Saturday, August 7, 2021

Godzilla vs. Kong

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Godzilla vs. Kong                                                        OK/G
I finally got to see this much-discussed film that I was in no rush to see; I’ll see it when I see it thought I.  I’m not even that much a fan of the movies featuring either titular titan; I haven’t even seen them all either, but I know I saw the last couple for both and I believe this crossover was in relation to the most recent titles.  Now, when I see a movie called Godzilla vs. Kong, that is primarily what I expect to see.  I know, I know, all the expected exposition has to be there (and an entire film of fighting would’ve likely been redundant), but it seemed like there was a whole lot of exposition here, especially in the beginning.  Even though I’ve seen films featuring both creatures, like I said, I have no idea who any of the human characters are, nor do I keep track of any of them, usually reminded of them if they’re re-introduced or we’re presented with a flashback, but I think others would agree with me when I say the humans are ancillary in these films regardless of how much screen-time they get.  Now, the scenes that do feature the behemoths duking it out are rather impressive (I saw it on a small screen too!), and there are other beings aside from the main attractions that provide equally impressive scenes.  Adam Wingard directed, who was also behind films like You’re Next and The Guest, so it was in very capable hands (although those two films are much different, of course).  I hate to say it felt a bit lacking in what I expected (the film was almost 2 hours too) and I ultimately didn’t enjoy it as much as other action movies involving monsters of some kind, and [SPOILER] I didn’t like how both creatures ended up being the good guys at the end, but I also wasn’t anticipating much (like I said).  It is what it is and I enjoyed a decent amount of it, so I’m definitely not dismissing it.  8/3/2021

Bonus reviews:

Sharks of the Corn                                                      EH
Obviously the title is a reference to another film (franchise really) ending in “of the Corn.”  In an even less subtle move, Steven Kang’s is atop the title!  I looked at the entire cast and crew information and found no one with that name, or pseudonym.  I even Googled the name and other names with different spelling came up.  Interestingly, Tim Ritter, the director, also made that crazy 80’s film, Truth or Dare?:  A Critical Madness, which I rented on VHS ages ago and didn’t know until I did my aforementioned research.  Anyway, watching a movie called Sharks of the Corn (Steven Kang’s Sharks of the Corn, at that) and having seen a trailer before, I knew not to have the highest expectations going in.  By the way, I didn’t recall any references/homages to any Children of the Corn film, nor any shark film for that matter, unless they all went over my head (you do get to hear some tidbits on great whites though).  The film involves exactly what you think it does---there are sharks in a cornfield somewhere in Kentucky (geez, all they had to do was set it in Nebraska to be even less subtle!).  Obviously, since it’s a 105-minute movie (yes, really), the film can’t entirely consist of sharks eating people in a cornfield; Bigfoot and mob dealings are some of the other things involved.  Now, I can forgive a movie featuring an entirely asinine concept if it was actually fun.  This started out like it could’ve been fun; unsurprisingly, the shark attacks were poorly executed (there is blood though) and they didn’t even try hard at all with the look of the shark in the cornfield, and, frankly, I was bored more often than I should’ve been; I don’t think that 105-minute run-time was necessary.  At least I allowed myself to wait until it was free to watch, because I was considering renting it for a price for a while, and, had I done so, I would’ve been even more disappointed than I already was!  8/3/2021

Land Shark                                                                  EH/OK
(haiku review)
It’s bad.  You surprised?
Short, bloody, laughably bad.
They tried.  Ha…sort of.  8/4/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Cannibal Corpse Killers  >>>EH

Lilith (2018)  >>>EH

Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase  >>>OK

Scooby-Doo!  Moon Monster Madness  >>>EH

---Sean O.
8/7/2021

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