American Fable G
I’m guessing this takes place in 1982 (the year I was born!)
since I heard that year mentioned on a radio.
Ronald Reagan was on the TV so it’s sometime during that decade. This simplistic film is basically about
farmers struggling to keep their land and the drastic measures some resort to
in order to prevent it from being taken away.
All this seen from the perspective of a young girl seemingly the only
compassionate one in her family of four.
I was slightly reminded of an Italian film called I’m Not Scared although this wasn’t quite as disturbing. It’s not without its dark undertones
though. I’m marginally recommending this
well-acted, strangely captivating American fable (!). 8/23/2017
Annabelle: Creation G
Well, I did enjoy this more than the first one. Chronologically, this would be the first since it’s a prequel. Annabelle
disappointed me initially since I expected a killer doll movie and it was more
akin to Rosemary’s Baby, which I have
zero problems with in the slightest, it’s just not what I anticipated. I appreciated it slightly more upon repeated
viewings solely as a demonic feature. Since I knew the doll was a conduit, I went
into this not expecting it to walk and talk like Chucky. This gothic haunted house film is a lot of
fun, basically being a greatest hits homage to horror films of yore. It’s as if the filmmakers were devising ways
to incorporate several tropes of the genre.
Naturally, clichés abound. It
gets real quiet before knowing a “jump scare” is soon to follow and they always
do. The dark creepy house in the middle
of nowhere works for the situations though.
I do suggest seeing this theatrically if possible, or watch it at night
with no lights on and no interruptions.
The two teenage girls sitting next to me were freaking out the majority
of the time and it undeniably added a bit of fun for this desensitized
viewer. Also, I still don’t see how
characters can investigate sounds in the dark (or otherwise) especially if
other unexplained events have occurred.
If I ever heard a strange noise in a spooky house, my ass would be under
the covers until morning. In all fairness,
this took place in the ‘50’s so the characters haven’t yet seen too many movies
to think about spooky clichés. This was
made in 2017 however, so the filmmakers should be very aware of them. Besides, this is still a fun flick involving
demonic activity with the titular doll being an added aesthetic. Horror aficionados, pay attention in the
beginning for a cameo played by an aged actor from a certain Stephen King movie
bearing the same name from said movie.
Not very subtle. 8/17/2017
The Boss Baby OK
Babies are worried that dogs are stealing people’s
affections and not liking them as much.
I’m sure if a companion movie were made, dogs would be thinking the same
about babies. Some people have dogs
before having a baby and I’m sure the canines probably feel a bit of competition. Anyway, this animation is mostly harmless for
the younger demographic, warrants a few chuckles, and might be bittersweet, but
I think is only worth watching once. 8/21/2017
Colossal OK/G
Is this supposed to be sci-fi, drama or comedy? Or a combination of all three? Perhaps a parody of giant monster flicks
hailing from East Asia? I’m not really
sure. It tonally shifts several times
throughout from being comedic to melodramatic to occasionally serious. It’s a genius idea handled in a somewhat
asinine manner. Basically, two Americans
(Anne Hathaway and Jason Sudeikis) have the ability to teleport into giant
monsters in Korea resulting from a childhood incident. While I was impatient at times, I was curious
to see how it would end and it does end creatively. I’m still not exactly sure how I feel
overall. I’m not dismissing it so I’ll
let you decide. 8/12/2017
The Dinner B
Well that was a complete waste of two hours! Sometimes I think any movie will be green-lit
as long as famous names are attached.
Here, we have Richard Gere, Steve Coogan and Laura Linney amongst others
attending the dinner in question at a fancy restaurant. The actual dinner probably only constitutes
one-third of the entire movie since we’re presented with multiple flashbacks
and simultaneous events. Sometimes it
appeared as if the editor placed scenes out of order. I think I might’ve preferred them eating
dinner at the restaurant and conversing the whole time. Even then I probably would’ve been bored. I hated every inch of this movie. 8/10/2017
Everything, Everything OK
Sappy, sappy. You
should figure that anyway. It has its
moments. I particularly liked when the
two characters acted out texting conversations.
It’s a bit progressive too despite being heteronormative. An interracial romance is involved and never
once did I hear anyone mention race, even facetiously. I predicted the ending fairly early and so
should most people even if they never read the book, which I did not. The ending is entirely unoriginal, a bit
cruel on one person’s part, and somewhat negates everything, everything that came
before. Hopeful romantic tweens and
teens might enjoy but everyone else will likely think nothing, nothing of
it. 8/22/2017
Once Upon a Time in
Venice EH
I guess Bruce Willis just needs a paycheck these days. Or he’s just being nice to filmmakers, here
being Mark and Robb Cullen, brothers responsible for writing the Kevin Smith
dud, Cop Out, also starring Mr.
Willis. Bruce Willis is one of my first
recollected celebrity crushes. He
definitely aged but he sorta almost still has it. There’re several recognizable faces other
than Bruce. I guess they all need money
too or are friendly with the Cullen brothers as well. If this same movie were made with all
unknowns, I doubt this would’ve been funded, at least not with a major
studio. The overall message is not to
mess with a man’s dog, especially if it’s as cute as the one in this
movie. Didn’t I just see that in John Wick? I’ll always love Bruce (more before than now)
but not necessarily all his films. At
times I was reminded of Hudson Hawk,
another silly movie of his from the early ‘90’s, only this time he skateboards
naked. 8/17/2017
Shin Godzilla EH
I guess this is a modern reimagining or remake. It takes place in Japan and features a giant
creature monikered Godzilla or Gojira depending on the language. I was never a huge fan of the giant lizard
franchise but I can appreciate them and I’ll watch some of the movies. Anything horror, sci-fi or creature feature
related will always whet my curiosity. I
didn’t much care for the monster in this adaptation. If I don’t like the creature in a creature feature, the movie is surely doomed. The behemoth was more anatomical with the
power to evolve and has a couple tricks up its sleeve. The highlight of the film for me was when
Godzilla caused some damage by utilizing one of these abilities. Still, it was too little in a 2-hour film
that’s 80% exposition and dialogue pertaining to defeating this monster. Fans don’t care about all the yakking already
in every other movie of this type, they just want to see some action! Godzilla-philes might enjoy this entry but those
with even just a passing interest probably won’t give a shit. 8/21/2017
The Transfiguration VG
Finally, a good vampire movie. It’s debatable whether the protagonist
actually was a vampire or simply the result of a fractured mind affected by a
traumatic event. He claims becoming one
isn’t passed on but rather a disease and real vampires can be in the sunlight,
eat garlic, and gradually develop a taste for blood with age. He apparently doesn’t sprout fangs when
feeding either. Whatever the intention
was, I didn’t feel cheated in the slightest and the potent ending felt just
right. Milo (the afflicted black teen)
has a VHS collection of recorded vampire movies and keeps notebooks filled with
vampire lore and rules to live by. He
lives in the inner city and befriends a white girl living with her cantankerous
grandfather. Not only does Milo have to
deal with his “disease” but also with local bullies and gang members. I was reminded of the Swedish Let the Right One In and Milo even
admits to preferring that film over Twilight
despite never seeing it since “vampires don’t twinkle” and feeling it’s not realistic
enough. One thing I never understood was
how movie characters don’t watch movies themselves. These characters talk endlessly about movies
(movies I love) that I felt I was hanging out with friends. This was basically a coming-of-age movie
involving a “vampire.” There is violence no doubt with at least two relatively
disturbing scenes coming to mind. Definitely
worth checking out. 8/10/2017
Unforgettable B
Well if that isn’t a misleading title! The
Hand that Rocks the Obsessed Fatal Attraction seems more appropriate.
At least they would’ve been honest to some of the movies being ripped
off. I had a smidgen of hope beforehand
considering this was Denise Di Novi’s (producer of several Tim Burton films and
Heathers) directorial debut. I should just copy and paste past reviews for
similar movies since I feel I repeat myself way too often. Girl begins relationship with guy. Guy has kid from previous relationship. Ex-wife is still in their life. Ex-wife is obviously unhinged. Ex-wife is jealous of new girl. Ex-wife plots to make new girl look crazy
despite us viewers knowing the truth.
People realize too late that ex-wife is the crazy one. A final showdown between ex-wife and new girl
ends badly for one. I’ll be astonished
if you’re unfamiliar with any of that.
Denise, I’m astonished you chose this completely derivative and
forgettable (!) movie to be your directorial debut! Stick to producing! 8/19/2017
The Visitor (1979) B
My buddy John Bowen from Rue Morgue magazine wrote an
article detailing the extreme absurdity of this feature prompting me to find
out for myself. Poorly reviewed movies
pique my interest just as much as critically acclaimed ones. I always hope to like “bad” movies. I got absolutely nothing from this
atrocity. A featurette on the disc
claims this was supposed to be an homage to The
Exorcist. Not once did I think of
that movie while watching. The only
slight comparisons would be that there’s a Jesus figure, a bitchy little girl,
and implied possessions. I think this is
supposed to be an alien invasion film but I’m not exactly sure. There’s a basketball game in the beginning
appearing to be a real one which makes me wonder if it actually was and the
director edited it in. The one thing
(and only thing) I did like in this 100 minute movie was the “bird knife.” That was pretty cool. I’m all for surrealism as long as I get
something from it. You can’t be bizarre
just for the sake of being bizarre. I’ve
enjoyed most of David Lynch’s films.
Thanks for wasting my time by making me aware of this film, Mr.
Bowen. 8/17/2017
Wind River OK
Generic thriller at best.
It’s a shame too considering a good portion of the cast consists of
Native Americans (actually played by them), whom are the most underrepresented
demographic in pictures. There’s a
rather haunting statement at the end pertaining to Native American women. Regardless of who’s playing these parts, this
film doesn’t differentiate from much else I’ve seen. Its effective build-up leads to a rather
uninspired conclusion. Don’t see it in
the theater, wait for the DVD/Blu-Ray/OnDemand release. 8/17/2017
---Sean O.
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