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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated
1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going
to review every single movie I see. I’m
going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the
rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings
for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses
under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Children of the Corn OK
The 11th film of the franchise. I’m guessing it was intended as a remake,
this being the second one (there was another remake in 2009), but I would say
it could be a re-imagining as well, or simply just another unrelated sequel
(the only other film I reviewed before was Runaway,
which you can read in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/03/mooby-reviews-31818.html). In case you don’t know what to expect---there’s
a town in Nebraska (not Gatlin though; filmed in Australia), there’s a
cornfield, there’s a He Who Walks Behind the Rows (just He Who Walks now), and
there are evil kids that kill (namely adults).
This remake/re-imagining/sequel/whatever it is has its moments, those
moments likely to please the more indiscriminate horror fans (evil kids do get
to do as evil kids do). There are also
some not-moments as well, particularly in regards to He Who Walks. He felt like he belonged in a different movie. It was really just the digital effects
(anyone that knows me knows I’m not a fan).
There were at least two other scenes containing digital effects I wasn’t
keen on, one being the very end. It
would’ve been a much better movie without the digital effects (although He Who
Walks likely would’ve still looked dopey with practical effects). I would’ve been completely okay with He Who
Walks implied rather than shown, even if we just saw his point of view. Otherwise, it really wasn’t too, too bad for
a remake/re-imagining/sequel/11th entry of a franchise. Wasn’t exactly a masterpiece, but wasn’t
entirely unnecessary either. 5/9/2023
Bonus reviews:
Arbor Day EH/OK
What “holiday” hasn’t been tackled by the horror genre yet,
namely the slasher? I don’t believe
Labor Day has; research gave me nothing (let me know otherwise). This slasher spoof was actually released in
1990 (which explains the look since it actually came out around that time
instead of emulating it) and I recently saw it was available to view now (I
watched it on Tubi). This is as spoofy
as it gets and, mind you, there weren’t an abundance of horror spoofs at the
time (I thought it actually came out now while watching; I can’t believe I
never even heard of it). It is still a
slasher movie though; people do die. The
violence is largely over-the-top; not on a Terrifier
level, more of the really, really low-budget variety. One part involving “things” ripped out of a
man’s stomach went on a bit longer than it should have, said scene may or may
not have been a nod to Jaws (there was a nod to Citizen Kane in the beginning and end, a much-lauded movie I
personally don’t think is that great). I
actually didn’t hate this barely 80-minute film, but I still would’ve preferred
it be a strictly serious slasher feature, real bear included (yeah, there’s a
bear---a man in a costume---which the young boy acknowledges is a man in a
costume at first, that attacks his parents on---you guessed it---Arbor Day,
thus causing his catatonia before going on a killing spree years later). Then again, there are slasher movies intended
to be serious that are horrendous.
Whatever…4/29/2023
Classmates EH
(haiku review)
College girls “switch” lives.
Freaky Friday this
is not.
This Tubi film sucked.
5/10/2023
Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):
Champions (2023) >>>EH
Death’s Roulette >>>OK
Inside (2023) >>>EH/OK
Night Visitor (1989) >>>OK
Peter Pan &
Wendy >>>EH
(Disney+)
Summer Days, Summer Nights >>>EH
Supercell >>>EH
There’s Something Wrong with the Children >>>OK
Transfusion (2023) >>>B
The Whale >>>OK
The Year Between >>>OK
---Sean O.5/11/2023
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