Monday, October 28, 2024

Carved/Hysteria!

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Carved                                                                                    OK/G
A killer pumpkin?  I had to!  It isn’t a killer with a pumpkin head like Jack-O; no, this is an actual killer pumpkin.  The only other time I recall seeing that was in a segment of Tales of Halloween.  This isn’t an expansion of that segment, but it is one of a 5-minute short film of the same name released in 2018, both directed by Justin Harding (you can view the short if you Google it; this one is available on Hulu).  In it, a pumpkin is taken from a field and about to be used in a pumpkin carving contest in a small town festivity.  It isn’t long before the sentient gourd starts attacking and killing those in attendance with a bunch of tendrils it creates, in addition to other weapons.  There is violence, yes.  A group of people then hide in a nearby barn and try figuring out a way to escape this killer fruit.  (It takes place in the early 90s, so no cellulars, and the only means of escape involves keys not handy).  Was this great?  Nope.  It was fun enough in that ‘90’s VHS’ kind of way though.  (There was definitely a nod to Jack Frost 2 at the end).  The effects and creature design may not have been stellar, but they were passable, looking mostly practical (not when it appears more like a giant spider while walking with its tendrils in the distance); the pumpkin undoubtedly looked better than the one used in the short film.  Happy Halloween!  10/22/2024

Hysteria! (Season One)
1989.  Satanic Panic.  A metal band.  Bruce Campbell.  I was definitely in for this Peacock series.  (All eight episodes, roughly between 50-60-minutes each, are available).  A trio of teenagers (2 guys, 1 girl) in a small town (somewhere in Michigan, filmed in Georgia) are in a metal band and use the whole Satanic Panic theme to get more attention, which inevitably leads to one misunderstanding after another (amongst peers, townsfolk, authorities, etc.) following the murder of one of their classmates.  Bruce plays a cop that tries to get to the bottom of it all.  A reveal halfway made this less dark than I thought it would be; a rather pedestrian one too, and nothing much is done with it afterwards either.  There were sometimes hints of leading to dark places, but it always seemed to wimp out.  Plus, there were suggestions of a supernatural presence (right up to the very end), but I’m not sure whether any of it was real or not.  Cons aside, I did enjoy following the three band members and was curious to see where all of this was going (more so before that reveal, yes, but still a bit after).  There is no confirmed second season yet, but maybe I would welcome one.  Perhaps it might make this season (when all was said and done) feel less of a letdown…10/27/2024

Bonus reviews:

Catnado
They did it with sharks (six times!) and clowns, so why not cats?  And what’s next, right?  This actually came out two years ago, but wasn’t released until now (at least on streaming and DVD).  It wasn’t entirely what I expected, because I assumed it would be a single narrative, but it’s actually an anthology film consisting of six tales, one a take on an original Twilight Zone episode.  The titular disaster does appear in each segment though.  Now, does anyone (at least most people) actually expect a movie called Catnado to be any good?  Especially for one that didn’t get nearly as much publicity (apparently none until now) as the shark ones?  It is awful.  Aw-ful.  The acting is bad, the effects are really bad…what did you expect, right?  Curiosity will surely get people to check it out, but we all know what curiosity killed, right?  (Wink, wink).  I will admit though that it is often pretty funny at how ridiculously awful it is…10/27/2024

WNUF Halloween Special                                          B/EH
I finally got around to watching this film from 2013 presented as a live news broadcast set in the Eighties.  One segment of this broadcast involves a crew entering a haunted house that hasn’t been occupied in 20 years after a boy killed both his parents there.  Now, of this roughly 83-minute film, only about 20-minutes of it focuses on this particular segment.  If they were going for an authentic news program with tons and tons of commercials, they definitely succeeded.  My goodness was there a shitload of ads!  I hate commercials when watching a real movie or TV show, let alone an entire film containing them; fake ones too!  The majority of the ads weren’t compelling either; I think I might’ve enjoyed them more had they been from the actual 80’s (I might’ve even remembered some of them).  The segment in question was totally lacking too, containing a reveal that made me think “Really? That’s the best they could come up with?!”  This “movie” was a waste of time.  10/24/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

American Horror Stories (Season Three, Part 2)  >>>EH/OK
                                    (Hulu; 5 episodes)

Azrael  >>>OK

The Beast Within (2024)  >>>EH

Deer Camp ’86  >>>OK

Don’t Move (2024)  >>>OK
               (Netflix)

Family Pack (2024)  >>>OK
   (Netflix; In French with subtitles)

MadS  >>>OK
   (In French with subtitles)

The Phantom Carriage  >>>OK/G
            (Swedish silent film)

A Quiet Place: Day One  >>>OK

Woman of the Hour  >>>OK
               (Netflix)

---Sean O.
10/28/2024

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