I Like Moobies: January 2021

Friday, January 29, 2021

The Empty Man

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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The Empty Man G

I knew not this was based on a graphic novel until watching it and seeing it was based on one by Cullen Bunn, an artist I am familiar with. You want to know what’s even funnier? I actually own the first 6 issues of the comic after looking at my inventory list (yes, I have a list of every movie, reading material, and music I own---it definitely comes in handy, making my computer the one thing I would run into my house to retrieve if there was ever a fire; that way I’d know everything replaceable I lost). According to research, 6 issues (the ones I own) were released in 2014 and then another 8 were released between 2018 and 2019. I can’t remember a damn thing about the comics (obviously, if I couldn’t even remember I owned them), so I’m unsure how faithful this film may be, or whether it cribbed from the first 6, the last 8, or all 14, but I’m kind of glad I didn’t remember in order to view this film on its own terms, even though I’ve gradually gotten more lenient with book-to-film adaptations (and I might read the first 6 issues again whenever I feel like digging through my collection that is alphabetized, by the way; I do have a bit of OCD if you haven’t figured that out). Anyway, this film kind of reminded me of The Ring, although not as good, because it has that atmospheric investigative thriller aspect. It deals with an urban legend surrounding (you guessed it…) The Empty Man, a being that will eventually come after you for three days if you blow into an empty bottle on a bridge after dark. The story begins in Bhutan in 1995 before heading to Missouri in 2018 and you will learn the connection as obviously there will be one. The film is a bit all over the place, being over 2 hours at that, but it’s never exactly boring. It’s not a perfect film, and, even at its lengthy run-time, I still felt there might’ve been more left out (perhaps those comics might fill me in?), but it was intriguing enough for me to give it a mild recommendation. 1/26/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Best Friends Forever >>>OK

Bloody Hell >>>OK

Death of Me >>>EH

Parallel >>>B/EH

Sightless >>>OK/G

12 Hour Shift >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

1/29/2021

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Synchronic

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Synchronic OK/G

The directing duo behind this, Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead, also gave us Resolution, Spring, The Endless, a segment of V/H/S: Viral, and the episode entitled “8” in the most recent season of The Twilight Zone. [My favorite film of theirs so far is Resolution, which ended up tying in with The Endless, a film that felt incomplete viewed on its own]. If you’ve seen any of those titles, particularly the first three mentioned, you can likely deduce the filmmakers dabble in the bizarre, but are compelling nonetheless. This newest film may be trippy at times, but is largely straightforward with nothing open-ended about it. In it, a paramedic from New Orleans decides to take a popular new drug on the streets called (wait for it…) Synchronic after learning he’s dying and to try finding his co-worker’s daughter who went missing after taking said drug. You see, this drug has the power to take you back to certain points in time that occurred at the exact location you take the drug at. You only have a certain amount of time in this drug-induced “time hop” to return to the same spot you took the drug in before being stuck there forever. Trust me, it all makes sense if you see it visually. While the concept is great, I felt it could’ve been expanded upon much greater. It is a decent film, yes, but I wasn’t entirely satisfied, and I felt it may have ended a bit too positively. Perhaps I’m just too picky. Or perhaps my expectations were too high. I don’t know. I’ll always be interested in what the directing duo puts out though (although I can’t believe they co-produced She Dies Tomorrow, which is not only the worst movie of 2020, but one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen!). Perhaps there will be a companion piece like Resolution and The Endless and I’m getting too far ahead of myself? 1/20/2021

Bonus review:

Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (Season 2) OK

…I’m looking forward to the 6^th Jurassic Park movie or 3^rd Jurassic World movie (whatever it is), and I can honestly say I had fun with this series in the meantime. I did. The end suggested this could continue and I say, “Bring it!”…

Those were my final words for the review of the first season, which you can read in its entirety in the archives (www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com), and now here we are with season two of the animated spinoff available on Netflix. The same characters return with about three new ones added. It is eight episodes again, all but one being 24 minutes, the last one being 23 (the credits are always included in the total). The episodes do go by rather quickly again and there are a few suspenseful scenes, but I just didn’t have as much fun this time; this season ultimately felt like a cash grab. As of now, season three is not confirmed and it could very well happen considering this season didn’t completely end, and, if it does happen, I hope it’s better than this season. I can’t not continue considering how much a fan I am of the franchise. 1/23/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Getaway (2020; dir. Lane Toran) >>>OK

The Night They Knocked >>>OK

Spell >>>OK

---Sean O.

1/24/2021

Friday, January 15, 2021

Grizzly II: Revenge

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Grizzly II: Revenge B

Grizzly from 1976, while far from great and obviously attempted to be “Jaws on land,” is a decent natural horror film for those that enjoy such films. I mean, there’s some great scenery to look at, some effective bear POV shots, and it was probably bloody enough for the time, but the attack scenes weren’t exactly staged the best (by today’s standards, of course). Since it came out in the Seventies, there was no CGI used and they did an okay job of using real bears in addition to parts of practical ones (i.e. only seeing claws or feet instead of the whole thing, which was a wise decision based on what I say below). This indirect/in-name only sequel was filmed in 1983, but allegedly wasn’t released until recently (other titles besides Revenge were The Predator and The Concert). I wonder why since it probably would’ve sucked just as much back then. There were times I thought I was watching a nature documentary (whose scenes were likely filmed recently) and other times I thought I was watching a concert film (whose scenes were likely cribbed from actual footage, and hence one of the alternate titles). A man is shown shooting a bear cub during one of the “nature documentary” scenes in the beginning and mama bear (footage of a real bear) growls in response, thus causing her (not the real bear) to attack any human she comes in contact with (hence the ultimate title). Now, about that bear that isn’t the real one we saw in the beginning---if you think the bear attacks and the way they were staged in the first one weren’t the greatest, let me just say you won’t be complaining about how they were shot after seeing this one; Grizzly is a masterpiece next to this garbage of a sequel. I know I shouldn’t complain about practical effects being used, given how much I loathe CGI, but, come on, the bear used here wasn’t even minimally convincing (hell, the shark used in Jaws obviously wasn’t a real shark, but it worked and is still one of the best cinematic sharks to this day!). Not even three famous faces in the beginning (who don’t last long) or Louise Fletcher (most recognizable as Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and the unloving grandmother in Flowers in the Attic), who plays a woman concerned more about profit (that aforementioned concert) than people supposedly being killed by a bear in the woods (common trait for such films), could save this unnecessary sequel that should’ve stayed unreleased. If I haven’t made myself clear, I hated this movie! 1/13/2021

Bonus review:

I Am Lisa OK

This is the first time I recall seeing a movie that’s both a revenge film and a werewolf film. The werewolf doesn’t look like the ones in The Howling or Dog Soldiers, but more of a crossbreed, a human with lycanthropic features (i.e. claws, fangs, and inhuman eyes) and it is explained why. A girl named (you guessed it…) Lisa returns to a small town after her grandmother passes and leaves her a used bookstore. After she’s attacked by some townsfolk (all but one are women, so sisterhood doesn’t apply here feminists!) and taken to the woods, she’s bitten by a creature (looking more like a regular wolf) and vows revenge against all her attackers while in the midst of her transformation. Now, while this film does involve lycanthropy of sorts, it is more of a revenge film, meaning a formulaic body count film wherein none of the kills are particularly noteworthy. I feel like I’m being a bit lenient with my rating, but I did grow quite fond of the Lisa character and wouldn’t mind seeing her in a better movie. I truly wish I liked this better given there aren’t too many werewolf films out there, good ones at least, plus revenge films aren’t too distinctive on their own, so this should’ve been perfect for a genre mash-up. Oh well…1/13/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Blood and Money >>>EH/OK

Dead Dicks >>>OK/G

Echo Boomers >>>OK

Freaky Friday (2018) >>>EH

Greener Grass >>>B

Spirit Camp >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

1/15/2021

Sunday, January 10, 2021

The Craft: Legacy

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The Craft: Legacy OK

The Craft was my first R-rated movie I remember seeing in the theater, so it will always be “special” to me. The movie itself, while not great, is a fun Nineties teen horror film involving witches. While this sequel (NOT a remake or reimagining) released over 20 years later also involves teen witches, it felt a bit different from its predecessor. For one, it’s rated PG-13, and not everyone is heterosexual or cisgender (I can attest to the Nineties still being a very heteronormative time period; the transgender character here I would not have known was one unless mentioned and luckily she was actually performed by a trans actress). And whereas The Craft was an “after school special” teen film that got quite serious at the end, this sequel has an “after school special” vibe that gets a bit serious at the end yet still doesn’t particularly border on horror. There is a connection to the first film that isn’t revealed until the end (although the connection is expected after a certain tidbit is disclosed), so one not necessarily need to see the predecessor, but only those that have seen it will understand said connection (in addition to a specific phrase repeated). Plus, like always, why would you care to see a sequel to a film you haven’t seen even if there was no direct connection? I understand this sequel, as well as most sequels, had a lot to live up to considering the first film became somewhat of a cult hit. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this was an unnecessary sequel, but it wasn’t as fun or as dark as the first one which I didn’t think was a masterpiece to begin with. I will say it has been a while since I recall seeing a teen movie realistically depict teenagers being teenagers quite well though (I don’t think bullying will ever truly end, unfortunately, as long as there’re schools and people); the beginning contains a scene that kind of reminded me of the beginning of Carrie and you’ll understand my comparison if you see it. Legacy is okay for a sequel released almost ¼ of a century later, just okay, nothing even an ounce more, much like the average “after school special.” 1/6/2021

Bonus review:

Wolfwalkers OK/G

(haiku review)

Crisp animation.

It’s hand-drawn distinctively.

Stale-ish story though. 1/8/2021

*[Irish film available on Apple+]*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Cut Throat City >>>EH

Fear Pharm >>>OK

She Dies Tomorrow >>>VB

(One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen!)

Spiral (2020) >>>OK/G

(Shudder)

---Sean O.

1/10/2021

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Part 4)

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Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Part 4) OK/G

I made it this far and this is seemingly the final season (although that’s what they say now) of this slightly dark variation concerning the teenage witch (played by Kiernan Shipka). I wasn’t going to rewatch all three previous seasons before this, so I just read the synopsis for each episode on Wikipedia; plus there’s a recap of season three before the first episode, so I’m guessing what’s shown in that recap is obviously the most important. With the exception of season two (or part, as seasons are labeled for this Netflix series), this series was fine enough for me (you can read my reviews of the first three seasons/parts in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com); not fine in the sense I’ll buy a t-shirt, poster, or any other memorabilia promoting the show, or join a Facebook group devoted to it, but fine in the sense I enjoyed enough of it to kind of recommend and the only time I’ll ever discuss it is if mentioned. I did watch all four seasons/parts after all and the only time I truly felt like I forced myself to continue was during season/part 2. This part consisted of eight episodes, each one involving an Eldritch terror with plans on destroying anyone and everything, not just this fictional town of Greendale and its inhabitants. That did make things a bit interesting in having a different terror each episode, but the episodes are all roughly an hour (like the other seasons/parts) and sometimes they actually feel so (TV episodes should rarely ever be an hour a piece unless it’s an anthology show). Like I said though, I never really felt like I forced myself to continue after each episode. If they do actually decide to end it here, and I think they should (lest it overstay its mild welcome), I think it concluded fair enough, some might even say a bit poignantly. 1/2/2021

Bonus reviews:

Shortcut OK

A handful of teenagers are riding on a bus in the countryside before being hijacked by an escaped prisoner with a gun after the driver takes a (you guessed it…) shortcut. [It’s an Italian film, but the accents say it might be England or Scotland or somewhere in that region; it’s not really important wherever it takes place though]. The prisoner is the least of their worries when they eventually come across a creature that resembles an alien vampire (imagine a distorted version of the vampire in The Night Flier, an underrated Stephen King adaptation AND vampire movie). Comparisons to Jeepers Creepers 2 are inevitable at first (I saw at least one Rotten Tomatoes reviewer mention it), but the action eventually exits the bus as the characters escape to an underground facility nearby. The first half of this film seemed promising; the second half is where it loses steam and gets a bit lame. I didn’t dislike this film, it was okay (hence my rating), it just wasn’t ultimately as fun as other creature features of yesteryear. 1/4/2021

House of Purgatory OK/G

Somehow this film from 2016 bypassed my radar. It’s not available on Netflix and it couldn’t have been available at Redbox because I likely would’ve at least used a free code to rent it, even if it sounded like a run-of-the-mill direct-to-video title (which this one does). I came across it after seeing a post on a page I follow on social media, as is often the case for titles I’m unaware of, and saw that it was available on Tubi (meaning free), so viewing it I did. In it, a small group of people on Halloween decide to drive to a haunted house that promises money for each level completed. There’s certainly something shady about this place, as is often the case in these movies. For one, they seem to be the only car at the place on Halloween night (uh-huh) and the admission is free since it’s Halloween night (uh-huh). Once inside, the deepest secrets are revealed to each person and none of them are original at all, but this movie somehow managed to keep my attention during its barely 75-minute runtime. Not a great film by any measure, but I sure enjoyed it more than many other films that didn’t bypass my radar! 1/4/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Alone (2020) >>>EH/OK

The Call (2020) >>>EH/OK

(dir. Timothy Woodward Jr.)

Koko-di Koko-da >>>EH

Love and Monsters >>>OK/G

Open Grave >>>EH/OK

The Platform >>>OK/G

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

1/5/2021