Bedeviled EH
An app contains a demon named Mr. Bedeviled (that’s lame,
why didn’t they just title the movie Mr.
Bedeviled?) that knows the fears of several teenagers. It’s obvious this was influenced by Stephen
King’s It and updated for the modern
digital age. Mr. Bedeviled is
Pennywise. He appears right before their
real fears manifest. There’s even one
with a fear of clowns and a red balloon appears. No points for subtlety! Once we know each character’s fear, there’s
really no suspense since we’re just waiting for them to succumb to it. Mr. Bedeviled looked pretty gnarly from a
distance or in shadow, but not so much up-close. This is best deleted from cinematic archives
like any unnecessary or unwanted app. 10/14/2017
Better Watch Out G
Better not cry, better not pout, I’m telling you why…here’s
a new holiday film actually worth watching.
It’s not quite A Christmas Story. It’s not quite Home Alone either despite referencing it. This isn’t exactly family-friendly. It’s marketed as a horror movie but I think
it’s simply just a dark holiday film involving unrequited love and a prank gone
too far. There’s violence too. My kind of film! As much as I adore family-friendly holiday
films, I can’t get enough of holiday horror or cheerless yuletide films in
general. Christmas usually evokes
festivities, warmth and mostly good cheer.
Merging blood and dark subject matter with that is a perfect combination
for those that enjoy some ‘bah humbug’ with their ‘to all a good night.’ If you haven’t seen a preview for the film,
don’t. It’s a bit of false
advertising. Also, and I might have to
do some research on this, I’m pretty sure the paint cans were empty in Home Alone. 10/12/2017
Captain
Underpants: The First Epic Movie G
I never read any of the books and there’s several from what
I’ve researched. Since this is titled The First Epic Movie, I’m assuming more
are in store. Bring ‘em on! I wouldn’t mind seeing more adventures with these
two prepubescent companions. This movie
was funny. It was also cute, oddly
creative and the best bromance I’ve seen in recent memory. The potty humor should please the little ones,
and any adult willing to let their inner child surface should have fun
too. The potty humor isn’t excessive
either; it’s almost sophisticated if that makes any sense. The overall message appeared to be that
laughter is the cure for anything. 10/16/2017
Certain Women OK/G
Three separate stories involving women (played by Laura
Dern, Michelle Williams and Kristen Stewart) living their menial lives in
Montana. I was reminded of Personal Velocity which is another film
involving three separate female-centric segments. Unlike that film which had no intersecting
tales, this film’s three parts are connected albeit minimally. It is a feminist film for sure considering it
shows only women struggling, is directed by a woman, and is based on short
stories by a female author. The first
two stories with Laura Dern and Michelle Williams are only so-so making me wonder
what made them so important, and why I should care, other than portraying a
general American slice-of-life. The
final one involving Kristen Stewart (the focus wasn’t primarily on her either)
was the best and makes me want to recommend the film based on that part
alone. She’s a secondary character to
the American Indian farm girl that develops a crush on her. It’s depressing but also the most realistic
depiction of unrequited love I’ve seen in quite a while. I’m sick of seeing gay characters in films
ending up with the one they happen to be attracted to. It gives us real gay people false hope; the
dating scene is very limited for us. I
believe the overall message was to show that no matter how hard these women’s
lives are, and no matter how unhappy they may be, they get by regardless. Something most people should be able to
relate to. 10/8/2017
Circus Kane OK
This got my attention because there was an evil clown on the
cover. I really hate when the movie
doesn’t feature that evil clown for a decent amount of time or at all. This one did and the evil clown doesn’t
necessarily disappoint. The film has
three parts in my opinion. Well, most
stories should structurally have three parts:
a beginning, middle and end. I critically
split it into three parts. The beginning
has the boring yet narratively necessary introductions. I enjoyed the middle part where our group of
people we met in the beginning enter a “house of horrors.” This is where we get to see some clown
violence and ample gore in general. How can
someone run straight into barb wire instead of under it like they did
initially, knowing full well it’s going to cut right through them? The third part got too commercial for me and
tonally shifted immensely, capping off with a twist more eye-rolling than
surprising. I’m giving it a reluctant OK
rating strictly for the decent middle portion.
I would’ve rather seen the characters go through a bigger haunted house
with the clown picking them off one-by-one using sharp weapons or deadly booby
traps, however cliché that may sound. 10/11/2017
Coffin OK
I saw that Coffin 2
just came out and somehow Coffin
bypassed my radar six years ago. I don’t
know about anyone else, but I can’t see a sequel before seeing the predecessor
regardless of relativity. An adulterous woman
and her lover are trapped in a coffin and her husband is given 75 minutes to be
told their location after doing some tasks.
Is this another Saw
copycat? Not quite. There’s a twist that negates the entire film
which would’ve been old even in 2011; 20 years ago it might’ve been clever. This film floats solely on the good
performances; that’s why I bothered watching the sequel right away. Well, aside from my OCD of course. 10/14/2017
Coffin 2 OK
This doesn’t quite have the same set-up as the first, but
what would’ve been the point of that?
Again, the performances are what made this film somewhat watchable. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve
thought Stephen King had a hand in the writing since he’s well-known for excellent
characterizations and the horror elements being secondary. Towards the end, the twists kept piling on
top of each other where I said ‘okay, enough’ more than once. In these post-Wild Things times, some twists just aren’t so fresh anymore. If Coffin
3 is ever made, I’m going to take everything with a grain of salt from the
start. Wild Things wasn’t so novel the second time and this series was DOA
the first time. 10/14/2017
Cult of Chucky G
Chucky. Charles Lee
Ray. That redheaded killer doll has been
a large part of my life. I became
fascinated ever since watching the first two sequels in elementary school. I was so amazed at how a doll was killing
people. These films inspired me at the
time to make movies sans cameras and want to write darker stories. I like all the movies in the series with Seed of Chucky being my least favorite
even though I still watch it whenever having a Chucky marathon. This film introduced a whole new concept
opening up another direction for this franchise to go. While not particularly fond of hospital-set
films, even mental hospital-set ones (I’m pretty sure there was a slight homage
to One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
involving one detail), this movie surprisingly had my attention. Gone is not Chucky’s wit; he can still make
me chuckle during serious situations.
There’s a decent amount of the red stuff too and I watched the rated
version. I didn’t want it to end when it
did and it was left open for yet another sequel. Bring on number 8 and so forth! Chucky will be my friend to the end. 10/3/2017
David Lynch: The Art Life OK
I am a fan of David Lynch.
I may not fully comprehend the intended meaning behind some of his
films, but that’s what makes him so appealing, the fact I can take what I want and
still enjoy them. I remember he once
said of all the analytical essays and reviews on Blue Velvet, not a single theory was correct yet people still think
of it as a masterpiece (me included). Much
like abstract works of art, his surreal films are open to the viewer’s
interpretation. Speaking of art, this is
titled The Art Life after all, this
documentary details Lynch’s formative pre-filmmaking years when he focused on
painting. Like the earliest filmmakers
with photographs, he one day wondered how his paintings would be if they moved
and had sound. If you’re not a fan, I
doubt you would be interested in seeing Lynch as a painter struggling to get by. I, being a fan of his movies, was only
marginally interested. Don’t get me
wrong, it was intriguing to know a little more about this enigmatic director,
but I would’ve rather seen a documentary on his film career spanning from Eraserhead all the way to the present
with some possible explanations from the man himself. Perhaps he wants to take all his secrets to
the grave? 10/14/2017
A Ghost Story G
This is literally a
ghost story. It’s not a horror
movie. It’s actually quite
depressing. Not depressing in the sense
you’ll need tissues to wipe your eyes, depressing in the sense being a ghost seems
very solitary. The ghost (played by
Casey Affleck) is simply presented in archetypal trick-or-treat garb as a white
sheet with two cut-holes for the eyes.
If no one can see him, why does he need to wear the sheet anyway? After he becomes the ghost, it appears he has
the choice to pass on to the next realm but instead chooses to return to his
home. He obviously has the ability to
travel from one place to another so why didn’t he follow his wife when she
left? Why did he decide to stay when
other people moved in? We’re given a
possible reason why at the end but I find it hard to believe that was the sole
excuse. He also has the ability to move
physical objects and, inexplicably, time travel. The film is largely dialogue-free with one
lengthy monologue adding to the harsh reality of our fleeting time on this
planet. This solemn film will likely
divide most viewers. It is a bit
arty. I wonder if David Lowery (the
director) was influenced by Gus Van Sant.
I understand the wife was grieving and he wanted to effectively convey
that, but I don’t think it was necessary to show us a real-time single-shot of
her scarfing down an entire pie. I
wonder if it was done in one take; otherwise Rooney Mara ate a lot of pie! In general, I can’t deny how hypnotically
poetic it was. It’s a strangely
appealing live-action picture book. 10/4/2017
Lowriders EH
There’s something fascinating about gang-affiliated material
in TV shows and movies since I’m watching from the safety of my own home. This movie isn’t about gangs though. How ignorant of me to assume a movie featuring
Mexicans in East L.A. involved gangs.
Well, the title alone is stereotypical, in and of itself, pertaining to
a part of Chicano culture even though that’s essentially what the movie
entails. Plus, they eat tacos too. This is pretty much an identity crisis tale
as one kid would rather do art (meaning graffiti all over town) instead of
“lowride” per his father’s wishes. In
the end, it’s really just a sappy family drama.
Booooooring! 10/3/2017
The Mummy OK
This Tom Cruise-starring update wasn’t as deplorable as I
anticipated. The mummified zombies
didn’t look too bad and some action sequences were impressive. There’s a worthy homage to An American Werewolf in London too. It still lacks the fun of Stephen Sommers’
1999 version. I don’t think the two are
even related; there’s a different mythology and plot attached to this one. Anyway, I felt the story was just getting
started when it ended and we’ll hopefully be presented with a grander sequel. Doubtful.
10/12/2017
Open Water 3: Cage Dive OK
I think the first mistake was making it appear as a second
sequel to Open Water. It was originally marketed solely as Cage Dive. Perhaps they wanted more exposure by
presenting it as part of a franchise? Or
perhaps they didn’t want expectations being too high for fear of being viewed
as another subpar shark attack film? It’s
a found footage film too. Boo! Perhaps that’s another reason for the added
title? It does bear similarities to Open Water and pretty much every other
lost-at-sea film with or without sharks.
Instead of being mistakenly left behind though, this time our
protagonists were in a cage while their boat was capsized by a massive
wave. I don’t know why it was originally
titled Cage Dive anyway since they
were only in the cage briefly. The film
was okay for what it’s worth. There’s
not too many original ways to make an effective shark attack movie anymore (I really
hope a filmmaker out there is saying, “Hold my beer.”). It was better than Open Water 2 which was also unrelated to the first with very
minimal shark appearances and more to do with people stranded at sea. I shouldn’t even compare to the first two in
the series since I didn’t expect this to be part of it. It’s less than 80 minutes too, so you won’t
waste too much time if you insist on watching, but I think you’d enjoy other
recent shark flicks (47 Meters Down, The Shallows) or even just the classics
(Jaws) more. 10/11/2017
The Poughkeepsie Tapes OK
This was released in 2007 but unavailable to rent until
now. Wonder what the hold-up was? It’s no more harrowing than anything else
released before or after. It’s presented
documentary-style with interviews and clips of the titular videos presenting
murders by a man from Poughkeepsie, New York.
This is nothing more than a mockumentary slasher film that gets fairly
repetitive watching grainy shots of just some of the killings. It might’ve been more effective if we got to
know this dude on a personal level.
That’s what made Henry: Portrait
of a Serial Killer so disturbing and simultaneously powerful. Even in 2007, the faux-documentary and ‘based
on a true story’ started becoming trite, so I don’t know why they felt
releasing it to a wider audience ten years later would make much of a
difference. 10/12/2017
2:22 EH
Rather stale film involving patterns and how some of us are
seemingly “connected.” You should figure
it all out before the characters do. The
only positive thing I can say is that they did a swell job of making Australia
look like New York City. 10/16/2017
Wakefield EH/OK
The first thing I’m going to do when someone goes missing is
check the attic or any other part of the house or surrounding area no one
thinks to look. It always baffles me
when someone is able to dwell in a house unnoticed for lengths of time in
movies. If I ever get a house I’m going
to make sure I can access every part of it, periodically check for intruders,
and investigate every time I hear a strange noise instead of brushing it off as
animals scurrying between the walls. Of
course I’ll be cautious about it since I don’t want to be that idiot
investigating strange noises like in the movies. Anyway, this film involves a suburban dad
played by Bryan Cranston spying on his family from the top of their parking
garage. Initially it starts off as a
prank before he eventually becomes a recluse.
At first, he enters his house while his wife and twin daughters are out,
eats the food and showers until deciding to live homeless by scouring dumpsters
for food. Apparently living in the suburbs
allows for ample pickings. Real homeless
people would be very angry if they watched this film. This guy had a house in a decent area, a job
and a family. It must be tough being a
straight, middle class guy. I guess no
one is ever truly happy. If all he
wanted was time apart from his boring life without his wife being suspicious,
I’m sure they could’ve worked something out if they communicated like couples
are supposed to do. I guess it’s always
easier said than done until you’re in the situation. I find it hard to believe no one ever saw him
on his excursions, other than two mentally challenged neighbors (cop-out in my
opinion), and no one, including authorities, ever thought to check every part
of the house in this day and age. Of
course he thought this all out in case such a thing were to happen, but I still
can’t believe he pulled it off for that long.
I’m assuming with the changing of seasons, it wasn’t even a year. Mr. Cranston is good and almost makes it
work, but similar to what he stated at one point about pondering how long he
can pull off his stunt before it gets old, I felt the same way about the film
in general. 10/8/2017
---Sean O.
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