The Accountant B
I thought this was heading somewhere at first but it only
gets worse and worse. It’s too jumbled
and I lost interest by the time it reverted to each section. I figured out the “twist” right away from
watching too many movies. I didn’t care
by then anyway. When it ended, I felt
like I just watched 2 hours of nothing. 2/18/2017
American Pastoral OK
This movie set primarily during the ‘60’s goes to show that
current events differ little. Race riots
and violent protests occur today for different reasons yet similar
politics. One thing I will say about
Dakota Fanning’s character is that she walks the walk unlike most privileged
people protesting but doing zilch about it.
Turns out her life gets much worse after running away from home but she
still sticks with her principles. It’s
amazing how her own mother eventually writes her off just because of her
beliefs. I don’t recall meeting David Strathairn’s
younger character so what makes him so important to tell the story and why is
he introduced at all? He only claims he
knew Ewan McGregor’s character growing up.
Ewan knows how to direct but this movie feels empty overall. 2/18/2017
Bad Santa 2 OK/G
I am a fan of Bad
Santa and recall having no desire to see it upon release. It was funny, raunchy and mean-spirited. Something we don’t see much of in (non-horror)
Christmas movies. This sequel is also
funny, raunchy and mean-spirited. It
also feels parodical at times, like when Billy Bob gets lucky in several public
places. Those parts aren’t funny. It’s kinda creepy how fatty Thurman Merman
has the same mentality as 13 years ago.
It’s also funny in the way Will Ferrell is funny in Elf because he doesn’t know any better. It doesn’t quite have the same novel charm
this time, but if you were a fan of Bad
Santa, it’s probably not gonna hurt to check this one out. 2/23/2017
The Crooked Man VB
This doesn’t pertain to the character from The Conjuring 2. In fact, I would’ve preferred a spin-off. My main beef with this film is with the
Crooked Man himself: poorly-executed CGI
that would’ve worked just fine with practical make-up. The special effects are just as lame as
everything else in this crapfest. Even
his “crooked” house sucks. The Crooked
Man kills a girl at a sleepover and returns six years later (after another girl
accused of murdering that girl is released from an institution) to kill
everyone else there that night. The
Crooked Man couldn’t kill everyone while she was away? The kills are extremely unsuspenseful and
flairless. I’m not even sure if those
are real words or not. Watching stupid
movies like this are making me stupid! I
hated this movie. I’d be flabbergasted
to see a movie worse than this before 2018, but there’s ten months left and
other contenders are probably saying “hold my beer.” I’ll stick to the same-titled (but no
relation whatsoever) anti-straight short story by Charles Beaumont thank you
very much! 2/17/2017
I’m Not Ashamed OK
I am absolutely not a fan of religious or faith-based
movies. I gave this a shot because it
was based on one of the Columbine victims.
I have a strange fascination with certain tragic histories especially if
I was alive and aware when they occurred.
I remember when the shooting happened, I was saddened for the victims’
families yet also strangely fascinated.
I hated most people in my high school but never thought of bringing in
guns, and I watched violent movies.
Columbine wasn’t even the first school (or mass) shooting nor did it
have the most casualties, but it birthed a whole bunch of copycats and the name
alone became synonymous with mass shootings or violent youth in general. I like the narrative technique here since people
usually remember the killer(s) and never the victims. I think it could be more disturbing as well because
we’re witnessing their life before it tragically ends. The only victim recognized for a bit was
Cassie, the girl allegedly shot for saying she believed in God. This movie focuses on another victim, Rachel
Scott, who also happened to find God before being murdered. I find it hard to believe a pretty girl like
her (both in this movie and real life) felt invisible in school. If she wasn’t caught sneaking out one night
and sent to visit her relatives (played by members of Duck Dynasty no less) in Louisiana (the Deep South no less), she
never would’ve considered Christianity.
It always takes a wrongdoing or years of wrongdoings to make people better
themselves by believing in an invisible deity apparently not needed or present
in their life before that. It’s funny
how focus is never on a mean Christian acting in opposition to their doctrines,
or an atheist making an impact on lives like Rachel. Where indeed was God when Rachel’s short life
was taken from her? Believers would say
it was her time or blame it on Satan, but if she was an atheist they would blame
her lack of faith. I’m sure Rachel was a
very nice girl as she claimed (at least in the movie) she wasn’t an “intolerant,
self-righteous, hypocritical” Christian.
I’d like to see a movie about a non-religious victim (from Columbine or
any other tragedy) and see that people are equally upset about their death. Regardless of anyone’s beliefs, Rachel and the
other victims weren’t “meant to be there.”
They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. 2/23/2017
The LEGO Batman Movie G
I was a huge fan of The
LEGO Movie and didn’t expect to be.
I like Batman here and
there. I prefer the Tim Burton-era Batman’s since those were the ones I
grew up with and I’m a big Burton fan.
This wasn’t as good as LEGO Movie
but it was still fun. I enjoyed it more
than some live-action versions. I know
I’m going to have to watch it again because there was too much to take in the
first time. You may not necessarily have
to be a Batman fan to enjoy this but
it would help to at least be aware of all the characters. There’s two messages underlying all this mayhem: the traditional storytelling construct indicating
heroes wouldn’t exist without villains, plus the age-old theme suggesting
there’s usually a reason people act the way they do. 2/17/2017
Manchester by the Sea G
Kudos to Kenneth Lonergan for placing the death in the
beginning. The structure benefits this
film greatly. We’re presented with
flashbacks throughout the present day.
If the film would’ve been linear preceding the inevitable untimely
death, this could’ve been much sappier. There’s
more than one tragedy presented and they’re handled solemnly but surprisingly
not as depressing as the subject matter.
Tone! All about tone! The younger Affleck plays an apartment
janitor living a seemingly miserable existence (and you’ll understand why)
until he returns home to take care of some unwanted family affairs. This shows your life could always be worse
and today’s problems can be replaced by bigger problems tomorrow. The performers are very good and the familial
strife even after a death in the family rings true. People argue.
Families argue. Mr. Lonergan
feels no need to sugarcoat relationships since reality isn’t perfect like a
1950’s sitcom. While I did like this
film, it does run a bit longer than it should.
Still, this is better than several of big brother Ben’s recent flicks
(one of them reviewed above). 2/26/2017
Stake Land II EH
The first one was a decent apocalyptic bloodsucker
flick. This one picks up where that one
ended. I don’t know why you’d desire watching
Stake Land II if you never saw nor
heard of Stake Land. If that’s the case, just watch the first one
and neglect this one. This is similar to
a boring Walking Dead episode. There’s lots of drama and the vampires are
secondary elements adding occasional tension.
The ending hinted at a possible Stake
Land III (Hell, what modern movie doesn’t
suggest a follow-up?). I hope it’s
better than this if so. 2/17/2017
XX OK/G
Four films directed by four women. That’s how it was marketed. I love me some anthology films so I viewed
these without focusing on who made them.
I’m usually anti-feminist (not anti-woman) especially if they preach
hypocritical rhetoric. My buddy Jovanka
Vuckovic (one of the directors and
alumni of Rue Morgue and Revolver Magazines) once stated she
wants to see more balance, not to remove white men altogether. I stand behind that sentiment 100% as I’m all
for equality as well. In every regard
though. That means I want to see women
(at least the ones bitching about equality and male chauvinism) do “real” hard
work as well (construction, electrical work, sewage, etc.). Don’t give me none of that shit that women
shouldn’t be doing those jobs; if you have two functioning arms and two functioning
legs and aren’t pregnant, you are very capable of doing anything men are
expected to do. It’s been proven women
can be feminine in addition to doing traditionally masculine work. I’ve witnessed it. Those women are inspirational to me. (North
Country is a good example and a very good movie). Anyway, this batch of vignettes is a mixed
bag typical of the format. Jovanka’s
entry “The Box” was rather grim and I felt somewhat cheated by its open-endedness. However, it was the best and most unforgettable. “The Birthday Party” was pointless as I don’t
see why the dead husband had to remain a secret regardless of the
occasion. “Don’t Fall” was a decent
demonic possession creature feature that slightly reminded me of a Campfire Tales segment. “Her Only Living Son” had a tinge of Rosemary’s Baby and was also open-ended,
but I like my conclusion if that was the intention. All of these were wrapped around by a
bizarre, slightly ominous, ultra-surreal tale involving a walking
dollhouse. Good effort but not the best
collection. 2/20/2017
---Sean O.
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