Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Heart Eyes

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Heart Eyes                                                                  OK
There aren’t too many Valentine’s Day horror flicks.  There’s My Bloody Valentine and its remake, the underseen yet not exactly grand Lovers Lane, Valentine, and the segments from Holidays and the original Tales from the Crypt film (my review for Holidays in one of my older blogs is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2016/11/mooby-reviews-11416.html); ones featuring a romance without taking place on or around the holiday don’t count either.  Here’s another one to add to the list.  In it, a killer dubbed the Heart Eyes Killer (HEK, for short), due to the mask having hearts for the eyeholes, has killed people in different cities for the last three V-days, Seattle being the current one.  The kills, for the most part, are worthy enough, but the film generally isn’t anything other than ordinary; predictable more so than it tries not to be.  It’s basically a rom-com with a body count; a sappy rom-com by the end.  I wouldn’t say I disliked it, but it sucks I didn’t like it better than I anticipated.  Happy V-day, suckers!  2/11/2025

Bonus review:

Crust                                                                           EH
Sean Whalen, a face you recognize more than the name (he was in The People Under the Stairs, Twister, Idle Hands, etc.), directed, co-wrote, and stars in this, playing a has-been child actor living and working in a laundromat.  After a group of teens film him doing something private, yet very human, and post it online, one of his tears falls into a mound of socks, thus giving birth to the sock monster of the title.  Yup, a sock monster, complete with two holes for eyes, a mouth, and two arms (kind of reminded me of the Egg Monster on the cover of the original Goosebumps book, Egg Monsters from Mars).  It kills anyone that bothers our protagonist.  My expectations weren’t very high given the concept, but this didn’t work for me; at least not in the way I hoped it would.  (I did think it was funny when Crust danced along to an oldies tune, and I liked how they decided to end the film).  It’s basically more of a drama about a man with a mid-life crisis, the titular sock monster essentially ancillary.  2/8/2025

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Arena Wars  >>>OK

The Birthday (2004)  >>>EH/OK

Borderless Fog  >>>EH
   (Netflix; In Indonesian with subtitles)

Can You Feel the Beat:  The Lisa Lisa Story  >>>OK
                               (Lifetime)

Cupid (2020)  >>>OK

Gladiator II  >>>OK

Grave Torture  >>>EH/OK
   (In Indonesian with subtitles)

Here (2024)  >>>OK/G

My Animal  >>>OK/G

Severance (Season One)  >>>OK/G
            (Apple+; 9 episodes)

SpongeBob Squarepants: Kreepaway Kamp  >>>B/EH

---Sean O.
2/12/2025

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