Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Clerks III

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Clerks III                                                                     G
Kevin Smith (Silent Bob) was one of my favorite filmmakers at one time.  I still say that he is one of them based on his pre-Jersey Girl oeuvre, plus Clerks II.  Sure, I didn’t mind Jersey Girl, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Red State, and Tusk, but they felt like they could’ve been made by other filmmakers.  I hated Cop Out, Yoga Hosers, and Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (you can check out my vitriolic reviews of Yoga in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2016/12/mooby-reviews-121316.html, and Reboot in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/01/creepshow-season-onejay-and-silent-bob.html).  In other words, Mr. Smith was in dire need of a comeback.  Clerks is definitely my favorite of his films, one of my favorite films in general probably, and Clerks II was a worthy follow-up; I also love the six-episode Clerks animated series that I wish had more episodes.  In other words, I love this specific part of Kevin Smith’s cinematic universe.  This threequel felt like a biopic of sorts for Mr. Smith in that it rivaled parts of his own life, i.e. having a heart attack and making a film about working in a convenience store (which was how Clerks was birthed in the first place).  Sometimes it felt like a behind-the-scenes making of the first movie, mockumentary-style (on a side note, you can check out my review of the documentary on Kevin Smith, Clerk., in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/01/clerkthe-feast.html).  Because of that, there are many references to the Clerks universe, as well as other Smith films, that only fans will pick up.  Luckily a large portion of it remained in the signature Clerks style.  Now, I didn’t think it was as good as Clerks, hell, I didn’t think Clerks II was as good as its predecessor either, but they both had a lot to live up to.  I enjoyed enough of this long-awaited film that makes a fitting end to the franchise (I don’t think it would feel right to make another one and you’ll understand why).  I found myself laughing out loud a couple times and the conclusion was rather poignant without feeling sappy.  In other words, I can accept this as a comeback for Kevin after all those bombs he gave us.  12/6/2022

Bonus reviews:

Nutcracker Massacre                                                  EH/OK
What will they think of next?  Sometimes, as in this instance, I wonder why they never thought of it before.  The nutcracker in this massacre isn’t a miniature model that instantly comes to mind, but a human-size one with two fixed faces (the typical nutcracker look and an evil, open-mouthed one which appears when he’s doing something wicked; you will see how he becomes sentient and what makes him evil).  In a (ahem) nutshell…
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Pros---No CGI used and the design was passable; a different weapon used each kill (i.e. candy canes, ice skate, hammer, and another kind of nutcracker that becomes a literal definition); festive
Cons---Slow for an 86-minute movie; predictable (yes, even for a slasher movie); obviously low-budget; some kills poorly executed; horrible acting (I know, what should I have expected?)
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Do I recommend this?  Ehh.  Not really.  I don’t know.  Only if you’re curious.  It is the time of year to watch it (and something new).  It’s free too (available on Tubi).  The cons definitely outweigh the pros, but I enjoyed it more than The Killing Tree (which I reviewed not that long ago in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/this-is-gwarthe-long-night.html).  If you’re looking for a fun, cheesy holiday horror movie to watch, I would just tell you to check out (or re-watch) Jack Frost and its sequel, Jack Frost 2:  Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (which are both also available on Tubi, meaning free, always).  12/3/2022

Silent Night, Bloody Night 2:  Revival             EH/OK
The 1972 film, Silent Night, Bloody Night, was never one of my favorites, as a horror film and/or holiday one (not to be confused with Silent Night, Deadly Night, a holiday horror film I am a fan of).  I don’t dislike it, I saw it a couple times (even re-watching before this), and it does contain a double axe murder that was likely edgy for its time; it’s one of those wherein the script is better than the visual aspect.  I pretty much felt the same way about this sequel released in 2015 (I know not how it bypassed me all these years).  Now, if you’ve never seen the first film (both are available on Tubi), you might not need to before this since, much like the first sequel to Silent Night, Deadly Night, a large portion of it is presented in flashbacks here (you might be able to kill two birds by just watching this one, even though the first one is better).  As for the parts of this roughly 90-minute film that aren’t flashbacks, it’s barely average at best, much like Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2.  I mean, I can never go wrong with a holiday horror movie; I just wish more effort was put forth considering there were more resources and leniency in 2015 than 1972.  If they were trying to replicate the look/quality of the first film (which has a gritty appeal), they succeeded there since it felt like it could’ve been made not long afterwards (not counting the modern references, of course).  That aforementioned double axe murder (which was mostly off-screen; it was 1972!) was better executed than the majority of violence here; one involving a drunk Santa comes to mind the most.  The acting was horrendous here too; yes, worse than the first round.  Unnecessary sequel?  Well, it was made over 40 years later and presents a large portion of its predecessor in flashback (at least all the important parts), its predecessor not being great to begin with.  It’s a shame when scripts are better than the visual representation; these two films combined definitely make a compelling, at times disturbing, story.  Happy horrordays!  12/5/2022

Mickey Saves Christmas                                              B
(haiku review)
Love Disney; not this!
The look of this new short sucked!
Content was bland too.  12/4/2022

*Available on Disney+*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Amityville Christmas Vacation  >>>OK

Christmas Twister  >>>EH

Falling for Christmas  >>>OK
            (Netflix)

Red Snow (2021)  >>>OK

Troll (2022)  >>>OK
   (Netflix; In Norwegian with subtitles)

---Sean O.
12/7/2022

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