The Belko Experiment VG
Tony Goldwyn. Horror
movie. Director of Wolf Creek and Rogue. I was in automatically. There’re several recognizable faces in this
Colombia-set film; IMDb-it for the full list.
Greg McLean certainly regains himself after last year’s dud, The Darkness. Workers in an office building are told via
intercom to kill two people in a half-hour.
Naturally most believe it’s a prank and, realistically, who
wouldn’t? Four people (double the
amount) are killed when the task isn’t accomplished. Every employee was embedded with a tracking
device in their skull upon being hired so “Big Brother” simply has to press a
button and their heads explode. That’s a
clever tactic in that no one can truly hide.
Escape is impossible since the building is boarded up with steel, armed
guards are outside, and all forms of communication are cut off. After the workers realize the situation is
real, things quickly escalate and some release their inner savage as
authentically possible in that scenario.
If you ever watched the original Twilight
Zone, imagine a more extreme version of “The Monsters Are Due on Maple
Street.” This film is harsh, tense and
bloody and that’s what I loved about it!
3/20/2017
Death Do Us Part OK
House in the middle of the woods. Creepy caretaker. Dead birds on the porch. Do you really think nothing’s gonna
happen? Apparently these people don’t
watch horror movies, but most movie characters never do (minus satires) and
it’s why they make the same stupid mistakes continuously. One character does make a vampire reference pertaining to the myths, no movies
mentioned. This isn’t a vampire movie
though. It’s a whodunit containing 3 men
and 3 women involved in an upcoming wedding.
Secrets come out, fights ensue, bodies pile up. Yada, yada, yada. I actually did become invested with the
characters however unlikeable most were.
There’s more than one twist too, but I care not about twists
anymore. I’m all twisted out. It’s not the worst of its kind, but you can
kill time with better movies. 3/19/2017
The Devil’s Candy G/VG
Heavy metal and horror movies. My comforts growing up a queer loner (or
loser perhaps). Heavy metal plays a
minimal (but no less significant) role in this film from Sean Byrne who also
made The Loved Ones (an Australian
film I’m a big fan of that made my top ten list the year it came out; I
actually referenced it in my last blog---see Recovery review). This was
filmed and set in Texas. Why come to
America after making a success? Where
you’re from is what makes you unique. Come
to think of it, the wide open spaces of Texas probably don’t differ much from
flat Australian landscapes. The
mythological entity iconic in both metal and horror is metaphysically involved
in the plot (hint: It’s part of the title).
Cue the holy rollers claiming rock music and horror flicks are tools of
the Devil. The stereotypical premise is
handled quite effectively though. I
liked this film. I really did. While I was upset with the happy ending, this
is generally an engrossing dark thrill ride.
It’s short and sweet like…candy(!).
Mr. Byrne, you certainly have my attention. 3/19/2017
Elle G
Here we have a French movie directed by the same guy that
gave us Robocop. It starts off with a rape executed so
nonchalantly, I had no idea what I was getting into. Was this going to be a comedy? Thriller?
Tragedy? The whole time I was
curious about the title sharing the name of a fashion magazine. The main character’s name was Michele with
one L, so it couldn’t have been the second half of her name. Turns out “elle” means “she” in French (my
single semester during college came back to me) and that makes a certain
sense. The director also made Basic Instinct and, unlike that film,
the female isn’t the villain here.
Michele developed a thick skin resulting from a traumatic time in her
childhood and her resilience shows during several serious matters. I know she’s acting but most other people
would probably be institutionalized.
This film portrays the dark underside amongst seemingly classy
individuals like Blue Velvet albeit
much less surreal. It can be quite dirty
too (nothing wrong with that) and I shouldn’t have expected less from the guy
that gave us Showgirls (vastly
underrated in my opinion). The film is
fairly straightforward, but there’s something to be said when I didn’t doze off
once during its two hour-plus run time while I was slightly tired. For that I’m recommending it, but I most
likely won’t watch it again. 3/19/2017
Eloise B
I saw this had a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes beforehand, so
that naturally left me little anticipation other than hoping I’d like it. I almost feel proud when I like critically
panned movies. Sorry, can’t be a
nonconformist this time. This lame-ass
movie contains elements of House on
Haunted Hill (the remake), extreme instances of Fear Factor, and every single haunted abandoned asylum movie
released in the last 30 years. Even the
dark hallways of the titular asylum reek of banality and never manage to be
remotely creepy. Avoid. 3/14/2017
The Eyes of My Mother OK
This modern black-and-white film is rather dark and grisly. It also has no point whatsoever. Come to think of it, all movies are pointless. All you do is sit on your ass accomplishing
nada. Unless, by chance, you obtain a
livable wage reviewing movies (*dream job*).
But yes, I do like watching movies.
I liked where this was heading and the director certainly knows how to
make movies (it’s a very well-shot gothic film), but it left me feeling cold. In opposition to thinking certain movies
would benefit from some fat-trimming, this really short movie could use some
fattening up. Otherwise, all the right
stuff is there. 3/15/2017
Hacksaw Ridge EH/OK
War is horrific and so are most movies based on them. Cue the Edwin Starr song, “War.” Two of my favorite war films are Braveheart and The Patriot, both of which involve Mel Gibson who happens to be the
director here. This film gets pretty
gruesome but feels indistinguishable from typical war movies. Funny how the public at large doesn’t seem to
mind violence if based on history, but fictional violent films are a
problem. Also, I didn’t realize how faith-based
this film would be, almost making religion appear to be the focal point. Cue all the religious folks claiming this
man’s life was spared because of his faith.
Blah, blah, blah. I have
absolutely nothing against people that believe in God, but I do have a problem
with people that pick and choose what to follow from the Bible. I don’t understand how you could go into
combat without protection solely because of your religious beliefs. This guy was called a coward and still fought
his way in, so I respect his determination.
Of course his fellow soldiers weren’t calling him a coward when he was
saving their lives. I almost felt like I
was watching a sports movie where the underdog is lauded after winning the
game. Aside from those quibbles, the
beginning contained a sappy romance and terrible acting. I did like meeting everyone at base; I just
wish we could’ve acquainted a little more so their misfortunes might’ve been
more effective. One of the most ominous
scenes I’ve witnessed in a war film is when the soldiers climbed the rope
ladder into war territory for the first time.
I’m sure this film has fans considering it was nominated for best
picture (Oscars). Sadly, I can’t
necessarily say I’m one of them. 3/16/2017
Kong: Skull Island G
When I see a monster movie, I don’t necessarily care much
for exposition and characterization. I
want to see some action! I understand we
need to meet the people (their ends might be more tragic that way) and plan the
arrival to where the monsters are. While
this movie has that, it definitely delivers the mayhem! Thank goodness the creatures look amazing because
I despise schlocky creature-features containing deplorable CGI. While I dislike Kong being the (situational)
good guy, it’s actually not handled in a cornball fashion. Cue the evolutionists emphasizing our ape
relations due to shared emotions. I
didn’t enjoy this as much as Jurassic
Park/World or even Peter Jackson’s King
Kong (that contained a lot more creatures but was also an hour longer), but
it was way better than movies like Pacific
Rim and the last Godzilla. This is good old-fashioned monster movie fun. Be sure to wait until the end of the credits
if you’d like to see what’s (possibly) yet to come. 3/17/2017
The Love Witch OK/G
I had to make sure this actually came out now and not in the
‘70’s. Congratulations to the set
designers, wardrobe department and cinematographers for making this look authentic
instead of failing to emulate that era.
This began as a highly stylized body count movie but isn’t quite horror despite
having genre elements. I’m not really
sure how to categorize this since it tonally shifts like South Jersey winter weather. It’s trippy, whimsical and occasionally
bloody but never scary. It’s ultimately
a feminist witch movie even though the eponymous character acts humanistic one
time, unless that was one of her many ploys.
A jar filled with more than one bodily fluid is rather distasteful. This is the first time I’ve seen Gian Keys
and I’m already a fan. I have mixed
feelings overall but probably lean more towards G because, similar to Elaine’s
power over her victims, there’s a mesmerizing quality grabbing ahold until the
end credits. 3/22/2017
Tower G
Here’s a novel technique portraying the shooting that took
place at the University of Texas in August of 1966. It was essentially the starting point for
modern mass shootings but isn’t referenced much. The ordeal lasted 96 minutes and some people didn’t
think it was real since school shootings weren’t common then. It’s primarily presented in rotoscope
animation (think A Scanner Darkly) detailing
first-hand accounts from witnesses performed by actors/actresses playing the
real people as if the event was currently happening. Of course it’s always compelling to see the
killer’s biopic, but that was a clever way to see witnesses and victims
perspectives. Those segments are
intercut with news footage plus recent live-action interviews of the aged
survivors. Even at 82 minutes, this
pseudo-documentary drags a little but it’s still recommendable for its
ingenious presentation of a tragic event.
However, if someone else tries utilizing it, I’ll think its old hat and might
not give it a G rating. 3/21/2017
---Sean O.
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