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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated
1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going
to review every single movie I see. I’m
going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the
rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings
for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses
under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Critters: A New Binge OK/G
Critters. The franchise featuring those furry little
aliens with rows of sharp teeth spanning four films from 1986 to 1992. While it may not be the best franchise out
there, it’s still enjoyable and better than other franchises like Ghoulies and maybe even Gremlins considering there were only two
and the second one wasn’t that great. I
am a fan of Critters; it’s a fun
‘80’s sci-fi romp. Critters 2: The Main Course
naturally wasn’t as good but definitely a worthy follow-up. Critters
3 was decent for a threequel but obviously didn’t hold a candle to the
first two (Leonardo DiCaprio’s first film too for those unaware). Critters
4 was, well…my least favorite of the series (the longest one too!) and not
because it was set in space. If I can
say anything positive about it, it wasn’t the worst movie I’ve seen, nor the worst
space-set movie I’ve seen. In other
words, I like the films best in chronological order. One thing I do love about the franchise, the
creatures in particular, which is indicative of the time they were released, is
the practical designs. With all the CGI
crap out there now, it always elates me to watch older films (or even modern ones)
with practical effects/creatures. I
absolutely do not hate the creatures, especially in the first two, and no
surprise given the legendary Chiodo Brothers (Killer Klowns from Outer Space) were behind them (all four films). Anyway, this new series available on Shudder
consists of 8 scant episodes totaling roughly 74 minutes, making the longest
one 11 minutes. I understand that format
may work for those with short attention spans and someone that may want to
catch an episode during their paid break, but why couldn’t they just make it a
74-minute movie? Aside from that
questionable presentation, the content itself was more or less the same way I
felt about Critters 3---it was a
decent addition to the franchise but not something I’d rave about. That’s not to say it wasn’t fun, it was, plus
there’re a few bloody moments and the episodes unsurprisingly whiz by; there’s
also a clever yet idiosyncratic twist I never would’ve expected (which may
kickstart a whole new storyline given another sequel was suggested at the end). Thankfully this wasn’t a remake either (an
unfortunate commonality these days) despite containing a direct homage to Critters 2. At least the creatures are practical too (a
rarity these days) despite looking different, no surprise considering the
Chiodo Brothers weren’t involved, but some of the splatter effects were obviously
digital. I also didn’t care for the Critters
being given more characterization this time, although it may have been
necessary in regards to that aforementioned twist. This is very much only for Critters fans not expecting much from this
type of fare to begin with, but you don’t necessarily have to see the films
before watching this even though I suggest you do so your expectations aren’t
that high and you may appreciate the older entries more. 4/22/2019
Bonus review:
Escape Room OK/G
I think the very notion of an Escape Room has been worn out
already. There’s been at least one other
movie with the same title and concept released within the past year (check out
my review for it in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com), and I’m
tired of hearing about the real ones that seem to be popping up every which
way. No, I’ve never been in one and
don’t really have a desire to. I have no
patience and I’m not too good at figuring out riddles under pressure (I’d need
ample time alone since my brain always has several tabs open at once), but my
Mom brought it up recently so I have a feeling I might partake in one
eventually. Anyway, this new film about
a group of six people partaking in a deadly Escape Room actually wasn’t bad and
generally had my attention. It’s kind of
like a Saw film but not quite, maybe more like Cube
from what I recall, although this was probably more elaborate. It does, however, get a bit conventional
towards the end and I was kind of hoping for a revelation I anticipated may
have happened but didn’t. All in all
though, you could do much worse. 4/23/2019
Other
movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):
Between Worlds >>>EH/OK
Capernaum >>>G/VG
Destroyer >>>OK
Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror >>>OK/G
Nancy Drew and the
Hidden Staircase >>>OK
The Night Before
Halloween >>>B
The Quake >>>EH/OK
Show Pieces >>>OK
The Sisterhood of
Night >>>EH/OK
The Vanishing (2019) >>>OK
---Sean O.
4/24/2019
