-------------------------------------------------------------------
In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated
1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going
to review every single movie I see. I’m
going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the
rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings
for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses
under the ‘About Me’ section).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The VelociPastor EH
I don’t want to insult anyone’s intelligence, but the title
is a combination of velociraptor and pastor.
That is indeed what the film contains too, a pastor given the ability to
transform into a velociraptor after coming into contact with an item on a visit
to China. Following the advice of a
pre-med/law hooker, he decides to only kill “bad” people. There are also ninjas. Going into the film with expectations as low
as they can possibly go, I knew it would be corny and corny it sure was. It wasn’t as completely bad as it could’ve been, I guess, and there are three catchy
songs on the soundtrack. I counted three
times I laughed, one being how laughably bad the dinosaur was, but, hey, at
least it was practical. Ha, I don’t
think it’s safe to say this film deserves praise for deciding to utilize
practical over CGI for the creature (practical here means a hunchback costume). The film isn’t recommendable by any stretch,
as should be obvious with such a title and premise, but if you’re curious and
have 70-minutes to kill (thankfully it was that short), I think you know what
I’d tell you. What am I saying? There are countless better ways to spend
70-minutes, such as watching the original Dumbo
(with 6-minutes to spare), eating some good food, swimming in a pool, or even
watching the first 70-minutes of a better movie. Clearly I’m no fun for not exactly enjoying a
film that was intended to be bad from the get-go. Oh well…8/31/2020
Bonus review:
Open 24 Hours EH/OK
(haiku review)
Girl. Gas
station. Job.
Killer Ex just escaped jail.
Bloody, but too long.
8/25/2020
Other
movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):
The Evil (1978) >>>EH/OK
One Dark Night >>>EH
They Look Like
People >>>OK
30 Miles from
Nowhere >>>EH/OK
---Sean O.
8/31/2020
No comments:
Post a Comment