Always Shine EH
This film about female competitiveness in the acting world
begins interestingly but gets extremely boring midway on. One girl is prettier and gets acting
auditions, the other girl is not-so-pretty and frequently gets rejected. Things don’t end too well as you can imagine.
Women can be nasty to each other and that’s
normal, but when assumed misogyny is involved, they’re all for one. The sisterhood, I know. I’m tired of hearing about hypocritical
feminism and how hard it is to be a woman.
We can play gender wars all day and no one will win because suffering is
subjective. Being a gay white male, I’m
somehow “privileged” and oppressed simultaneously. Anyway, this movie certainly didn’t shine for
me. 3/10/2017
Before I Fall OK
Imagine Groundhog Day
as a teen movie set in the Pacific Northwest.
Actually, I thought I was watching a movie from 1997 instead of 2017 at
first with all the stereotypical high school cliques and the “mean girls”
making fun of a lesbian. I’m all for
stories with alternate timelines and reversed situations being a fan of movies
like Groundhog Day and The Butterfly Effect. Those movies are original. This movie started off fun. I liked seeing how each situation would be
altered and clichéd setups are subverted quite nicely, but eventually this
falls into unoriginal sappy teen revelation territory. She’s gonna be in this repetitive purgatory
until she betters herself and makes others happy. Blah, blah, blah. Mean people always have a reason for their behavior. Yada, yada, yada. For once, I’d like to see Satan come up and
tell them they either did right or wrong before he takes or releases them. Nah, Hollywood doesn’t like originality, just
the same old recycled rehash with popular or pretty faces. Although that notion involving Satan was
slightly hinted at in All Dogs Go to
Heaven. That’s a good movie about
second chances! 3/10/2017
Creepy EH
The neighbor may appear creepy, but there’s nothing remotely
creepy about this Japanese film minus some scattered soundtrack music. It begins as a compelling mystery leading to a
super lame midway reveal in the vein of formulaic American horror movies,
topped off with a lackluster ending proving how idiotic the psychopath was. I thought Hollywood usually remade Japanese
horror movies, not vice versa? If they
somehow tackle this one, I hope they make it better. 3/2/2017
Get Out G
Jordan Peele is strictly behind the scenes for this
one. His other half, Keegan-Michael Key,
doesn’t make an appearance either. While
there are traces of The Stepford Wives
and The Skeleton Key, this is
generally its own movie. It’s not quite Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner? I swear I heard the creepy violin music
from Tales from the Hood (a
near-perfect anthology) too. As of this
writing, it has a 99% rating on Rotten Tomatoes with the only negative review
coming from a black man. Interesting. While initially containing stereotypical
white folks saying unintentionally racist things, it all makes sense in the
long run. Seeing previews and watching
the movie, you know something sinister is afoot and Mr. Peele keeps you focused
until the somewhat clever reveal. Some
may find it comical but regardless of what you take away, it’ll give you
something to think about. Race is a
touchy subject most people wish to sweep under the rug, but it’s also
ubiquitous and inescapable (no matter who’s on the receiving end). Everyone thinks racist thoughts whether
they’d like to or not. Racism against
your own race counts too. Some might peg
this as racist against blacks despite being directed by a black man. Similar to I Spit On Your Grave (either version, specifically the original)
being labeled misogynist but arguably feminist (she does get her revenge after
all), I personally think this movie might be pro-black. I’d love to hear other opinions though. I know I’m going to have to watch this
again. 3/2/2017
The Girl With All the
Gifts G
I would’ve never come across this English zombie film if it
weren’t for Rue Morgue. Without them,
I wouldn’t know about several movies other than the same crap released through
Redbox and Netflix, now that video stores are obsolete. Other critics besides them have praised this film
for “people tired of zombie movies.”
Since I heard that going in, it was naturally tough not to expect a
masterpiece. While I didn’t think it was
spectacular, there were some worthy ideas to be had. Examples include sleeping zombies, “dog bait,”
zombieblock (think sunblock), and the notion of the Girl’s generation (labeled “abortions”) being advanced. The undead are called “hungries” and fungus
is involved. I thought it was too short
and it was almost 2 hours, so that might be a good thing. 3/10/2017
London Town OK
This coming-of-age film set in England during 1978 contains touching,
sappy and pointless moments. The film
prominently features The Clash as the protagonist discovers them through a
punkish girl hiding her true identity much like, but dissimilar to, Molly
Ringwald in Pretty in Pink. I am a fan of The Clash but, while considered
punk in their heyday, they’d more likely be alternative if coming out now. I’d still like them though. Their anti-government attitudes at the time (not
much different 40 years later) melded with rock music lumped them with the Sex
Pistols (whom were more anarchical and would still be considered punk
today). This film was primarily about
the teenage boy growing up in troubled times.
It has its moments but ultimately feels hollow and The Clash deserve
better representation. 3/10/2017
Minutes Past Midnight EH
It’s hard for anthology films to contain all hits. There are rarities (Trick ‘R Treat, Creepshow 2,
V/H/S/2) but many times there’s a few
misses amongst mostly hits. Sometimes
it’s half-and-half. Sometimes the misses
surpass the hits, like this collection of nine shorts. I counted only two standouts that were placed
towards the end. I had high hopes too
considering Rue Morgue promoted it and were involved in its distribution. Uncork’d, the studio that releases
non-theatrical subpar horror movies, were also involved so I’ll blame them
more. “Never Tear Us Apart” had a cool axe
murder but contained some fake gross gore (common in Uncork’d films) and was
unoriginally lame. Then came “Awake”
which was a waste of time regardless of brevity. “Crazy for You” was fairly formulaic until
the surprisingly morbid ending. “The
Mill at Calder’s End” was a good story with a kick-ass monster, props (!) for
that, but the creepy clay-mated puppets just didn’t work for me. Tim Burton could probably direct a better
live-action version. “Roid Rage” was the
worst and longest unfortunately. It’s
also nasty. Imagine Teeth in a disgusting dude’s asshole. “Feeder” was interesting for a sell-your-soul-for-arts-sake
tale but becomes relatively predictable. “Timothy” was one of the best, and one of the
shortest unfortunately, containing a killer “rabbit” deserving its own
feature-length movie. “Ghost Train” was
the other standout worthy of a longer film involving an abandoned theme park. The set design is amazing and there’s many
possibilities to expand the story. The
film ends with “Horrific” which was almost decent and might’ve worked if the
creatures were tweaked a bit. There’s no
wraparound segment unless you count (!) the clock ticking between each section. Rue Morgue, I think you should stick
to writing about movies if this collection is any indication. Or, next time boot Uncork’d Entertainment
since these vignettes typify their output.
3/2/2017
The Perfect Husband OK
Initially, I thought this thriller was going the route of
domestic woes. It actually turns into a
bloody good surprise. That is until the
twist ending that might’ve worked 20 years ago.
This is one of those rare occasions where the movie works before the twist. Being a filmmaker, I would imagine you’d
watch lots of movies to pick up on styles, techniques and storytelling
ideas. I’d also think you’d pick up on what
to avoid, how to transcend the forefathers, and how to tweak clichés. Apparently not if modern filmmakers are still
making the same movies and thinking the same twists will be innovative. If you decide to watch this, turn it off
about 20 minutes early (after she shoots him).
It’ll be a much better movie. 3/10/2017
Recovery EH
This film isn’t fresh one bit. Only the turning point or plotline would’ve differed
20 years ago. There’d be no movie if the
girl didn’t need to retrieve her phone (there’d be a different reason before
the Millennium) at the house of psychos.
In the beginning, the father mentions to his son that God forgives white
lies. Right, white lies are still lies and I’m guessing God would overlook killing
(Thou Shall Not Kill?) and kidnapping girls to date his son? This movie could’ve been much darker and some
of the characters are almost likeable, but this ultimately feels trivial. I was reminded of a much better film from
Australia called The Loved Ones. Check that out, skip this. 3/10/2017
The Snare EH
A trio gets locked in a high-rise hotel in the middle of
nowhere during off-season when the power goes out. Therefore the elevator doesn’t work. Apparently stairways weren’t constructed, so
if there was ever a fire, everyone would be fucked. It’s not safe to try and climb down the building
since the rooms are too far apart. Also,
no one knows they’re there. Of course
none of their phones work, one girl left hers in the car, and apparently these rooms
don’t come with landlines. How did this
building pass regulations? Or is this
acceptable code in England? I sure as
hell wouldn’t feel safe staying in one of these rooms. Food eventually runs out and water shut off
with the electricity (rain provides minimal relief). Demonic forces are hinted at towards the end
which may explain all the unlikely scenarios that came before. If so, it was a clever idea presented much
too late. Then something happens
suggesting it all could’ve been psychological.
This movie’s a mess. 3/10/2017
---Sean O.
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