I Like Moobies: September 2021

Thursday, September 30, 2021

Midnight Mass

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Midnight Mass OK/G

New limited series available on Netflix consisting of seven episodes totaling roughly seven hours (yes, each one is around the hour mark, give or take). It was created by Mike Flanagan, who also gave us The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor, as well as films like Ouija: Origin of Evil, Gerald’s Game, and Doctor Sleep. I was disappointed with Hill House because I expected straight-up horror, but it was equally a drama and I didn’t think the combination worked (you can read my review for it here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/11/mooby-reviews-11718.html). I did like Bly Manor a bit better because I knew to expect more of a gothic romance going in (you can read my review for that here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/10/the-haunting-of-bly-manor.html). I expected this to be a horror series and, while it does contain horror elements scattered here and there, it doesn’t truly show its horror self until the end of the sixth episode into the last one. Part of me thinks it was worth the wait, but the other part of me didn’t think it needed to occur so far into the series (prepare to be patient during the first couple episodes). I think this could’ve sufficed as a 3-hour feature, give or take. There are too many lengthy scenes of dialogue, and not in the compelling Quentin Tarantino or (pre-Jersey Girl) Kevin Smith kind of way, but more in the “let’s get this wrapped up” kind of way. As much as it dragged at times though, I did want to continue, and that might be because I sensed something horrific was always right around the corner and that it was only seven episodes. It’s a vampire story, at least set up like one (the v-word is never mentioned), that takes place on an isolated island of people where religion appears to be a commonality. I was really hoping it would make organized religion look bad, and it sort of does, but that could be a topic up for debate. Cons aside, I think it’s a limited series worth checking out, although it definitely could’ve been condensed. 9/26/2021

Bonus review:

Witches of Blackwood OK

This film comes from Australia and you’ll recognize the one chick from the continent’s Wolf Creek as the protagonist. She plays a police officer that travels back to the small town (Blackwood maybe?) she grew up in and something is clearly not right about this place---there aren’t too many people and the majority of those that are around are women that look ghostly (witches maybe?). I was really hoping I could add this to the list of good witch movies considering there aren’t too many of the horror variety (the original Suspiria is probably the best one, The Craft is decent, and so is The Autopsy of Jane Doe and The Lords of Salem; The Witch was just okay, definitely overrated; I don’t count movies that may feature witches either, like Sleepy Hollow). It had the potential to be something good too (not just okay); I mean, there’s atmosphere and it’s well-shot, but it also had the feel of a direct-to-video B-movie at times (that’s not a compliment here). I didn’t feel as if there was enough meat on its bones either, meaning style far outweighed its substance, and the ending was a bit too upbeat for a movie that generally felt downbeat. It is barely 80-minutes and perhaps that’s why it felt like there wasn’t enough meat on it, but, then again, it felt longer than it actually was, so I don’t know. Someone make a good witch horror movie I can rave about! At least they went with the far better title considering an alternate one was The Unlit! 9/24/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Day 13 >>>EH

No One Gets Out Alive >>>EH

(Netflix)

Sacrifice (2021) >>>OK/G

Sacrilege (2021) >>>EH

Zola >>>EH

---Sean O.

9/30/2021

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Bad Candy

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Bad Candy OK/G

New horror anthology film just in time for the Halloween season. It takes place on Halloween night in a town called New Salem and the wraparound segment features Corey Taylor (singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour) and Zach Galligan (Gremlins, Gremlins 2, Hatchet III, etc.) as radio hosts spinning the tales we’re presented with. They’re all interconnected, at least they feature people in this town, and a clown (pretty gnarly too) makes an appearance in each one. I think that clown needs its own movie; I mean, it turned people into dolls…how pumpkinfucking cool is that?! The tales include a girl that can create monsters just by drawing them, a man putting certain things in candy (“Always check your candy,” as the age-old saying goes), a woman doing something unethical at work, a haunted house that somehow merges the past and present, and a group of men that capture and put people through an ordeal; there are at least two other ones too. This film wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad either; it’s not quite like Trick ‘r Treat, but that clown (the credits indicated its name might’ve been Bad Candy?) just might give Sam a run for his money (might, I said). In all fairness, I didn’t love Trick ‘r Treat until the second or third viewing, so this might get better with age. I’ll probably watch it again, just not this year, and I’ll recommend it (at least once) for those that like horror movies, anthology films, and Halloween, and even clowns, especially if you desire something new to check out this holiday season. 9/20/2021

Bonus review:

Aquarium of the Dead OK

Undead sea creatures. Yes…they include sharks, dolphins, crabs, an octopus, starfish (uh-huh), and gators. [I don’t remember ever seeing alligators or crocodiles in an aquarium, but I haven’t been to every aquarium in the world either. I have seen hippos at one though]. You will, of course, learn why these creatures became zombies. The creature designs aren’t the greatest, but I’ve seen worse. I wouldn’t tell you to see this right away, or even at all, but it’s really not as bad as I thought it would be; I’ve seen worse. The majority of characters make it somewhat worth watching. 9/21/2021

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Every Breath You Take >>>EH

The Gateway (2021) >>>EH

Intrusion (2021) >>>EH/OK

(Netflix)

Reservation Dogs (Season One) >>>OK/G

(Hulu; 8 episodes)

Wild Indian >>>OK

The World to Come >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

9/23/2021

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Mare of Easttown/The Retreat

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Mare of Easttown OK/G

I finally got around to seeing this HBO limited series consisting of seven episodes all ranging around the hour mark, meaning it’s roughly a total of seven hours. I heard so many good things about it, but that never makes me want to check something out since there are lots of critically-acclaimed shows and movies I have no interest in; this is a series I actually did want to check out though. Mare is a detective played by Kate Winslet, Easttown is the small town in Pennsylvania which she resides. A murder of a teenage girl spawns an investigation, in addition to Mare grappling with personal issues as well as a missing case involving another teenage girl gone a year prior. Mare doesn’t exactly have the most glamorous life, as you can imagine. What detective, real or fictional, truly would though? I don’t even expect visual entertainment to be original anymore, although when something is original and successful, great, but it is very hard to be entirely fresh in any art form these days. If I enjoy something though, and it is unoriginal, it works for me; and I believe I may have said it before, but characterizations are always a huge factor in making a story work. Having said that, this miniseries isn’t original at all; it is no different than many other detective/murder mystery features. Let’s see…there’s a small town, this small town contains people with secrets, everyone is a potential suspect, there are several red herrings, and there’s more than one revelation at the end. Yes, it may not be original (show me something that truly is these days), but it is generally watchable, we do get to know the majority of characters enough, and there are no loose ends when it’s over. Some parts do drag (less than more though) and it may not be as dark as the first season of True Detective, nor as compelling, but this is a decent murder mystery for those looking to watch something new in that genre (I am glad I was able to binge it instead of waiting every week as you’ll be able to as well via DVD or streaming---it’s currently available in both form). 9/17/2021

The Retreat OK/G

[SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW]

Wow, an LGBT movie that wasn’t half bad (I’m personally not a fan of too many LGBT films because they’re often fabricated and stereotypical). Well, foremost it is a horror film of the survivalist/backwoods variety that features gay characters. A lesbian couple, non-stereotypical at that, head to a cabin in the woods away from the city and this cabin (or retreat) is allegedly a gay B&B. I must’ve missed a location for this cabin and/or city, but it was filmed in Canada (you and I should both know that doesn’t mean it took place there). I hate to stereotype, but something tells me it took place somewhere in the American South (I could be wrong though). Anyway, something is clearly not right when they reach this cabin---another gay couple, males, were supposed to meet them there (we see something happen to them in the beginning), but all that’s present is their car and belongings in the house and the cabin is unlocked. It isn’t long before these girls are hunted in the woods by a masked gunman. You see, these are a group of people that capture homosexuals and film them being murdered in what they dub “the culling;” they have followers that watch online as if it were a reality show (talk about the dark web). This did, at once, feel like a typical backwoods horror flick, but its strong homophobic subtext does make it a bit more distinctive (and darker) than its ilk. There’s a bit of atmosphere to it too. Some of the violence is worthy, particularly when our protagonists get revenge on their bigoted capturers. I, being of the LGBT community, wouldn’t say this film is cathartic because I know it’s just a movie and thankfully haven’t been through a similar ordeal (and hope I never will). It might be for some though, especially since there are still homophobes out there (I hope not as extreme as these villains though, but I wouldn’t doubt it, even in 2021) and the gays do win. Even if I did spoil pretty much the entire feature, I think those that may be interested would still enjoy it. I can’t ultimately overlook its aforementioned familiarity (read: clichés), but it’s not a bad film and better than many modern ones of its type and, no, not just because it features members of a group I’m part of. Like I said, this is a horror movie first. 9/15/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Apartment 413 >>>EH

The Last Laugh (2020) >>>EH

Murder in the Woods >>>OK

Nightbooks >>>OK/G

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

9/18/2021

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Benny Loves You

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Benny Loves You EH

I was interested in this film the minute I heard it involved a killer toy. I hate when movies end up not being as good as you anticipate, which is the majority of movies nowadays, unfortunately. The only way you know if they’re any good though is to watch them, and I do still like being surprised with a good film I haven’t seen before. Anyway, the killer toy in question is a teddy bear, although it looks more like a cross between a shaggy-eared dog and Elmo, named (wait for it…) Benny that somehow comes to life after its 35-year-old owner puts it aside for trash. Don’t expect an explanation for the stuffed toy becoming sentient, because all that happens is a bunch of fog suddenly appears. Now, I can overlook certain logic in a movie about a killer stuffed animal if it was actually fun. Was this fun? Honestly, not really (I think I may have laughed just one time). This film was definitely inane, but it simultaneously tried being somewhat serious and the contrasting tones just didn’t work for me. There is violence, yes, but violence does not always make a movie good, especially if it’s not notable (like here). I thought it was over a half-hour before it was and I wished it was over; I couldn’t wait for it to be over (needless to say, that’s never a good sign). The beginning was fine, featuring a spoiled little girl getting exactly what she deserved after throwing her teddy bear out (it wasn’t quite like the beginning of Dolls from 1987 though). Perhaps this story may have worked better as a short…I don’t know. Sorry Benny, I can’t say I love you…9/13/2021

Bonus review:

He’s All That EH

I re-watched She’s All That before watching this remake available on Netflix. I remember when She’s All That just came out. I mean, it was only 22 years ago (!) and I was nearing the end of high school. Now, She’s All That isn’t even (ahem) all that in regards to teen movies, as well as movies in general (now and from when I first remember watching it; the Nineties was arguably the last decade for fun, or at least memorable, teen movies though). This remake obviously switches genders and makes me wonder if another remake made 22 years from now would be called They’re All That, featuring a trans character, even though that would’ve arguably been more modern now. Anyway, this is the same movie with different performers (I counted at least two cameos from stars of the original; I think there was a brief nod to Pretty in Pink too). I mean, sure, besides the obvious difference being that popular girls instead of guys making a bet one can transform an unpopular boy instead of a girl into prom king instead of queen, there are some differences---cell phones weren’t big back in the Millennium era like they are now, not everyone is heterosexual now (or at least they’re more open about it), and there are horses in this one (I don’t remember any of those in the first one). Oh, and the cost of losing the bet is different here too. Since I wasn’t too big a fan of She’s All That, I wasn’t exactly a fan of this one either (this one felt a bit sappier too). Normally the biggest argument against remakes is that the original didn’t need improving, so perhaps improvement could’ve worked here considering the first one wasn’t that great, but there really isn’t much to the story to change other than the obvious ones (i.e. the gender-switch). Normally I would tell modern audiences to check out the original film over its remake, or at least first, but I’m not too fond of either version here. If anything, I would just say to check out She’s All That to appreciate the era it came from, but, even then, there are better teen movies to check out from that decade and in general. 9/9/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Await the Dawn >>>EH/OK

The Girl Who Got Away >>>EH

Mekko >>>EH

Prey (2021) >>>OK

(Netflix; In German with subtitles)

Welcome to the Circle >>>EH/OK

Witches in the Woods >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

9/14/2021

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Great White

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Great White OK

New shark attack movie that wasn’t direct-to-video or a Syfy channel movie. It’s a shame it wasn’t (ahem) great. I love how a shark will bite into a seaplane, enabling it to gradually sink, but it doesn’t bite into a floating raft. That’s what happens here; a couple, along with their cook, fly another couple on their seaplane before making an unexpected landing, this being where the shark bites the plane and all five people enter the raft. Since all possible rescue options are out, they hope to float or row to safety while avoiding what lurks below. This is a realistic movie for the most part; yes, this could happen, but the same went for other shark attack movies like The Shallows and 47 Meters Down. The difference between this and those films are that they were entertaining as well. Sure, there were a few suspenseful scenes here and the sharks were passable enough (except for when their mouths opened wide), but the attacks weren’t exactly noteworthy when they actually happened (something very important when watching a shark attack movie). I didn’t dislike this movie (although I think I am sort of being too nice with my rating), but it definitely can’t stand alongside other worthy entries in the sharksploitation subgenre. 9/7/2021

Bonus review:

AlRawabi School for Girls G

Netflix limited series from Jordan involving high school girls bullying each other. This is probably the first thing I saw from Jordan if I’m not mistaken; that does mean it’s mostly subtitled, in Arabic, and “mostly” means that a few parts (not many) are spoken in English (if they know the language, why isn’t it all in just one?). And limited series, which is what it is labeled as, might mean it will only be these six episodes ranging somewhere between the 40 and 50-minute mark, totaling a little less than five hours. Anyway, I grew up in a time when we didn’t have social media and word-of-mouth is what was mostly used to ruin people’s lives. It still absolutely can be used to hurt people, in addition to other means, but social media has certainly made it a lot easier. It should go without saying, but this series proves bullying will always exist no matter where you’re from as long as there are people. The girls in this school are mean (I’d say they give the ones in Mean Girls and Carrie a run for their money, which are just two movies I was reminded of while watching). It all starts when three popular girls make up a lie that gets one girl in trouble, and, naturally, this girl plans on getting even with them. Of course this causes problems for everyone involved. To be a teenager, especially a teenage girl (whatever, boys ruin lives too, it’s just not talked about as much, nor portrayed as much; as someone once said, you shouldn’t compare suffering). This limited series may not feel too original, but what the hell is these days?, but it does portray a raw glimpse of high school not much different than an American one, and, for the most part, is the most entertaining teen series (or movie, for that matter) I’ve seen in a while. 9/1/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Beasts Clawing at Straws >>>OK/G

(In Korean with subtitles)

Black Island >>>EH/OK

(Netflix; In German with subtitles)

Come True >>>EH/OK

In the Earth >>>OK

In the Heights >>>OK

Those Who Wish Me Dead >>>EH

---Sean O.

9/8/2021