Camp Cool Kids EH
Movies set at camp always appeal to me. Misspent youth I guess. Camp movies are fun. At least they’re supposed to be, even if they
wouldn’t particularly be labeled good. Ernest Goes to Camp fits that
category. Plus, it’s subjective bias
stemming from nostalgia---it’s the first movie I recall seeing theatrically. Meatballs
is fun but far from being a masterpiece.
The Sleepaway Camp movies are
fun, campy (!) and violent---always a welcome combination stemming from
personal bias again. This movie is
neither fun nor good. It’s as lame as
the early ‘90’s Nickelodeon sitcom, Salute
Your Shorts. No, I was never a fan
of that show despite being part of my generation. This movie is probably even lamer than
that. It’s faith-based too which is
always a downer for me. I personally
don’t care if people choose to be religious, I just don’t agree with any of it
(especially if it’s hypocritical). It
wasn’t shoved in our faces the entire film, but still. It’s a typical underdog tale where the
“losers” eventually become the winners and an “underdog” eventually conquers
his fear when the situation calls for it.
Spare me! You won’t be a “cool
kid” if you watch this. 1/14/2018
Circle G
Fifty people wake up in a room with no recollection of how
they got there. Sounds like a rather
familiar setup doesn’t it? It is, but I
wasn’t bored once. The people are all
placed on red circles in a circular pattern.
If they step off the circle, they die.
Each person has something implanted in their hand which allows them to “vote”
(via arrows only each individual can see) for who gets to die. If no one is chosen, someone is picked
randomly. The group consists of
different backgrounds and ages so naturally that causes tension. Someone or something is observing and
controlling the machine (in the center of the circle) that doles out the
killings; it’s no surprise but you do find out and it doesn’t ruin the film one
bit. This simplistic thriller is proof
that recycled storylines can work if executed effectively and properly. Imagine a feature length reimagining of the
original Twilight Zone episode, “The
Monsters Are Due on Maple Street.” 1/15/2018
Cold Moon OK/G
In the beginning, I thought I was watching a sequel or
update of I Know What You Did Last Summer
set in Florida. I liked how the
killer was revealed right away instead of becoming a formulaic mystery. Then it becomes a rather silly supernatural
movie but does get darker and more serious towards the end. It’s a slightly different, albeit nothing
new, ghost story than what’s been released lately. The conclusion is open-ended too but I was
satisfied with either of my theories.
The film has the look, feel and pacing of a TV movie with elements of The Gift thrown in (the Sam Raimi movie,
not the 2015 one), but I’d recommend it for horror fans to see at least
once. 1/20/2018
Creep 2 EH/OK
Creep was decent,
read the review in my archives (http://abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com, under the
‘All my reviews alphabetized A-M’ section).
Mark Duplass returns as the “creep” and this time allows a girl to film
him for her website. This treads roughly
the same ground before the inevitable outcome.
The outcome could go one of two ways---either he eventually kills her or
she kills him instead. Well, one
scenario does happen or at least appears to since we only assume someone was
killed. You know how characters somehow
survive for sequels anymore. Regardless
of who survived at the end, I can see how this might continue. If so, I hope Creep 3 is better because the gimmick wasn’t so fresh this
time. 1/15/2018
Dunkirk EH
However much this is based on fact matters to me none. History has always been slightly fabricated
throughout time. I only care about the
film itself and whether I enjoyed it. I
doubt Troy was entirely based on
fact, but it was a good movie. This
movie was often ominous yet very much desultory and felt empty overall. Thankfully it wasn’t over 2 hours like most
war-based films are because this seemed long at just 106 minutes. Sorry, Dunkirk
lacked cohesion and failed to make me feel any kind of emotion. 1/15/2018
Hollow in the Land OK
I was reminded of Winter’s
Bone while watching this. Substitute
Missouri with Canada though. Leading
lady, Dianna Agron, has the same determination as Jennifer Lawrence in a
similarly bleak small town. Instead of
searching for her father, Dianna looks for her brother (often in trouble with
law enforcement) after he goes missing following a murder he’s suspected
of. It’s a decent mystery but ultimately
feels, how shall I say it, hollow! I
wasn’t a fan of Winter’s Bone
initially either until I appreciated it as a dreary, Southern Gothic tale over
time. 1/18/2018
Most Beautiful Island G
What some wouldn’t do for money and what those with money
wouldn’t do for entertainment. An
immigrant woman in New York accepts a job from an immigrant friend without
realizing it’s a front for something sinister.
Sure, we’ve seen and heard many ‘struggling immigrant’ tales before, but
this short indie film is tense and foreboding with an interesting reveal. 1/20/2018
My Little Pony: The Movie EH
This is the recent Friendship
is Magic-era movie despite bearing the same name as the 1986 original My Little Pony movie. I am a brony, a grown male fan of My Little Pony for those that don’t
know. I don’t think sexuality plays a
factor just as long as you have a penis and like My Little Pony. I guess you
can say I’m a hibernating brony since I haven’t kept up with it, don’t own any
toys, nor love it like other self-proclaimed bronies. I am a fan though. I watched some of the Friendship is Magic episodes around its infancy and, being an ‘80’s
kid, I used to watch the original cartoons and play with my older sister’s
toys. I vividly recall one where you twisted
its head to suck its tail into its ass and then pull the tail back out. Anyway, it’s a good thing this movie wasn’t
my first impression of the magical fillies.
I suggest unfamiliars not see this before any of the episodes, both new
and original, if you want to become fans.
I actually suggest no one, bronies and little girl fans included, see it
even though I’m curious to hear what other fans would think of it. This movie was flat and no fun with mostly
corny songs. 1/16/2018
The Snowman EH
One of the most critically maligned movies of 2017 currently
holding a 7% rating out of 161 critics on Rotten Tomatoes. Poorly reviewed movies, especially if A-list,
arouse my curiosity just as much, if not more, as critically acclaimed ones. How bad could it really be being a thriller
set and filmed in Norway starring Michael Fassbender? It’s not the absolute worst film I’ve seen,
but it’s still pretty bad. There’s an
interesting serial killer MO too involving human body parts juxtaposed with
snowmen, but it happens too little.
Whodunit films aren’t impressive anymore. Filmmakers need to understand we have to be
engaged before the reveal. I don’t even
care who the killer turns out to be anymore (and it wasn’t such a shocker here)
as long as I like the journey. The film
is mostly a bland police procedural with a hackneyed conclusion. If this is a faithful adaptation of the
famous Jo Nesbo book, I have no intention of reading it. 1/18/2018
---Sean O.
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