I Like Moobies: 2019

Monday, December 23, 2019

I Spit on Your Grave: Deja Vu

-------------------------------------------------------------------

In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I Spit on Your Grave: Déjà Vu OK

This is a direct sequel to the original I Spit on Your Grave and has no connection to the remake or its two sequels (you can read my reviews for the original film, the remake, and both sequels in one of my other blogs at---https://vampireclown82-2.blogspot.com/2017/09/i-spit-on-my-blog.html). The director of the 1978 controversial cult classic, Meir Zarchi, also directed this sequel, so I expected it to be a little better than it was. For those that haven’t seen the original I Spit on Your Grave, basically a female writer temporarily leaves the city for the countryside, is brutally raped/assaulted by four local men, and gets revenge on all four after being left for dead. Said female writer, played by Camille Keaton in both films, wrote a book about her ordeal and now has a grown daughter. I’m assuming since there’s a 40-year gap between the movies that the same amount of time passed in the movie world, but I’m unsure because none of the characters look old enough to be returning ones and one of the characters has a cell phone. One character, claiming to be the father of one of the victims in the first film, wouldn’t have looked old enough to be the father if he was in the first film. Camille certainly aged (it’s been 40 years after all), but still doesn’t look bad for her age, and I don’t think her daughter in the film is at least 40 (unless she also looks good for her age). I guess I can overlook those questionable timeline/continuity issues (somewhat) and judge the movie on its primary merits…I guess. Keep in mind that this is a 148-minute movie, which I thought was a typo initially, but it actually didn’t seem like it despite not needing to be that long. And as much as I dislike both remakes and sequels (for the most part), I think I prefer sequels and like how this was one despite the four decade difference. Anyway, relatives of the aforementioned victims from the first film abduct Camille’s character and her daughter because now they want revenge. I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by saying something happens to both of them and the daughter then goes after the attackers one by one. If this was about an hour shorter, it could’ve very well been a remake as it sure felt like one when she was seeking vengeance like her mother did in the first film (hence the Déjà Vu in the title). One scene even tries to replicate the bathtub castration in a different location (not much for subtlety). It’s pretty much the same movie, only longer, not as disturbing (the scene in Irreversible is the only time I’ve seen something come close to rivaling the brutal depictions of the first film), and tonally different (generally). The rednecks may also be vile here, albeit not necessarily as creepy as the original group, going back to my ‘tonally different’ comment, just more irritating (almost making this sequel feel like a joke at times). There is still violence for those wondering and those expecting it, and I feel I’m being a bit too lenient with my rating, but I rated it so for fans of the first that’ll likely just be curious (or have OCD like me in regards to watching movies), even though it may be an unnecessary sequel that’s not as gritty (or disturbingly compelling) as its predecessor and likely a “watch once and never again” film. 12/17/2019

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Holiday Rush >>>EH/OK

(Netflix)

Light of My Life >>>OK/G

Lucky Day >>>EH

Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America! >>>OK/G

(Netflix)

Three Days of Christmas: Season One >>>OK

(Netflix; In Spanish with subtitles)

---Sean O.
12/23/2019

Monday, December 16, 2019

Black Christmas

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Black Christmas EH

I was very upset upon hearing this was the second (!) remake of Bob Clark’s seminal yuletide terror classic from 1974. I was also bummed upon hearing it was rated PG-13! Slasher movies can’t be PG-13! One of the reasons we slasher fans like slasher movies are for the kills (in addition to the characters being likable and the villain being noteworthy). I gave into seeing it (like always) because ‘tis the season and I needed a new holiday movie to watch. I also went during a bargain time and I have an AMC gift card (yes, even when I have a gift card I still like to spend the least amount possible; I want to see as many free movies as I can). I also watched the other two versions recently, so why stop? Aside from a few references to the original film that true fans will notice, this really wasn’t a remake. Essentially, any horror movie set around Christmastime could very well be called Black Christmas. I would’ve been all for it being a reimagining instead of a remake (it worked for Child’s Play) if only it were a better movie. It begins like a slasher movie, predictable at that, predictable in the sense they weren’t even trying. When all is said and done, it’s more of a college conspiracy film, kind of akin to The Skulls more than the other two films bearing the same title, or any slasher film for that matter. It’s also a message movie with a predominantly feminist slant. It just didn’t work for me, not as a slasher film, not as a college conspiracy film, and not as a message movie. My advice? Just watch or re-watch Bob Clark’s film that’s still good 45 years later. And if you’re feeling a bit extra festive, go ahead and watch the 2006 remake as well. Coming from someone with OCD, you really don’t need to include this version in your marathon. [You can read my reviews of the other two versions in one of my other blogs---https://vampireclown82-2.blogspot.com/2016/11/imdreaming-of-blackchristmas.html]. 12/14/2019

Bonus review:

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood EH

This is the 9^th film from Quentin Tarantino. Tenth if you count Kill Bill, volumes 1 and 2, as separate movies (I, and mostly everyone else, count them as one). Yes, I am a fan of Mr. Tarantino, the filmmaker who pretty much went to film school by working at a video store (those places were basically my education growing up). Let’s see, I am a fan of Reservoir Dogs but don’t love it (I do own a shirt though that I got real cheap, so I like it enough). I love Pulp Fiction (one of my favorite movies). I like Jackie Brown, but it definitely wasn’t one of his best (he also had 2 previous films to live up to). I am a fan of both volumes of Kill Bill, more so of the first volume. I liked Death Proof, his half of Grindhouse. Inglourious Basterds ended up being my favorite movie of the year it came out because I remember being engrossed the entire 2 ½ hours of mostly dialogue (something Quentin seems to excel at). Django Unchained was good but felt as long as it actually was. I did like The Hateful Eight, enough to make my ‘best of’ list that year, as it was an effective film using nonlinear techniques with several characters we got to know real well (both Tarantino-esque qualities as well). Well, like they say (or someone said, I can’t really remember where it originated), every good director is entitled to at least one flop. I’m not sure entitled is the correct word, but every good director is almost expected to make at least one flop, just like no musical artist is expected to have all good songs (even though, yes, everyone is different and tastes are subjective). Anyway, I hate to say that I didn’t like this 9^th (or 10^th) film from Mr. Tarantino. It was a big disappointment. It could be that it didn’t really feel like a Tarantino film as well. Much like the subject matter, it felt “too Hollywood” coming from a filmmaker of Quentin’s caliber. It involves Leonardo DiCaprio as a western actor in the Sixties and the films-within-the-film he performed in did nothing but bog down the film we as an audience were watching. I just didn’t see what was so compelling about watching him act as an actor in just parts of films-within-the-film. None of the dialogue-heavy scenes (something Quentin normally excels at as I’ve said) were particularly striking either. Oh, and the Manson family is involved too. I think I’ve seen enough films featuring the man and his “family,” a recent one being Charlie Says which I wasn’t particularly a fan of. I didn’t mind how Quentin rewrote some of history, many films based on fact are often fabricated anyway, and I enjoyed his signature use of violence utilized during that segment, but it wasn’t enough and was way too late to save the rest of the 161-minute feature. Quentin, here’s to hoping your next film, which I hope isn’t Star Trek-related as has been rumored, picks you back up again. I can momentarily forgive one misfire out of 9 (or 10) pictures. 12/14/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

An Elephant Sitting Still >>>OK/G

Hustlers >>>EH

Night Hunter >>>OK

A Score to Settle >>>EH

---Sean O.
12/16/2019

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

It: Chapter Two/Frozen II

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It: Chapter Two EH/OK

Technically this isn’t a sequel, just one-half of a remake, since this and part one (chapter one) are one long movie released separately. This chapter was 169 minutes, the first was 135, making it a little over 5 hours total. The original was 192 minutes (not only do I know that because of my movie run-time obsession, but I also confirmed it by researching). Of course I’m a big fan of the original It (which was actually a two-part TV movie). I did read the long-ass book by Stephen King too, but only remember specific parts. I did recommend the first part of this remake, mildly, but still thought it was way overrated (check out my review for it in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). I didn’t care too much for this second chapter. I absolutely had no problem with the adult cast of “The Loser Club” at all. I did have a problem with all the CGI (I honestly don’t think I’m ever going to give in to modern cinematic technology). I wasn’t a fan of any of the monstrosities (save for a giant statue---that was cool) and there came a time when I couldn’t wait for the movie to be over. There’s an air of predictability at times too. Since I’m a Stephen King completist (the man himself makes an appearance here, by the way), or film completist for that matter, I had to see this (and the first chapter) no matter what, as will any King completist since I don’t think your inner OCD will allow you not to (especially if you saw the first chapter). This is just another remake though (as a whole) that will never live up to the original (in my opinion), and I don’t care what anyone says, but Tim Curry will always be Pennywise over this slobbering, mostly-CGI, multi-rowed toothy villain! 12/10/2019

Frozen II OK

So here we are with round 2 of the Nordic-set Disney film featuring the two sisters, Anna and Elsa, a ginger and blonde, respectively; theatrically-released no less. I did like Frozen as did many young and old, and I’m sure there were many a parent sick to death of that Idina Menzel-performed song that became very much a part of pop culture. I’m admittedly a fan of it and there was even a worthy metal cover by a band called Betraying the Martyrs. Ironically, “Let it Go” is a song about letting go of the past while this sequel involves righting a past mistake. While the animation in this film looked great (no surprise considering the studio), I hate to say the story had the feel of an inferior direct-to-video sequel. I was only a fan of one of the many songs which still wasn’t as good as “Let it Go.” I know you shouldn’t compare to what came before, especially if what came before was a huge success, but shouldn’t any attempt always strive to be the best? I hate to say I also didn’t care much for Olaf this time, who I actually was a fan of last time (his presence was more annoying here). I hate to keep saying ‘I hate to say,’ but I hate to say I just wasn’t feeling it as much this time. I suggest just checking it out on video (meaning DVD/Blu-ray/streaming/whatever) as it has that direct-to-video feel, like I said. 12/9/2019

---Sean O.
12/11/2019

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Ready or Not

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ready or Not G

…here I come, you can’t hide. Gonna fiiiiiiiiind you and take it slowly…Sorry, had to get that Fugees song out of me as I instinctively sing a song internally or externally whenever its title and/or words are mentioned. The title is in reference to the first words uttered while playing the traditional game of hide and seek, which the newly wedded bride in this film is forced to play as an initiation into her new rich family. Tradition dictates the new in-law must compete from midnight to dawn on their wedding night in a game they (the new in-law) pick after inserting a card into a box. The bride soon realizes she needs to survive this game until dawn. Yes, her new family must kill her by dawn or something will supposedly happen to all of them. What a lovely family to move into, no? I don’t think I’m giving too much away since much of that was in the previews and can probably be read in any synopsis. It could’ve been much goofier given the premise and although there are bits of comic relief, this is generally serious in tone and a bit darker than you’d expect. There’s also a modicum of suspense and I don’t remember ever really being bored; it’s violent too when it wants to be. I won’t reveal whether the bride loses or if something actually does befall the family if she doesn’t, but let’s just say I wasn’t exactly disappointed with the outcome. It’s not great (it’s rare for films these days to be anyway) and probably not altogether fresh (also rare anymore), but I’m recommending it. 12/5/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Bunny Lake Is Missing >>>G

Indian Horse >>>G

Mary >>>EH

---Sean O.
12/5/2019

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made G

If you are a horror fan and read up on any kind of horror news, chances are you’ve heard of this film. If not, or you are not a horror fan, I’m glad to be the source you hear about it from (more so if you like it, of course). It begins and ends as a mockumentary regarding a faux film titled Antrum that “came out” in the late Seventies and why it was dubbed The Deadliest Film Ever Made. A curse was supposedly attached to the film itself that proved fatal for some of its viewers and we’re presented with a “found copy” of the film, thus making the bulk of this feature the movie itself involving a young brother and sister trying to enter Hell in order to get their recently deceased dog back. To get to Hell, they go into the woods to the exact spot where the devil was allegedly cast out of heaven and start digging. Now, when I heard this involved the devil and Hell, I was instantly curious. I don’t believe in Satan, mind you, I’m just fascinated with all the mythology surrounding it (being a horror nut, are you really surprised?). Put it this way, I’m not going to say there’s no Heaven or Hell (I lean more towards agnostic than atheist), but I won’t believe in any kind of afterlife or deity until I see it with my own eyes (yes, seeing is believing). Anyway, this film appeared to be Satanic at times, but I thought it was equally, if not more of, a backwoods horror flick in the vein of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and such. Fitting since it “came out” around the time such movies were popular and right before the Satanic Panic of the Eighties. There’s a demonic goathead contraption that reminded me very much of The Wicker Man, but I liked it better than either version’s figure and it could very well become iconic. The film itself also looks very much like it could’ve been made in the Seventies and had I come across it separated from this feature, I might’ve thought it actually came out during that time and isn’t too bad on its own. It is flawed for sure, like many of its actual ilk, but I was intrigued more often than not. 11/26/2019

Bonus reviews:

Klaus G

A new Netflix movie that’s animated and also a Christmas movie. I actually liked it too! I wish it was even better than it was, but I did not allow my inner Scrooge to get the better of me. The animation is generally crisp and exquisite; something rare these days unless coming from Disney or Pixar and such. It concerns a man forced by his father to go live on a remote island until he can stamp 6,000 letters at the post office, lest he’s permanently cut off. This dreary island (I forget the name of it) is freezing, contains two large families that have been at war with each other for centuries, and none of the children attend school. Do you think by the end the families will reconcile (at least some of them), the kids will be attending school, and the town will be more jubilant than it once was? Of course the answer is yes to all the above and you and I should know that, but that’s all beside the point, at least circumstantially. Apparently Christmas has always been around, but this movie charmingly portrayed how Santa Claus came to be the one delivering presents to good children on the holiday (bad children get a lump of you know what). There were no religious affiliations presented, making this completely about the secular aspects associated with Christmas (or, arguably, the pagan aspects as many don’t realize that that’s how the holiday began, allegedly). It was ultimately refreshing to see a new Christmas film, animated or not, that’s good and that the whole family can enjoy. I can sort of see this becoming a holiday classic and when the youth a couple generations from now talk about how much they like it and watch it annually, I’m going to be able to tell them I remember when it first aired (if I’m still alive, of course). 11/27/2019

The Shed OK/G

Starting off with a vampire attack in which the vampire itself looks like it stumbled off the set of Salem’s Lot (the 1979 version, mind you, even though I don’t have too many nitpickings with either that or the 2004 version), I thought I was going to love this movie. Well, as you can probably guess by my past-tense hints, I didn’t exactly love it. I definitely didn’t dislike it either. I liked the main character and the film’s simplistic attempts, but I don’t think it should’ve been as long as it was, or maybe even a feature-length film at all. It’s fairly standard for a while---someone wanders into or near the titular shed and they get attacked by the vampire that took shelter in it after being bitten by the aforementioned Salem’s Lot-ish vampire right before dawn (because you know what happens to vampires in the sunlight; at least ones that don’t sparkle). It does switch things up a bit by simultaneously being a teen movie with bullies and whatnot, and when the action moves into the house at the end and our protagonist has more than the “shed vamp” to contend with. Much like the aforementioned Stephen King-adapted vampire tale (I’m mainly referring to the 1979 version), this wasn’t one of the best vampire films I’ve seen, but it’s absolutely still watchable. 11/27/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Cold Blood >>>EH/OK

Don’t Let Go >>>OK/G

Hounds of Love >>>OK

The Irishman >>>EH

(Netflix)

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum >>>OK

---Sean O.
11/30/2019

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Haunt/Good Boys

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Haunt OK/G

Extreme haunted houses. What a concept. A group of people go to one of these very places, sign liability papers before entering, and eventually learn they appear to be in very real danger. You might be reminded of The Houses October Built and its sequel among other things, but this movie and those have their differences. Haunted houses are fun, at least they’re supposed to be, and (appropriately) tend to be the most enjoyable around the Halloween season (as many of these attractions are ran). This movie was fun (for the most part; violent at times too) and there’s a clever twist (sort of) a little after midway that I didn’t see coming, but I wish we could’ve learned a bit more. [POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD] Who exactly were the ones running this haunted house? Where were they from? What was their ultimate motive? I also (personally) think it would’ve been better (situationally) if good didn’t prevail over evil as generally expected in horror movies. 11/20/2019

Good Boys G

To be young again. Like the 12-year-olds in this film. The insecurities. Puberty. Social statuses. The foul language used before knowing the true meanings. I can recall kids using language they had no business saying and watching movies they were arguably too young for as early as second grade. South Park has been largely successful in portraying how kids really are and I remember reading that that was their (Matt Stone and Trey Parker) intention. This film doesn’t quite have the feel of South Park though, more like Superbad involving younger characters (ironically, some of the same people were involved with both movies). It is very much rated R and contains quite a bit of adult content which basically makes the target audience unaligned with the main characters, so I’ll let all you parents/guardians decide if your children (specifically pre-teen) should watch this (even though the majority of them probably act like these kids anyway). I thought it had some laugh-out-loud moments and I liked the rapport amongst the three primary boys. It’s far from great, that’s why it’s called Good Boys and not Great Boys, and part of me feels I’m being a teeny tiny bit generous with my rating, but it was a decent amount of fun to recommend and, to reiterate, generally shows how young people really act as opposed to many sugarcoated films/TV shows. 11/19/2019

Bonus review:

Polaroid B

An old camera is used to take pictures of people. Said people in said pictures end up dying because of a curse attached to said camera. The concept sounds awfully derivative, but one story I was reminded of the most was Say Cheese and Die! (a Goosebumps book with an adapted television episode). This is nothing like that R.L. Stine story though. You’d actually be better off reading that book and watching the episode (if you haven’t already) instead of wasting any time with this unscary formulaic lamefest. Luckily I used a free Redbox code and time was the only thing I wasted. I suggest you don’t waste either and use a free code for a different movie. 11/19/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

American Woman >>>OK/G

Bloodline >>>OK

Cabin 28 >>>EH/OK

Charlie Says >>>EH/OK

Corporate Animals >>>OK

Earthquake Bird >>>EH/OK

(Netflix)

The Kitchen >>>EH/OK

Let It Snow >>>OK

(Netflix)

We Die Young >>>OK

---Sean O.
11/24/2019

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Morbid Stories/The Lion King

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Morbid Stories OK

Social media is nice sometimes. Like in this case where I was sent a direct message from one of the writers/producers of this film asking if I would watch and review the movie. I was given a link with a code to watch for free, but you can also watch it for free if you have an Amazon Prime account (see link below). Filmmakers, let it be known I will gladly watch your movie, review it, and spread the word as much as I can. And I’m pretty much game if it’s a horror movie and/or an anthology film like this one. Now, as for whether I like it or not…I always inform anyone that I will review the film as long as they don’t mind me being honest. I am very picky with modern films and don’t want to come off as fake or somewhat condescending by saying I like a movie simply because I know those involved or whatever. Also, I give all filmmakers and all other crew members credit just for making a film (even if they completely suck) since I’ve been behind the scenes and know how arduous and disorganized the whole process can be. Like one of my film production teachers in college once said though, “content is key,” and the content is what I and everyone else is going to judge the final product on. That being said, what did I think of this anthology film involving a vampire/zombie epidemic across all of America? It is obviously low-budget and largely unoriginal, but it wasn’t the worst horror anthology that I’ve seen (or movie for that matter), but it was also no Creepshow/Creepshow 2, Trick ‘r Treat, Tales from the Hood, etc. It takes place in several states, the wraparound in California according to a license plate (although I would’ve guessed a southwest region like Arizona) where we hear about the aforementioned epidemic on the radio a young woman is listening to after a recent break-up. The first story takes place in New York, involves vampires, and is rather lame (in execution and story). The second one also takes place in California, involves a Ouija board, and finishes rather disappointingly after a somewhat decent buildup. The third and fourth were my faves of the bunch. The third takes place in Delaware at a rental home where a writer faces off against something in the attic. It is the most suspenseful entry despite not exactly being fresh when all is said and done. The fourth was an interesting one taking place in Florida where a girl tries repressing her recent vampiric tendencies to mostly no avail. It’s also the first time I’ve seen what happens when a vampire is bitten by a zombie, but not vice versa. Like I said, it isn’t the best horror anthology film I’ve seen, but you might disagree, so why not support an independent film crew by at least watching this and then spreading the word for potential fans. 11/4/2019

Check out the trailer here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBuiElyFKug&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR1ytTQ5owg4d9ZGE4f0QTfOonvZaKREbvQX-xp0-AlorXLcfAoneC5FBio

Check out the IMDb page here:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10182228/?fbclid=IwAR3AIEUs5R2r4VturucGN6EecIXMwbxnjqak4aFy863X5eWm0mWKUvVb90Q

Check out the movie itself for free on Amazon Prime here (account needed):

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZHMSQDT/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=morbid%20stories%20courtney%20akbar&qid=1571877468&s=movies-tv&sr=1-1&fbclid=IwAR35bbpUrN7kUG1bMBPLt8ZGNVFxn4RVjYcN2Drjlm-2i6v37DRvg7-V1Ro

The Lion King EH

Much like the latest Aladdin film, this update is pretty much a shot-for-shot live-action remake of the original animated version. If we know everything that’s going to happen, why exactly do we need to see the same exact movie in live-action if there was absolutely nothing wrong with the cartoons to being with? Now, this film wasn’t exactly live-action like Aladdin was, I forget what the process was here, but it all looked real enough and that’s about the only plus I can say about it. I disliked this movie, immensely. The musical sequences were actually worsened here, lacking all the vibrancy of the original. All this and the Aladdin remake made me want to do was watch the originals. Aladdin wasn’t as bad, but it was still kind of unnecessary. This was unnecessary as in bottom of the totem pole unnecessary. There is absolutely no reason for kids or anyone else to see this film when the original animated film still exists. [If you’re going to remake a movie at all, although I say don’t at all, why not re-imagine it instead? That’s why the new Child’s Play worked (as much as I hated the idea of it from the get-go) since it bore no resemblance to the original film at all other than the title and character names]. The Lion King isn’t even one of my favorite animated Disney movies (mini-confession), but I still undoubtedly like it and this film just made me appreciate it even more. 11/5/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Godzilla: King of the Monsters >>>OK

The Groves >>>OK/G

(short film; available on YouTube)

Holiday in the Wild >>>EH/OK

(Netflix)

1984 (1984) >>>B

Them That Follow >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
11/5/2019

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Eli/Trick/Candy Corn

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Eli G/VG

Netflix film about a boy named Eli taken to a facility that promises to cure him of a condition preventing him from being outside. This treatment facility located away from civilization (aren’t they all?) obviously houses something sinister. Before we are given the reason behind this shady organization, this is a fairly standard supernatural movie yet still somewhat atmospheric enough to make me want to keep watching. The big reveal, once revealed, made this a much better movie. At least I thought so. [POTENTIAL SPOILER] This could very well be this generation’s Omen. 10/29/2019

Trick OK/G

The set-up is simple: Someone wearing a Halloween mask slaughters some people at a party in 2015 and similar things happen every year up to 2019 in the same general New York area. Is it the same guy who appeared to be killed the first night? (Horror 101---there’s always a chance the villain survives no matter what’s done to them). Is it a ghost? A copycat? This film that’s longer than necessary is 100% style with very little substance and a slight twist towards the end. There’s gore aplenty, not nauseating but more in the fun slasher sense, so this will likely only appeal to gorehounds and/or those that enjoy plotless horror films. It takes place on Halloween too, so ‘tis the season! 10/29/2019

Candy Corn OK

Candy corn. That flavorless candy synonymous with the Halloween season no one really likes but will eat addictively if right in front of them (at least I’m guilty). The candy is featured in this film, but the generic plot involves a typical revenge scenario in which a somehow resurrected man takes vengeance on a group of local small-town folks responsible for his “accidental” demise. Now, I might’ve been okay with that unoriginal plotline as it’s very hard to be original these days, but this is one of those movies with so much potential that made me think how I would’ve made it better (I hate when that happens). Director Josh Hasty definitely has his heart in the right place (in regards to genre) and even managed to grab a few genre faces like “Malachai” from the original Children of the Corn (Courtney Gains), P.J. Soles (the original Halloween and Carrie, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School), and “Candyman” himself (Tony Todd). The film has that cozy, pre-millennial feel (particularly the Eighties and early Nineties) set around Halloween as well, and the killer’s mask was definitely worthy. Where I would’ve done things differently were the kills themselves. Save for a double limb removal, I wasn’t really impressed with any of the murders; the gore or in their execution. The killer used his bare hands for one thing; I would’ve given him some sharp weapons (or any weapons really) to use as that is what many of us horror fans, if not all, like to see. When I watch a slasher film, I want to be impressed with the kills in addition to everything else (the performances, the cinematography, the locations, etc.), and if at least a good portion of them don’t work, the film as a whole doesn’t, unfortunately. 10/29/2019

Bonus reviews:

Rattlesnake OK

It might not be a good idea taking a detour due to traffic lest you end up in a Texas desert with a flat tire. Especially if you have a young child that wanders off into said desert while you’re fixing said flat tire. Especially in a movie called Rattlesnake, because they’ll likely come across the titular reptile and get bitten. That all happens in just the beginning of this “sell your soul to the devil” Netflix film. Many people, if not all, say they’ll do anything for their children, even kill. Many just say the kill part hypothetically, never expecting (or hoping) to actually be in the situation like the mother in this film that’s informed she must take a life (within a certain time) in order to save her daughter. She comes across ghosts that were in the same situation in the same region, so she knows this is what she must very much do. Who should she kill though? A dying patient? An abusive husband? This thriller was just okay (as my rating implicates) since I felt I’ve seen these stories several times before and it didn’t get as dark as it could have. 10/29/2019

Tone-Deaf OK/G

This begins somewhat like a “chick flick” before becoming a Psycho-esque slasher film. It does play around with horror conventions quite a bit and one may think it’s a spoof for doing so, but it generally feels like a serious horror film aside from when Robert Patrick (you know his face more than his name---Terminator 2, The Faculty, etc.) occasionally breaks the fourth wall. Those few instances made me take the film less seriously, but I mostly had fun with this. 10/29/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Booksmart >>>EH

Burn >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
10/30/2019

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Zombieland: Double Tap

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Zombieland: Double Tap G

I am a fan of Zombieland, back when it was released in 2009 and now. It was released before zombies basically became trendy with The Walking Dead and Z Nation among others, but zombies were old hat even by 2009; Zombieland is one of the ones that stood out though, even becoming somewhat legendary within just ten years. There have been talks of a sequel for a while now, plus a TV show that didn’t work out, and while this obviously isn’t as good as the first one (the majority of sequels aren’t, even if they’re still worthy), nor did I expect it to be, I still enjoyed it enough to recommend it. [I do want to watch it again, mainly because I had to pee a little more than halfway through and I never want to miss a single second of a movie (especially in the theater; that’s the main plus about watching at home---the pause button), so I subconsciously wished it would quickly be over while simultaneously enjoying it as much as I could despite how uncomfortable I was gradually becoming. It sucks getting older.] The main cast of characters really haven’t changed since the first go-round, so whether you liked or hated them before, you should still feel the same way about them. Other characters are added too, of course (I actually thought the stereotypical blonde was more funny than annoying). There’s a mid- and post-credits sequence involving a famous face from the first film (you probably know who I’m talking about, and the name does appear in the credits if you research) that I actually thought was rather idiotic, embarrassingly so, instead of even remotely funny, so you decide if you want to watch the credits (I always do ever since Napoleon Dynamite). Anyway, if the director, Ruben Fleischer, decides to make a third film in another ten years, I’ll definitely tune in but still won’t likely think it’s better than, or at least equal to, the first. Prove me wrong though, Ruben; or I’ll at least settle for it being better than this one, which was still a decent follow-up. 10/19/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Beach House (2018) >>>OK

Blood Cult >>>EH/OK

Demon (2016) >>>OK

Ghost Shark >>>OK

I Am Not a Witch >>>G

Revenge (1986) >>>EH/OK

(sequel to Blood Cult)

Shazam! >>>OK

---Sean O.
10/23/2019

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

3 From Hell

-------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------

3 From Hell OK/G

For those that don’t know, this is the third film in Rob Zombie’s “Firefly Family” franchise that began with House of 1000 Corpses and followed with The Devil’s Rejects. I am a fan of both those films, more so of the latter, but the ending of The Devil’s Rejects is no longer as disturbingly poignant as it once was now that we know they survived (I don’t think I’m spoiling anything since the only ones likely interested in seeing this have probably seen the preceding entries, and you’ve had 14 years to see The Devil’s Rejects). This may have been an unnecessary sequel (I hate to say) and the “witty” remarks by our villainous protagonists are largely puerile and ineffective by now, but there’s still a certain kind of appeal that made me want to keep watching. That appeal will likely only apply to fans of the first two films though, namely The Devil’s Rejects as the style here very much reflects that gritty world over the more colorful (yet no less grim) one in House of 1000 Corpses. It is more of an action (than horror) movie too that could’ve been directed by Quentin Tarantino or Sam Peckinpah or the like, but does still contain enough of Mr. Zombie’s signature violence. All I’ll say is, if you liked House and Rejects even a bit more than remotely, watch this (as you likely will anyway) but don’t keep your expectations too high. I really hope Rob doesn’t plan on making a fourth one either (this one wasn’t even originally supposed to happen) since I believe the Firefly clan had enough time in the spotlight. R.I.P. Sid Haig. 10/16/2019

Bonus review:

Body at Brighton Rock OK/G

You might be reminded of Backcountry (ironically that word is mentioned in the beginning) although the two films really aren’t that much alike. The promo art shows a menacing bear towering above a girl, the park rangers in this film are warned about bears and mountain lions, and there are claw marks on some trees, so I think it was pretty much apparent there would be a bear encounter at some point. I hate to disappoint anyone (or to make you avoid disappointment), but the bear attack doesn’t happen until the very end and is nowhere near as brutal as the one in Backcountry. Instead, this is more of a survival story/psychological thriller that should be more appreciated as such. There is a twist at the end, not novel at all, but I wasn’t expecting it here and that’s probably because I was more focused on that anticipated animal attack. This isn’t a bad movie at all, it’s actually a pretty decent one; just go in expecting a psychological thriller (as I’ve said) with some beautiful scenery and you might think the bear attack at the end is the final reward. P.S. Check out Backcountry too if you haven’t already. 10/16/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Fractured >>>OK

(Netflix)

Mayday >>>EH

The Ninth Passenger >>>OK

Purgatory Road >>>OK

---Sean O.
10/16/2019

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Midsommar/In the Tall Grass

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Midsommar OK/G

The director, Ari Aster, was also behind last year’s Hereditary which I thought was overrated but still didn’t dislike it (you can read my review for it in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com; click on January under 2019). I didn’t dislike this either. For the most part. It is almost 2 ½ hours and certainly feels so, so you definitely need patience. Knowing it was marketed as a horror movie, I knew something sinister was behind this outwardly peaceful Swedish cult community, as should anyone that’s seen similar movies. Some of it is predictable as well (again, if you’ve seen movies before it will be). Aside from needing the aforementioned patience though, the film generally had my attention until it got too bizarre towards the end (never thought I’d say that). The conclusion appeared to be weird just for the sake of being weird and instead of making me think back to prior events, it just made me want to read Wikipedia’s synopsis to see if I missed something (which I did do and it did provide some info that I failed to pick up while watching). Perhaps it was too much to take in the first time? It’s happened before so perhaps. Ari Aster definitely knows how to make movies with an apparent love for the horror genre, but perhaps his next film will be his crowning achievement in my opinion? Perhaps. 10/9/2019

In the Tall Grass OK/G

An adapted film based on a short story by Stephen King available on Netflix? I had to see it. I never read the short story which he co-authored with his son, Joe Hill, but that’s about to change since a collection containing it (Full Throttle) recently became available at my local library. Initially it was only available in e-book format and I haven’t given in to the modern way of reading as long as the print versions are still available (I’m old-fashioned that way), or I wait until they are in cases like this. Anyway, this adaptation was directed by the guy behind Cube and the same concept is very much apparent here---a group of people are stuck somewhere (here, tall grass) with no easy way out (initially). You’ll likely be reminded of Children of the Corn as well (at least I was), although there’s tall grass instead of corn and no murderous kids. I originally thought it was going to be lame with just a few characters stuck in this very limited and confined setting (the action exits the tall grass for a bit, but takes place in it roughly 80% of the time), but it does get a bit bizarre (we are in King territory after all and the apple doesn’t stray too far from the tree either). There are no direct answers when all is said and done, but there is closure (sort of) and I took a little something from it. I still think there’s more to this world than what we were presented with though. Perhaps the short story will provide more information? It may not be the greatest King-based film I’ve seen, and there’s many fitting that list, but it’s still decent enough to check out as I would imagine fans are apt to do anyway. 10/6/2019

Bonus review:

Creeped Out: Season Two OK

Being a fan of the first season of this modern Are You Afraid of the Dark? (not the new series either), meaning a horror anthology series geared more towards the younger crowd, I hate to say this second season wasn’t as impressive (read my review of the first season in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com; click on January under 2019). That still doesn’t mean I don’t look forward to watching anthology films/shows and won’t ever stop watching them. Roxanne Benjamin put it best in regards to horror anthologies in a recent Fangoria article in that “there’s a first act and a third act, and there’s not really a second act.” In other words, all the filler is eradicated from these stories that wouldn’t last a feature film; it seems some feature films should take that approach though as well. Anyway, this season had 10 episodes instead of 13 like the previous season (technically 12 since one was a two-parter), all under a half-hour. The best of the bunch this time include a revenge tale utilizing an Irreversible approach (“Tilly Bone”), a Chopping Mall-ish one involving a mechanical Santa (“Splinta Claws”), a Black Mirror-ish episode involving modern technology that dangerously controls everything in our lives (“Help”), and one that might appall those with any kind of entomophobia (“Itchy”) which actually had a clever resolution before the inevitable cliffhanger. Some of the segments were just okay, including a Twilight Zone-ish tale involving parallel dimensions at a hotel (“The Many Place”), a progressive yet standard “be careful what you wish for” story with an ironic twist ending (“The Takedown”), and one that’s a blatant Breakfast Club rip-off with a demon added (“The Unfortunate Five”). And, of course, there were some less than okay entries---an evil baby tale where the adults obviously don’t believe the older sibling (“Only Child”), one involving a dangerous app (“No Filter”), and one where playing video games somehow enables one kid to travel ahead in time (“One More Minute”). Again, I wasn’t so crazy about this season as much as last; none were exactly spectacular (“Itchy” being my personal favorite though) and none were entirely detestable, but I still expected them to be better as a whole. As I also stated, I still anticipate watching horror anthologies (film and TV) and generally enjoy when I do watch them. That being said, I will watch any more seasons they decide to make with this series; I just hope there’re better pickings next time. 10/9/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Fanatic >>>B/EH

Slaughterhouse Rulez >>>EH/OK

The Standoff at Sparrow Creek >>>OK

---Sean O.
10/10/2019