Thursday, May 11, 2023

Children of the Corn

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Children of the Corn                                                   OK
The 11th film of the franchise.  I’m guessing it was intended as a remake, this being the second one (there was another remake in 2009), but I would say it could be a re-imagining as well, or simply just another unrelated sequel (the only other film I reviewed before was Runaway, which you can read in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/03/mooby-reviews-31818.html).  In case you don’t know what to expect---there’s a town in Nebraska (not Gatlin though; filmed in Australia), there’s a cornfield, there’s a He Who Walks Behind the Rows (just He Who Walks now), and there are evil kids that kill (namely adults).  This remake/re-imagining/sequel/whatever it is has its moments, those moments likely to please the more indiscriminate horror fans (evil kids do get to do as evil kids do).  There are also some not-moments as well, particularly in regards to He Who Walks.  He felt like he belonged in a different movie.  It was really just the digital effects (anyone that knows me knows I’m not a fan).  There were at least two other scenes containing digital effects I wasn’t keen on, one being the very end.  It would’ve been a much better movie without the digital effects (although He Who Walks likely would’ve still looked dopey with practical effects).  I would’ve been completely okay with He Who Walks implied rather than shown, even if we just saw his point of view.  Otherwise, it really wasn’t too, too bad for a remake/re-imagining/sequel/11th entry of a franchise.  Wasn’t exactly a masterpiece, but wasn’t entirely unnecessary either.  5/9/2023

Bonus reviews:

Arbor Day                                                                   EH/OK
What “holiday” hasn’t been tackled by the horror genre yet, namely the slasher?  I don’t believe Labor Day has; research gave me nothing (let me know otherwise).  This slasher spoof was actually released in 1990 (which explains the look since it actually came out around that time instead of emulating it) and I recently saw it was available to view now (I watched it on Tubi).  This is as spoofy as it gets and, mind you, there weren’t an abundance of horror spoofs at the time (I thought it actually came out now while watching; I can’t believe I never even heard of it).  It is still a slasher movie though; people do die.  The violence is largely over-the-top; not on a Terrifier level, more of the really, really low-budget variety.  One part involving “things” ripped out of a man’s stomach went on a bit longer than it should have, said scene may or may not have been a nod to Jaws (there was a nod to Citizen Kane in the beginning and end, a much-lauded movie I personally don’t think is that great).  I actually didn’t hate this barely 80-minute film, but I still would’ve preferred it be a strictly serious slasher feature, real bear included (yeah, there’s a bear---a man in a costume---which the young boy acknowledges is a man in a costume at first, that attacks his parents on---you guessed it---Arbor Day, thus causing his catatonia before going on a killing spree years later).  Then again, there are slasher movies intended to be serious that are horrendous.  Whatever…4/29/2023

Classmates                                                                  EH
(haiku review)
College girls “switch” lives.
Freaky Friday this is not.
This Tubi film sucked.  5/10/2023

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Champions (2023)  >>>EH

Death’s Roulette  >>>OK

Inside (2023)  >>>EH/OK

Night Visitor (1989)  >>>OK

Peter Pan & Wendy  >>>EH
            (Disney+)

Summer Days, Summer Nights  >>>EH

Supercell  >>>EH

There’s Something Wrong with the Children  >>>OK

Transfusion (2023)  >>>B

The Whale  >>>OK

The Year Between  >>>OK

---Sean O.
5/11/2023

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