outnumber straight ones nor do I expect a gay character to be the main one, but if today’s world is to be reflected properly, all groups (race, gender, sexuality) should be included.  Anyway, the young teens beginning high school experience similar situations presented many times in “exclusive” entertainment, which I guess works to show kids deal with the same issues regardless of where they live.  Even in the ‘hood, people seem to eventually end up with their crushes.  They do live in a rough area, but the gang material generally takes a backseat to growing up.  At one point they even make light of guessing what type of gun they hear close-by.  Things get a bit interesting when a treasure hunt is involved, but it doesn’t start until episode 8 of 10.  There’s no happy ending to the season resulting from one character’s previous decision in which a fatal consequence should’ve been foreseen.  Unless season two is released within a month or two, I’m not sure if I’ll care to continue.  3/24/2018

The Sandman                                                              EH/OK

The eponymous creature actually isn’t too bad-looking, kinda phat, considering I expected worse.  He’s just in the wrong movie.  Beginning as a formulaic body count movie lacking any suspense, it also tries incorporating elements of The Mummy, Carrie, Firestarter, Species, and contains what I think might’ve been a nod to The Exorcist.  Unlucky for us, a post-credits sequence suggests a possible sequel.  I say the mythical creature should put any future ideas to sleep unless he’s placed in a better movie!  3/26/2018

A Series of Unfortunate Events:  Season One             G

I have read all 13 books by Lemony Snicket in which this Netflix series is based.  It’s been a little over a decade, but I remember them being diverting, easy-to-read, and slightly educational for younger or uneducated readers by introducing big words and defining them.  I didn’t like them as much as Goosebumps or any other R.L. Stine series, but they were fun and forced me to keep checking them out from my local library until completion.  I don’t remember being a huge fan of the movie starring Jim Carrey, but I also remember it only covered mostly the first two books in the series.  This show is the better idea by allowing more room for each story.  Each episode is roughly between 45 minutes to an hour and this first season contains 8 episodes (2 per book) for the first four entries (The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room, The Wide Window, The Miserable Mill).  Initially, I thought the appearance of Lemony Snicket (played by Patrick Warburton) narrating the series amongst the action would be a distraction, but he gradually just blends in with the narrative as the show goes on.  Plus, I recall him narrating the books so it doesn’t deviate from the source material.  I think I was more annoyed by Neil Patrick Harris’ character as Count Olaf more than anything which I believe was the intention to make him deplorable.  The series isn’t great (like the source material) but it’s momentarily entertaining (like the source material) and far from uplifting which is always refreshing to see in children’s entertainment.  It is called A Series of Unfortunate Events after all, and the narrator, here as well as in the books, continuously informs you to stop watching or reading if you like happy stories.  I wanted to keep watching at the end of the last episode so that’s always a good sign.  Incidentally, the second season is beginning shortly.  3/21/2018

Small Town Crime                                                      OK/G

An independent film with John Hawkes, an actor with a face more recognizable than name, that’s slightly Tarantino-esque while coming off as a forgotten Coen Brothers project (ironically two other brothers were at the helm).  I actually liked John Hawkes here (I don’t recall ever particularly caring before) and there’s a considerable body count, but I felt unsatisfied by films end like more was missing.  John Hawkes proved he can act though, thereby elevating him above no-name status.  3/24/2018

The Strange Ones                                                        G

Two brothers flee in a car after a house is shown burning.  Obviously they’re running from something or someone.  Things are kept interesting by continuously changing locations and some disturbing revelations are eventually revealed.  Far from great but doesn’t overstay its welcome.  3/28/2018

Unsane                                                                        OK/G

This film isn’t exactly groundbreaking and doesn’t amount to much, but like his other film Bubble, Steven Soderbergh managed to take simplistic material, here involving a mental institution and a stalker, and make it relatively involving (I liked Bubble better though).  I don’t think it’s worth seeing in the theater unless you have a gift card and there’s nothing else playing.  Do check out Bubble if you haven’t already though.  3/26/2018

Victor Crowley                                                            B/EH

Hatchet was a worthy throwback to gory, simplistic slasher films from the ‘80’s.  Hatchet II and III were unnecessary but watchable sequels.  Hatchet III was supposed to be the last one.  I know such things are never set in stone, especially with horror franchises, but it damn well should’ve been judging by this fourth entry!  I’m surprised the original creator, Adam Green, whom is actually a worthy post-millennial filmmaker, was behind this (part three was the only one he wasn’t).  This film felt like a parody of the franchise, not in the Scream sense but more in the Scary Movie vein (which itself was a parody of the former).  The series has always been sort of tongue-in-cheek to a point but never as unbearably apparent as here.  I hated every single character.  The only thing going for it is the expected gore and the scant barely 80-minute runtime (the former barely making it worthwhile and the latter not necessarily being a compliment).  One particular standout is a rather gruesome demise befalling a certain Sleepaway Camp alumni.  My suggestion for gorehounds would be to either fast-forward to each death or hope Adam Green will be nice enough to make a special feature showcasing only the death sequences (some body count DVD/Blu-Rays do have that feature).  I would say this sequel is for Hatchet fans only, but even they might deem it unnecessary like I surely did, therefore not befitting anyone.  Mr. Green, I think it’s time you bury this hatchet (!) for good.  3/24/2018

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 3/18/18

Here are my current film reviews...

Call Me by Your Name                                               OK/G

Northern Italy.  Summer of 1983.  A time when homosexuality was still largely kept secret not only in the Mediterranean, but the “land of the free” as well.  I’m surprised this wasn’t called American Peach based on a scene you’ll understand why if or when you see it (or saw it already).  This was essentially two different movies, the first half being rather uneventful where the characters hide their true selves (like usual).  The second half delves into what the film was meant to be, involving a relationship between the teenager and the older American staying in his house while working with his father for the summer.  Armie Hammer looks great but the teen, played by Timothy Something, looks rather young (despite being of age) so any intimate scenes failed to personally turn me on.  The speech Timothy’s father gives towards the end informing him he knew about their relationship may have been sweet, but it also reeked of a fairy tale Hollywood film since it didn’t feel authentic (especially taking place in 1983).  While it’s nice the Oscars recognized this film, considering many people tend to only mention gender and race in diversity discussions and gay white men are minorities on the inside only, I can’t deny this gay love story hasn’t been told quite often already.  For these films, it always appears two men are cosmically put together and both happen to be gay with mutual feelings.  And yes, it’s very heartbreaking to see true love like this never get to last because of societal standards (at least in 1983 and still in some parts of the world today), but like I said, it’s nothing new under the sun (in Italy or otherwise).  3/14/2018

Children of the Corn:  Runaway                                 OK/G

This is the tenth film in the franchise if you include the remake.  Yes, I’ve seen them all (are you really surprised?) and really only recall disliking the eighth one, Genesis, and thought that annoying redheaded actor was miscast in the fifth one, Fields of Terror.  None are masterpieces and some are better than others (naturally), but they’re all corny (!) fun and I’ve always been a fan of evil kid movies.  Plus, I’m a Stephen King nut and it’s amazing ten films (nine if you exclude the remake) spawned from his short story (in Night Shift) that’s 20 pages give or take.  The only connection this film has to the other entries is its mention of the diner massacre from the beginning of the first film (there’s even an homage to that scene).  The subtitle tells you it doesn’t take place in Gatlin (where the rest of the series took place in and around) or even Nebraska, but another rural small town in (I’m guessing) Oklahoma since that’s where it was filmed and Tulsa was mentioned.  The film is fairly bloody (I’m not surprised since John Gulager, the man behind all three Feast films and Piranha DD, was at the helm) and there’s a twist that’s not so fresh but actually works here.  Basically, you can take the person out of the cornfield but not the cornfield out of the person, and the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.  There’s not much you can expect from a Children of the Corn film (especially after nine times) and there’s not too much you can do with the concept more than a few times, but this entry wasn’t exactly unnecessary in my opinion.  3/14/2018

Hangman                                                                    OK

Surely everyone played hangman at some point in their lives by adulthood, or are at least aware of it?  If not, you think of a word, draw blank spaces next to a gallows symbol, and other players guess a letter.  If the letter is part of the word---it is placed on the space(s) where it fits in the mystery word.  If the letter isn’t part of the word---a body part is drawn on the gallows.  Basically you have to guess the word before a stickperson is drawn on the noose, hence hangman.  In this film, a killer hangs his victims, carves a letter on their bodies, and draws the gallows and filled-in letters at each crime scene.  The first half seemed like it was going to be somewhat engaging despite coming off as written by someone still in high school.  The second half becomes far too conventional.  We also never meet the killer before the reveal, so that eliminates any modicum of suspense if you like those guessing games in whodunits.  And I’m sorry, but Al Pacino is way past his acting prime.  You’ll likely have more fun playing the actual game with a bunch of people.  3/13/2018

Mexico Barbaro                                                          EH/OK

Horror anthology from Mexico containing eight short films where most are gory, some are sexual, and none are exactly spectacular.  Anthology films are usually hit and miss, but the few standouts here don’t make the film as a whole worth watching.  It begins with an ominous story involving human heads in an Aztec sacrifice, but the tale ends right when I thought it was going somewhere.  The second contains the bloodiest and most bizarre instance of cunnilingus I’ve ever witnessed on film, but the vampiric creature revealed at the end is the only worthwhile aspect of the segment.  The following story also involves blood and a vagina and is completely pointless with an outlandish ending.  I enjoyed “The Most Precious Thing” before being introduced to a rapist creature resembling a leprous cousin of those from The Descent; you get to see its deformed penis too!  The next one involves a child killer with sinister motives at a housing development.  The ending is gross in more ways than one.  Biology always disgusted the shit out of me, plus there’s an incident that’s disturbing without being compelling in the slightest.  Of course a little girl unable to communicate properly is the only one that knows how evil the guy truly is (no one ever believes kids in horror movies anyway).  There’s one called “Dolls” that’s a decent backwoods/Texas Chainsaw-like tale that might’ve benefited from being expanded upon.  There’s an unworthy supernatural revenge tale before finishing with a decent entry called “Day of the Dead” which reminded me of From Dusk Till Dawn without vampires.  Definitely not the best anthology film so, for now, I think I’ll stick with the better ones north of the border.  3/16/2018

Moka                                                                           OK/G

A woman’s son was killed in a car accident.  The driver and passenger fled.  A detective is able to obtain records of possible cars involved via witness accounts.  The woman tracks down the people fitting the described profiles.  She infiltrates both their lives separately.  Sounds like a typical revenge movie right?  This French film actually kept me fairly engaged, making me unsure of how and when she was going to get retribution.  I was afraid it would lead to an unsatisfying conclusion and, unfortunately, it did.  This is a character study above all else.  3/16/2018

Mom and Dad                                                             OK

This film straddles somewhere between black comedy and horror.  It involves “savaging” in which parents suddenly go crazy and want to kill their offspring.  People only go after their own kids and it appears to skip a generation as one person didn’t want to attack his grandson.  There’s no apparent origin for this frenzy although at least two instances occurred when a static TV screen was nearby.  The premise actually didn’t wear thin like I thought it would, but the film still felt incomplete and ended too abruptly.  Part of me wants to praise it for not overstaying its welcome, but the fact I have to contemplate my overall thoughts at all shows I can’t give it a higher rating.  3/8/2018

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)                         OK

Let it be known I’ve never seen a previous adaptation prior to this, nor read the novel by Agatha Christie.  A murder occurs on the train of the title and obviously the culprit is on board due to transpiring after the train’s derailment in the mountains.  The conclusion is actually rather clever but not enough to demand a re-watch due to being a fairly generic detective story beforehand.  I’m not going to tell you whether to watch this or not.  It won’t hurt if you do and you won’t be missing much if you don’t.  Put it this way, I would tell you to watch this over Crooked House (another recent Christie adaptation) if I absolutely had to make a decision for you.  3/6/2018

My Friend Dahmer                                                     OK/G

I read the graphic novel by Derf Backderf who actually knew Jeffrey Dahmer, hence My Friend, and thought it was quite interesting.  Entertainment involving real serial killers can be a very controversial thing.  On one hand, you’re promoting them and basically telling modern serial killers they’ll too be made famous one day.  On the other hand, you can’t deny they’re part of history and do make for morbidly compelling sociological studies.  I remember the graphic novel covering a bit more, but this film covered the gist of it during 1978 when Dahmer (played by Ross Lynch of Austin and Ally fame) was a senior in high school before picking up his first victim after graduation.  It does make for a different serial killer biopic by excluding any murders and instead being a character study of a stoic, insecure, closeted teenager, and Ross did a good job making me forget he was “Austin” (yes, I’m guilty of having watched that Disney channel show).  Without knowing this was based on a true story (it does post that in the beginning in case you somehow didn’t know), this is just an ordinary teen drama, but knowing who the focused subject turned out to be makes it situationally eerie.  3/14/2018

Tell Me How I Die                                                      EH

Imagine a lame Final Destination movie without any gruesome death sequences.  In a nutshell, a bunch of young people, mostly college students, participate in a paid study ($2,000 each time? Doesn’t sound bad at all) involving drugs intended to improve memory but, for some, show a glimpse of the near future, including deaths.  Naturally, an irritated test subject from the past wants revenge on the doctor(s) and vows to kill anyone in the building if the doctor on site doesn’t off himself.  I’m sure you can guess what the doctor chooses; otherwise we wouldn’t have this pseudo-slasher movie.  *Cue sarcasm* Good job screenwriters for setting it in an isolated building during a massive snowstorm.  Good job for having the test subjects hand in their car keys beforehand.  Don’t give anyone an easy way out or allow any help an easy way in!  Good job for having a skeleton crew on hand since it happens to be a holiday weekend, making less people for any psycho killer to deal with.   Obviously you’ve watched so many formulaic thrillers before!  *End sarcasm* And where’s the suspense if we see a “premonition” before it actually happens the exact same way?  I wish I had some of those drugs to warn me of how lame this movie was before I actually watched it!  3/10/2018

Thoroughbreds                                                            OK

A girl and her friend plan on offing her stepfather, but even as the friend says, he didn’t exactly make the girl feel unsafe and I don’t see why she hated him that much.  Sure, he may have had an attitude with the stepdaughter and her mother at times, but there was no evident physical or sexual violence, and that’s just how families function.  People fight and parents/stepparents make rules and forbid their kids/stepkids from doing things.  The girl was just crazy.  Initially, the girls reminded me of Daria and Jane (from Daria in case you didn’t know) with their deadpan, apathetic mannerisms.  All in all, it’s basically an arty film containing elements of Heavenly Creatures, The Quiet and many other thrillers involving two girls (or women) and murder.  I wish I could say I liked this more than I did, but like the one girl mentions how her life and life in general is meaningless (a sad but honest philosophy), I can’t help but think this film itself was pretty meaningless.  3/12/2018

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri                G

As one character puts it, “anger just begets more anger.”  In other words, one action leads to another and possibly another.  The three billboards in question are the starting point for the rippling effects in the titular town containing people the world at large pretty much expects of small southern towns in America.  Many of the people, including law enforcement, are still racist and/or homophobic, some even anti-midget.  I did like this film that contains a few surprises up its sleeve, and some of the performances were superb even if some characters weren’t particularly likeable.  3/7/2018

Veronica                                                                      G

Yet another movie “based on a true story” and yet another horror film involving a Ouija board.  While this Spanish film taking place in 1991 is far from great, it’s better than most films involving them.  I have a feeling the titular character’s late burgeoning puberty tied in with something, in addition to an eclipse occurring simultaneously when she and two other girls tampered with the spirit board.  I don’t think the ending made too much sense, but I thought this was generally an engaging thrill ride.  3/6/2018

We Don’t Belong Here                                                EH

This is mostly a boring drama involving a rich family in New England.  Even when containing hints of dark subject matter, as well as suggestions of interesting concepts like time travel and purgatory, it’s so wearisome thereby nullifying any chances of becoming better.  The time travel instances were inexplicable but I believe they were just part of at least one of the demented family’s psyche.  Allegedly this was Anton Yelchin’s final performance and it’s a shame this had to be his swam song, posthumous or not.  Green Room will always be his final performance to me!  3/12/2018

Wonder Wheel                                                             EH

If you’ve seen one Woody Allen movie, you’ve pretty much seen them all.  Of course there’s always going to be a standout or below average entry, and this ‘soap opera’ set in Coney Island during the 1950’s falls into the latter.  I kind of had low-hopes from the beginning when Justin Timberlake breaks the fourth wall.  His performance overall was almost as bad as his dreadful Super Bowl appearance.  A man’s (Jim Belushi) daughter (Juno Temple) arrives in Coney Island seeking shelter from her husband’s mob partners.  You think they’re not going to eventually show up?  The man’s wife (Kate Winslet) is obviously unhappy in her marriage and having an affair with the lifeguard (Justin Timberlake).  The daughter develops a crush on the lifeguard and vice versa, but obviously no one can know about the lifeguard and wife.  You think there’s not going to be any complications?  You think it’ll end badly for most?  Frankly, I didn’t give a damn and neither should any of you.  3/15/2018

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 3/8/18

Here be my latest film musings...

American Made                                                           G

I knew nothing about Barry Seal, a TWA pilot that eventually worked for the CIA, before this film that chronicles his life from the late ‘70’s until the mid-to-late ‘80’s.  At first, the CIA wanted him to transport guns to South America until someone down there wanted him to smuggle drugs into America.  Everything always comes down to money and some (like Barry) will risk it all if there’s a good buck involved.  His life was very good for a bit and he was able to provide a luxurious life for his wife and kids.  They were getting so much cash at one point that they had to keep finding hiding places for it.  Like most drug dealing and criminal situations, someone is eventually going to find out about all this ‘money under the table’ and ‘living large’ will come to an unhappy end for everyone.  If you already know the story, you know how Barry’s ends.  I, like I said, knew nothing and usually could care less about these types of stories, but I found a good amount of it interesting and give it a mild recommendation.  I was somewhat reminded of Blow but don’t remember being a fan, so I thought this was better in dealing with similar subject matter.  2/23/2018

Annihilation                                                                 VG

It’s hard to be original nowadays with any genre in any medium, so execution is key and this film is a perfect example of taking what’s been used and presenting it innovatively and interestingly.  Pertaining to another topic much spoken about lately, this is a great example of female empowerment without bringing attention to the fact other than having female-centric characters.  See, you don’t need an unnecessary remake like Ghostbusters when you have original empowering movies like this (based on a book by Jeff VanderMeer).  Anyway, an otherworldly element crashes into Earth creating an extraterrestrial force field dubbed ‘The Shimmer,’ causing anything within to mutate.  Anyone that’s entered hasn’t returned except for one and he has no answers, therefore five women (including biologists, physicists and whatnot) decide to enter and attempt to get answers.  Normally it would suggest it’s probably not the best idea to enter somewhere with no previous success stories, but that’s where people with “nothing to lose” (like these women) come in.  There’s a feeling of dread from the start and the film never once falters.  The creature effects weren’t bad at all and the set design alone kept me focused.  All the ‘abandoned porn’ reminded me of places like Chernobyl (top of my bucket list).  The end gets trippy as fuck and my conclusions might not be what was intended, but even when it goes farther down the rabbit hole, I was still enthralled.  I loved almost every inch of this movie.  3/5/2018

Batman:  Gotham by Gaslight                                    OK/G

I haven’t seen an animated Batman movie in I don’t know how long (I don’t count The LEGO Batman Movie).  I had a free Redbox code that was expiring and didn’t want to rent anything else I hadn’t already seen, so I took a chance with this.  It takes place in Victorian times involving Jack the Ripper.  The real Jack was never found but this film does reveal who he is, ergo it’s partially a whodunit.  The animation is crisp and there’s some bloody violence (it is R-rated after all), but even at roughly 75 minutes, some scenes go on longer than they should.  If you’re an indiscriminate fan of the caped crusader though, you shouldn’t be disappointed and I enjoyed this more than the last several live-action Batman flicks.  2/23/2018

Battlecreek                                                                  EH

Even though I’m not recommending it, proceed at your own will since I’m going to give spoilers.  Battlecreek is a small southern town no different than any other we’ve seen on screen.  Let’s see, there’s a diner in town, there’s a woman obviously abused by her husband, and there’re two redneck douchebags making people think all Southerners are like them.  There’s a smorgasbord of clichés altogether.  There’s a girl whose car happens to break down and has to stay in town; she’s obviously running from something.  The town “freak” who frequents the diner (played by the new Pennywise---IT) meets cute with the girl, making her decide to stay longer.  He’s only a “freak” because he has a visible scar on his neck and body resulting from a childhood incident and a condition prohibiting sunlight exposure; thus townsfolk call him ‘Dracula’ since he only comes out at night.  This drifter girl inspires him to do something more with his life (blah, blah, blah).  There’s also a ‘wise’ old black man doling out life advice as well (it always seems to be a black man).  Sooner or later, someone from the girl’s past comes looking in Battlecreek.  The freak’s mom happens to meet this ‘someone from the past’ at a bar (how ironic) and reveals where the girl works.  Secrets are revealed, hatchets are buried, and the two ‘scarred’ lovers leave their pasts behind as they ride out of town together.  Battlecreek is not worth visiting.  I’ve already ‘visited’ enough similar towns before.  3/2/2018

Darkest Hour                                                              B

That title bears the same name as a hardcore band most popular in the early aughts, but I doubt the band chose their name based on similar material.  This film involves the time when Winston Churchill was elected prime minister of the U.K. in 1940 during Hitler’s reign.  I remember hearing his name in high school history but don’t recall anything about the guy.  Honestly, this film didn’t educate me much either.  All I can tell you is he was prime minister during World War II and gave speeches about never giving up fighting.  This film was basically a 2-hour history lesson full of gibberish going right over my head, much like my sophomore history class in high school where my teacher drained the life out of anything she taught.  Gary Oldman does look completely unrecognizable as Winston, much like Charlize Theron in Monster and Nicole Kidman in The Hours, so I think he would rightfully deserve the best actor prize [He did win] even if I didn’t care for the film itself.  Apparently I have an unpopular opinion of the film since it’s nominated for best picture [It didn’t win for that].  2/27/2018

Echoes                                                                         EH/OK

Yet another movie involving sleep paralysis.  Here’s a good idea:  let’s go to a glass house in the middle of the desert and allow a woman taking medications and experiencing the sleep phenomenon to stay by herself for a bit.  Surely staying alone in the middle of nowhere won’t cause paranoia and hallucinations.  While this film doesn’t completely suck, there’re still echoes (!) of many other movies, good or not.  There’s also a twist I should’ve foreseen, but it actually makes the movie worse than it already was.  3/3/2018

Flint                                                                             OK/G

Water is one of the things many of us take for granted.  We need it for drinking, bathing, doing laundry, cooking, I certainly couldn’t live without it.  I don’t buy bottled water because I feel I save lots of money just by filling up and refrigerating water bottles and/or pitchers.  My tap water tastes just fine to me.  This Lifetime TV movie depicts the relatively recent (not even 4 years ago) situation in Flint, Michigan.  The residents began to develop rashes, have diarrhea, one woman had a stroke, and another woman had a miscarriage due to the city’s contaminated water.  When it comes to people’s health and residents show proof that their water is clearly contaminated, there’s surely something wrong with government officials if they refuse to act on it right away.  A group of people, particularly some “soccer moms,” refuse to give up fighting and their perseverance shows you never should even if change doesn’t initially occur.  Proof is given of ignored concerns, further confirming how corrupt the government can be, especially with matters not affecting themselves.  As shown on a protester’s sign, ‘water is a human right and not a privilege.’  Logically, some might suggest moving from the affected area, but why should someone have to due to an issue that should be handled by the city and/or state?  A voiceover in the beginning informs us that not all the details will be included since it gets more complex the further you go, so obviously there’s stuff missing from this movie.  I, for one, believe they included enough for those that may not have followed the case, didn’t know enough of the case, or were born yesterday (or yet to be) and might watch this in the future.  I think the basics were provided and too much more might’ve been too much altogether.  2/24/2018

The Florida Project                                                     VG

I very much liked this movie involving a hotel near Disney World containing low-income (or barely any income) families in addition to fleeting tourists.  This is realism at its realist while still managing to be entertaining.  I wasn’t bored once.  The characters were detestable, trashy even (although I hate to use that description), but everything (other than the fantastical ending and the appearance of Willem Dafoe) felt so authentic making me think the very good actors (the children especially) were really just ordinary people unaware of being filmed, and that, my friends, is acting at its finest!  2/20/2018

Mute                                                                            EH

Blade Runner much?  At least that’s what the futuristic set design reminded me of.  It obviously takes place in the future, but it bypassed me if it was revealed when.  Food is delivered to you in drones for goodness’ sake!  Directed by Duncan Jones, son of the late David Bowie, and starring Alexander Skarsgard, Paul Rudd and Justin Theroux, why wasn’t this a better movie?  The mute character of the title is played by Alexander and I don’t particularly see why his being mute had any significance.  He became that way after his Amish mother refused to allow preventable surgery (those strict religions!) after a boating accident as a child.  His “handicap” simply only made it harder for him to communicate when searching for a girl he loves.  The mystery suggested before the girl goes missing wasn’t even worth the wait when revealed.  Alexander wasn’t bad in his role, but I didn’t care at all for Paul or Justin’s performances.  I like Mr. Theroux but I strongly disliked him looking like a blonde hippy and possibly being a pedophile.  I really wanted to like this movie, but it appeared more thought was put into the set design (which was good) than the script (which wasn’t that good).  2/28/2018

The Neighbor                                                              B

Rear Window much?  Not quite actually.  It’s much worse.  I do hope you know I’m talking about the Hitchcock version and not the TV movie remake with Christopher Reeve.  I don’t recall much about the latter other than remembering watching it when it premiered and it’s probably because I didn’t really care.  I had to research and see if this was a TV movie but, nope, it was actually distributed as a film.  I guess if there’s at least one recognizable face (I counted two here), distribution isn’t a problem no matter how generic the script is.  I’ve seen enough of these domestic thrillers to prophesize several outcomes before they eventually happen.  This one didn’t tack on a single twist, making it a very bland film, as bland as films could possibly be.  The neighbor should’ve just taken his wife’s advice and stayed out of their new neighbor’s affairs or just called the police and had them handle it.  Then, like always, this movie wouldn’t exist and perhaps that’s when the screenwriter should consider a rewrite or throw this script out altogether so people like me wouldn’t choose to sit through extremely lame shit like this.  2/28/2018

Rebel in the Rye                                                          OK/G

The Catcher in the Rye was one of the few books I was forced to read in high school that I remember somewhat liking.  This biopic focuses on the author, J.D. Salinger, played by Nicholas Hoult.  I’d think a biopic would entail the majority of a person’s life from a really young age to their death (if they died), but sometimes too much info could be unnecessary filler.  Some of this does feel like filler despite focusing on a certain segment of his life, but I found much of it intriguing considering I knew very little about him before.  The film begins with Jerome (it’s what the J stands for) about to begin college for writing and moves through to his choosing a life of seclusion while writing without being published (until his death).  That’s a true writer, writing without getting paid for it and/or not having it read.  (That’s kind of what these reviews of mine are---I’m not getting paid although I wish I did).  Naturally, the film isn’t without its clichés.  People like his father try crushing his dreams by informing him he won’t make an honest living as a writer.  J.D. gets innumerous rejection letters before his first story is published.  I know it depicts how hard it is in the real world and artists should be prepared for and expect rejection, but it’s a story I’ve already heard many times about beginning authors.  It’s still not a bad biopic about an author with a writing mentality that might’ve been ahead of his time.  2/24/2018

Rememory                                                                   G

Memory can be very tricky sometimes.  It can be dangerous too.  It’s also what defines us and generally all we have.  This movie does mention things along those lines.  A device was created here that captures some of your memories and stores them so you yourself can watch as an observer.  There would be pros and cons if such a device were to exist.  On one hand, you could analyze certain situations from a different viewpoint and possibly alter the way you process them since many people tend to overanalyze memories.  On the other hand, it may open up old wounds or cause you to see things you wish you hadn’t and that refers back to the notion of memory being dangerous.  As mentioned in the film and I’m paraphrasing like usual, good memories are what keep us going but often they’re buried in a sea of bad ones.  That couldn’t be a truer statement, at least according to me, so it begs the question of whether we should just move on even from good memories.  While the ending isn’t so fresh and the film isn’t as detailed or brilliant as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I thought it was a decent sci-fi drama that brought up some good points pertaining to memory (as mentioned above).  2/23/2018

Ryde                                                                            EH

The title refers to a driving service similar to Uber or Lyft.  You can never be too careful in any situation, but I always thought Uber/Lyft were very shady.  You don’t know if the driver is crazy and plans to do something (which happens here) and the driver doesn’t know if the passengers are crazy (which also happens here).  This movie starts off mildly promising by focusing on more than character but quickly veers into bland slasher territory, combining traces of Taxi Driver, Maniac, and one scene reminding me of The Stepfather.  After being reminded of those better movies (I hope you know I’m referring to the original latter two titles since I rarely ever refer to remakes when mentioning good movies), all this film made me want to do was watch them instead.  Skip this ryde!  2/27/2018

Tragedy Girls                                                              OK/G

This is basically Heathers for the social media era (Ironically a new series based on that film is starting).  Kind of.  While Heathers was a black comedy, this was a straight satire with its tongue firmly embedded in-cheek.  This film was much more violent though.  In fact, the impressive violence makes it the best thing going for it.  Two high school girls commit town murders and cover it up with an online site making it look they’re interested in solving them.  Anyone can be a journalist these days with all the social media avenues!  The balance of comedy and horror has worked in the past, but even when this film goes to dark places, the farcical tone gets the better of it.  I give the violence a G rating and the script a conditional OK.  There’s much to admire here, but I just didn’t think it fully succeeded in merging the whimsical with the tragic.  3/3/2018

The Untamed                                                              G

This Mexican film is part family drama, part sci-fi mystery.  You never truly know what happens behind closed doors.  The “homophobic” husband is gay like usual but we see that before he acts homophobic.  Considering the carnal pleasure some of the women receive from an otherworldly squid-like creature, I’m baffled as to why some (like the husband) still have to conceal their sexuality in this day and age.  The film is fairly straightforward with bizarre and dark undertones and there’s nothing I’ve seen quite like it lately.  2/23/2018

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S                                                            G

This Disney Channel ‘Original Movie’ is simply titled Zombies; I just spelled it out in “cheer-speak” because that’s how it’s advertised.  It does contain zombies (if you count green hair and slightly pale skin) but it’s a musical/teen movie about differences and acceptance.  The differences here don’t involve race, gender, or sexuality; only if you’re living or zombie.  They’re technically not zombies since they didn’t die and return, just changed after an accident.  This accident caused the living to separate them with a wall, but eventually the zombies are allowed to attend high school on the living side after given devices called Z-bands preventing them from going rogue.  You can probably guess many will look past their differences by films end right?  There’s even a Romeo and Juliet subplot with a human and zombie falling in love, but I actually tolerated this film much more than I thought I would.  It’s aware of many clichés despite still utilizing them.  I think it would’ve been better strictly as a teen movie, but none of the musical numbers were too distracting regardless of being corny (it’s a Disney channel movie after all).  What the hell, I’m recommending it because I found no fault with it and liked the message saying those that are intolerant are the ones that have to change instead of those deemed “different” changing themselves.  That’s definitely uplifting for those (both young and old) struggling to feel good about themselves in the modern world.  2/20/2018

---Sean O.